Chapter 9
Mia
No. Not now. This can’t be happening!
I sit on the side of the bed, taking deep breaths, hoping it’ll make the nausea go away. It’s been a week since I got sick. I thought my morning sickness was over. But it’s clearly back, at the worst possible moment.
Racing to the door, I swing it open and run across the hall to the bathroom, making it there just in time.
‘Mia?’ I hear Jason’s voice behind me and realize I forgot to shut the door.
This is so embarrassing. I’m kneeled in front of the toilet, feeling gross, and probably looking even worse than I feel.
‘It must’ve been something I ate,’ I say to Jason as I close the lid and flush the toilet. ‘You can go back to bed.’
He leans down to me. ‘Can I get you something? Water? Medicine? A cold washcloth?’
He’s such a nice guy. Any other guy would see me this way and get the hell out of here.
I wish he’d stop doing things that make me like him even more than I already do.
On my way here yesterday, part of me was hoping I’d feel nothing for Jason when I saw him again, but instead I’m finding myself falling for him even more.
Like now, when he’s acting so concerned for a girl who woke him up in the middle of the night, puking in his bathroom.
‘Jason, I’m fine.’ I rest back against the wall. ‘Go back to bed.’
‘You don’t look fine,’ he says, his eyes bouncing around my face. ‘You look like you’re going to get sick again.’
‘I’m not. I just need a minute to breathe.’
‘I’ll wait with you.’ He sits down on the floor, leaning against the bathroom vanity.
He’s not wearing a shirt, just his jeans, and damn he looks hot.
I forgot how great his body is. Okay, that’s a lie.
I’ve thought about his body many times since that night.
How it looked in that suit he was wearing.
How it felt when I ran my hands down his chest, then lower.
‘Mia?’ Jason leans toward me and I quickly look up at his face.
‘You can go. I just need another minute.’
‘You sure you don’t want some water? Or maybe some crackers? Maybe you have the flu.’
I shake my head. ‘It’s not the flu. I feel fine except for my stomach. I’m sure it was something I ate. What time is it?’
‘Just after midnight. You want help getting up?’
‘No,’ I say, feeling the nausea return. ‘You need to go. Now!’
‘I’m not—’ He’s interrupted by me shoving him out of the way as my other hand yanks up the toilet lid. I get sick again, with Jason right beside me. I feel him gently pulling my hair back, holding it out of the way.
‘Mia, I’m so sorry. I haven’t heard of anyone getting sick from that restaurant. If I had, I never wouldn’t taken you there.’
I flush the toilet and sit back against the wall. ‘It’s not your fault. And I liked the restaurant. The dinner was great.’
‘It wasn’t great. It made you sick. I’m going to tell the manager about this. A nice place like that shouldn’t be getting people sick.’
‘No, don’t tell the manager. I’m sure it wasn’t dinner. It was probably the lunch I had yesterday. I had a salad and I think the lettuce was bad.’
‘What can I do?’ he asks, kneeling beside me. ‘Anything?’
‘Can you help me up? I think I’m done now.’
‘Sure.’ He puts his arm behind me and gently pulls me up from the floor.
‘You can go,’ I tell him. ‘I just need to brush my teeth.’
He leaves and I splash cold water on my face, then brush my teeth. When I leave the bathroom, Jason’s waiting for me in the hall.
‘I thought you might need some help getting back.’
‘Thanks.’ I take his arm and we go into his room and he helps me into bed.
‘You think you can sleep?’ he asks.
‘Probably. If I don’t get sick again.’
‘You want some company?’ he asks, then quickly says, ‘I mean, as a friend. I could just wait here to make sure you’re okay.’
I smile at him. ‘I’d like that.’ I sit up and scoot over on the bed to give him room.
He sits next to me, on top of the covers. ‘I’m really sorry. I know you said it wasn’t my fault, but I feel like I’m the reason you got sick.’
He IS the reason, but it’s not because of the restaurant. It’s because of what happened the night of the wedding. Maybe I should tell him. It’s quiet. We’re alone.
