CHAPTER SIX #2
I cut off its head. Its body stiffened beneath mine, then collapsed as I turned back to the lake, desperately trying to stave off a bout of dizziness.
I hadn’t shifted like this in years, and it was finally taking its toll.
I didn’t have to reach for my reserves yet.
But the power that remained within me couldn’t be wasted. I had to make it count.
The sword retracted, my hands human again. I raised them above my head, pressed my palms together as I took a long, deep breath, filling my lungs. Then I dove into the lake.
The cold nearly knocked me out as ice stabbed at my body.
Until I shifted. My legs fused together as blue scales appeared on my waist and rushed down the length of my legs.
My feet turned out and shifted into fins.
Within an instant, the cold left my mermaid body, and air filled my lungs, my eyes opening wide to see before me.
I swam, my tail swishing as I descended further into the depths of the lake. With no sign of Brennan, I plunged deeper, and deeper, until I was starting to panic. Energetically, I couldn’t hold this form much longer. And Brennan wouldn’t survive if I didn’t find him quickly.
I could see the bottom of the lake, and still no sign of him. So I turned until something drew my eye—an overgrowth of pondweed. I started tearing at the greens, ripping them apart, pushing my way through them until I spotted a pale face, its eyes closed, beneath brown hair.
Brennan!
He was trapped, his leg caught in the weeds.
I rushed at him, tearing at anything floating between us, ripping him free, and pulling his entire body against mine. He was so cold, so still. Gods, how long had he gone without breathing?
I pulled his face to mine, and sealed my mouth over his nose and lips, then secured my other hand at his waist. With a kick of my fins, I started shooting upward, swimming to the surface as I desperately pushed air into his mouth, breathing for the both of us.
I breathed and prayed and pushed, until I could see the moon through the lake’s surface.
With a gasp, I broke free of the waters, practically flying from the lake onto the shore. I laid Brennan out on his back, rolling my body over his, still breathing into him. My fins divided into feet and legs, my scales vanishing into skin, then pants, my mermaid body replaced by my human form.
Ice-cold shivers wracked through me with a sudden, shocking violence. But I continued to breathe into Brennan before I pulled back, pushing my hands against his chest.
Nothing. Nothing was happening.
“Brennan, come on. Come on! Breathe! Breathe!” I cried, as I pushed down, my hands pulsing over his heart.
Again I sealed my lips over his mouth, breathing into him. For him.
Breathe, I begged silently. Breathe. Please. I didn’t mean to do it. Didn’t mean to take so much from you. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.
I saw my mother again, her eyes closing. Take it. Take as much as you need.
My eyes stung with tears.
Not again. I couldn’t do this again. Couldn’t lose someone else. Even him.
I shuddered another desperate breath into Brennan’s mouth, begging the Gods. Pleading to any old or new who would listen. Orsete, Kavrir. Even Batrir, the God of strife and suffering. I would take anyone’s help I could find.
When my mouth returned to his again, he shifted suddenly, moving beneath me. His lips began to move, slowly and languidly against mine. Almost like a kiss. Almost.
Then he turned his head away, the movement sharp as he coughed, spitting lake water onto the grass. His hands pushed into the damp ground, his knuckles turning white. He coughed again, violently, before his chest heaved, lifting and falling in rapid succession as he sputtered.
“Brennan!” I shouted. “You’re okay?”
He gasped, taking a few more shaky breaths before he nodded weakly and lay back down. “I’m okay,” he said, his voice weak. His eyes were still closed. “Are … you?” He sounded like he was in pain. And so, so tired.
“I’m fine,” I said quickly. “I’m worried about you. Are you sure you’re alright?”
“I think so.” He coughed again. “It’s dead? The chimera?”
I shook my head. “It’s dead.”
He nodded slowly, his lips quivering. “By the Gods,” he said, his voice full of sadness. “I thought I’d drowned.”
“I pulled you out. It’s over now. I promise. You’re safe.”
He squeezed his eyes, though they remained closed. Tears gathered in the corners, and I sat forward, taking his hand in mine.
“Brennan.”
“Drowned,” he said, looking stunned before finally opening his eyes, cloudy and confused as they met mine.
“And here, I thought…” His chest heaved, his movements heavy and labored as he placed his hand over his heart.
“I thought we’d agreed … that I …” He sucked in a breath and shuddered. “That I was coming back to save you.”
I laughed, tears blurring my vision. “Well, change of plans.”
“You did tell me,” he coughed again, “that you would keep surprising me.”
“I did, and like you, I’m keeping my word.”
