Chapter 22
Jason
It’s the end of July and not much has changed. Mia still doesn’t have a job for the fall. We’re still engaged. Still living together. And there’s still unresolved tension between us. But we don’t let that tension come to the surface. We ignore it for the sake of getting along.
I know our relationship would be better if we could talk about the future, but until Mia gets a job, we’re not in a hurry to discuss it.
I’ve applied for five teaching jobs in and around Boston, but haven’t heard back from any of them.
I haven’t told Mia about the jobs because I don’t want her getting her hopes up. I’d rather wait until I have an offer.
‘Hey, neighbor,’ Nick jokes when I come into the kitchen at my parents’ house. My summer classes are done, leaving my mornings free, so sometimes I come over here so I’m not bothering Mia when she’s trying to work.
‘Shouldn’t you be out in the fields?’ I grab a mug and fill it with coffee.
‘I’m taking a break. It’s hot out there. I’ve been going out at six every morning to avoid the heat later in the day.’
‘Yeah, the heat’s bad this week. The humidity bothers Mia. She’s been staying inside.’
‘How are you guys doing?’
‘Good.’ I sit across from him at the kitchen table. ‘How about you and Lyndsay?’
‘Lyndsay’s upset that she’s not pregnant by now. I keep reminding her we’ve only been trying a few months, but it doesn’t seem to help. And it doesn’t help that you got Mia pregnant on the first time, which Lyndsay keeps bringing up when I tell her we need to be patient.’
‘It’s not like I tried to get Mia pregnant. Maybe that’s what you two should do. Try not to get pregnant and then you will.’
‘Yeah, maybe. It’ll happen eventually. We just need to keep trying.’ He sips his coffee. ‘How’s the baseball camp going?’
‘Great! I’ve already got a sign-up list for next summer.’
‘Why do you have sign-ups for next summer? You won’t be here.’
I get up and go to the counter where Mom left out a plate of her apple pastries.
‘Jason, you’re not staying here,’ Nick says.
I take a pastry and go back to the table.
‘Jason,’ Nick says in his advice-giving, big-brother tone. ‘You love her. And you’re having a kid together. You have to go with her.’
‘Nothing’s been decided. She doesn’t have a job there, and maybe she won’t by next year.’
‘She will. You know she will. Even if she doesn’t have a job, she wants to be with her parents.’
‘And I want to be with mine. Dad almost died last year. What if something like that happens again and I’m not here?’
‘I’ll be here. So will Brody. Sawyer. Mom. Dad has people here to care for him. Mia’s parents don’t.’
‘I get that, but I still want to be here if something happens to Mom or Dad.’
‘Then you’ll get on a plane and fly here. You think I didn’t feel the same way when I lived in New York? I always worried something would happen.’
‘But you wanted to leave. You wanted to be in a big city and have that life. I don’t. I never did.’ I sigh. ‘I know I need to move with her. I just wish I felt better about it.’
‘Nick!’ Mom yells from upstairs. ‘Are you down there?’
‘Yeah, Mom, what do you need?’ he yells back. He gets up, concern on his face because she sounded panicked and we can hear her running down the stairs.
We meet up with her in the hall. ‘Your father’s having chest pains. We need to get him to the hospital.’
‘Can he walk?’ Nick asks.
‘I’m not sure,’ Mom says, her voice shaking. ‘He’s in a lot of pain.’
‘Get the truck going,’ he tells her. ‘Jason and I will get him down the stairs.’
My heart’s pounding, memories from last summer coming back. Images of my dad in the hospital. The doctor telling us he could’ve died. Waiting for him to make it out of open heart surgery.
This is why I don’t want to leave. This is what’s holding me back.
‘We got you, Dad,’ Nick says, as we help him get up from the bed.
‘I just need my medicine,’ Dad says, clutching his chest. ‘I don’t need a doctor.’
‘We’re going to take you there anyway,’ Nick says. ‘Just to have them check you out.’
I admire Nick for being so calm. He’s always been that way. I think it’s an older brother thing. He takes charge when things like this happen. I panic and can’t think straight. Sawyer and Brody are like that too.
Nick and I help Dad down the stairs and outside to the truck. Mom gets out to let Nick drive.
‘Call Brody and Sawyer,’ Nick says to me as he gets in the truck.
‘Don’t be doing that!’ Dad orders. ‘I’m fine.’
‘Call them,’ Nick says, ignoring Dad. ‘Then meet us at the hospital.’
They drive off, and instead of calling my brothers, I call Mia without even thinking. She’s the first person who comes to mind now when things like this happen.
‘Hey, are you coming home?’ Mia answers.
‘No.’ I tell her what happened and that I’m going to the hospital.
‘Can I come with?’ she asks. ‘He’s my dad too.’
She’s right. He treats her like a father does, and if we get married, it’ll be official. She’s part of my family, so why am I treating her like she’s not? Am I pushing her away without even realizing it?
