Chapter 32
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
AMES
Flynn’s interactions with Short have made me smile, for a second at least. But as I watch the men leave the clubroom, my face tightens.
I’m ambivalent about what’s going to happen.
Even if it wasn’t on my behalf, Malachi’s caused too much trouble for the club to give him a pass.
I know he won’t be alive beyond tonight.
They’ll have to make his death look like an accident. I wonder how they’ll do it.
Aren’t you supposed to love your blood family, however mean they turn out to be?
If my parents had still been alive, would they have been able to control him?
But I soon realise it’s an unanswerable question.
All that should matter to me, is that when Malachi takes his last breath, I’ll be free.
Or not. My lips press together. The Bratva — that was what Bullseye called them, wasn’t it?
— should be satisfied if the insurance pays out.
I’m happy if every penny I get goes to them.
But what about the Russian who wanted to marry me?
I’ve still got my inheritance hanging around my neck like an albatross.
Flynn might still be in danger as he stands in the way if this Rodion wants my money.
“Here.” Pippa appears, Jade balanced on one arm and in her free hand she’s holding a glass with a slice of lime on the side which she hands to me. As I race my eyebrow, she explains, “It’s a margarita. I got Dee to mix some up. Had a feeling we might need some tonight.”
“I’ve only drunk wine before,” I tell her, my face flushing red.
“Try this. I think you’ll like it.”
I take my first sip, then grimace. “It’s salt?”
She laughs. “Just around the rim. If you don’t take to it, I think there might be some wine.”
“There is,” another female voice sounds. “I stocked up the fridge.”
I look up at the newcomer, smiling when I realise it’s Trixie. I try the cocktail again. This time, it goes down better. “I’ll stick with this.”
“How’s my favourite girl doing?” Freak’s woman leans over and coos at the baby in Pippa’s arms. “You wanna come to your Auntie Trix?”
Immediately Pippa passes her over. She rolls her shoulders as if she’d stiffened after holding her for so long. From the way the two women look at each other, they’re close. A bit like me and Satin.
Which reminds me. “Now I’m back, I’ll have to catch up with my friend Satin again.”
They exchange looks with each other. “Er, no,” Pippa tells me. “You can’t do that.”
After I’ve taken another sip of the rather delicious margarita that I’m fast starting to like, I frown. “Has she moved on?”
Pippa grimaces. “Ames, all the evidence points to her being the one who told Malachi that Rat and you were at the cabin. She had the means to find out.”
“No!” I shake my head. I don’t believe it.
If it’s true, it means the condition Flynn’s in is all down to Satin.
The grief I went through when he was missing, all her fault.
I breathe out the breath I’d been holding.
“It can’t be true. She’s been such a good friend to me. She got me away, protected me…”
“And then she found out how much money you were worth.” She raises a brow.
Oh shit. But… “I never told her why Malachi wanted me. She didn’t know about the money.”
Pippa shakes her head. “Maybe I’m wrong.” Her expression suggests she rarely is. Her baby starts to fuss. She holds out her arms to take Jade back, then discreetly she adjusts her top, and puts Jade at her breast to feed.
“Babe.” Hands now free, Trixie comes around and puts her arm around me. “Money corrupts all the time.”
“I thought she was my friend,” I say, softly. Then add more firmly, “She still is.”
Stubbornly, I refuse to believe the worst of my friend as Trixie returns to her seat. She takes a sip of her own drink. “Now, spill. What’s going on between you and Rat? You look like you’ve gotten close.”
Pippa smirks. “Now that I can’t believe. You’re a clever woman, Ames, you’re studying for your degree. Did Rat brainwash you or something?”
Trixie chuckles. “Has to be something like that. Rat’s not known for his great personality.”
Still reeling from the thought Satin might have betrayed me, I stiffen at the shade they’re throwing at Rattler.
I open my mouth to jump in and defend him, when suddenly memories come back to me.
Of how he’d first been when we arrived at the cabin, sarcastic and always getting little digs in, of how he admitted he’d been the same with his brothers, and presumably their better halves.
Realising there’s no malice behind their enquiries, I shake my head and smile.
“Rattler’s an acquired taste, that’s for sure.
” Then, my recollections move on. “Being just the two of us, it was either kill each other or find some common ground. We kind of drifted to the latter. I ended up really liking him.”
