CHAPTER 39
ANIKA
I don’t know how long I’ve been avoiding Aarav.
It feels like days—weeks, even though it's just been a day. Time is a strange thing when you’re running from someone you can’t stop thinking about.
My body knows what it wants. My mind keeps trying to remind me that I’m not allowed to want him.
Not in the way I do. It's just not right.
I spend my day avoiding him, spending time with Maa, pretending that everything is fine. I keep myself busy in the farmhouse with Aditi, with Kajal, with the chores. Anywhere, really, that’s not near Aarav. The more I can be away from him, the better.
I’ve spent so many hours in the kitchen over the past two days.
It’s quiet there. No noise, no distractions.
Just the rhythm of chopping, stirring, and the occasional hum of the refrigerator.
AND I DON'T EVEN LIKE COOKING. Maa said she was going to make Dal Batti for everyone and I jumped at the opportunity to busy myself.
Maa's phone pings and she smiles and looks up at me, "Ani, can you bring me a glass of water please?
" She says sweetly, something's going on, don't get me wrong Maa is very sweet but this feels like a trap but there's no way I can deny her so I just nod, get up and march towards the kitchen while checking Aarav's presence from my peripheral vision.
As I enter the kitchen, my foot stops in tracks. I knew it! There he is. Aarav. Leaning against the fridge. His arms are folded across his chest. His gaze is intense, piercing, as if he knew I was going to walk in here. Like he’s been waiting for me. My pulse races.
What the—?
My mind shouts at me to turn around, to walk out, to go anywhere but here, but my body doesn’t listen. Typical. My feet seem glued to the floor as I stare at him, wide-eyed. I swallow hard, and in the silence between us, I can hear my breath, shallow and uneven.
I turn around but before I can even think of running, his voice cuts through the air.
“Stop.”
I freeze, my entire body tense, a wave of heat rising in my chest. I don’t move. I can’t. His presence, it's like a magnet—pulling me and I always find myself repelling it. Because I fear the end.
His footsteps sound behind me, slow but steady, and then I feel him.
Close. Too close. His breath is warm against my skin, and I know he’s standing just inches away.
My heart picks up speed. I could run. But no, instead, I stand there, breathing in the air between us, willing myself not to turn around.
He leans in, his voice low and teasing. “Are we playing hide-and-seek, Miss Toofan?”
His words make me laugh, but it’s awkward and strained, like I can’t catch my breath properly.
I chuckle nervously, my mind racing to push the thoughts away.
I shake my head and turn to face him. “No. Of course not,” I say, but my voice cracks slightly, betraying me.
“What are we, ten?” I laugh again, this time louder, but it dies in my throat when I realize how close he’s gotten.
The way he’s looking at me, like I’m the only thing in the room.
I’m so caught in the pull of him that I don’t even realize he’s leaning in until I feel his nose brush against mine, his breath mingling with mine in a shared, electric moment.
It’s like the world stops spinning, like the whole universe has conspired to make this moment stretch and hold.
Or maybe it's just Maa; I should have understood from that smile of hers. Dammit.
"No matter where you go, how much ever you avoid me, Anika," he whispers, his breath hot against my ear, "I will seek you, always." He says it as if promising me, and it only makes me thrilled to hear that.
I can't stop myself. I can’t. The words tumble out before I can stop them.
“Why didn’t you before?” If he really would seek me, why didn't he when I needed him, when I felt my world was tearing apart? I know it isn't his fault, maybe mine, but not his, but I would have liked to be found by him.
His expression softens, his gaze darkening just a little. He looks like he’s about to say something, but he doesn’t. Instead, he places a soft kiss on my forehead, his lips lingering there for a second too long.
“Because you weren’t mine then,” he murmurs, his voice so tender it makes my heart ache. “But now, Anu, you are mine. And I will search through every atom of this universe to find you.”
The words hit me like a wave. A strong one.
His words resonate deep in my chest, as if I’ve been waiting to hear them my whole life.
Because I have. My body trembles slightly, my thoughts scattered.
I can't breathe properly. But I have to stop this.
I can't keep doing this. Not with him. Not with the way he makes me feel.
I push him away, stumbling back a little. “Okay,” I say, my voice shaking. “Okay.” I don’t know why I say it, but I do. It feels like the only thing that makes sense in this chaotic moment. And maybe because I believe him.
I walk to the counter, trying to get some space. My mind is spinning, and my heart is thundering in my chest. I just need to breathe. I need to ground myself.
But before I can even reach the counter, I feel him again.
His arms come around me from behind, pulling me into him.
I gasp, a sharp intake of air as his warmth envelops me, his hard body pressed against my back.
My eyes flutter closed, and my head falls back slightly, giving him more access to the sensitive skin of my neck as he slowly nibbles on my neck.
“Stop avoiding me, darling,” he whispers against my skin.
I’m too weak to fight it. His touch, the way he holds me, it feels so right even when my brain is screaming that it’s not. I try to speak, but nothing comes out. My body betrays me again. I can't fight this.
I try to tell him, to explain, but my words are lost in the fog of desire swirling between us. “I—” My breath catches in my throat, but nothing comes out. I try again. “I—"
He cuts me off, "stop lying to yourself, Anika. You want this. You want me.”
I close my eyes, my heart racing. The sound of his voice against my skin sends a shiver down my spine.
I want to argue. I want to say something, anything to make this stop.
But the truth is, I don’t want it to stop.
I didn't want the kiss to stop last night, and now I don't want this to stop, whatever the hell this is.
I pull away slightly, turning to face him. My eyes meet his, and I can’t look away. I can feel the weight of everything between us. But an image flashes in my mind. The contract . Right.
“This is six months,” I say, my voice trembling with uncertainty. “That’s all this is.”
His face hardens, and for a moment, I see a flicker of something dark in his eyes.
His jaw clenches, and I know I’ve hit a nerve.
But I don’t care. I need him to hear me.
I need him to understand why I keep pushing him away and that he should stop living in whatever bubble he is in because the reality is we are not actually a normal, happy couple; we are bound by an agreement. That's what this is.
“Anika,” he says, his voice tight. He opens his mouth to say something else, but no words come out. His expression hardens, and his eyes flash with frustration, but it’s like he’s trying to say something that even he doesn’t know how to put into words.
I stare at him, my own emotions unraveling before my eyes. I feel the tears welling up, but I won’t let them fall. Not now. Not in front of him.
“You got your answer,” I say, my voice breaking. “You know exactly where I stand.”
I turn and walk away before I can change my mind.
I don’t look back. I can’t. If I do, I’ll fall apart completely.
All this time he makes me feel I mean so much to him, and I believe it; I see it in his eyes.
But every time I bring up the contract, he never denies it.
He could just say no, we are beyond the contract, and maybe—just maybe—the uncertainty I have about this relationship would snap, but it never does. He never denies.
And I can't let him ruin me, not now, because after this marriage I will not know how to survive without him. And that will kill me.