14. Tank
14
TANK
“ H e thinks I did this,” Izzy cries, running her hands furiously through her hair as she cries, holding her face in her hands. It guts me to see her like this. I wish I had the power to take away her pain, but I can’t.
God, I feel completely torn between my allegiance to the club and my feelings for this woman.
“He’s right to be pissed, babe,” I say, watching her intently.
“I know!” she sighs, teetering on the edge of a breakdown. “I get it, okay? I fucking get it! I thought I was doing the right thing at first. I was trying to save Laina. You guys were the bad guys.”
“The bad guys?” I tilt my head to the side, incredulous.
“Don’t start acting innocent now, okay?” She collapses onto the couch. “It doesn’t matter now, does it? I can’t take it back. But I swear to God, I was only trying to help find Laina. I didn’t think Reynolds would go this far.”
“Izzy, you don’t need to convince me, alright?” I say, trying to calm her down.
“I’m not trying to convince you, Tank. I just…” Her words trail off, and her bottom lip begins to tremble. Shit. I fucking hate that she's crying.
“Aw, babe,” I say, at a loss for words.
It’s like my hands are bound behind my back. No part of me thinks she had anything to do with this attack, but Hawk is right. All of the evidence is pointing directly to her being involved. I drop down beside her.
Neither one of us utters a word in the still apartment for a moment, letting the weight of everything settle into our bones.
“Shit’s messy right now, okay? Hawk knows he invited you in, he let you stay here.” I finally say as I wrap my arms around her, bringing her to my chest. “He hasn’t kicked you out yet.”
She lets out a sigh as the tension in her back eases against me.
“I’m so fucked, aren’t I?” she mumbles.
“We’re all fucked, sweetheart. But we’ll figure something out. We always do.” Izzy's body leans against mine, her head resting on my chest, the steady rhythm of her breath matching the pounding of my heart. Her arms are wrapped around my waist, holding on like I’m the last solid thing in a world that’s spinning out of control. I tighten my grip on her, feeling the warmth of her skin through the thin fabric of her shirt.
Footsteps echo up the stairs as they approach. Based on the pattern of it, I know it’s Vance. I silently curse him for ruining my moment with Izzy.
I kiss her forehead.
“I’ll talk to Hawk for you, alright? I’ll help him cool down. There’s a lot happening right now, and unfortunately, you’re caught right in the eye of the storm. And it’s a hell of a nasty one.”
“Thanks. I owe you one.”
“You can pay me back later.” I smirk, cracking a lame attempt at a joke to lighten the mood.
She rolls her eyes at me. It’s not a smile, but it’s better than a frown.
The door creaks open, breaking the spell. I look up to see Vance standing in the doorway, his eyes locking onto us. There’s a flash of something raw in his gaze—pain, jealousy, annoyance.
He wants to be the one comforting her right now.
“Izzy, Tank,” he says, his voice strained, trying to sound casual but failing miserably. “Everything alright?”
Izzy pulls away from me slightly, but her hand lingers on my arm and her scent on my shirt after she pulls away. I'm immediately slammed with a pang of longing.
“You know it’s not,” I mutter.
A moment of tension stretches out between us, palpable and heavy. Izzy stands between us, caught in the crossfire of our intense gazes. Her eyes shift from Vance to me, sensing the simmering rivalry. Vance’s jaw tightens, and he takes another step closer, his presence a challenge.
“You sure you’re okay, Izzy?” Vance asks, his voice softening as he looks at her, but his eyes still flicker with a mix of concern and something deeper—something possessive.
She nods, her hand brushing mine in a way that sends a jolt of electricity through me. “Yeah, I’m okay. Thanks, Vance.”
His eyes darken slightly, and he steps back, giving us a final look that’s half warning, half resignation. “Good. Let’s get this over with. Hawk wants to meet.” As he walks out, I see the slump in his shoulders, the way his hands clenched into fists.
“It might be a while before we’re back,” I say to Izzy.
“I understand.”
She doesn’t say anything else, and I know Vance is lingering down the hall, probably straining to eavesdrop on our conversation. I start to head out, but Izzy’s hand catches mine.
