Chapter 25
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
The Ranch
I left my friends sitting by the campfire and went inside to find Brooks, but he was nowhere to be found.
“He went on a night ride with Cas and Declan,” Muddy said from her crochet chair. “Seems like the three of them needed to clear their heads after that dinner.”
I came fully into the den and took a seat on the couch. “It was kind of epic.”
Muddy smiled. “I was going to say dramatic, but epic works too. Hadley? Salem?”
“Still out by the fire. I kind of verbally kicked their butts,” I admitted.
“Did you?” Muddy asked. “About what?”
“Mr. Powell’s reaction wasn’t out of bounds when he heard about Salem’s wedding. Or lack thereof.”
“That’s Salem for you,” Muddy said. “Do first, think later.”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “I know why she did it. But on the other hand, I know why we’re all upset.”
“I’m not upset,” Muddy said.
“No?”
“No.” Muddy looked at me. “The fact that Salem moved back home is a miracle. The fact that she’s settling in and is finally happy is also a miracle. What’s a wedding? It’s one day. One day in a lifetime. It doesn’t really matter in the long run. Family does.”
“Family that didn’t get to celebrate with her. Friends that didn’t get to celebrate with her, either.”
“Do you think Hadley’s wedding was just for Hadley?” Muddy asked.
I frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Hadley knew her sister would never go through all of that. Her wedding date was their mother’s birthday . . . that was just as much about honoring Kathleen as it was for Salem. So Salem could have some sweet with the bitter.”
I peered at her. “I’ve never known anyone like you, Muddy.”
“Thank you, sugar.” Muddy smiled. “Brooks actually came to dinner tonight. Surprising . . .”
I raised my brows. “You told him to come.”
“I thought he’d make an excuse not to.” She set her crochet hook down so she could reach for the glass of brandy on the end table next to her chair. “It might take him a few times before he warms up, but we’ll work on him.”
“Warmed up enough to announce to the entire room his intentions,” I said. “With me.”
“Him coming to dinner was announcement enough. Connor just wanted to make sure you knew you were family and that he’s looking out for you too.”
“I appreciate it, actually,” I said with a sardonic laugh. “I can’t imagine my own father doing that.”
The words had slipped from my mouth of their own accord, and I desperately wanted to pull them back in.
But Muddy didn’t respond, as if she already knew I didn’t want to talk about it.
“So, are you excited for your new grandbaby?” I asked.
“Ecstatic.” She held up her crochet project. “I’ve been working on this for about a week. That’s when I knew Jane was pregnant.”
“How do you know everything before everyone else?” I demanded with a laugh. “Do you read tarot cards or something?”
Her hazel eyes, the same shade as Salem’s, twinkled with amusement. “Don’t need to. The thing is, so few people actually pay attention to anything going on around them. That’s the secret, Poet. Watch. Just watch. You’ll be amazed by how much you learn just from watching people closely.”
“Okay, fair,” I allowed. “But you also have a gift.”
She inclined her head in acknowledgment and turned her attention back to her project.
The front door opened and a moment later Cas and Declan walked into the den.
“Our wives?” Declan asked.
“Talking by the campfire. Where’s Brooks?” I asked, peering behind them, hoping to see my cowboy.
“He’s on the front porch,” Cas said. “He needs some alone time. He’s like that a lot.”
I frowned. “Is he? Huh. I hadn’t noticed.”
Cas and Declan exchanged an amused look.
“What?” I demanded.
“He invited you into his mental man-cave, sugar,” Muddy explained.
“Strangest fucking thing, too,” Cas said.
“Watch your mouth in this house, Cas,” Muddy warned. “I will not have my great grandbabies’ first word be a curse.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Cas said, duly chastised.
I rose from my spot on the couch and went to Muddy. I leaned down and whispered in her ear, “Thank you.”
“Any time, sugar.” She beamed at me.
I tried to walk past Declan and Cas, but the two of them stopped me by sandwiching me into a hug and then Declan ruffled my hair in a completely fraternal gesture.
“Don’t be a stranger,” Cas said.
I wasn’t a stranger, I realized.
I was family.
Tears gathered in my eyes.
“Dude, you made her cry,” Declan said.
“How? Why?” Cas asked, horrified. “What did I say?”
“You guys.” I wrapped one arm around each of them and squeezed them tight.
I slipped out the front door before I heard anything more. Brooks was sitting on the porch bench that was nestled against the front of the house. Several pairs of shoes were lined up next to it.
“Hey,” I greeted.
“Hey.” He stood up and towered over me, but he didn’t make me feel small or scared. He made me feel bold and brave.
“How was the ride?” I asked.
“Good. The stars are bright tonight.”
I nodded. “Very bright.”
“I’ll take you on a night ride sometime if you want.”
“I’d like that,” I said. “You ready to go?”
“Can I show you something first?” he asked.
I nodded.
He took my hand and led me down the porch steps. I didn’t ask where he was taking me; I just let him lead.
“You and your friends okay?” he asked after a stretch of silence.
“Yeah, I think so,” I said.
“Liar.”
“What?” I asked.
“You’re lying. You’re still hurt.”
I swallowed. “I guess I didn’t cover it up well.”
“You did. But I know you.”
Under the night sky he was a tall shadow, but I swore I met his eyes. “You do know me, don’t you?”
“And you know me,” he stated. “This way.”
“I’ll be okay,” I said. “But it’ll take a bit. They know they hurt my feelings, and I know they didn’t mean to.”
“You forgive so easily.”
I started to giggle and it crescendoed into maniacal laughter.
“What?” he asked in confusion. “Why was that so funny?”
“Because I don’t forgive easily. Not at all. I haven’t forgiven my parents for leaving me on my grandparents’ doorstep.”
“That’s different,” he stated.
“How?”
“Hadley, Salem and Wyn are your family—family you chose. Which is completely different. When they fuck up, you give them the benefit of the doubt. That’s not the same as your parents who abandoned you.”
Abandon.
Such a strong, ugly word. For me, there was so much anger and pain wrapped up in it. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had a real conversation with my parents. It felt pointless. They weren’t going to change. And clinging to the memory of their estrangement only hurt me more.
My throat was tight.
And I suddenly wondered if I had such a hard time speaking up for myself because the people who were supposed to love me the most didn’t even hear me.
“Stop,” I gasped.
I dropped his hand and bent over. I placed my hands on my thighs.
“What’s wrong?” Brooks asked.
But I couldn’t speak. I could barely even breathe.
I pressed my fingers to the hollow at the base of my throat. It felt like something had been trapped there for a long, long time. Now it was desperate to be released.
Suddenly, I gulped a deep breath. A breath so deep, I wondered how long I’d been living shallow.
“Brooks,” I whispered.
And then I dissolved into tears, reaching for him.
He scooped me into his arms and held me. I wrapped my legs around him, wanting to get closer, wanting to burrow into him so deep where it was warm and safe and never come out.
“I got you,” he whispered against my hair.
I cried harder under the starry sky.
In the arms of the man I loved.