Chapter 26
CHAPTER
TWENTY-SIX
Van
Last night was one of the most magical moments of my life.
I now get the difference between infatuation and deep-seated love.
We haven’t said that word to each other, at least not yet, but it’s what I’m feeling and I don’t want to hide it.
Not from him and not from anyone else. The day I met Rush, it’s as if the universe held out its hands with him cupped inside and said, “You deserve this after all the bullshit we’ve put you through. ”
Throughout breakfast, I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. The way he is with my son causes my heart to leap into my chest. He looks at him as if he’s his father and not a man who came into his life recently—the bond growing between them is beautiful and mesmerizing to watch.
“Hello,” Rush laughs, waving his hands in front of my face. “Earth to, Van. Where’d you go?”
“Just thinking about how lucky I am to have found you,” I admit, my face flaming with embarrassment. “Sorry, did you say something?”
“I did,” he conveys. “Several things as a matter of fact. But the most important question I posed was me asking if you’d like to take a tour with me of the property. I’d like you to be familiar with everything so you don’t get lost.”
“I’d like that. It’ll be good to stretch my legs after that long car ride yesterday,” I tell him.
“We also have a lot to talk about. You had questions after your talk with Zoey but we got distracted when we got back,” he says, his tone husky remembering what that distraction was.
“I do have questions,” I inform him. “But they don’t have to be answered all at one time.
We come from two different worlds, and it’s going to take some adjusting on my part to get used to all of this.
As long as you’re patient with me while I navigate my way through this new lifestyle, nothing is going to scare me away and make me run. I’m in this for the long haul, Rush.”
“Nothing?” he asks, cleaning the remnants of eggs off of Gagey’s face.
“As far as I’m concerned, yeah. Nothing.”
“That’s a pretty bold statement, Van.”
“It’s an honest one. I realized something last night, something important,” I state.
“Wanna share what that realization was?” The entire time he’s talking to me, he’s making silly faces at my boy causing him to laugh. It’s a symphony to my ears and momma heart. Once again, I’m flustered. “Van? Baby girl. You alright?”
My hands lift to my cheeks where I hold them in my palms to hide their pinkness. I’m not usually the one who loses track of her thoughts and is thunderstruck by another person so this is an entirely new endeavor for me. “I’m good, Rush. Happy.”
“And your happiness is the only thing that matters to me,” he promises. “I’ll make it my life’s mission to keep that dreamy look on your face.”
“Fuck, Rush. You say things that throw me for a loop. The way you treat me and are with my little guy, are things I thought were only written in fairytales. You are my prince.”
He chuckles before saying, “As long as you don’t prick your finger on a needle or eat a poisonous apple and fall into a comatose-like sleep, I’m good with that reference.”
“Let me slip my shoes on and then we can go for that tour,” I say, needing a minute to catch my breath.
“I’ll run upstairs and freshen little man’s diaper then we’ll meet you in the living room. Does his diaper bag have enough diapers for reinforcement?”
“Reinforcement,” I snicker. “I think that’s the best term I’ve heard for a blowout. Yeah, he’s stocked with everything we’ll need. Can you grab his sling out of his bag for me? I don’t want to push his stroller and it’s easier to carry him in that than in my arms.”
“Yeah, I’ll grab it but we’ll be doing a lot of walking so I’ll attach it to me.”
I feel like a broken record when I ask, “Are you sure? He may not seem like he weighs a lot, but when you have him strapped to your chest and are carting him around, you realize he’s heavier than he appears.”
“One day, you’ll come to understand that these shoulders can bear a lot of weight, baby girl. It’s a privilege, not a burden, for me to carry him.”
“Okay,” I blubber, tears forming in my eyes, hindering my sight. Not because I’m sad, but because he’s giving me memories to cherish.
“Van. Baby, don’t cry. Dammit, I didn’t mean to make you shed tears.” He lays Gagey on the floor where there’s a blanket spread out and hotfoots it over to me. Rush wraps his arms around me like bands of steel and tucks my head into his chest. “Did I say or do something wrong?”
“No, Rush. Everything you’ve said and done is perfect,” I mumble into his pecs.
“I think that’s the first time anyone’s used the word perfect when it comes to me,” he says, lightening the mood. “As long as you keep thinking that way, I’ll stay on that pedestal you’ve put me on.”
“Don’t get a bloated head, mister,” I say, pinching his side.
“Ouch, woman. You’ve got a mean pinch. Something you wanna tell me, like you’re part lobster?”
“I’m a mighty tasty morsel,” I tease, playing on his pun.
“Fuck yeah, you are,” he growls. “Best thing that’s ever hit my taste buds.”
“Alright, that’s enough of that,” I say, pushing him back. “We have little ears listening and you promised me a tour.”
He places a gentle kiss on my temple and releases me.
“I’ll be back in a flash.” As he turns away from me and heads toward our boy, I giggle because he’s adjusting himself in his jeans.
