Chapter 5
AISLYNN
Iabsentmindedly glided my fingertips through the hot bathwater, my thoughts still preoccupied with what had happened back in that alley.
Not only was I a virgin, but I’d never been touched that way before. All my orgasms had been self-induced, which in this day and age may have seemed weird. However, I had my reasons—the main one being that I wanted to wait until I was married.
I’d grown up with three older brothers who treated sex like a commodity. I’d watched them lay waste to the female population of Hambleton, and it made me think seriously about how I wanted to live my life. It didn’t put me off sex per se, but it did make me want to do things differently.
Also, I hadn’t met anyone I wanted to have sex with.
I’d had boyfriends, but none of my relationships ever lasted long enough to get serious because they bored me.
Maybe, again, it had something to do with the men in my life.
My brothers and da were smart and sharp-minded and as alpha as they came.
They were more morally challenged than morally grey, but still, they set a precedent for the type of guy I wanted and had set the bar pretty high.
I didn’t want a regular Joe; I wanted a man who challenged me and kept me on my toes. My partner would be strong, respected, protective, and possessive. I wanted a man who’d kill for me and in the next breath, die for me. I wanted a great, epic love with a man who’d turn my life upside down.
The first time I laid eyes on Pagan, I sensed he was all that and more, and then he played his little game, and I backed away, thinking my instincts were wrong.
But they weren’t.
He was everything I wanted on damned steroids.
Most women would call me crazy, and maybe they’d be right, but Pagan had made me feel more in one week than anyone else had in a lifetime, and I was hooked.
My mind kept flashing back to that alley, not helped by aching thighs that still tingled with the bruises Pagan’s fingers had left behind.
My ass stung, the skin still raw from his spanking, but it didn’t erase the memory of my climax.
I’d never come like that before, and it had left a heaviness in my body, but somehow, my mind was oddly light.
I heard a click at the bathroom door, and my eyes lifted to see Pagan walk in, holding a glass of wine.
“Brought you this,” he said, his deep raspy voice unusually soft. “Thought it may help warm you up.”
“I’m warm now,” I assured him.
He let out a quiet snort. “Thought you were fuckin’ hypothermic when I carried you up here.”
By the time we pulled up outside my apartment, I shivered so much I couldn’t walk. I was cold for sure, but I think a part of how my body responded was a reaction to the way he’d touched me.
I’d had a weird couple of days, and I guessed getting publicly finger-blasted by an outlaw biker (who the night before had stabbed a knife through a man’s hand just because he touched me) was my tipping point.
“You feel better now?” he asked.
My eyes caught his, and I nodded.
His gaze roamed lazily over my face. “Could you eat?”
That was when I picked up the smell of food, something I wasn’t used to because I usually ate out. I loved cooking, but it seemed pointless to bother for one person.
He jerked a thumb in the direction of my kitchen. “I stopped at Whole Foods earlier ’cause I was gonna cook for us. Got Wiki to track your ass down, and he tapped into your cell. I thought you’d be here waitin’ for me.”
“I didn’t hear from you, and you didn’t show, so I assumed you’d changed your mind,” I admitted.
His lip curled slightly. “And you thought it’d be smart to put your mouth on another dude? Revenge much?”
“It wasn’t like that,” I protested. “I was telling Kieran how much I missed my dad, and he made me feel better. It was reactionary and probably looked way worse than it was—”
“Don’t fuckin’ say his name to me, Dubheasa.
” He sucked air in through his nose and released it slowly.
“I’ve only just calmed my shit. Don’t make me pop off again.
” He perched his ass on the side of the tub and rested his free hand on my nape, lifting the wine glass to my mouth, and ordered, “Drink.”
I took a sip, savoring the mellow taste as the wine hit the back of my throat.
My eyes never left Pagan’s as I relished the way the weight of his palm at the base of my skull felt so grounding.
It was weird because he wasn’t gentle by any means, but something in the way his fingers rested on my skin felt comforting.
“Why are you being so nice to me?” I asked.
He held the glass back to my mouth, waiting for me to take another sip before asking, “Why wouldn’t I be nice to you?”
“You spanked my ass raw in an alley, and now you’re feeding me wine. Forgive me if I’m being slow, Pagan, but my head’s about to explode with trying to keep up with all your mood swings.”
He flashed his straight white teeth. “You’ve got me wrong, baby.”
My eyebrows pulled together. “How?”