“Hey, Tank,” she whispers.
“Yeah?”
“I’m going to fix this.”
She looks up at me, her eyes earnest, and I can’t help but notice how the dim light catches in her hair, making it shimmer like spun gold. I take in the sight of her, the way her curves fill out her jeans, the slight rise and fall of her chest as she breathes. How she chews on her lips, full and soft. She’s being strong, keeping it together when so many others would falter and it makes me want to protect her even more.
There’s more to the meaning of her words, but I don’t have time to pry, doubting she’d give me the full truth at a time like this.
“Stay safe, Izzy.”
I close the door behind me, and Vance and I head out into the night air, the cool breeze hitting my sweat-dampened skin like a thousand tiny pinpricks. The scent of pine mixes with the remnants of smoke. Vance walks beside me; his eyes are hard, but not unkind.
“You okay, brother?” I ask.
“I’m fine.”
“Really?”
He tilts his head back and his gray eyes flash.
“You can’t help yourself, can you?”
“The hell are you talking about?”
“You know damn well what I’m talking about. I saw you with her.”
I shrug, sporting a cocky grin on my face. “She needed comforting.”
“Bullshit!” Vance spits. “You had to make a move, couldn’t resist.”
“You’re acting like you caught me with my cock buried in her.”
“We don’t know what the hell’s going on with Izzy, so it might be for best if you stop thinking with that cock for a fucking second!”
“I know! I know that!” I run a hand down my face, frustration and lust coursing through me. “She just—you don’t actually think she meant any harm, do you? Do you really think she worked with the feds to fuck us over?”
Vance hesitates, and I can tell he’s weighing his words carefully. “No, but?—”
“But what?”
“I don't know, Tank. Something's off. You know it too.”
“Yeah, well, I’ll find out. Sooner or later.” I walk ahead of him. “Envy doesn’t look so good on you, bro,” I say as I shoulder past him.
He grabs my arm then, stopping me dead in my tracks.
“The hell did you just say to me?”
“Come the fuck on, Vance. Don’t act like you mean all business right now. Because at the end of the day, once we figure out what the hell’s going on and prove Izzy didn’t set us up, well, she’s going to pick one of us.”
“Look, we both care about her. That much is obvious. And she cares about us. Maybe we should talk to her. See what she wants. If she wants all of us… then maybe we can make it work.”
I blink, taken aback.
“The hell are you talking about?”
“We can share her.”
Vance has a point. The bond we all have is complicated, and if it means keeping her in our lives, maybe it’s worth considering.
“Like she’d want that.”
He shakes his head, cracking a smile. “You think the any of us are going to be okay, watching one of us have her all to yourself?”
“Fuck no.”
“So, what options do we have left?”
“I don’t know, Vance. I don’t know. But what I do know is that she means something to me, and if you think you’re going to take this away from me?—”
He nods, still gripping my arm. “I’m not. But it’s the only thing I can think of. Because if it comes down to it, Hawk will want her, and he’ll take her.”
“Oh? And what makes you so sure he’ll share her with us?”
“Because—” He pauses, weighing his next words. “I know the man he is, Tank. And it’s in his nature to share. Specially if it meant keeping the peace.”
My heart rate climbs into my throat, and I nod. “Fine. We’ll figure it out later. But for now, we need to find out what the fuck is going on with our girl.”
“So, we’re in agreement?”
I give him a smirk. “I suppose bikes aren’t the only thing we’ll ride together.”
He shakes his head, turning away from me. “Shut the hell up. Besides, it all depends on her. We have to let her decide. She may only want one of us.”
The tension in the clubhouse is thick enough to cut with a knife. The kind of tension that makes a man’s skin prickle and his mind race.
Hawk’s pacing in front of the gathered Hellfire Riders in the garage. The smell of smoke and burnt leaves still clings to our clothes. All I can think about is Izzy, and what Vance and I talked about right before the meeting.
The idea of sharing her never crossed my mind, but that’s me being possessive. We’d done it before with flings, chicks we’d pick up and take up to the apartment after a few drinks. There’s not a lot of space up there, so forget any privacy.