I almost do it, but then decide it’s not the right time. I’ll tell him later, before I leave.
‘You sure I can’t get you anything?’ he asks.
‘I’m good.’ I laugh a little. ‘I can’t believe you saw that. I’m so embarrassed.’
‘Don’t be. I’m a teacher. I’m used to being around puke.’
I turn to him. ‘Kids are puking in high school? I thought that was more of a little kid thing. I never had kids in my class puke.’
‘I coach younger kids in the summer. They puke all the time, and sometimes the older kids overheat during baseball practice and puke. And I usually have one or two students a year who come into class hungover from the night before and puke either in class or in the hall. So yeah, I’m used to being around it. ’
‘I’m still embarrassed you saw that.’ I smile at him. ‘But thanks for holding my hair. That was a very gentlemanly thing to do.’
‘It was, wasn’t it?’ he says, sounding proud of himself.
I rest my head on his shoulder. ‘You’re a great guy, Jason.’
‘I don’t know about that,’ he jokes. ‘You don’t know me that well.’
‘No, but what I know about you so far tells me you’re a good guy.’ I pause. ‘I’ve really liked seeing you here, in your hometown, with your family.’
‘Why?’
‘Because it shows me who you are, what you’re like when you’re not trying to impress some girl at a wedding.’
‘Who said I was trying to impress you?’
I look up at him. ‘You weren’t?’
‘Okay, I admit it, I was, but only at first. After an hour of talking to you, it felt so natural I ended up just being myself.’
I lay my head back on his shoulder. ‘It did feel natural. Like we’d known each other forever.’
‘It’s weird, isn’t it? I’ve never had that happen before.’
‘Me either. That’s one of the reasons I had to see you again. To see if I’d still feel that way.’
‘And do you?’
‘Yeah, I do. How about you?’
‘I feel like that even more.’ He slips his hand around mine. ‘I wish I could explain it.’
‘Explain what?’
‘Why we feel this way. Why being with you feels so familiar after only spending a night with you. Well, two nights now.’
‘I think sometimes people just feel that type of connection. I don’t know why. Maybe for us it’s because we have a lot in common.’
‘I’ve had stuff in common with women before and never felt this way.’
‘Then I don’t have an explanation. And maybe that’s okay. Maybe we don’t need one.’
We sit in silence a moment, my head on Jason’s shoulder, his hand wrapped around mine. The nausea has passed and I feel relaxed, like I’m close to falling asleep.
‘You ever fake getting sick?’ Jason asks. ‘Back when you were a kid?’
‘No. Never. I didn’t want to worry my parents.’
‘I don’t mean something serious. I meant like pretend to have a sore throat or put hot water on your face to fake a fever.’
‘No, I never did any of that. My parents didn’t think they could have kids so when they had me, they worried about every little thing. If I got sick, they acted like they thought they might lose me. So even when I really was sick, I tried to hide it from them so they wouldn’t worry.’
‘That’s a lot of pressure for a little kid. Having to protect your parents like that?’
‘It was, but I didn’t know it back then. I just knew I didn’t like seeing them worry.’
‘Are you still trying to protect them?’
‘Now it’s more about not wanting to disappoint them.’
‘I can’t imagine you disappointing them. You’re independent, supporting yourself, going to grad school.’
‘They’re helping me pay for grad school so I’m not really independent yet.’
‘Yeah, but still, I can’t see you disappointing them.’
They’ll be disappointed when they find out I’m pregnant and no longer with the father.
I don’t even want to think about how upset they’ll be, and worried.
They already worry about me being single and making it on my own, but add a baby to the mix?
They’ll worry even more, thinking I won’t be able to support both the baby and me.
‘I faked being sick all the time,’ Jason says.
‘You did?’ I look up and see him smiling. ‘Why?’
‘Because I didn’t want to go to school. I thought it was a waste of time. I wanted to play professional baseball. I didn’t need school for that.’
