Chapter 11
Ian
Stalking across the parking lot of the office building that houses Nash Security, I take the final swig of my coffee and, with more force than necessary, chuck it into the garbage can right outside the office building.
The dream I had last night replays in my mind.
Maggie and I were together at a cabin in the mountains.
There was snow on the ground and a fire crackling in the fireplace as I buried my head between her legs.
I woke up with her taste in my mouth and the sounds she made as she came in my ears, and my dick hard as hell.
When I stepped into that coffee shop, another thing I can’t do without thinking of Maggie, my heart nearly stopped. It was like the universe gave me that dream so that when I saw her today, I would be desperate. The need to make that dream a reality was so strong that I could think of little else.
Then she lied to me.
Well, I’m pretty sure she lied to me. Though if I’m being completely honest, it could be the anger or the jealousy making me think irrationally.
Of course, I couldn’t tell her why I thought she was lying.
I just happened to be driving through her apartment parking lot when I saw a man enter her apartment yesterday.
I hadn’t been planning on staying, but the second the door shut behind him, I whipped into a parking spot that allowed me to see when he left.
I was shocked when he didn’t stay long because if that were me, it would’ve had to be a major natural disaster occurring right outside to pull me away so quickly.
It crossed my mind to follow him to find out more about this douche who was with my woman, but I figured I should limit my stalking to just one person at a time.
I stayed for another ten minutes, then drove home. Angry. Frustrated. Horny for one woman, and one woman only. And while I’ll never admit it to anyone, I was sad at the thought of her going out of town with that dickhead who’d never be good enough for her.
Not that I’m good enough for her, either.
Clearing that from my mind, I step out of the elevator into the open office space of Nash Security.
Our office takes up the entirety of the sixth floor of an older office building on the west side of Nashville.
Numerous desks are set up to the right of the floor, and on the left, a small waiting area and our breakroom.
There’s a conference room and four offices against the back wall.
One is empty, and Jack, Nate, and I use the other three.
The sun shines through the large windows. I glare at the brightness as I cross the space to my office. It should be cloudy and gloomy to match my mood. The sun is making me grumpier.
“Hey, Ian!” Ella’s voice calls out from across the office.
She’s stepping out of Jack’s office with a smile as bright as the offending sunlight. For a few months now, she’s been our office manager after our last one retired.
“Hi, Ella. How are you doing?” I attempt to sound at least a little happier than I feel, but I know I fail when she frowns at me.
“You okay?”
I give a curt nod, and she eyes me skeptically.
“Okay, well, there are muffins and cookies in the breakroom if you want any.”
Ella’s an amazing baker and supplies us with treats regularly. But I’m not in the mood for them right now, the onslaught of emotions making my stomach revolt.
“Thanks for letting me know. I’m going to pass.”
She frowns again and opens her mouth to most likely question me further, but she’s interrupted by Tyler calling my name from the door of the conference room. “Ian. Where’s my coffee?”
“Shit.” Seeing Maggie made me forget that I told Tyler I would pick him up a coffee on my way to the office. “I’m sorry, man. I forgot.”
Tyler gives me an annoyed glare, then sighs and tilts his head back toward the conference room behind him. “Come on. Jack wants to meet with us to discuss a few upcoming jobs.”
I follow him into the office, patting his shoulder in apology as he takes a seat. Dropping into the chair next to him, I cross my hands on my stomach and lean back, waiting for the meeting to start. There are a few of the other guys already seated around the table.
Jack’s typing something on his phone as Nate enters the room and shuts the door behind him. “I think everyone’s here, so we can get started.”
Jack finally looks up and sets his phone down on the table next to the folder in front of him.
Nate takes the chair next to him and glances around at the group.
“The last year has brought in a lot of new business. It isn’t giving any indication of slowing down.
” He smiles at the newest guys. “We’ve brought on some great new employees, and we’ll be looking to hire more in the coming months.
Jack will go over the jobs that are on the books for the next two weeks and who will be assigned to each. ”
As his voice fills the conference room, my mind wanders back to Maggie.
