Chapter 24
“Any particular reason why you’re looking like the fucking cat that ate the canary?” Sup asks, coming into my room just before breakfast.
I shrug. “Just finished a good physical therapy sesh and so fucking ready to go home .”
I set my phone down from talking to Violette, she’s just getting ready to head in for her shift and we’ve been talking since she woke up. We talked until she fell asleep last night too. At this point, the only thing I want to do is talk to her and I will stop at literally nothing to keep her talking. Even spending upwards of a hundred bucks for extra letters on Wordbubbles just so I could send her all the very particular words I wanted to in our game.
“You got a hot date when you get outta here or something?”
“Hopefully.” I grin, giving Sup my full attention. “Fuck, Sup, you’re too fucking clean,” I say as he strides across my room and takes a seat.
“A day off will do that to a man. I think by my third shower I was actually down to my honest skin tone.” He grins holding up an arm.
He fills me in on the things I missed on their last short roll and what the guys got done at base yesterday when they got back—all while I’ve been stuck in here. My breakfast comes, and I stand and walk to the server to take it off her hands. Sup texts with someone while I sit down on the edge of my bed and start to shovel it in. They don’t feed me enough in here, and I’m desperate to get home so I can start eating right and working out again.
“You’re looking good. You feeling good?” Sup asks as I set my fork down on my plate and place it on the table beside my bed.
“It doesn’t really hurt much anymore, keeping a lot of it covered mostly, but just out of precaution so I don’t irritate it. Aside from a few spots, it feels pretty good. My skin is healing up better than the doctor expected and she says the scars will be minimal.”
Sup nods, his expression is pensive and concerned.
“I’m just ready to get back out in the field,” I say, looking down at my arm and my thigh.
“It’s been nine days. You need a little longer, bud,” he notes. “You get heat anywhere near that right now and they’ll be able to hear you howling in Oregon.”
I nod. “Yea, I know.”
“Listen, I’m here to tell you we’re heading to Wyoming tonight to help out on a beast. Black Mountain Fire. Been burning out of control. It’s taken 4000 acres in two days.”
“Fuck,” I breathe out.
“Yeah, just wanted you to hear it from me.”
I set my jaw. It physically pains me to not be with my squad. “I wish I could come with.”
“Soon enough, just heal.”
I nod again.
“Something else.” Sup looks at me, and I know that look, one that says he’s about to have a heart to heart with me. “Your body is healing, but how are you? ” He taps his temple with his first finger.
I shrug. “I’m okay.”
“Yeah?”
I sigh. He knows me too well to bullshit him. “Sometimes, when I’m falling asleep, I’m right back in those woods, falling into that hole. I can feel the heat.” I think for a beat. “But that’s not what scares me awake.”
Sup folds his arms over his chest, listening intently. It’s what he’s good at.
“It’s the thought that I was in there for five seconds. Five. Jacob was in there so much longer, and I think about that. I think about your dad. It's just that…now, I can almost imagine what they went through in those last moments. If I had been stuck in there just a little longer?—”
Sup nods and sets his jaw. “But you weren’t. You’re here. There’s a reason for that.”
“I have no fucking clue why,” I say honestly. “Why did I survive and they didn’t?” I blurt out.
Sup shrugs. “Who knows? But you did. You got a chance to go on. They didn’t.” Sup gives me his all-knowing look. “Kinda pressures you to make sure you aren’t leaving anything off the table with people you care about, yeah?”
My gaze meets his and I wonder if he can tell I’m starting to have some pretty strong feelings, maybe feelings that never went away for Violette.
“Y’understand?” he asks.
I blow out a breath and nod. There’s something so easy about Sup. He’s like the older brother I never had.
“I hear you,” I say to him.
“Good.”
“Knock, knock,”
I hear Violette’s voice. She’s leaning in the doorway and when I turn to face her something in me just settles. It’s only been two days since I saw her last but somehow, she looks even more beautiful. She’s wearing black scrubs that hug her everywhere they should, and her hair is in a long braid that hangs down her back. I wonder briefly if she heard any of that conversation.
“Morning, Violette,” Sup says to her with an easy grin.
“Your patient here is trying to get me to bust him out and take him with me to Wyoming.”
She smiles, but there’s something not quite right about it. “Is he now?”
“Fucking right,” I answer. “Can’t wait to get back out there.”
Violette’s eyes meet mine and I see something there I haven’t seen yet—hesitation. And worry. Like the idea of me fighting fires worries her.
“You need…more time to heal,” Violette says, averting her eyes.
Holy fuck, she’s definitely worried…about me.
My eyes meet Sup’s across the room. He gives me the two finger point from his eyes to mine, when Violette isn’t looking, just to let me know he’s most definitely on to me.
I don’t care, I just keep smiling, because now I know . Whether Violette wants to admit it or not, she still cares about me…and that I can work with.
“Violette has shown you how to change your dressings?”
“Yep,” I answer the doctor later that day. I’ve barely seen Violette since this morning and she hasn’t really answered my texts either. There was a car crash on HWY 21, so new patients have been brought up who are more critical than I am.
“Okay, and you’re going to want to change them just as many times as they’re changed here.” She inspects the wounds that no longer have dressings on them. “These are looking good, leave them open to air,” she tells me as I pull my sleeve down.
“Loose fitting shorts are best for a few days and cool baths.”
I nod, I’ve got it all. I’ve read through the pamphlet Violette left me about leaving the hospital ten times already, and I’m already looking up foods and natural remedies I can take to help with healing.
“Alright, well, you’re set to check out, give me a few minutes and I’ll be back with your release papers.”
I nod and shake her hand. “Thanks, doc.”
No sooner is she gone than I hear the voice I’ve been waiting for all day.
“She springing you?”
I turn to face Violette. “Yep, looks like it.”
