Chapter one
Anastasia
“Rush, dinner is ready,” I call down the hall.
I go back over to the stove, plating the chicken, potatoes, and broccoli as I hear him stomping down the hall.
As he comes into the kitchen, I hold the plate out to him.
Rusher grabs it as he passes me, kissing me on the side of the head.
Smiling to myself, I’m finally content with the way things are going in our lives.
Once I’ve got my plate fixed, I make my way over to the dining room table and sit across from him.
“How was your day today?” I ask him.
Rusher sighs, flopping back in his chair. “It sucked.”
“Mouth!” I point my fork at him. “Why was it so bad?”
“Sorry, Ma.” He bows his head. “No one takes practice serious so we’re not anywhere close to ready for the season opener. Tylor also told us today that he is moving and won’t even be going to the same high school. Do you know what this means?”
“That you guys are losing a player?” I ask cautiously because I have no idea where this is going, and I can tell he is upset about things.
“That means all the years, time, and training that we’ve put in to be the dynamic duo, to be the ones to beat, were for nothing,” he hisses, dropping his head into his hands.
“Rush, you’re a fantastic catcher. You can catch for anyone, you know that. Coach will get the team whipped into shape before you know it. Just take a breath, let’s eat, and things will look different tomorrow,” I tell him, hoping that I’m telling him the right thing.
He levels his two-tone gaze at me, eyes narrowed. “How do you do it?”
“What do you mean?” I ask him, not understanding what he’s asking me.
“This, all of this.” He waves his hand around above his head.
“You gave up your life to come here and take care of a kid that wasn’t even yours.
You are my mom in every way that matters, but when Shea blows into town, you just let her step in.
You talk to Auntie Lynn all the time, but we never get to go see her because you refuse to go back to that godforsaken town, as you say.
You work, run me to all the things, and come to all my sport and school events.
You never complain, argue, or even ask for anything.
How do you do it? Why do you do it? If my own mother and father don’t want me, why would you? ”
With every word he speaks, my heart breaks for the young man in front of me.
How do you tell him that his momma is batshit crazy, on and off drugs, and crossed the wrong men one too many times to the point our lives were on the line?
That his father gave her money for an abortion because he couldn’t stand to be tied down with a baby.
Worst of all, how do I tell him the same man ripped my beating heart out, squeezed it to dust, and I’m too chickenshit to go home and face him?
“I do it all because I love you. I may not have given birth to you, but Rusher, I would fight my worst fears and stand between you and the universe before I allow you to be hurt by people that don’t fucking matter.
” Standing, I go around the table and pull him into me, wrapping my arms around his head.
Rusher wraps his arms around my waist, squeezing. “Thank you. I love you, Ma. I don’t need anything from those people. I just wish I knew why.”
Pulling back, I cup his cheeks. “The day will come that you get to ask those questions, and when it does, you will not do it alone. I will stand with you, so no matter what they say, you know I will always have your back.”
He gives me a small smile, squeezing me one more time before tucking back into his dinner.
I tussle his hair before going back to my seat.
We spent the rest of dinner laughing before moving to the couch to watch a movie and chill.
If I had known this would be one of the last normal days that Rusher and I would have, I would’ve cherished it that much more.
It wasn’t twenty-four hours later that I got a call from my sister that Auntie Lynn is dying, and she can’t take care of her on her own. She needs me to come back and help take care of her.
“What about Rusher? He is starting high school and looking to play baseball. I can’t just uproot everything to come back. You said Rusher’s life would be in danger if we were there, and now you want me to just come back? Is he safe?” I ask her as I pace my small living room.
“Look, the kid is fifteen and will be fine. I cannot take care of this crazy old lady anymore. Either you come help her or I put her in a home. I’ve got shit to do,” Shea snaps back at me.
“Shea, I just don’t know. You haven’t seen him in nearly ten years. What are you expecting from us when we get back to town?” The dread I feel is suffocating.
“I’m not expecting shit. Get your ass back here, Anastasia.
” She sighs, and instantly her tone changes.
“Sissy, please. I’m scared, and I just need a little help for once.