He rubbed his hand over his eyes and stared up at the moon as if in a daze, shivers wracking through his body.
Then he propped himself up onto his elbows, shaking lake water from his hair.
His gaze met mine, and he paled, fear washing over him, his mouth opening.
He pulled his hand from mine. “I—who—what?”
I frowned, my entire body on alert. “What happened? Brennan, what is it?”
I looked over my shoulder, frantic to find the threat. Another chimera? But there was nothing there. Just the field, the trees. Birds chittering in the distance.
“You—you!” he stammered. And suddenly his emotions for me poured out of him with such strength and ferocity that I wasn’t just feeding from him, or hearing his thoughts. I was in his head, seeing through his eyes.
Seeing me. Seeing exactly how I looked at that moment.
And what I saw left me cold. Because the girl before him wasn’t the one he’d just met. She wasn’t the dancer from Geoffrey’s, or the whore who took him upstairs. She didn’t have brown curly hair or possess any of the curves or features I’d so carefully cultivated and maintained the last two years.
Who he saw before him was the real me. Princess Samara.
No. Princess Shamhira. The first daughter of the Witch Queen of Azeal. It was she who sat before Brennan, wearing my soaking-wet black tunic and pants, sitting exactly where I sat.
Somehow, Brennan was staring at a face he’d never seen.
A face I hadn’t seen myself in seven years.
Not since I was twenty. My skin was pale, almost translucent.
My eyes were ice blue, with thick brows, rounder eyes than I’d been wearing the last few years.
Rounder cheeks, too. Full and pink with the flush of everything that had just happened.
And my hair, Gods, I’d forgotten. My hair was straight, a pale honey blonde, soaking in thick, wet strands over my shoulders.
No. No! It wasn’t possible. I wasn’t drained—I was close, but I wasn’t there yet. If I’d shifted back to my original form, I would have felt it. I would know.
I pulled myself back from his mind and looked down at my hands, at my hair, straggly and soaking wet across my chest. It was still chestnut brown and curling. And while my skin was pale with cold, it was still far more tan than my birth body had ever been.
I shifted closer to the lake’s edge, using the moonlight to see my reflection. I was right. I was still Samara the dancer, still the girl he’d just met. My power wasn’t gone. Only weakened. Yet my chosen form remained.
So how the hell had he seen my real face?
Brennan blinked rapidly, shaking his head like he’d just woken up. His feelings of fear and confusion seemed to fade, and his eyes widened.
“I—I’m … Sorry,” he whispered. “I …” He frowned, taking several rapid breaths as if he wanted to remind himself that he could. “I think I—passed out for a second.”
“But you’re okay now?” I asked.
“Thanks to you. You saved me,” he said. “You killed the chimera. How?”
“The eyes are its weakest point. But its heads hold its strength,” I said. “You have to destroy all of the heads first—or you’ll never defeat it.”
He took a deep breath. “And you were able to do that.”
I nodded, my stomach turning.
“You changed,” he said. “I thought I dreamt it. But you did. You—you shapeshifted.”
My heart thundered. It was on the edge of his mind. He was putting the pieces together. About to see it, to say it, to understand.
Demonos. Witch. Azete.
And the minute he did, the minute he was awake enough to make the final connection, his feelings for me would end. Just like everyone else I’d ever known.
I sat back, listening as birds chirped in the distance. Robins. The threat was over. And there was more—voices were calling out Brennan’s name.
Rowan and Kienan. They were just catching up to us now.
“Samara?” Brennan asked, taking no notice of his friends.
“I have to go,” I said.
“No. Please. Tell me the truth. Are you—?”
I shook my head. “Don’t. Don’t ask that of me. Please.”
“But—”
Kienan and Rowan appeared at the edge of the clearing.
And all I could imagine was the three of them putting the pieces together, taking hold of me in my weakened state.
Being brought before King Tirian, sealed into a box.
With how low my reserves were, I would shift to my original form long before the seven days were up.
Under no circumstances could I let that happen.
My job here was done. The chimera were dead, and Brennan was safe.
“Don’t worry,” I told him. “You’re going to be okay, I swear.
” I squeezed his hand. He squeezed mine back, his thumb running over my skin.
A slight warmth moved through me. But there was no magic behind it.
Just the feel of his own body slowly regaining heat.
“Your friends are here.” I pulled back from his grip, inching back to the lake.
He knew. He knew what I was. And he was going to hate me for it.
“I have to go.”
“Samara?” he asked, reaching out for me. “Samara, wait!”