Chapter 17
LUCY
When Zombie walked out of my condo the morning after we slept together, he said he’d be busy with club business but would be in touch. That was two days ago, and I haven’t heard from him. I’ve wanted to reach out but have talked myself out of texting or calling at least a dozen times.
If not more.
As I rummage through my kitchen, I realize I haven’t gone grocery shopping in a few weeks and decide to put my big girl panties on and go. I grab a quick shower and dress in leggings, a hoodie, and tennis shoes.
The store is fairly busy, so I keep my head down as I push the cart through the aisles. By the time I’m ready to check out, my stomach is growling, and I’m hyper aware of the money I’m going to fork over simply because I decided to shop while hungry.
My cell vibrates in my pocket while I’m putting everything away back home, so I ignore it. It’s not until an hour later, when it vibrates again, that I remember to check my phone.
Lion’s Den Fuck: You haven’t called
I smile at the text from Zombie and the nickname I gave him. Grabbing the bag of white cheddar cheese curls from the counter, I head into the living room and flop onto the couch before responding.
Me: Hello to you too
Lion’s Den Fuck: sorry… hi
Me: Hi
Munching on my snack, I snuggle under a throw blanket and stare at the bouncing bubbles on my cell’s screen. After what feels like an eternity, Zombie’s response pops up.
Lion’s Den Fuck: Like I said, you haven’t called. Why?
Me: Been a little busy, ya know, with work and shit
Lion’s Den Fuck: and shit ???
Rolling my eyes, I try to think of something snarky to say, but my mind is blank. Instead, I decide to dive into some concerns that I have now that Carolyn and I are done with the last file cabinet of Dr. Binks.
Me: So…
Me: What else did Dr. Binks do for the club that you haven’t told me about?
Me: Why do some of his charts have notes about large ‘snacks’ given after hours?
Lion’s Den Fuck: Someone’s been busy
Me: That’s not an answer
Lion’s Den Fuck: No, it’s not.
Me: Well…
No dots appear to indicate that he’s replying, and after ten minutes of waiting, I get annoyed and toss my cell onto the cushion beside me.
I turn on the TV and flip through the streaming apps in an effort to find something to watch that’ll take my mind off of him and his lack of response.
I settle on Tiger King and ignore the voice in my head telling me my selection is twisted considering the notes I discovered.
When Zombie told me what he would’ve done if I hadn’t agreed to help him and the Kings of Anarchy, I was surprised, but I accepted it. He was honest, and that matters to me.
But if he thinks I’m going to sit around and wait for him like some love-sick schoolgirl, fuck that.
Just as episode three begins, there’s a knock on my door which startles me. Not in the mood to socialize, I ignore it, even as it becomes more persistent.
“C’mon, babydoll, let me in.”
Zombie?
Jumping to my feet, I rush to the door. Before I open it, I take a deep breath and do my best to adopt a pissed off expression.
“What’re you doing here?” I demand.
He arches a brow and smirks. “You asked me a question.”
“Yeah, I did. What are y—”
“No, not that,” he says with exasperation. “Before, when we were texting.”
My eyes widen. “That was like two hours ago.”
“I know, and I’m sorry. I was in the middle of—” He presses his lips together as if he was about to reveal state secrets. “Something and got here as fast as I could.”
“You got here as…” I repeat incredulously as I shake my head and step aside. “Might as well come on in.”
I’m just flipping the deadbolt when I’m spun around and pinned to the door. Zombie lowers his head and traces the seam of my mouth with his tongue. When he tries to pry my lips apart, I open for him. He steps closer, aligning his body with mine, and I whimper.
“Goddamn, Lucy,” he whispers against my lips.
Giving into the sensations rolling through me would be as easy as breathing, but I manage to come to my senses and push him away.
“No.” I shove my way past him to return to my couch.
“No?”
He sits on the opposite end of the sofa, bending a leg so he’s sideways and facing me. I pause the show that continues to play on the TV and sigh.
“Yeah, no,” I say. “I asked you some important questions, and you left me on ‘read’. Then you show up here and think that kissing me senseless is going to make up—”
“Senseless, huh?” When I lift the remote, fully prepared to throw it at his head, he raises his hands. “Okay, sorry. Again.”
“Sorry isn’t going to cut it,” I snap. “I don’t know what you expect from me, Zombie.
I get that you need my help for whatever the hell it is that your club does, but you also want to screw me and sleep over.
Am I a business associate, a girlfriend, a fuck buddy?
