Chapter 7 #2
Still holding my hand, Jason leads me out of the room. It feels natural to hold his hand, like it’s what we always do. It’s another one of those things that feels familiar about him, even though it shouldn’t.
‘And this is the bathroom.’ He stands at the door to it, turning the light on so I can see. It’s a large bathroom with two sinks, a shower-tub combo, and built-in shelves for towels.
‘It’s really clean,’ I tell him. ‘Your whole apartment is.’
‘I might’ve cleaned last night,’ he confesses. ‘In case you came over. But it’s usually not a mess. I don’t like tripping over stuff so I keep it picked up. Anyway, that’s the tour.’
‘It’s nice, and bigger than my place. I have a one-bedroom but it’s really tiny.’
We walk back down the hall to the kitchen. He lets go of my hand and I find myself missing it. It has to be hormones making me this way. I’m feeling clingy, emotional, and extremely aroused, not a good combo when you’re staying with a guy who’s off limits.
‘You want a drink?’ he asks, opening the fridge.
‘What do you have?’
‘Pop. Sport drinks. Beer.’
‘I’m fine for now.’
He shuts the fridge. ‘We could run to the store. Get something you like.’
‘Really, I don’t need anything.’ I walk over to the window. The apartment’s on the third floor and looks out at a small neighborhood lined with trees. ‘You have some nice houses here,’ I say, noticing a craftsman-style house with a large porch.
‘Yeah, I need to start looking again.’
I turn back to him. ‘You’re buying a house?’
‘I would’ve already had one by now, but I used all of my savings to help out Brody last year. He paid me back so now I need to start looking again.’
‘You don’t want to wait? Until you get married, or engaged?’
‘I don’t see that happening anytime soon, maybe not ever if I’m limited to girls in town. I’ve dated almost every girl my age and the ones I haven’t dated I’m not interested in. I’m not going to put my life on hold waiting for the right girl to come along.’
‘Maybe she’s close and you just haven’t found her yet.’
‘Yeah, maybe,’ he says, his voice trailing off.
I turn back to the window. ‘It’s really beautiful here.’
‘It’s even better at the orchard. It’s up on a hill. You can see for miles.’
I feel him beside me, his arm brushing against mine.
‘Are we going there in the morning?’ I ask, trying to ignore how close he is to me.
‘We can. My mom makes these really great pastries every morning. If we go there, you’ve gotta try one.’
‘She sounds like a great mom.’ I turn to Jason, my heart beating faster.
‘She is.’ He faces me, gently moving my hair behind my shoulder. ‘I like having you here, Mia.’ His hand lowers to my arm as his eyes go to mine. ‘I know I shouldn’t say this, but I haven’t stopped thinking about you since that night.’
‘Why do you think you shouldn’t say that?’
‘Because we were supposed to move on. Not think about each other. Find someone else.’
‘Sometimes our minds do things we don’t want.’
‘It’s not just my mind. It’s my heart. You really got to me Mia, like no one else has. I know we can’t be together, but seeing you again, having you here, I just wanted to tell you how much that night meant to me, and how I haven’t stopped thinking about you.’
I look down. ‘Jason, I—’
‘You don’t have to say anything. I know you’re leaving. I just didn’t want you to go without me telling you how I felt. I didn’t want you thinking that night was just sex.’
‘I know it wasn’t,’ I whisper, my eyes tearing up.
Damn pregnancy hormones. Then again, I’d probably tear up even if I wasn’t pregnant.
Hearing Jason say he hasn’t stopped thinking about me confirms I wasn’t the only one who felt something that night.
I was telling myself I made it out to be more than it was, hoping it’d make me get over Jason.
But we both felt a connection that night, something that doesn’t come along every day.
I wish I could convince him to move to Boston with me. Maybe when he finds out about the baby he’d be open to at least talking about it. But he’s so happy here—happy with his job, his family. I don’t want to take that away from him.
‘Mia, are you okay?’ Jason asks, noticing the tears in my eyes.
‘Yeah.’ I laugh and wipe my eyes. ‘It’s allergies. I get them in the spring.’
‘But we’re inside.’
‘I know. It’s probably just something in the air.’
‘You sure that’s all it is?’ he asks with concern.
I nod, smiling. ‘Yes. It happens all the time.’
‘You want to get out of here? There’s not really anything to do other than watch TV.’
‘Where do you want to go?’
‘We could go to Sawyer’s place. You like beer, right?’
‘I do, but—’
‘You’re not drinking. I forgot. But we could go there anyway. You could meet Sawyer, see his brewery.’
I agree to go because being here alone with Jason is way too risky. My hormones are on overdrive and if we don’t get out of here I’m afraid something will happen.
What was I thinking? I shouldn’t be staying with Jason. But it’s just one night. We can get through one night without anything happening.