“And he’s obviously head over heels for you,” Pippa grins.
I blush.
“Are you going to stay married?” Trixie asks, bluntly.
Put on the spot, I struggle to answer. “Well, I don’t want an annulment.”
“Annulment?” They both ask together. Pippa who’d been there when my brother was spouting his shit, asks, “Wasn’t that something Malachi made up?
You mean divorce, don’t you?” Pulling Jade away from her breast and tidying herself up, she bumps her hip against mine.
“After all the time you two spent together, I doubt there are grounds to annul the marriage.”
I enlighten Trixie who’s looking confused. “My brother drew up papers for Rat to sign on the grounds we’d entered the marriage without real intent.” To be honest, it was true at the time.
Trixie sits back and gives a relieved sigh. “I thought for a moment you were going to say the marriage hadn’t been consummated.”
My deepening blush must have given me away, and both women suck in air at the same time.
“You didn’t …?”
Caught off guard, I admit, “Our relationship, if that’s what you call it, was slow burn. We were just about to… well, when my brother came calling.”
“But you do fancy him?” Pippa asks, while Trixie frowns.
My cheeks burn an even deeper shade of red. “Well, yeah. Of course.” Who wouldn’t?
“Hey, where are all the brothers?” A voice behind us startles me.
“Hi, Star,” Trixie replies. “They’re doing some business.” I notice she’s deliberately vague.
“Oh.” The newcomer sounds disappointed. “Can I?” she asks, pointing to the jug of my new favourite drink.
“Only if you make up more,” Pippa replies, her tone flat. I notice while only Trixie and I are drinking it, the level of liquid in that jug has certainly gone down.
“Sure.” Star first pours herself a glass and then starts getting the tequila and some sort of mix out.
“Did I overhear you wanted to try Rattler out?” Her tone is conversational.
She grimaces, then without waiting for an answer, continues, “I wouldn’t advise it.
Would you, Trix? And I know Heaven and Sweetie would back me up. ”
What the hell? She can’t be saying what I think she is, can she?
“Shut the fuck up,” Trix snarls.
“Think you’re better off going to wait for the brothers with the other club girls,” Pippa tells her, through gritted teeth.
Looking like a rabbit caught in the headlights, Star freezes. I take the opportunity to ask, “What are you talking about?”
Catching Pippa’s warning glance, she starts to move away, heading toward the kitchen. I slide off my stool, determined to get answers. Quickening my pace, I go around her, forcing her to stop. “Tell me. What did you mean?”
“Um.”
“Star!” She’s not much older than me, and seems more intimidated by me, than I am by her. “Just spit it out, whatever it is.”
She bites her lip, as Trixie also approaches, saying, “Don’t you dare.”
With a disdainful look toward Freak’s woman, Star seems to grow a backbone.
“Look, you’re no whore, but if you’re looking for a happily ever after, you’re going to be disappointed.
” Then to Trixie, she says, “She deserves to know.” Turning her attention back to me, she warns, “Rat’s no catch.
He’s got no fucking idea what a woman wants in bed, and doesn’t even bother to try to find out.
All you’ll get is wham, bam, thank you ma’am, and he’ll leave you unsatisfied. ”
“That’s enough, Star,” Trixie growls.
Stubbornly, the girl carries on. “She needs to know what she’s letting herself in for. And you can’t tell me I’m wrong, Trix. You know exactly what I’m talking about.” Star places her hands on her hips. “That man’s bad news.”
“She’s not wrong.” Two other women dressed in barely there clothes join her. The speaker continues. “I’ve always had to finish myself off after a night.” She snorts, then corrects, “A quick roll with him.”
“Me too,” her companion says, rolling her eyes. “Forget about the G-spot. That asshole doesn’t even know what a clit is.”
My heart thumps so loud I’m sure they can hear it, and my voice drops to a whisper. “You’ve all been with him?” I look from Star to the other women.
Almost as one, they shrug as if telling me that they’ve all fucked my man and it’s nothing.
“More times than I care for.”
“Shut it, Heaven,” Trixie warns again. Then to me, she explains, “They’re club girls. That’s what they’re here for. To provide services for the single men.” She places what’s supposed to be a calming hand on my arm, but I remember what else was said.
I round on her, and hiss, “She said you could confirm it as well.”
