Chapter 49
A calloused thumb stroking along my cheekbone wakes me from the deepest sleep I’ve had all week. One that is still clouded with dreams of six-year-old Timothy Feldman, covered in third degree burns and crying for his mother. A mother who might not make it.
My eyes snap open to find Rowan, sitting on the floor, one arm propped up on the sofa beside me watching me sleep. He’s turned my gas fireplace on, I realize as I shiver. I left the windows open and it’s gotten cool.
“Hello, love.” He smirks.
I sit up and look for the time on my fireplace mantel.
“Shit, I was just so tired, I just wanted to rest my eyes, what time is it?”
“Shhh.” He smirks at me, sliding his hand down my arm. “It doesn’t matter. Change of plans tonight. I didn’t want to subject you to that group of miscreants and their twenty questions anyway, and you look exhausted, Vi.”
I’m supposed to be getting ready right now. I lie back down and take a breath, looking up at the soft shadows from the lamp on my living room ceiling.
“I am,” I admit. “It’s been a long week on our floor, and of course, Hollie has been bursting with energy. I just need a minute and I’ll go get in the shower, let them know we’ll be an hour late?” I mutter with a yawn.
Rowan shakes his head and leans in to kiss my lips. “Nah, I’ve got a better idea.”
He stands and makes his way into my kitchen. I look over my shoulder trying to figure out what he’s doing as I rub my tired eyes with my palms, willing myself the energy to get up and get going.
I love nursing. It’s the most rewarding part of my life aside from Hollie, but there are days— weeks even—where it’s really fucking hard. Truth be told, the last thing I wanted to do was go out for drinks and food with a crowd of people at the end of my shift, but I’d do it for this man who keeps showing up for me and Hollie again and again.
A few minutes later Rowan returns, a glass of red wine in one hand and a bottle of coconut lotion in the other. He pulls his phone out and puts his bluegrass playlist on, low enough that we can still talk.
I grin at him. “Wine and lotion? Things about to get interesting?” I ask with a little laugh.
He just smirks, making his way to the wing back chair in front of my fireplace and sits, setting the bottle of coconut oil down on the fireplace hearth. Looking at me expectantly, he spreads his legs and points between them. “Come sit,” he says, “and lose the clothes from your waist up.”
He holds the wine out for me and I understand immediately what he’s offering. I have no idea why, but I begin to tear up as I walk toward him, pulling off my shirt that still smells like hospital, then my cotton bra next. By the time I’m taking the wine from him and sitting topless on the floor between his legs, I’m desperately gulping back all the feelings that are crushing me. Gratefulness, adoration, fear of him leaving anytime to fight the next fire, want. I take a long sip from the glass of red he poured me as I sit and relax between his thick jean clad thighs.
“Why are you so good to me?” I ask, as my favorite cab sav coats my lips, and, damn, it tastes good right now.
“Do you realize how good you are to everyone around you?” Rowan asks as drops of the sweet-smelling lotion hit my shoulders before he begins to massage it into my skin.
“I don’t think about it, I guess. It’s my job as a mom and a nurse.”
“It’s a lot of peoples’ job to be a mom and a nurse, but you do it with everything in you, Vi, with your whole heart. You deserve to have someone give you everything in return.”
Rowan’s broad palms smooth the oil over my shoulders, and I can’t help it, a soft moan escapes me as I feel my entire body start to relax.
“You deserve to have someone take care of you.”
“No one has ever tried,” I say without thinking.
“Well, then it’s a good thing I’m here then, because I plan to every single day.”
I sit, sipping my wine to try to swallow down the thick emotion as Rowan takes his time, working his magic fingers into my aching muscles, ridding my shoulders, my neck, and my upper back of every single knot.
“When we fight fires, we always look for the next part of the blaze coming up the ridge. There’s never just one, there’s almost always two. Twin flames. One feeds off the other, they support each other, they help each other grow.”
He bends down to kiss my shoulder, then pulls the clip from my hair. It all comes tumbling down and it feels so good to be loose.
“They connect on a level so deep they just know what the other needs, rolling through the trees together. That’s what I want to be for you, Violette, but you have to let me…” Rowan’s hands slide up over the nape of my neck, massaging gently, and I feel the tears fill my eyes. Even now, after he’s shown me time and time again how amazing he is, the pang of fear still holds me back.
He bends down to kiss my neck. “Let me be your twin flame, love.”
“I’m trying,” I whisper.
