Chapter 19
Maggie
Isuck in a surprised breath when arms circle my waist as I’m replacing the coffeepot. Goosebumps slip across my still-damp skin. I came out to get a cup of coffee with only a towel wrapped around me while Ian finished in the shower. Ian’s lips tickle my neck as I lean back into his solid body.
“I don’t want to go to work,” he murmurs against my skin.
I sigh. “I don’t want you to go either.”
Spinning me gently, he kisses me until we’re both clinging to each other. He rests his forehead on mine, his breath minty across my face.
After a few moments, he releases me to reach for a coffee cup in the cupboard behind my head and asks, “What time do you go in?”
I try to move away from him, but his hand goes to my waist to keep me close.
“Eleven.”
His thumb traces a hypnotic path on my side while he pours his coffee. Taking a sip, he shifts to lean against the counter and pulls me to stand in front of him. A small smile quirks his lips as he watches me.
“What?” I ask, getting self-conscious under his intense inspection.
“It still gets to me how beautiful you are.”
I roll my eyes, taking a small step away from him. “You’re just saying that because you want to see me without my clothes on.”
He smirks as he shakes his head. “You’re wrong.”
My eyebrows jump in mock shock, not being able to resist teasing him. “So, you don’t want to see me naked? Noted.”
Before I have a chance to react, he stands tall and grips my chin. My heart stutters a beat at the bolt of arousal. He tilts my face up, his face clearing of any smile, his usual overly serious expression back in place.
“Baby, there are very few things I want more in this life than seeing you naked. It’s a sight I’ll never tire of. Got it?”
His grip on my chin makes it harder to nod, so I only manage a small one before he pulls my face up to meet his in a bruising kiss. As quickly as he captures my face, he releases me, and I waver a little as I recover from the lust that consumes me with every one of his touches.
With his smile back in place, he takes another sip of his coffee and asks, “What time do you get off work?”
“Six, but I’m meeting up with Ella and Olive tonight. We are having a girls’ night.”
He nods, then gets serious again when he commands, “You’ll call me if you need a ride. I want you to have fun. I’ll come get you, no matter what.”
I shake my head as I look up at him. “Ian, I don’t want to bother you.”
“Maggie, you’re never a bother. Call me. I’ll come get you if you need me, too.”
Loving how protected I feel with him, even when it comes to something as simple as getting home from dinner, I relent. “Okay, I’ll call you. I probably won’t need a ride. I think we’re just doing dinner.”
He shrugs. “Then you’ll text me when you get home.”
“Okay, fine. I will.” I worry my lip, feeling a bit nervous as I ask, “When do I get to see you again?”
Ian grips my chin again, and with his thumb, he gets me to release my lip to run his thumb over it. “I’ll give you tonight. But that’s as long as I can promise to stay away.”
My stomach flips with excitement and trepidation.
I don’t want to be away from him, and yet, I can’t deny the fear that I’m once again making a terrible decision that will have detrimental impacts on my life.
I hate that I’m finding myself in a place that has me stuck between two impossible decisions.
Being without Ian seems almost as incomprehensible as being with him, knowing the consequences that could come of that.
Right now, I just need to take this day by day. Who knows? Maybe Ian will decide he doesn’t actually forgive me and break things off with me himself. While I know I’d deserve it, my heart feels like it’s being ripped from my chest at the thought.
I swallow down the feelings clashing in my body, knowing the only thing that’ll make this better is that Ian knows how much I care about him, regardless of how our relationship progresses.
“Another round, ladies?” Our waiter claps his hands as he approaches our table, his voice excessively bright and cheery.
We all smile at each other and nod enthusiastically.
Jack and Ella ended up giving me a ride so that I didn’t have to worry about it.
Jack said he would pick us up, and Nate is coming back for Olive.
I’m sad that I didn’t ask Ian to drive me, even though he told me he would.
But I don’t know if Jack knows we reconnected, and I don’t want to tell him before Ian is ready.
Besides, it’s not exactly like we have a label for what we are.
I’m certainly not going to let it slip to his friends that we hooked up.
Before the waiter leaves, Olive asks him some questions about the desserts. While they’re talking, I check my phone. My stomach jumps when I see a text from Ian.
Ian: Beautiful, I hope you’re having a fun night.
My cheeks heat as I bite my lip to hold back my smile.
“What’s happening over there?” Ella’s voice has my hand dropping to my lap and my head popping up.
“Oh, nothing, really.” I try to act as nonchalant as possible.
She gives me a knowing smile. “Uh huh, sure it’s nothing.”
Olive leans across the table, her eyes wide with excitement. “Oh my goodness, yes. Is it Ian?”
I press my palms to my cheeks as they heat even more, laughing through my discomfort. I should’ve known this would come up after the Fourth of July party.
“If I tell you, can you promise not to tell Jack and Nate?”