The third woman whose name I don’t yet know but suspect I won’t be hanging around to find out, chuckles.
“Trix used to be one of us before she got together with Freak. So, yeah, she knows what we’re talking about.
” She gives me a condescending smile. “If you’re looking for a real man, girl, I’d set your sights on someone other than Rat.
Though…” She purses her lips. “If you are set on Rat, you’d be doing us all a favour.
That’s if he cares about you enough to be exclusive.
” It’s the way the other girls all nod in agreement, that gives me the most concern.
If they were warning me off him because they wanted him for themselves, perhaps I could better understand. But they’re not jealous, they’re… sympathetic. All of a sudden, I feel the weight of my na?ve, inexperienced, nineteen years.
I start backing away, slowly at first, then quicken my steps. I’m stopped by Pippa.
“Don’t take any notice of them,” she advises.
But the damage has been done. These three, no four, women, all know Rat intimately, in a way that I’ve dreamed of but never have.
And now they’re warning me off him. Apart from the embarrassment, a little voice inside me suggests they can’t all be wrong.
And do I want to give my virginity to a man who doesn’t sound like he knows what to do with it? Or worse, can’t be bothered?
I can’t push a woman holding a baby out of my way, but I’m desperate to leave. “Let me go.”
“Ames…”
“And you?” I turn to Trixie who’s come up behind me. “Why would I want to drink with you now?” I wave my hands dismissively. “I know Rattler’s got a past, but this? Why didn’t you warn me?” I realise I’ve reverted to using his club name.
She’s stunned by my vehemence, and I take the opportunity and go. I tear up the stairs to the room we’ve been staying in. Throwing myself on the bed—which unfortunately smells just like him—I place my head in my hands, my brain racing.
What do they know? He might be different with me. If he wants me enough, he can change.
And isn’t that what women have been saying since the beginning of time? If Rattler’s set in his ways, he won’t change now.
Am I still suffering from Stockholm Syndrome? Have I convinced myself of things that were never there? Have we really moved on from the way we first saw each other? They say first impressions are never wrong. And mine, of him, weren’t good.
He’s selfish in bed. That’s what they were saying. Just like he’d only thought of himself at the start back in the cabin. They’ve just raised a huge red flag, and one I’d be stupid to ignore.
I should just go. But where to? With what?
Apart from what little I took to the cabin, all my possessions are back in the apartment I shared with Satin.
And I’ve been warned I should stay clear of her.
I’m free now, aren’t I? Malachi won’t be a problem anymore.
But what about the Russian he’d basically sold me to? Would he come seeking payment?
And if Pippa’s right and I can’t trust Satin, I’d be on my own. Back at square one. Penniless and homeless.
In my hurt and confusion, tears start flowing. Angrily, I swipe them away. I shouldn’t even need to be thinking about running. Just a few moments ago, I thought I’d be staying here, with Fly…No, not my Flynn, now he’s back at the club, maybe it’s best I do only think of him as Rat.
He’d shown a different side of himself when we were stranded in that cabin.
I’d liked him so much that I’d started to think our marriage could be real.
But now, hearing how he uses women… It’s not even that I know he’s been with all the club girls, though Trixie was a surprise.
Had she been playing around before she was married?
Does Freak know? I suppose that’s none of my business.
Whatever, I’m more worried that all the women have given Rattler the very opposite of a glowing recommendation, and worse, had indicated in no uncertain terms, they’d prefer not to have to deal with him sexually anymore.
Does it sound like I’ve escaped a bullet? If I’d given my virginity to him, would I, too, have ended up disappointed?
Was that why he’d turned my advances down?
The very reason for our argument that last morning at the cabin.
Looking at it with the benefit of new information now, he probably didn’t want to put in the effort.
And rightly realised, being inexperienced, I wouldn’t have known how to pleasure him without at least some guidance.
I’m not that innocent, I know which part goes where, but how to touch a man, to know what he likes? I have no idea.
And I really don’t want to be with a man who treats women like things to be used and then discarded.
My eyes continue leaking, and I’m angry at myself. Why waste tears on a man who takes without giving? Maybe his past provides the explanation, but that’s not validation. Rat should have grown up by now.
I really liked him.
I’ve been blind.
I really thought we could build a future together.
But now it’s time to re-evaluate everything I know about him. And to take off those rose-coloured glasses I’ve been wearing.