Chapter Eleven #2
The story pours out in fragments, a schoolteacher in 1497 San Francisco.
A woman who saw him for what he was and loved him anyway.
Six months of stolen moments and careful feeding before the bond started taking its toll.
Her body wasting away despite his attempts to feed less, to break the connection, to save her.
“She died in my arms,” he says, his voice barely more than a whisper. “And her last words were ‘it was worth it.’ Like dying for me was some kind of privilege.”
The grief through the bond is crushing. Old and deep and never fully healed. And underneath it, something else—shame. Self-loathing. The absolute conviction that he’s a monster who destroys everything he touches.
“That’s why you have your rules,” I realize. “Never feed from me. Never touch more than necessary. Never fully claim me.”
“Rules I’ve already broken.” His smile is bitter. “Every single one of them. And now you’re tied to me, and I don’t know how to keep you safe from myself.”
I should be terrified and running for the door, never looking back. But instead, I step closer until we’re inches apart.
“Let me ask you something,” I say. “Did Catherine know the risks?”
“Yes, but—”
“Did you force the bond on her?”
“Of course not, I—”
“Did you try to save her?”
His eyes close. “Every day. Every fucking day, I tried. But it wasn’t enough. I wasn’t strong enough to resist her, and she wasn’t strong enough to survive me.”
“Then it wasn’t your fault.” I place my hand on his chest, feeling the cold of him through his shirt. “She chose you. She knew what might happen and chose you anyway. Just like I did.”
His hands come up to frame my face, and his eyes search mine desperately. “Tessa, you don’t understand. The bond is cumulative. The more I feed, the stronger it gets. Eventually, it won’t matter how careful I am. I’ll take too much, and you’ll—”
“Then we don’t let it get that far.” I lean into his touch. “We figure out how to manage it. We set boundaries. We—”
“There are no boundaries!” His voice cracks. “That’s what you’re not getting. The bond doesn’t care about boundaries. It doesn’t care about rules or good intentions or how much I want to protect you. It just takes.”
“Then we’ll find a way to break it.”
“You can’t break a blood bond.” His laugh is hollow. “That’s the whole point. Once it’s forged, it’s permanent. The only way to end it is death.”
The words hang between us, final and damning.
“So what?” I say finally. “You’re just going to push me away? Pretend this connection doesn’t exist? Spend however long we have left treating me like I’m made of glass?”
“Yes.” His voice is firm. “Because the alternative is watching you die, and I can’t—I won’t—”
“You don’t get to make that choice for me.” Anger flares hot in my chest. “I’m not Catherine. I’m not some fragile thing that needs you to protect me from yourself. I made a choice back there, Vex. I chose to give you my blood. I chose to forge this bond. And I’m choosing right now to stay.”
“You’re choosing to die.”
“Maybe.” I step even closer, until our bodies are almost touching. “Or maybe I’m choosing to live. Really live, for the first time in my life. Because running from danger, hiding from monsters, trying to stay safe, it’s not living. That’s just... existing.”
His hands are shaking where they rest on my face. “You’re going to regret this.”
“Probably.” I smile slightly. “But I’d rather regret taking a risk than regret never trying at all.”
“Tessa—”
“I choose you,” I say, the words fierce and final. “Monster and all. Fangs and danger and blood bonds and whatever else comes with this insane life. I choose you, Vex.”
Something in him breaks.
His mouth crashes down on mine, and this kiss is different from all the others. Not desperate like in the garage. Not gentle like in his bed. This is claiming. This is a vampire finally giving in to what he wants, consequences be damned.
His hands slide into my hair, tilting my head back to deepen the kiss, and I open for him without hesitation. His tongue sweeps into my mouth, cool and demanding, and I can taste winter and darkness and him.
My hands fist in his shirt, pulling him closer, and he growls, the sound vibrating through his chest and into mine. The bond flares to life between us, emotions bleeding back and forth in waves that make my head spin.
His desire. My need. His fear. My certainty. All of it tangled together until I can’t tell where he ends and I begin.
When he finally pulls back, we’re both breathing hard. His eyes are white, glowing softly in the dim room, and his fangs are fully extended. He looks feral. Dangerous. Like the monster he keeps insisting he is.
But he’s also trembling. And the emotion pouring through the bond is so intense it makes my chest ache.
Love.
He loves me.
And he’s terrified of it.
“I can’t promise I won’t hurt you,” he says, his voice rough. “I can’t promise the bond won’t kill you. I can’t promise anything except that I’ll try. I’ll try so fucking hard to keep you safe, even from myself.”
“That’s all I’m asking.” I cup his face, thumb stroking his cheekbone. “Just try. And let me try too. Let me be part of this instead of something you’re protecting.”
His eyes search mine for a long moment. Then, slowly, he nods.
“Okay,” he whispers. “Okay.”
He kisses me again, as though he’s memorizing the taste of me, the feel of me, the miracle I’m choosing him despite everything.
When we break apart, his eyes have faded back to dark, and his fangs have retracted. He rests his forehead against mine, and we stand there, breathing each other in, connected in ways that go far beyond the physical.
“What happens now?” I ask quietly.
“Now?” His smile is sad. “Now we figure out how to survive this. Together.”
“Together,” I echo.
And as we stand there in his room, the bond humming between us like a living thing, I realize something that should terrify me but doesn’t.
I’m not afraid anymore.
Not of the Khorvath. Not of the mark. Not even of this connection that could kill me.
Because for the first time in my life, I’m not running from danger.
I’m choosing it.
And whatever comes next, whatever hell the universe decides to throw at us, I’ll face it with a vampire at my side and a blood bond tying us together.