‘I’ll be there in a minute.’ I drive down to the house and pick her up, then call my brothers as we head to the hospital.
Mom and Nick come up to us when we get there.
‘They think it’s angina,’ Mom says. ‘But they’re going to keep him here overnight to run some tests.’
‘It sounds like he’ll be fine,’ Nick says to me, knowing I’m panicking.
‘Do you need anything?’ Mia asks Mom. ‘Coffee? Tea? I could run to the cafeteria.’
‘Thank you, but no. I’m fine.’ She smiles, glancing at Mia’s belly, which has grown a lot the past couple months. ‘Let’s go sit down. Get you off your feet.’
Mom takes her over to the chairs in the waiting area while Nick and I stay behind.
‘We talked to the doctor before you got here,’ Nick says. ‘He said it’s angina and that they probably just need to adjust the meds he’s taking.’
‘Angina means he’s not getting blood to the heart. That’s serious.’
‘The doctor said we shouldn’t worry. They’ll run some tests, but the doctor thinks it’s most likely a narrowing of the arteries, not a blockage. Taking the meds and watching his diet should help. He doesn’t think Dad needs surgery.’
‘You see why I don’t want to move away? What if this happened when I was in Boston?’
‘You’d get on the next flight and be here. It’s no different than if something happened to Mia’s parents while you guys were here.’ He checks his phone. ‘Lyndsay just got here. I’m going to go meet her outside.’
I walk over to where Mom and Mia are sitting.
‘Nick went outside to meet up with Lyndsay,’ I say, sitting beside Mia.
‘Mrs. Kanfield?’ A nurse walks up to her. ‘I need you to answer some questions for the insurance.’
‘Of course.’ Mom gets up and follows the nurse to a room near the waiting area.
‘Nick said Dad’s probably okay,’ I tell Mia. ‘They’ll just need to adjust his meds.’
Mia reaches over and holds my hand. Just that small gesture makes me feel better. It’s good she came. I like having her here. The more time I spend with her, and the more things we go through together, the more I realize how much I need her in my life. How much we need each other.
Mia’s phone rings. ‘It’s my mom. I’ll go outside. I don’t think I’m supposed to use my phone in here.’ She answers the call as she hurries to the door. ‘Hey, Mom.’ She stops. ‘He what? Wait, slow down.’ She continues out the door.
She sounded worried. Something must’ve happened. I get up and follow her outside.
‘Mom, are you sure?’ Mia’s hand is resting on her stomach and I notice she has tears in her eyes.
I come up beside her and put my arm around her. ‘What’s wrong?’
She holds her hand up, signaling me to be quiet so she can hear. ‘Mom, don’t worry about me. I’m not too pregnant to fly. I could be out there tomorrow.’ She nods. ‘Okay, I’ll let you know.’ She ends the call.
‘What happened?’ I ask, moving in front of her.
‘Dad fell down the stairs. He’s in the hospital. He broke his arm and maybe a rib. They’re not sure yet. They’re still running tests.’
‘Is he going to be okay?’
‘My mom said he probably will, but at his age, it’ll take him a long time to recover.’ Mia looks up at me. ‘I’m going to go out there and stay with them. For as long as they need me. I know I promised you the summer, but I need to do this, Jason. I’m sorry.’
‘Mia, you don’t have to apologize. You’re going.’ I hold her hands. ‘We’re both going.’
‘But you can’t. You have baseball camp and your dad and—’
‘And you. We’re a couple. I go where you go. And while we’re there, we’ll look at some apartments.’
‘Does that mean . . .’ She waits for me to tell her.
‘Do you really think I’d let you move out there alone?’
‘Jason, this whole time you’ve resisted the idea of moving. You wouldn’t even talk about it.’
‘Because I was thinking of myself and what I wanted. But it’s not just me anymore. I have to think of all of us. You. Me. Our baby. Your parents. We’re all a family now.’
‘But what about your family here? And your job?’
I get out my phone and show her the texts confirming all the applications I submitted. ‘I haven’t heard back from any of them yet, but I’m hoping I will soon.’
‘Why didn’t you tell me you’d applied for jobs?’
‘I was waiting until I had an interview. I didn’t want to get your hopes up for something that may not happen.
Mia, I’m sorry I’ve been putting off talking about this.
I was being stupid, thinking something would change and we wouldn’t have to move.
But it’s time we stop waiting and just do this.
Your parents need us and it’ll be easier for us to find jobs if we’re already out there. ’
Mia’s face lights up with that beautiful smile that drew me to her the moment I met her. ‘You’re really doing this?’
‘WE’RE doing this.’ I kiss her, then take her hand and we go back inside.
Mom walks up to us. ‘You two can go. There’s no reason to stay. He’s resting and will probably be asleep soon.’
‘Can I go see him?’ I ask.
‘Yes. Go ahead.’