Despite my frustration that she not only lied to me about it but is actually dating someone else, I can’t deny how gorgeous she looked.
Not that her outfit was anything special—it was just black leggings and a tight black T-shirt—but it made my mouth water thinking of what was underneath.
It’s been six months, and I can’t get her out of my mind.
I wish I could figure out why, so I could somehow reverse it.
No matter what Pamela says, there’s no way I deserve to be loved the way the month with Maggie gave me a glimpse of. And her eventual words to me proved that.
In the last few years of working at Nash, it’s been the first time in my life that I’ve seen healthy relationships besides a few of my friends’ parents. It’s been eye-opening, but I always worried it was too late for me.
And then I met Maggie.
During that month, I started to think—no, hope—that I was wrong. I became a different version of myself. One I was unfamiliar with, but one I was excited to embrace.
I felt my walls being dismantled with every minute I spent with her.
Something about her sparked a feeling that I’d never experienced before—gratitude that I was alive when so many others weren’t.
It was a long way from the man I was when, at nineteen, I watched my father murder my mother, and I was too weak to stop him.
“Ian, you and Matt are going to be meeting with a new client tomorrow. It’s a high-profile politician who’s looking for security for some events he has coming up. Apparently, a lot of people don’t like some of his policies.”
I nod and look over at Matt. His face is serious and blank, which isn’t unusual for him.
Last year, he was shot while working a job with Tyler.
The man who shot him went on to kidnap Ella.
It was a pretty awful time for all of us.
But Matt is a good guy, and I’m glad we’ll be working on this job together.
“I’ll send you both over all the information for you to review prior to the meeting.” Jack continues.
“You got it, boss.” I pop forward in my chair and place my elbows on the table.
Jack throws me a pointed look. He hates it when I call him boss. I do it because I love getting under his skin, but also, a part of me, that I don’t like to acknowledge, does it because I want a reminder, maybe for both of us, that I don’t own the company, and he’s my boss.
I came to work for Nash maybe six months after Nate and Jack started it.
For the longest time, it was just the three of us and our old receptionist and office manager, Alice.
I respect the hell out of both of them, but it does eat at me a little that I’ve busted my ass just as much as they have to build this company to what it is.
My heart skips a beat when Maggie’s words slither through my memory. I still don’t think I can express how much her arguing that I should be a partner in the company by now meant to me. It made me want her even more, and thinking back to that now, it still has a hold on me.
“Ian? You good with that?”
I mentally shake myself, realizing that I zoned out and stopped listening. I look at Jack, not really knowing what he’s referring to, but I’m sure I’ll find out at some point soon. “Yep, works for me.”
His expression makes it clear he knows I have no idea what he said, but he doesn’t call me out on it, just finishes the meeting and dismisses everyone, except me. “Ian, can you stay for a few?”
Once everyone else has exited, I shift in my seat, uncomfortable with the way Jack is watching me with a guarded stare.
“What’s up, boss?”
With narrowed eyes, he reprimands, “Ian, cut that shit. I’ve told you to stop calling me that.”
I give an annoyed shrug. “That’s what you are.”
I don’t have time for this. My schedule is filled with thinking of Maggie and trying not to lose my mind.
He sighs, the chair creaking as he leans forward and places his forearms on the table, his hands clasped tight. “I don’t really know how to say this, but we’re all concerned.”
My hands clench into fists so hard my forearms ache with the strain. “No need for that.”
“The last few months, you’ve just seemed like something is going on, and we care about you. I speak for everyone when I say, we’re all here for you.”
That has my tension loosening. Even after all these years, this is also something I’m still getting used to.
I exhale a long breath before replying, “I appreciate that. I’m just working through some shit.”
And that isn’t a lie. Between my sessions with Pamela and my attempts to resolve my feelings about Maggie, one way or another, I know I’ve been a bigger dick than I usually am.
When I notice he’s still looking at me curiously, I add, “Tell Ella she can stop worrying about me, too.”
Jack’s face splits into a grin. “Well, you know that isn’t going to happen, so you might as well get used to it.”
I give a curt nod as a reply, but don’t admit I don’t hate it.