Property of Tank (Iron Shadows MC #5)

Prologue

Abby

“What do you think of this one?” I ask, holding a black dress up to my body.

Riley, Lila, Sunny, and Eli are sprawled across my room like a best friend invasion. I should feel overwhelmed.

Instead, I feel… numb.

“That’s the one,” Riley says.

“Yeah,” Lila nods. “It’ll look so good on you.”

I smile, looking down at the dress.

It’s plain. It’s simple. It’s safe.

“I don’t like it,” Eli says, shocking us all. “It’s not you. You don’t wear black. Ever. You literally design and create your own clothes, Abby. Why pick something that doesn’t feel like you?”

Because I don’t want to mess this up.

Because I don’t want to give anyone a reason to walk away.

Because I’m so tired of getting my heart handed back to me like a rejected return item.

“I just… I don’t want to mess things up,” I answer honestly.

“I get that,” he nods. “I do. But do you really want to meet someone while pretending to be someone else?”

No, I don’t. But what else can I do?

I’m not exactly normal. I’m littered with scars. Maybe not on the outside, but on the inside, they cover every inch of me. That’s not something I want anyone to see. The one person who does see that can’t stand being in the same room with me for more than a minute.

“You’re amazing just the way you are,” Eli says, moving to my closet and flipping through hangers with determined confidence.

“Here,” he says, handing me a dress I made ages ago but never wore. It’s a light pink, spaghetti-strap dress with a skirt made for twirling.

I designed this dress with Tank in mind.

I spent days hand-stitching every flower along the bottom of the skirt, a smile on my face and hope in my heart.

It was when I first arrived here at the compound a couple of years ago.

I thought for sure my feelings for Tank would have lessened since I hadn’t seen him in over a year, but the second my eyes landed on him, they amplified instead.

I saw it in his eyes, too. The interest. The pull.

I didn’t even meet Tank until after I was kidnapped by Los Fantasmas and my brother’s club, the Iron Shadows MC, came to rescue me. Tank wasn’t there when they pulled me out of that pit. He was somewhere else, leading a team to take out the men who took me.

I didn’t actually meet him for several days after that.

But something about him called to me.

Maybe it was his size…but Skip’s almost as big as Tank, and as hard as it is to believe, Maverick is even bigger. And I didn’t feel as safe with them as I did with Tank.

So it couldn’t have been that.

It was him…Just Tank.

But no matter the interest I saw in his eyes or the way his actions contradicted his words, he pushed me away every chance he got. Said I was too precious. Said I was too vulnerable after what happened.

Then, when I moved away to live with my other brother, Sammy, I tried calling Tank on nights I was too scared to sleep. I just needed to hear his voice. He would talk me down, tell me to go to bed… and then remind me that nothing could ever come of us talking because I was a club Princess.

The President’s sister.

Rejection after rejection after rejection.

Eventually, he stopped answering my calls…that’s when I stopped sleeping.

And still… when I first saw him again after Sammy brought me back to live with Bubby, I made this dress with the stupid thought that maybe…finally…he would give me a chance.

I wanted this to be the dress I wore on our first date.

Sighing, I shove the heartbreak back down and force myself to focus on the moment. I may not be wearing this dress for the reason I hoped, but I think I need to wear it anyway. My very first date with a man.

Even if nothing comes of it, maybe wearing this will help my stupid heart remember the truth:

Tank doesn’t want me.

So, I need to stop being so desperate. I need to stop being pathetic.

“Oh, Eli,” I sigh, trying not to cry. “It is me.”

“Exactly,” he smiles. “And if this guy doesn’t fall head over heels the second he sees you in this dress? He’s blind, and we shall mock him accordingly.”

I laugh, and some of the ache loosens in my chest. Eli’s good at that…knowing when I need to be pulled from my own thoughts.

“Yeah,” I whisper to myself. “This one. I’ll wear this one.”

Skip is waiting by the car when Eli and I leave my house. I was nervous about going on this date, so I asked Eli to tag along. Skip will be there too, of course. Eli’s been through a lot, and Skip won’t let him go anywhere without him.

I don’t mind, though.

“You look beautiful, Abby,” Skip says warmly. “I’ll be far enough away not to be seen, but close enough that I’ll be on you in seconds if anything feels off.”

“Thank you,” I smile. “But I’m keeping Eli next to me.”

“Understood,” Skip laughs.

The front door of a nearby house slams open.

“What the fuck is going on?” Tank growls as he steps out.

I freeze, taking a few slow breaths to calm my racing heart.

“I’m ready,” I say, doing everything I can not to look back at Tank.

“I asked you a question, Abigail,” he snaps, marching up to the car. “Where. Are. You. Going?”

Sighing, I turn and lift my chin as bravely as I can.

“I’m going on a date,” I say confidently. At least, I think I do. My legs are about to give out. Not because I’m afraid, but because this is it. This is me finally accepting the fact that there will never be a Tank and Abby.

“Spike knows,” I continue. “And Eli and Skip are tagging along.”

Tank’s jaw flexes. His eyes nearly turn black.

“You’re… what?” His voice dips dangerously.

“A date,” I repeat, trying my best not to cry. I look up into his eyes, and I feel the piece of my heart that belongs to him tear loose and float into his chest. I just hope there’s enough left to give to someone else. “Goodbye, Tank.”

I slide into the backseat before the tears fall.

“Abigail,” Tank growls. “Get out of that car.”

My hand reaches for the door handle… but I stop myself.

Everything in me wants to open it. To run into his arms. Even if he rejected me again, I want to take the pain out of his voice. I want to make it stop.

But I can’t.

I can’t live my life pining after a man who doesn’t want me. I can’t let him lock me away in some forbidden tower just because he doesn’t want anyone else to want me either.

“I’m right here,” Eli whispers. “You’re not alone. You’re safe. And you’re going to be okay.”

“Fucking idiot,” Skip mutters as he shuts Eli’s door. I watch through the window as he faces Tank head-on. “You had your chance, Tank. You had many chances. Move the hell back so I can take our Princess out to meet her motherfucking Prince.”

“I’m proud of you,” Eli whispers. “You put yourself first.”

I nod, even as my chest aches.

Because the truth…the awful, unfair truth…is that I love Tank.

I probably always will.

But loving him shouldn’t mean disappearing myself.

And as the compound fades behind us, I know one thing for certain:

I didn’t leave because I stopped loving him.

I left because I finally loved myself enough to see that I deserve to be loved back.

Loudly.

Proudly.

Boldly.

And without hesitation.