He reached up to place the wine on the shelf by the sink and turned back to me.
“The alley scene happened because it had to. I walked inside that bar, saw you kissin’ another guy, and I needed to deal with it.
Then you mouthed off, so I needed to deal with that, too.
If you eventually become my ol’ lady, you’ll need to behave a certain way in front of my men, so it’s better we get the lessons out of the way early.
But know this, baby: my intent isn’t to hurt you; it’s to worship you.
After today, there’ll be no question in your mind of who you belong to.
You don’t touch other men. You don’t even look at another man. Got it?”
I jutted my chin out defiantly. “Does that go for you, too?”
“Yeah,” he replied without hesitation.
“It’s a deal-breaker for me, Pagan,” I went on. “If you’re touching me, and I’m touching you, we don’t touch anybody else.”
“Deal,” he responded, again with no hesitation. “Now, I’m gonna ask you a question, and I want the truth. Why are you still a virgin?”
I felt my cheeks heat, but I gave him my honesty. “I always wanted to save myself for my husband. I know it’s old-fashioned, but I want to give my husband everything.”
“Is that a Catholic thing?” he asked softly, his hand leaving my nape and tracing along my jawline.
“No.” I smiled at him. “It’s an Aislynn thing.”
He stared at me, deep in thought, a myriad of emotions flickering across his face as he weighed up what I’d told him.
Eventually, he nodded slowly. “I respect that, and if I’m honest, I like the idea of my wife being just mine.
It’s easy to reduce a relationship to sex, so we won’t be in danger of that.
Doesn’t mean we’re not gonna play, though, baby.
” He dipped his chin and grinned wolfishly. “Did you like what I did to you?”
The heat in my cheeks began to burn, but I nodded. “I shouldn’t have, but I did. I liked that you took control of me.” I paused, biting my lip thoughtfully. “Now, let’s back things up a little because I need to ask. You just said wife?”
“Been lookin’ a long time for a woman good enough for my boys.
Told you yesterday, I’m not fuckin’ around here, baby.
I’m in it for the long haul. I’m a prez now, and I’ve gotta get serious.
Got men lookin’ up to me, and it’s my job to lead by example.
Wanna make the club a success, and that means I like the idea of havin’ the support of a good woman.
Plus, it’s time. I’m not a kid anymore; I wanna settle down and build a family. ”
My uncertainty must have been written all over my face because he went on, “I’ll give you time to get to know me and how my world works, and if it works out, we’ll get hitched.
But know this, baby: I’m lookin’ at sooner rather than later.
Time’s a-wastin’, and my boys need me.” He cupped my cheek and angled my face so he could stare straight into my eyes. “How far have you gone in the past?”
“I haven’t,” I whispered. “Tonight was it. Nobody’s ever touched me the way you just did.”
He released my face and slowly dropped down to his knees beside the bathtub, trailing a finger up my arm while his gaze roamed over my body, partially hidden by the suds from my expensive bubble bath.
“I like that, Aislynn,” he admitted softly. “I like it a whole lot.”
My heart jumped to my throat, and I whispered, “So do I.”
“Never had anythin’ all for me before. Growin’ up, my clothes, games, everythin’ came from thrift stores.
My food was whatever was left over at the end of the day from the diner where my mom worked—when she bothered goin’ in.
My dad was too busy with his brothers at the club and his other kid to make sure I had what I needed.
Even my fuckin’ bed had been left at the apartment by the previous tenant.
Never got new, never got quality, never got clean.
” He gave me a ghost of a smile. “You’re probably the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid eyes on.
You’re untouched and unspoiled, and I like it, Aislynn.
Makes me think I must’ve done somethin’ right in my sorry-assed life to finally get a reward that’s so damned sweet. ”
“It’s not something I tell many people,” I admitted. “But now I wish I had because you seem freaked by it.”
He snorted with amusement. “Maybe I am a bit freaked, but not ’cause you’re a virgin.
I’m reelin’ ’cause I wanna lock you up and keep you all to myself.
The thought of another man even lookin’ at you sets my teeth on edge.
” Pagan’s eyes softened, and he leaned over the edge of the bath to brush his lips against mine.
“Gonna grill the steaks, baby; don’t be long. ”
I reached up and stroked my thumb across his lip. “Okay.”
He hauled himself to his feet and looked down ruefully at his tee, soaked from the bathwater. Then, he reached over toward his nape and pulled it off, leaving his chest exposed.