Of course, none of this will matter if Izzy has been playing us.
“There’s too much trouble on the horizon right now,” Hawk says, stopping his relentless pacing to face his top men. His eyes are blazing, and he looks like an animal on the edge. “And I want answers.”
The room falls silent. No one has them. Not yet anyway.
Finally, a voice calls out from the back of the room from the shadows.
“We want answers too.”
Gunnar stands from the bench he was planted on in the back corner. He saunters forward, taking his sweet ass time. Vance keeps his eyes downcast, running his finger along the blade of his knife—back and forth.
Gunnar’s tone doesn’t set well with me. It’s laced with something devious and poignant. He’d always struggled with the fact the club voted for Hawk over him, and he never backs down an opportunity to make himself look better.
“We want to talk about that thing you’ve been keeping here,” he says, his voice low and steady. “She shows up, and then our fields go up in flames. That’s too much of a coincidence.”
Hawk’s eyes narrow, as if he’s been expecting this. Though on a passing glance, they might all think he’s cool and collected, I know Hawk’s a volcano about to erupt. Gunnar better choose his next few words very carefully.
Gunnar glances around, gathering support before he continues. “She’s working with the police. She’s gotta be. It’s the only thing that makes sense. We can’t trust her.”
A few voices murmur in agreement around him.
Hawk’s angry, sure, but there’s something else there too—doubt. He’s torn between his instincts and the pressure from the crew.
“She’s with me,” he snaps, spitting the words like they taste bad on his tongue. “I brought here her, invited her to stay. She’s my responsibility.”
“Your responsibility? Or your weakness?” Gunnar sneers.
Blood pounds in my ears, and before I can think better of it, I’m up out of my chair. “You hold your fucking tongue!” I shout, striding towards him, but Hawk is quick.
Two steps and he’s between us, a hand on my bicep. His grip is like iron.
“Is that how you want to play this?” Gunner asks arrogantly. “Protecting her?”
“That’s enough.” Hawk’s voice is icy cold. “We’re all a bit on edge.”
Gunnar holds up his hands as if he’s admitting defeat. God—I want to punch him right in his rat-like face. Hawk releases me, but I don’t back down. Instead, I let my height do the talking, towering over Gunnar like a wall, daring him to fight me.
“Why are you so sure she’s the mole, Gunnar?” Vance asks, spinning the knife in his palm, around and around.
“She shows up, you’re distracted, Dead Demons are closing in and the police happen to burn our fields. Facts add up.”
“You seem awfully keen on getting rid of her. We’ve had issues before she showed up,” Hawk says.
Gunnar sneers. “I’m merely looking out for the club. Figure we could just cut our losses now and deal with her before she brings more heat down on us.”
Vance leans back, keeping his gaze zoned in on the steel.
“I don’t know a lot of feds that start a fire,” he mutters.
“No, but Reynolds plays dirty,” I say.
“He always has,” Hawk adds on, as he becomes lost in his own thoughts. I see the subtle shift in his features as he’s no longer listening to Gunnar but studying him like some kind of exhibit.
“Probably because she did it herself,” Gunnar hisses.
“Sit your ass down,” I growl under my breath, taking a step toward him. I’m just waiting for Hawk to give me the okay to bring this shit down to the ground where he belongs. He rolls his eyes at me, shaking his head.
“Sit. Down,” Hawk commands. Gunnar raises his hands in the air as though he’s done nothing wrong.
He returns to his seat, sinking back into the shadows of the garage’s corner.
“Something tells me we’ve got a bigger problem to deal with than this girl.” I mutter under his breath, my eyes snap onto Gunnar who opens his mouth to argue, but Hawk cuts him off with a sharp gesture.
“No more discussing, Izzy. Do you understand me?”
A murmur of agreement ripples through the room, though I can see the unease in their eyes. They’re worried, but most trust Hawk’s judgment. More importantly, they’re scared to defy our president.
For now.
The room seems smaller than usual, suffocating even.
After the meeting adjourns, the three of us are relieved to be out of the garage and under the wide star lit sky.
I light a joint outside, leaning against the wall.