“Well, I just wanted to check in on you before you left. You’ve got a ride?”
“Yea, my mom and dad are coming anytime.”
She hesitates and a few seconds of awkward silence takes over.
“Okay, well, I gotta get back.” She turns to leave, then stops herself. I can’t place what exactly, but something in her has changed since this morning. “It’s been nice talking again, King,” she says.
“I agree,” I say quickly.
“But…”
Oh shit.
“I have so much on my plate—Hollie, adjusting to this move, the date you asked me on?—”
“ Won ,” I remind her.
“Right.” She smiles ruefully. “Well, I just think it’s best if we just keep a little distance. You’re going to be back out in the field soon enough.”
“Vi—”
“Look, it’s just that the last time we got close, it didn’t end well. I’m past what happened with us. I’ll admit, I didn’t particularly like you when I came home, I was holding a bit of a grudge, but it’s not like that now. I know you’re a good guy, I just don’t think I can trust you. That’s the truth and it’s all I have to give you right now, no matter what this is starting to feel like,” she adds, gesturing between.
I analyze her expression. I’m calling bullshit because the way she’s looking at me is very un -past it.
“Violette, you’re lying to yourself,” I say, desperate to stop her from doing this, just when I feel like we’re getting to know each other again. “How I felt about you back then?—”
“King, you don’t have to. I said I’m past it,” Violette interrupts.
“No,” I say firmly. I know what this is, she wants to pretend there isn’t some serious chemistry happening here. She wants to deny she has feelings for me, but I’m not about to let that happen. I’m too eager for her to admit the truth. I rub my temples, taking a second. I silently beg for forgiveness from Jacob, then take a deep breath. “Vi, I was falling for you. Like, really falling for you. When I left you after the beach that night and went to pick up Jacob, I walked into…a total fucking shit show.” I move closer to her, until I’m right in front of her. “He needed my help.”
She doesn’t move, she just stands frozen, listening.
“Why?” she asks skeptically, with a look on her face that tells me she’s going through her own memories of that night.
“Your chauffeur is here,” my mother singsongs happily as she knocks on the door frame.
I flinch and Violette instantly backs up.
“Am I interrupting something?” she asks instantly, sensing something’s up. Fucking Christ . I scrub my face with my hand. My mother has the worst timing known to man.
“No, I was just giving King instructions on his home care,” Violette says, clearing her throat as my mother moves in to get a hug from her.
“Thank you for taking such good care of him, honey.”
Violette smiles—a forced smile.
“You’re welcome. He’ll be just fine if he follows the doctor’s orders.” Violette’s eyes move back to mine.
“I’ll get you a few more supplies to take home,” she says to me, and turns to leave.
My mother puts her hands on her hips, and I know I’m in for it.
“What, ma?” I ask.
“I told you that you need to straighten things out with her, but not in the middle of her workday, Ro.”
Fair enough.
“Look, I’ve seen the way you look at her. If you’ve felt the same way about a girl for this long, it’s worth fighting for. But you’re lucky I came in when I did. Take your time, tell her how you feel, but not when she’s at work.”
I breathe out a sigh; she’s right.
“I just have no clue how to make her trust me again, she was about to try to disappear, and I panicked.”
“That takes time, but lucky for you, you both have lots of that. Now, say thank you to her and wait until the poor girl is done with her shift before you try to woo her.” She moves toward me and smiles, patting her palm on my face. “And make it snappy, your dad is double parked,” she says just as Violette comes back into the room.
“You know, I think I’ll go thank the doctor quickly before we leave, I saw her at the desk.” My mother winks as she walks out of the room.
Violette begins packing extra gauze, and ointment, and pulls a prescription from her pocket that the doctor left, handing it to me. She shrugs and it feels awkward as hell between us.
“I gotta go, my shift was over ten minutes ago and I have to get Hollie ready. Troy will be at my place in an hour,” she says, half to herself, flustered.
“Vi. I know you have to go but I just want to say this.” I reach out and grab her wrist, gently turning her to face me. “You can be afraid of whatever was between us, and whatever still is between us…”
She looks so fucking beautiful and vulnerable that I fight with every fiber of my being not to tell her everything right here and now. Not only is my mother right, but I also need time to think about how I can get Vi to give me another chance without telling her things about her brother that will be too hard for her to hear. All she has left are her memories of Jacob.
“I know I’m asking for a lot, but the ball is in your court.” I slide my hand down and take her pinky finger between my finger and thumb, tugging her closer. I can’t help it, I tip my forehead to hers and breathe her in, just for a second.
“I just want you to let me back in, Vi. Give me a chance to explain,” I whisper.
Her breath is warm, and she smells sugary and sweet. The feeling of any part of her near me is overwhelming and goes straight to my cock. I wish I could control it but it’s unstoppable.
“Rowan…” she whispers, and, fuck, my name on her lips in any capacity for the first time in years, sends more shockwaves down to my already hardening cock.
I’m so goddamn desperate to kiss her. It takes a sort of superhuman strength not to. I swallow down the urge because I know I have to let her come to me.
“I need to go,” she says, her voice shaky as her pinkie slips away and she backs up.
I nod.
She says nothing else as she turns on her heel and leaves the room with a last glance over her shoulder. I flex my fists the second I’m alone. I’m ready to hit something. I want with everything in me to go after her. I want to haul her back in here and press her up against the wall and kiss her until both of us are breathless, but I don’t.
I let her go, because I should’ve told her the truth a long time ago and even though her being home now offers me the shot I never thought I’d get, that doesn’t mean I deserve it.
I pull my phone out and open our chat. I know she’s alone for part of the night tonight while Hollie is with Troy. The ball is in her court but that doesn’t mean I won’t make it easier for her to come to me.
I type out only my address, then I take a deep breath and send it to her.