‘If you didn’t like school, how’d you end up going into teaching?’
‘Mr. Anton, my seventh grade science teacher. He made the class fun, to the point I actually looked forward to going. He’d let us do experiments where we’d blow shit up or have stuff ooze all over the floor.
I thought it was the coolest thing ever, and by the end of the year, I’d become a science geek.
Well, maybe not a geek, but I was really into science. ’
‘So one teacher changed your entire life,’ I say, smiling at him.
‘Pretty much. I still wanted to play baseball, but I was starting to realize that playing professionally wasn’t as easy as I thought. I decided to focus on playing at college.’
‘Did you do it? Did you play college baseball?’
‘I was supposed to, but I got injured the summer before I got there. I couldn’t play and was dropped from the team. But now I get to coach and hopefully make some other kid’s baseball dreams come true.’
‘So after seventh grade, you stopped faking being sick?’
‘Hell no. I still did it. All the damn time.’ He laughs.
‘If it was a nice day, I’d tell my mom I didn’t feel well and had to stay home.
I’d tell her it was my stomach or that I had a headache, something I didn’t have to prove.
And then I’d sneak out of the house and ride my bike to the batting cages. ’
‘And your mom didn’t know?’
‘I’d plan it around when she’d be gone or when she’d be out helping my dad in the orchard. I got caught a couple times, but most of the time I got away with it.’
‘I couldn’t do something like that. I’d be too worried my parents would find out. I wish I could be more like you and not worry so much about disappointing my parents.’
‘I worry about disappointing them. I just don’t let it take over my life. Or sometimes I just don’t tell them stuff. If I know something might upset them, I keep it to myself.’
‘Like what?’
He pauses a moment. ‘If I tell you this, you can’t tell my parents. Not that you would. I’m just saying, I don’t want them knowing.’
‘What is it?’
‘I helped Brody buy a house last year. It was an old run-down house. Brody was going to fix it up and sell it and we’d split the profits.
He was really excited about doing it, but he already had debt from his lawn care and snow removal business so the bank wouldn’t give him a loan for the house unless I bought it with him.
I put all my savings into the down payment, then had to keep making the mortgage payments because Brody didn’t have money coming in.
I ended up getting myself in debt trying to pay his bills and mine.
We finally sold the house, but I’m still trying to pay off all the credit card debt I racked up. ’
‘I don’t understand. You were helping your brother. Why would that disappoint your parents?’
‘They’d be disappointed I let Brody get in over his head. If I hadn’t helped him, he never would’ve bought that house and neither one of us would’ve ended up in debt. I’m the older brother. I’m supposed to be looking out for him, and instead I helped him to do the wrong thing.’
‘I don’t think it was wrong. You were supporting him in something he really wanted to do. I think your parents would be proud of you for that.’
‘I still don’t want them to know. They don’t need to. It’s over now. We got rid of the house and Brody has another one, which he bought with Kate. She used to be a financial planner so I’m not worried about Brody going broke anymore. Kate will make sure their bills get paid.’
‘But what about you? Are you really in that much debt?’
‘It’s not as bad as I made it sound. I just need to pay off my credit cards and build my savings up again. I really wanted to have a house by now, but I guess I don’t really need one if it’s just me.’
It’s not just him. Soon he’ll have a baby. And if we share custody, where will the baby sleep? This apartment doesn’t have enough room for a crib or any of the other stuff that comes with caring for a baby.
Now I’m feeling sick again, but this time it’s because I’m worried. How is this going to work? How are we going to share custody living thousands of miles apart?
‘You feeling any better?’ Jason asks.
‘I was, but now I’m not feeling so great.’
‘Lay down.’ He waits until I do, then lays beside me, remaining on top of the covers.
I turn on my side and feel his arm go around me. He scoots closer and I feel the warmth of his chest on my back as he holds me. My worries fade away as I relax into Jason’s arms. Soon my eyelids flutter shut and I drift off to sleep.