“No,” they both say in unison, and we all laugh.
“I just want Ian to be able to tell them in his own time,” I explain.
Ella glances at Olive, and they share a look. When Ella looks back at me, she nods. “Fair enough. We’ll give Ian enough time to tell them himself. Knowing them, it won’t be long.”
Olive agrees quickly. “Yeah, though I wonder about Ian. He’s so quiet and broody.” She levels her stare at me. “So…I don’t know the backstory. Why don’t you start at the beginning?”
“Technically, I don’t know the backstory either. I’ve been patient long enough. Time to spill all your dirty little secrets.”
I swallow hard, wishing I could truly spill all my secrets, but it’s a relief to at least get to share this.
“Well, last year, I met Ian at a bar.” I hesitate before continuing.
I’m not ashamed of sleeping with someone the first night I meet them, and I don’t think Ella would judge me, but I haven’t known Olive for very long.
I decide to just go for it. “And we slept together that night.”
The nervousness leaves me when both their faces break into wide grins.
“Good for both of you,” Ella says approvingly.
I smile back. “It was amazing, and we spent almost every night together for a month.”
Ella’s mouth pops open in surprise. “A month? What the hell happened?”
Pressing my lips together, I inhale deeply through my nose. “I, uh, got scared. And I said some things that I regret. After that, I didn’t see him again until that night at Jack’s.”
Olive, sensing my distress, reaches across the table and squeezes my forearm. “We all do things in relationships that we regret. No one’s perfect.”
“Thank you.” The knot in my stomach loosens. “I’m glad I got to apologize to him last night.”
“Wait, so what happened last night?” Ella asks.
“Uh, well, at your party, he asked me out. So, we went to dinner last night.”
Olive wags her eyebrows at me. “Just dinner?”
I laugh and shake my head. “No, not just dinner.”
Ella does an excited dance in her chair. “This is so exciting for me. I love Ian. He’s such a great guy. And I love you. I’m so happy the universe put us all together.”
“It’s pretty crazy how that all worked out,” I comment thoughtfully.
I’ve always thought everything happened for a reason. And when I was going through the worst time of my life with my ex and my past life, I started to doubt it, but maybe everything really did need to happen the way it did to bring me to this moment.
The rest of the evening is exactly what I needed. I’m so glad to have Ella and Olive in my life. By the time I left Chicago, all my friends had abandoned me. Not that I blamed them, but having genuine relationships is something I’d been missing for even longer than I’d like to admit.
I’m still smiling as I walk up the stairs of my apartment building after Jack and Ella drop me off. The only thing that would make this night better is if Ian were here with me.
Once I’m in my apartment, I quickly get ready for bed and climb under the covers. I unlock my phone and pull up my texts.
Me: At home and in bed. I had an amazing night, but wish you were here.
Almost immediately, dots appear.
Ian: You have no idea how much I wish I were in bed with you right now.
Arousal has my skin prickling, thinking about what we would be doing if he were in bed with me.
Ian: Go to sleep, beautiful. I would say sweet dreams…but I hope your dreams are dirty as fuck and filled with me. Just like you were last night.
A small whimper leaves my lips, even if I know he can’t hear me.
Me: Well, great. Now I’m horny and not tired at all.
I stare at my phone for a few moments. Disappointment tightens my chest when Ian doesn’t reply. Placing my phone on the nightstand, I roll away to lie on my side. I squeeze my eyes shut, commanding myself to fall asleep until I hear my phone vibrate from the nightstand.
Ian: Come answer your door.
I read the text again, confused.
Answer my door?
A yelp rips from my chest when a loud knock sounds through my apartment. I scramble out of bed and rush to the door. As I whip open the door, Ian is standing outside, his gaze filled with an intense desire that has my lungs seizing for a moment.
He steps inside, and as soon as the door closes behind him, he reaches behind him and locks it. Giving me a small smile, he explains, “I was just going to make sure you got home safe.”
I scrunch my nose, still confused about how he’s here. “Were you in the parking lot?”
One shoulder lifts in a shrug. “Jack mentioned he was taking you home. I was going to park until you got inside. You looked gorgeous, by the way.”
I huff a laugh. “Why didn’t you just pick me up?”
He frowns. “I was trying not to be demanding.”
Narrowing my eyes, I stare at him, our conversations from this morning when he demanded I call him if I need a ride, and for me to text when I’m home, coming back to me. Then, a thought occurs to me that flushes my cheeks with embarrassment.
What if he didn’t want Jack to know about us?
Since I’m on a roll of being mostly honest, I admit, “I told Ella and Olive about us.”
Ian’s tongue drags across his bottom lip. “Let’s go to bed.”
My insecurities don’t go away, but I push them aside as I lead him back to my bedroom. I don’t want to waste a night with him after just getting him back in my life. I hope one day he’ll be proud to be with me, even after everything I did to him.