“I’ll do all the work; you just need to get used to someone being a place you can land.”
I have no idea how long we sit here in silence for but through it all, his hands never tire. The breeze and the glow from the fire give my living room a magical feel. I let my head tip backward, nuzzling even deeper between his thighs, barely grazing his cock and I can feel he’s hard. I smile with my eyes closed when I notice.
Rowan chuckles. “You’re topless in front of me in this light, what do you expect?”
A lot has been said tonight through his touch and our words, and suddenly all I want is to be in his arms. I brush my shoulder against his cock again and I feel him shudder.
“Turn a bit,” he says, and I oblige, angling my body so I’m nestled right up against him. My shoulder brushes against the rock-hard bulge in his jeans, as I look up at him. His eyes are dark; the way they get when he wants me. He massages my scalp through my hair even further, his heavy hands feel exotic as they work. I shift again, keeping my eyes on his as he works without relent, moving downward to my neck again, to my collarbone, to the front of my chest as he lightens his touch so the pads of his fingers gently sweep across my neck. I instantly break out in goosebumps, my breath quickens, and my lips part.
“Careful, Vi,” he warns. “I’m doing my best to make this all about you but I’m one touch away from pulling you right into my lap.” He smirks that addicting lopsided grin, and suddenly I’m feeling just relaxed and tipsy enough that I want nothing more than to push him past his breaking point. I nuzzle in more, offering his cock some attention with my shoulder and drop my gaze, licking my lips at the sight of him so hard and ready to please me. The lethal look in his eyes is a shot straight to my core.
“Maybe I want to be in your lap.”
His mouth is instantly on mine, and before I can see what’s coming, I’m being hoisted up and he’s pulling my pants from my body, unbuckling his own jeans and freeing his hardened, aching cock before pulling me onto his lap. I yelp as he strong arms me and a low growl leaves his chest.
“You asked for it, woman,” he says gruffly as he slides his hand down and yanks my thong out of the way. His cock slides through my arousal and he groans before he kisses me deeply. We stare at each other for a few moments as “Wanna Be Loved” by The Red Clay Strays begins to play. The slow twang of the guitar fills the air and both of us breath hot and heavy.
These few seconds feel significant, like we’re speaking with touch instead of words. I lean down slightly, licking his bottom lip, and it tips him over the edge. I watch his shoulders flex as he reaches up to palm my face, pulling my lips to his. His tongue slips between mine and I meet it with my own. We kiss, uncontrolled, urgent. The taste of wine on my lips mixes with him and he tastes like home after this hard day, this week, forever.
Rowan’s hands slide around me, running the length of my back to my hips where he kneads my flesh, before gripping my ass and slowly sliding my wetness all over him. He never breaks his kiss as he lifts me just enough to push the tip of his thick and solid cock inside me.
I know without a doubt, as he begins his slow sink into me, that I will never want a man the way I want Rowan Kingsley, the way I’ve always wanted him. This feeling overwhelms me. The feeling of being whole when he’s inside me. Rowan bites the skin along my shoulders, kissing over the sting he leaves in his wake.
“I have a hard time deciding whether I want to be gentle with you or fucking claim you…it’s almost fucking impossible to decide,” he mutters into my neck. “I’ve never needed someone like I need you, Vi. Never wanted someone…like I want you.”
“I want you too…so fucking badly,” I moan as the last brick in the wall I’ve spent years building around me crumbles.
Rowan takes the peak of my nipple into his mouth, and my core throbs with pleasure. All the while his hands never stop moving, feverishly, like he’s learning every part of me for the first time as he inches his way inside me, stretching me. I’ll never get used to the way he fills me.
“Claim me and kiss me…I want you. I want it all .”
“I’m already yours and you’re mine, Violette. In every way that matters, you always have been.”
He groans with his next thrust “Mine.”
Things begin to move in a slow haze around us, the light from the fireplace casts shadows on our skin that make the whole space around us feel magical and the breeze blows through the open window. The only sounds are the soft music and us. Rowan trails kisses down my neck, and I lose my train of thought, thinking only of his hands, his lips, and our bodies moving together in the dimly lit room. My chest heaves as we swallow down each other’s sounds while Rowan lays his claim to me. Our lips part and I suck in a breath while we both adjust to the heavy feeling in the air. As Rowan sets his pace looking up at me in his arms I feel it, stronger than I’ve ever felt it. In his arms, I’m home.