Chapter 34 Rowan
ROWAN
Amonth ago, the ranch had still smelled like smoke and ash.
Now, it smelled like fresh hay, new timber, and hope.
I leaned against the balcony railing, looking out over the land that was finally beginning to feel like home again. The sun was dipping low, painting the sky in streaks of orange and gold. The new paddocks stretched out below me, clean and sturdy.
Ready for my first group of kids to arrive in the morning.
My heart fluttered just thinking about it, a smile rising on my face.
The bunkhouse lights glowed softly in the distance. I’d just finished sending the new staff home after a full day of training, and every bed had been made, every saddle checked twice, every detail carefully prepared. Everything was ready.
And for the first time in what felt like forever, I was genuinely happy.
Then I heard it—the low rumble of a bike. Of his bike.
My heart leapt before I could stop it and I turned, already knowing it was him.
Tex rolled up the drive, the setting sun catching on the chrome of his bike. He killed the engine, swung his leg off, and pulled off his helmet.
And just like that, my breath caught.
The worn jeans, the black cut, the quiet confidence in the way he moved, like he owned the ground beneath his boots. His dark hair was slightly windswept, his jaw rough with stubble.
He looked up and caught me watching and a slow smile tugged at his mouth.
My stomach flipped and I headed downstairs to meet him, trying, and failing, to act casual.
“You’re just in time,” I said softly.
“For what?”
I lifted the bottle in my hand. “Sunset.”
“My favorite time,” he replied.
He followed me up to the balcony and we settled side by side, glasses in hand, watching the sky melt into dusk. For a while, neither of us spoke.
We didn’t need to. The quiet between us had become comfortable and familiar. This had become our routine. At least most nights when he wasn’t busy at the clubhouse with something. Though I had noticed he was spending more and more time here than there.
Tonight, though, something felt different.
He seemed quieter than usual, more distant, and finally he exhaled and turned to look at me.
“I’m heading outta town.”
My chest tightened. “Why?”
“Another chapter needs help,” he said.
I nodded, trying not to let the disappointment show. “When will you be back?”
He shrugged. “I’ll be a couple weeks, maybe longer. I don’t know for certain. Never do with these things.”
The thick silence stretched between us. I fought to find the right words to say to him but settled on nothing because nothing seemed right.
“I’d like to stay,” he finally admitted, and my heart began to pound.
“Then why don’t you?”
He stood up abruptly and rolled his shoulders. He ran a hand over the back of his neck. “I just… It doesn’t matter.”
He leaned against the railing and watched the sun settle over the fields without saying anything else.
“Tex”—I set my glass down—“please tell me.”
He hesitated and turned to face me. “Rowan, I don’t know what it is about you, but when I’m around you I can’t think straight.”
The words hit me like a shock.
He exhaled sharply, like once they started, he couldn’t stop them.
“And it’s crazy,” he continued. “I don’t do this. I’ve never felt like this before. Not with anyone.”
My heart pounded so hard it hurt.
“You make me want things I’ve never wanted before,” he went on quietly. “When I’m with you, you make me think about things I ain’t never thought about before. Like things could be possible.”
Emotions swirled in my chest and tightened my throat.
“But there’s no future here,” he added, shaking his head slightly. “You deserve better than a man like me. And I wish I was selfish so I could just say fuck it and take what I want, but when I think about you I know you deserve more, and I want more for you.”
“Tex,” I began, watching him as he paced back and forth
He gave a soft, humorless laugh. “It’s how I know I love you, Rowan Hale.”
He froze, like he hadn’t meant to say it out loud, and shock flickered across his sun-worn features.
“Hell…” he muttered, shaking his head. “I don’t know why I said that. I didn’t mean. I don’t know what I’m saying.”
“I love you too, Tex.”
The words slipped out before I could stop them, and he stopped pacing and looked at me in stunned silence.
“I don’t know how it could work,” I admitted, my voice soft but certain. “I don’t know what a future would look like for us, but I want it. Because I can’t imagine my life without you.”
My heart was racing.
Tex looked at me, his soulful brown eyes swallowing me whole, and I knew that I meant it. I loved him and I wanted him. I wanted a future with him. I wasn’t sure how it would work, or even if it could, but I knew I owed it to myself to at least try.
“Do you mean that?” he asked, and I nodded. “Rowan, I don’t know what kind of life I can give you, but I can promise you I’ll always be faithful. I’ll always be yours, at least until you don’t want me anymore.”
I stood up, setting my glass on the table, and I reached up, placing my hands on each side of his face so he would hold my gaze. “I want you, like I’ve never wanted any man before. Now will you kiss me?”