“Not funny, Van. I’m going to be walking around the compound with a hardon. Do you know how difficult that’ll be?”
“Like flying a tent? I know for a fact that you’re packing a long, thick pole.”
“Van! You can’t say shit like that to me and expect me not to react. That’s cold, woman.”
“Don’t worry, biker man. I’ll warm you up later.”
“Fuck,” he mumbles as he lifts Gage and high tails it out of the room.
As we walk beneath the fence that separates the clubhouse from the graveyard, I glance up at the gate and read King’s Cemetery and Mausoleum soldered into the metal overhead frame in fancy script.
The artistry is eerie but beautiful at the same time.
“So the crematorium isn’t inside the clubhouse?” I ask as we finish our trek through the cemetery and make it to the funeral home he and his club brothers own. “That’s the way I pictured it when we were talking before. So you all come here if the weather gets crazy?”
“When we have enough of a warning, yeah. We do have a bomb shelter underneath the clubhouse as well, it’s a new development and addition, but it’s still not as safe as it is here,” he tells me. “This is structurally more sound.”
“So when Zoey and I start stocking, we need to buy enough things for both places in case we can’t get here and the clubhouse is closer?
” I’m already mentally checking off things we’ll need to gather for Gage and Elodie in case the weather turns nasty.
Nine out of ten Texas towns aren’t known as Tornado Alley for the heck of it.
“That’d probably be for the best.” He unclasps his keys from his loop and unlocks the doors. As he steps inside, he turns off the alarm and waves me inside. “As you can see, this place is built for catastrophe.” He’s not wrong, this building is sturdy.
Turning in a circle, I take in the sights.
“I’m glad this place isn’t cold and sterile.
You’ve made it a comfortable place for families to mourn.
” Soft couches line the walls, plaques with beautiful sayings and poems honoring the ones lost, are hung fashionably—perfectly aligned.
Plants and flowers are sporadically positioned around the room, giving it a fragrant smell and aesthetic look.
It’s homey, which is an odd thing to think considering this is a place that is filled with sorrow and loss.
“Icer, Indiana, and I have offices here and at the clubhouse. During business hours, you can find us here unless there’s something club related we have to take care of. Zoey basically runs this place, we’re just the financial backers and faces of the operation,” he jest.
“I bet she keeps y’all on your toes. I’d take a gamble that y’all were never as organized as you are now with her running things from behind the scenes.”
“That’s a bet you’d win. Hands down,” he states. “Before she came onboard and joined the team, I thought we had everything in tip top shape, but I’ve seen the error of our ways. Maybe one day, I’ll convince you to join us, too.”
“Don’t count on it, Rush. The dead don’t bother me, but I don’t want it to become my day to day life, either. It’s too sad and I’m too empathetic. If my happy tears bother you, I’d hate for you to experience my grievous ones.”
“Enough said,” he grumbles. “I have something that’s been on ice waiting for me to deal with. That needs to be taken care of this afternoon. Do you want me to walk you back to the house, or do you want to go to the clubhouse?”
“Our things are supposed to be delivered in the next hour, so I think you should take me home, Rush.”
“I could get a prospect to meet the movers so you don’t have to deal with that,” he offers.
“I wouldn’t mind someone being there with me, but I would like to start unpacking our things so we could settle in. My anxiety would skyrocket if I put it off for another day.”
“Wouldn’t want that happening. I’ll get Serpent or Hazard to come assist you and watch over the movers. I don’t like strange men in my house unsupervised.”
“That’s why you want me at the clubhouse, isn’t it, Rush? Because there’ll be strange men there.”
“Yes,” he admits. “I don’t trust strangers around you without some sort of backup there to make sure they keep their mind on the job and not on you.”
“It would make me feel more comfortable with things if your men were there. Okay, ply me with muscle, biker man. They can do all the heavy lifting.” He winds his arm around my shoulder and tucks me into his side. I don’t need to hear those words of love and commitment, I can feel them.
I’m the luckiest woman in the world. I’ll never have any doubts when it comes to us.
Feeling ballsy, I express what I’ve been feeling. “I love you, Rush.”
He takes a moment, closes his eyes, and breathes in the fresh air.
Once he is composed, he opens his eyes and nearly bowls me over with the emotions he’s experiencing.
“I love you too, Savannah. I’ve never felt like this before, I’ve never said those words to another woman outside of my mom.
You have my heart, mind, and body for the rest of our days.
You are the best gift ever bestowed upon me.
Love isn’t a strong enough word to express how I feel about you, Van. ”
“Fuck, you undo me, Rush. Thank you for choosing me to say those words. I will cherish and protect that gift for the rest of my life.”
He kisses me. Possesses me. Claims me. I’m well and truly owned by this biker and don’t feel an ounce of shame for admitting that.
It’s both an honor and a privilege.