“Fuck.” I suck in a lungful of smoke, hoping it will ease the tightness in my chest, but it doesn’t work.
“Give me a hit of that,” Hawk says, appearing at my side. Vance stands in his shadow, still mindlessly playing with his blade. Reluctantly I hand Hawk the joint.
His eyes are shadowed, the toll of the past days evident in the deep lines etched across his face.
“We’ve got a problem.”
“No shit,” Vance mutters, earning a sharp look from Hawk.
“There’s unrest, whispers. Someone’s trying to stir up trouble, and it’s making it damn hard to think straight with everything else going on.”
I cross my arms, leaning against the wall.
“You gotta be fucking kidding me,” I mutter.
“Wish I was, but my gut is telling me something’s off, but I can’t pin it down. And with the fields burning, Izzy’s situation, and the feds, I can’t afford to be wrong.”
“So, what’s your play?” I ask.
Hawk takes a long drag, exhaling a cloud of smoke. “We tighten ranks. No one gets in or out without my say so.”
“And Izzy?” Vance asks, his voice like gravel.
“The damn thorn in my ass.”
“I’ll keep an eye on her. She’s scared, but I don’t think she’s lying. Someone’s trying to make her look guilty,” I say, stepping forward.
“And put a cock in her,” Vance mutters.
“Jesus Christ, really?” I snap.
He winks with a dark smirk, snapping his blade back into his pocket. “Out of all of us, you break the quickest, and your dick clouds your judgment.” He points to my crotch then.
“Both of you can suck my cock,” I mutter. “I’m not the only one hard for this woman. At least I don’t pretend to be above it.”
Hawk glares us both down, his voice icy cold.
“Settle down, you two. We’re on the same damn side here. We don’t know if Izzy is involved with this or not, so don’t do anything stupid, alright?”
“My gut says she doesn’t have the balls for this shit,” I say, folding my arms.
“And your gut’s never been wrong before,” Vance drawls.
“Hey, none of you can stand here and tell me you don’t feel the same way. Because if any of us thought she was lying we wouldn’t be protecting her,” Hawk says then.
Neither one of us says a word as we stand outside. The wind whispers through the tall redwoods overhead, carrying with it a cool breeze.
“If we figure this out, Vance says he wants to share Izzy,” I confess. Hawk’s brows pull together, and he lets out a sharp, breathy laugh.
“Did you two shitheads figure out dibs wasn’t going to work on a girl like her?” he asks.
“I honestly have no idea what the hell’s going on,” I say, taking my joint back and giving it another long hit. “I just want it to be over.”
“We wait, we see what the next move is. There has to be another coming soon. Keep an eye on everyone in this goddamn place. It’s a game of chess and they think they’re about to wipe the board. We can’t lose. The two of you are the only ones I can trust right now. I need you to keep it together,” Hawk says. “Do you understand me?”
“What about you?” Vance asks. “You need to take care of yourself too. We can’t afford to have you burning out.”
Hawk’s lips twitch in a humorless smile. “Don’t worry about me. Just focus on keeping this club together. We’ve got too much at stake to let it fall apart now. Losing three acres set us back, but it’s not permanent damage. Not by a long shot.”
Vance and I make our way back to the apartment, leaving Hawk at his workshop.
Each step feels heavier than the last, and the silence around us only amplifies the anxiety gnawing at my gut. Hawk's warnings echo in my mind. We can't afford any more slip-ups.
Vance glances at me, his worry mirroring my own.
I push open the door to the apartment, my senses on high alert. The place is dim, the early moon light filtering through the curtains casting long shadows across the floor. I step inside, calling out her name softly. "Izzy?"
No response.
Fuck me.
The uneasy feeling intensifies as we move through the apartment, checking each room—all empty. My pulse quickens. This can't be happening again. If Hawk finds out she's gone, he's going to lose his mind, and the fragile thread of trust we've managed to maintain will snap.
Vance curses under his breath. “Why the hell would she leave?”
“Before I left her, she told me she was going to fix this,” I say. “I don’t know what the hell that means, but I think Izzy might be headed down a dangerous path.”