Chapter Four
Tank
“This one is from us,” Lila says, handing me a neatly wrapped box.
“Thanks,” I mutter, adding it to my pile. They all know I’ll open everything later. Christmas was never really my favorite holiday. No real reason…it just never meant much to me until this family came along.
“This is from me,” Bree says proudly. “It’s a rock I painted.”
I smile and open it right away so she can see. Bree claps her hands and launches herself at me, slamming into my chest with a hug way too fucking strong for such a tiny girl.
“I love it,” I tell her honestly, turning the painted rock over in my hands. “I’ll add it to my collection.”
Yep. Collection.
Bree keeps bringing me painted rocks, and every single one matters because she spent her time making them for me.
I look around at my family as gifts are handed out and torn open. It takes nearly three hours before everything is done, and it’s finally time to clean up.
I’m fucking exhausted.
Maverick announced late last night that he’d be leaving after the fundraiser, and Riley lost her damn mind. She didn’t want him missing Christmas, so Spike made the call last minute that we’d celebrate today, no matter how wiped out we all were.
The fundraiser had been for Harvest for the Hungry. They pour thousands into feeding families every year, especially around the holidays. Foster’s idea to host a carnival inside the compound turned out to be a massive success.
Still.
I’m beat.
“I’m heading to bed,” I announce once the trash is cleared. “Might not wake up for a couple days. Don’t freak out.”
“Wait,” someone calls.
Mike walks toward us carrying several bags, a prospect trailing behind him with even more.
“These are for you guys,” Mike says.
“You already gave us gifts,” Riley frowns.
“Yeah,” Mike replies sharply. “These aren’t from me. They’re from Abby.”
Abby.
Her name alone widens the hole in my chest.
I miss that fucking woman with every breath I take. I hated that she didn’t come tonight. I know it’s because she didn’t want to be near me anymore.
And I get it.
She loves me. I’ve pushed her away every chance I got. Being near me was tearing her apart, even if it gave me peace knowing she was safe and close.
It’s been months since I last saw her, and my heart can’t fucking take it.
I need her near me as much as I need to breathe.
I check the shop’s security footage sometimes just to make sure she’s okay. But I’ve stayed away. I gave her space to move on… even though I can’t.
“Why didn’t she come in?” Spike asks.
“She asked me why you were all celebrating today when she was told it wasn’t until tomorrow,” Mike says. “She only stopped by to drop these off so she’d have room for food tomorrow.”
“Oh no,” Riley whispers. “Please tell me someone told her.”
A sick feeling slams into my gut as I look around.
“Shit,” Eli says, pulling out his phone. “I didn’t even think to tell her.”
“Me either,” Sunny says, tears already spilling. “Everything was so last-minute.”
Spike’s face drains of color as it hits him.
“I thought she stayed away because she didn’t want to be near me,” I say hoarsely. “Are you telling me that not a single person here thought to tell her to get her ass over here?”
No one says a word. They just stand there looking guilty as fuck.
“She wasn’t on a single one of your minds?
” I ask slowly. “Because she’s fucking always on mine.
I didn’t reach out because she doesn’t want to hear from me.
I don’t go over there because she doesn’t want to fucking see me.
But please…tell me that at least one of you calls, texts, or visits her every single day.
Just one person. Every day. Tell me that. ”
“We talk to her,” Sunny says, crying against Bones’ cut. “In our group chat. Maybe not every day, but we do.”
“And we visit,” Eli adds, clearly on the edge of a panic attack. “Of course, we’ve all been busy lately, so the visits are short. But I just saw her last night… for about five minutes.”
“She always seems fine at work,” Lila says quietly. “I mean, I did take these past two weeks off. But she never stops smiling. It’s the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on her.”
“It’s fake,” I say, nausea rolling through me. “The bigger the smile, the bigger the lie. She’s fooling all of you, and not a single one of you saw it.”
Yeah. I’m fucking pissed.
“So what I’m hearing,” I continue, voice shaking with rage, “is that for the past month or so, Abigail…who was kidnapped and left alone in a fucking hole for three months…has been alone.”
My chest tightens.
“Did anyone even ask if she wanted to help with this fucking fundraiser? She would’ve loved this shit.”
“We told her everything was covered,” Riley whispers. “I didn’t want her to waste her time when everything was under control.”
“She asked us several times,” Eli says, his breathing finally slowing. “We’re horrible friends. When I wake up, we’re going over to her place.”
Seconds later, Eli collapses into Skip’s arms.
It won’t take him long to come around.
But I’m done waiting.
I pushed the woman I love away because I wasn’t…and never will be…good enough for her. I pushed her away to protect her.
And somehow, I pushed her away from her family, too.
I storm into my house, grab my keys, and race back out to my bike.
I’m done.
I was a fucking idiot to think distance would save her. If she feels even half as alone as I think she does, then she’s slipping back into the past. She won’t eat. She won’t sleep.
Why the fuck did I let her move out? Why the fuck did I push her away?
I may never be good enough for her, but there isn’t a soul alive who will ever love that woman the way I do.
I’m… fucking… done.
Abigail is mine. She always has been. I was just too fucking stupid to accept it.
“Where are you going?” Spike calls as I fire up my bike.
“To drop to my knees and beg for forgiveness,” I admit. “I’m bringing my woman back home.”
“Fucking finally,” Spike shouts. “We all have some groveling to do.”
Damn right they do.
But no one more than me.
I just hope she’ll forgive me and give us the chance she’s been asking me for, for years.