I’ve been working so hard on staying clean, keeping the guys that would come for you and Rusher off your back, and taking care of Auntie Lynn.
I just really need you to come help me for a while. ”
I rub my eyebrow, continuing my pacing. “Let me look a few things over, and I’ll get back to you. It’s not something I can just do.”
“You have until tomorrow to decide. Just know that if you choose not to come, Auntie Lynn will be here alone for at least a week. So, it’s up to you. Oh, and remember I can come get Rusher at any time.”
“Looks like we’re coming back to town.” I huff, plopping down onto the couch, fighting all the emotions rolling and mixing deep in my soul.
What have I just done? Why would I agree to go back?
That town has done nothing but hurt and take everything from me.
The door bangs open, and Rusher comes through the door looking even more defeated than he was yesterday.
He drops his bag on the floor, his bats banging together.
The look on his face when he comes into the living room breaks my heart even more.
“Practice still that bad?” I ask him.
“What practice? Coach can’t even get those assholes to warm up, much less practice,” he yells, fisting his hands in his hair.
“Language,” I snap in annoyance.
“Sorry.” He hangs his head. “I can’t play for that team. I’ll never get any eyes on me if I do.”
“What if you don’t have to?” I wonder watching him closely.
“What do you mean? There isn’t another high school in this town,” he tells me cautiously.
“It wouldn’t be in this town. I got a call today that Auntie Lynn needs help and there isn’t anyone else to help her. When I went to high school there, the baseball team won state several times.” I shrug as if the words don’t taste like acid on my tongue.
“Auntie Lynn always comes to us. You refuse to go to her and be anywhere near that town,” he states flatly.
Mock glaring at him, I ask, “When did you get so observant?”
“I didn’t. I might have listened to you and Auntie Lynn talking from time to time. There might have been moments I was eavesdropping, and Auntie Lynn loves to fuss about things.” He leans back on the loveseat.
“Well, we both know Auntie Lynn doesn’t mince words. At the end of the day, you need a better school and Auntie Lynn needs our help. So, I can deal with what I’m feeling and my past to make sure you both are okay.”
“Alright then, I’m down.” He smiles wide, pulling his phone out. “What is the name of the school?”
I give him all the information he needs to research the school, baseball team, and the coaches. Then, I shoot a text first to my baby sister, and then to Auntie Lynn.
Me: We’ll be there by the end of the week!
Shea: I knew you wouldn’t disappoint.
Me: why didn’t you tell me things were this bad?
Auntie: It ain’t that bad! Your sister has a big mouth.
Me: I’ll be there by the end of the week and we can talk more.
Auntie: Pish posh don’t be daft
Me: end of the week
“Well, Rush, it looks like we’re going back to Savannah. We need to be packed and on the road by Friday.” Standing, I make my way to my room to take a shower and lose my shit.
I spend the week hardening my heart and working to prepare myself for the fact that I will come face-to-face with Rusher’s father, and praying that my sister has in fact taken care of whoever was threatening Rush’s life.
All while my heart is shattering because Auntie Lynn is dying.
The only woman to ever give a damn about my sister and me.
She was always our crazy, hippy-dippy aunt who lived her life to the beat of her own drum.
That’s laughable. She lives her life to the tune of her very own band.
To lose her would be like tearing out my very being, leaving me a shell.
This means I need to get back to Georgia and put eyes on my aunt to make sure nothing happens to her for a very long time.
Rush and I spend the entire week getting things packed and loaded into the moving truck.
On Friday morning, I wake Rush up early so we can get on the road before traffic gets heavy while I drive this monster of a truck.
He grumbles and moans about how early it is for about ten minutes before he is snoring lightly against the window.
I shake out my hands and start the truck, pointing in the direction of Auntie Lynn’s.
I pull down Auntie Lynn’s long driveway, breathing a sigh of relief at making it with no problems. Rusher eventually woke up and talked the rest of the ride about all the things his new school offers and how often the baseball team has won.
If not for the building tension inside me, I would have laughed at his excitement.
I laugh out loud when I hear him gasp as Auntie Lynn’s house comes into view.
“Her house looks like it’s from the plantation days.” His eyes are so wide. “It’s so big!”