His gaze dropped to my mouth and back up. “If I kiss you, Rowan, it’s not gonna be casual.”
I felt my brows pull together. “What are you saying?”
“You’re it for me.” His eyes searched mine, something unreadable moving through them. Like he was trying to figure me out.
The world seemed to stop and neither of us moved.
“You’re it for me too,” I said, feeling almost shy as the words slipped out.
And then he kissed me.
It was instant and intense.
It was everything we’d both been holding back. We poured it all into that kiss. Weeks of tension, fear, longing, all breaking loose at once in a tumble of tongue and lips and gasps.
My hands slid into his hair as I kissed him back, my heart racing wildly.
He pulled me closer, his hands firm on my waist, and I jumped up instinctively, wrapping my legs around him, letting my body do the talking.
He caught me easily and deepened the kiss.
My breath caught as he carried me inside, our mouths and bodies never breaking contact. The world narrowed to just us, heat and need crashing together like a storm about to break apart.
Tex carried me upstairs and into my bedroom before laying me gently on the bed. And then our hands were searching for one another again. The kiss softened for a moment, moving slower and deeper, filled with something more than just desire. Something real.
Something neither of us had ever felt before.
And as the last light of the sunset faded outside, we finally stopped holding back.
Our bodies moved in sync, our hands pulling at each other’s clothing like there were only seconds to take them off before it was too late.
He stripped my body down to my panties and bra, his mouth moving against mine with practiced, confident swipes of his tongue, and I groaned, needing more.
It felt like I would never have enough of him.
Tex moved down my body, kissing and licking a trail of heat until he got to my breasts, where he reached underneath me, and with practiced fingers, flicked open my bra. He reached over and pulled it away, baring my chest to him.
His tongue flicked out to dart along his lower lip.
“Jesus, Rowan,” he said, his voice gravelly and filled with hunger. Leaning over, he cupped my breast in his hand and sucked a pink nipple into his mouth. I arched my back up into his touch.
“Tex,” I cried out as he swirled his tongue around my hard nipple over and over, driving me to distraction.
Desire hummed through me, every nerve coming alive under his touch.
His large hands reached down and tugged at my underwear, sliding them slowly down my thighs. My nipples were pink and hard, cooling now that the heat from his mouth wasn’t on them.
Pushing his own boxers down, his hard length sprung free and I swallowed at the sight of it. I felt a need like I’d never felt before, a desire twisting and turning in my lower belly.
“You’re sure?” he said, when my gaze moved back to his, and I blushed at having been caught staring at him.
I nodded. “Yes.”
“There’s no going back after this, Rowan,” he warned, and I wondered why he didn’t know how much he meant to me yet. Why was he still questioning any of this.
He was right, there was no going back. Not now, not ever, and I wouldn't have it any other way. We couldn’t stop this now even if we wanted to.
I sat up and moved to the edge of the bed. Looking up at him through my lashes, I took his hard length in my hand, feeling the heat of him against my palm. I leaned forward and opened my mouth and swirled my tongue around the very tip of him, tasting the salt of his cum.
My chest heaved with hunger and desire, need pooling between my legs and dampening the sheets beneath me.
“Fuck,” he groaned as I leaned forward and slowly pulled more of him into my mouth.
I guided him in deep, my throat tipped open so that every inch of him was wrapped in the warmth of my mouth, my tongue sliding along his hard shaft.
His hands went to my head and he held me still, hissing as he slowly thrust his hips back and forth.
It was fast and urgent, and yet it was a slow tease for both of us.
Every time he hit the back of my throat he’d slide himself back out, and I would suck harder on him, enjoying the sound of his groan.
Salty cum slid down the back of my throat, and I sucked in my cheeks, tightening the suction I had on him, wanting him to feel how much I enjoyed this.
Wanting him to know that I was doing this for me as well as him.
Tex’s knees trembled as he ground himself deeper into my mouth over and over, his cock hardening and throbbing, his need building and becoming more urgent.
He wrapped my hair in his hand and thrust into my hungry mouth faster, and when I looked up at him he was staring down at me, his pupils dark with want.
“Fuck, Rowan,” he hissed, and suddenly pulled himself all the way out of my mouth. He staggered back a step, like he needed the distance between us for a moment. I sat back, my chest heaving and nipples hard, and I swiped the back of my hand across my damp mouth and stared up at him with a smile.
“Will you fuck me now, cowboy?” I asked him, and a slow smile crawled up his face. “Or are you still unsure if I want this or not?”