Are you banging other girls while you’re with me?
Do you want me because you need me or do you need me because you want me?
You say you’ll call, but you don’t. You kiss me like you have every right to, but you don’t.
You admit that you’d destroy my life if I don’t cooperate with what the club needs, but what about my needs?
I’m not a chess piece sitting on a board that you can just move around on a whim whenever you feel like it. I don’t work like that. I’m—”
“Are you gonna let me talk?” he interrupts. “Or am I supposed to just sit here and take your verbal lashing? Cause I gotta say, babydoll, I’m not a fan.”
Pulling a throw pillow from behind me, I bring it to my front like a piece of armor. “Go ahead, talk.”
“First, let’s get the title out of the way,” he says, and he scoots closer to me to grab the pillow and toss it to the floor before lacing his fingers with mine. “Mine. That’s your title. You’re mine, and I’m yours. And as long as we’re together, there is no one else.”
Frantically, I shake my head. “We don’t even know each other. And I’m not some toy you can pull out of a box and claim. I’m a person, not a possession.”
Zombie shrugs nonchalantly. “Fine. You’re not a toy. And yes, you’re a person. But you’re still mine. As for us not knowing each other… We can fix that, although I’m sure that it won’t change anything for me.”
“How can you be sure?”
“Because, babydoll, I know everything I need to know.”
“Oh, yeah? Like what?”
“You’re beautiful and smart. No way you’d have been able to land Dr. Binks’ job otherwise.
” He smiles, and dammit, my panties start to melt.
“You’re dedicated to your job and the animals you treat.
Hell, they’re not just animals to you. You love them, have bonded with them.
No way you’d be able to do what you do in such close proximity if that weren’t the case.
” He punctuates that statement with a smirk, and then he glances around my condo.
“You’ve got family, but you’re not close with them.
The limited number of photos tells me that.
You love them, though, otherwise you wouldn’t have any family pictures.
You’ve never once bragged about your educational accomplishments, but you’re proud of them and display evidence of them on the walls in your office.
You don’t let people get close to you, at least not often.
If you did, I wouldn’t have been the first man in your bed.
You’re too passionate and self-aware to deny yourself sex, so it’s not because you’re celibate that guys haven’t been here. Shall I continue?”
Shocked by his words, by his observations and assessment of me, I nibble on my bottom lip for a moment so I can gather my thoughts. “No,” I finally reply.
He nods. “Okay, good. Now, second… There isn’t anyone else.
I’m not gonna lie and say that I haven’t tried because God knows I did.
Try, that is. But from the moment I laid eyes on you, I was ruined for any other woman.
Don’t ask me to explain it because I can’t.
I saw you and had to have you. The second I climbed over the fence and stepped in between you and Michael, I was a goner.
” Zombie reaches out and rubs a thumb over the apple of my cheek.
“Your face was flushed, and you had your hand between your legs. Fuckin’ hell, you were gorgeous and so damn vulnerable. ”
“I was horny,” I protest. “Horny and desperate to feel something other than nerves about the speech I had to give that night.”
“Hates public speaking,” he says. “I’ll add it to the list of things I’m learning about you.”
I can’t help but chuckle. “Fine, you’ve claimed me. I’m not saying I’m okay with it or that I’m even going to see you again after today. I need some answers about the other stuff first.”
Releasing me, Zombie stands and begins to pace. “You’re right, I left you on ‘read’ earlier. I can’t give you details, so please don’t ask for them. Just know that I was knee deep in club shit that required my full attention.”
“Club business?” I ask.
“I can’t talk about it, Lucy,” he says, and his tone bleeds with pain. “I want to, believe me. I want to share everything with you, but I can’t. It’s one of the most basic rules of an MC. Sometimes it sucks, but it’s a rule for a reason.”
Genuinely curious, I ask, “What’s the reason?”
“There are a few, actually, but two that are the most important. I can’t discuss club business with you because what you don’t know can’t hurt you or be used against us.”
“And the second most important reason?” I prod.
“Keeping you safe. The less you know, the less of a target you are for our enemies.”
I contemplate what he’s saying. Sure, it’s kinda chauvinistic, and I’m not crazy about being kept in the dark, but I can understand why they enforce the rule. And in some weird way, it’s… sweet.
“Okay.”
He halts and locks eyes with me. “Okay?”
“Yeah, okay. I get it, I guess. Enough that I won’t push the issue, anyway.”
He releases a breath, and I realize that he was worried about how I’d react to his explanation.