Chapter 38
Maggie
Ihug my mom once again. My long-ago broken heart mends a little as her familiar perfume surrounds me. The last two hours have been a dream come true. I don’t want it to end. But I know we can’t stay in this office building forever.
“Maggie, I love you so much. Please don’t ever forget that.”
Anguish at having to leave them again makes it difficult to breathe. My voice is a whisper as I say, “I don’t want to leave you. What if I never see you again?”
My mom grips my shoulders and moves me away from her so I can see her face. “Maggie, I can’t believe we went through all of this, and made it this far, never to see each other again. The universe wouldn’t do that to us. We’re always a family. It just might look a little different going forward.”
I sniff and nod. “I love you.”
She pulls me into what I know will be one last hug for who knows how long.
I fight the urge to apologize again for making decisions that put us in this situation.
I lost count of how many times I begged my family for forgiveness during the time we’ve been together.
Each time, I was told to stop apologizing, and that they understood why I did what I did and didn’t blame me.
I don’t know how that’s possible. Out of everyone in this room, I’m the one who caused this pain for all of us. But I love them all for trying to ease my guilt.
After tearfully hugging the rest of my family, Ian leads me outside.
I attempt to disguise my crying, but with every shaky breath, Ian squeezes my hand in silent support.
He helps me into the passenger seat and buckles me in.
Cupping my cheeks, his thumbs gently wipe tears off my cheeks, only to have them replaced with new ones.
The expression on his face as he searches mine is an equal mix of concern and torment.
I want to reassure him, but it’s hard for words to form.
He kisses me on the lips, then closes the door.
I take a few deep breaths as he rounds the front of the vehicle and climbs inside.
He doesn’t push me to talk. His hand goes to my thigh as he pulls out of the parking lot, and he lets me cry all the way to the hotel.
When he turns off the engine, he stares out the windshield but doesn’t remove his hand from me.
After a few moments of silence, he shifts in his seat and asks, “I didn’t fuck this up, did I? Is seeing them going to make being away from them even harder?”
My affection for him expands exponentially. Not only for making something I feared would never happen a reality, but for caring enough to recognize how hard it is to leave them, not knowing when I’ll see them again.
I grip his forearm tightly. “Ian, I’ll never be able to explain to you how much this meant to me.
I think about my family every day. Wondered if they hated me.
If my parents were disappointed in me. If they regretted having me.
Today brought me so much more than my family.
It brought me comfort and forgiveness. And reminded me that the people who love us the most will continue to love us even when we fuck up so incredibly bad. ”
I end the sentence with a small smile, and he gives me a sad one in return.
“You’re so fucking amazing. You know that?” he comments thoughtfully.
My smile grows, and I lean across the middle console, planting a big kiss on his cheek.
“Can we go get checked in? I would love nothing more than to take a long, hot shower.”
“Anything for you, beautiful.”
When Ian says that, I believe it with all my heart. And the feeling is mutual.
Getting checked into the hotel is quick, and it isn’t long before I’m stripping down and walking into the most luxurious hotel shower I’ve ever seen.
Given the state of the suite Ian booked, I shouldn’t be surprised about the shower.
There are multiple showerheads and a never-ending supply of hot water.
When we got to the room, I asked Ian if he wanted to join me, but after a searing kiss, he told me he had some calls to make and to take my time. As much as I love being with him, I’m glad to have a few moments to myself to decompress after the day.
My heart clenches as I recall each laugh and tear I shared with my family.
I wouldn’t trade seeing them for anything, but having such a short time together makes the thought of not knowing when I’ll see them again break my heart all over again.
Regardless of when that day comes, I’ll forever cherish this gift that Ian gave me.
Pushing the glass door open, I startle when I notice Ian leaning against the sink. His arms are crossed over the chest that’s now my favorite pillow. He’s still dressed in his jeans and T-shirt, his expression heated yet cautious.
Without a word, he grabs a towel and closes the distance between us.
“How was the shower?” He unfolds the towel slowly and wraps it around me just as a shiver slips down my damp, naked body.
“It was so relaxing. Exactly what I needed. And I definitely need that body wash they have. It smells amazing.”
His hands are running over my body, helping to dry me.
He bends, and his nose nuzzles my neck. Giggling with a squirm in response to the tickle, I try to move away from him.
One arm goes around my waist and pulls me against him.
With his nose still to my neck, he inhales deeply.
Goosebumps erupt on my skin, and it isn’t from having just gotten out of the shower.
“You’re right. That does smell amazing.” His tongue runs up my neck until he’s nibbling on my earlobe.
My hands sneak out from under the towel wrapped around my shoulders to grab his waist, holding myself steady.
Just when I’m about to drop my towel, he kisses me right below my ear, and then straightens to his full height. “There’s a robe on the back of the door. And I think the lotion over there is the same scent as the body wash, if you want to use it. Dinner should be here soon.”
He kisses me on my forehead and leaves me alone. My lips wrap around my teeth as I bite back my smile.
I could get used to this.
After wrapping me up in the fluffy hotel robe and quickly brushing out my hair, he guides me out of the bathroom and directs me to climb into bed.
I sit cross-legged, taking in the suite Ian booked more fully than when we first arrived, and it’s stunning.
I don’t know how long we get to stay here, but I hope it’s for at least a couple of days so we can relax.
Knowing we can’t stay too long since Jack and Ella’s wedding is coming up.
“Hope you’re hungry. I didn’t know what you were in the mood for, so I think I ordered one of everything, including the desserts.” Ian wheels in an overloaded room service cart.
“Oh, my goodness, Ian,” I say with a laugh. “That’s so much food.”
He gives a sheepish shrug. “I wanted you to have whatever you want, but I didn’t want to bother you.”
When he’s close enough, I capture his hand and pull him onto the bed beside me.
I throw my arms around his neck and kiss him.
He grunts and deepens the kiss, his tongue coaxing my lips apart.
Tipping me back onto the bed, his hand slips beneath the robe, fingertips grazing my skin before cupping my breast. I moan into his mouth as he pinches my nipple.
He pulls back with a groan and studies my face, his fingers still toying with my nipple.
I wiggle underneath him, trying to spur him along. “Ian, I’m going to smother you in your sleep if you stop again. Between the bathroom and now, I’m a little desperate here.”
A cocky smirk pulls at his lips. “That’s a risk I’m going to have to take.” He sits up and pulls me with him until we are back in our original positions. “We’ve barely eaten today.”
I sigh, tamping down the lust lighting up inside me and begrudgingly agree. “Fine, but the second we’re done…”
“That ass is mine.”
I huff a laugh. “Tell me you got a burger.”
He throws a look over his shoulder as if he’s insulted that I would doubt him. It takes him a few seconds to find the right plate, and then he hands it to me. “Do you want some condiments? I asked them to include whatever they have.”
“Can I have some mayo?”
He glances at my plate and back at me. “For your burger, right?”
“Yes…but also my fries.”
He grimaces. “I think I’m rethinking this whole us thing. That might be a dealbreaker.”
I punch him lightly in the shoulder. “I’ll have you know, I used to be friends with a chef, and he told me that eating fries with mayo indicated I have a sophisticated palate.”
Ian examines each plate, deciding what his dinner will be. “You sure he didn’t just want to get in your pants?”
I shrug and dunk a fry into the mayo. “Maybe. But he’s also probably right.”
When he finally makes his selection, he settles back on the bed with his back against the headboard and clears his throat. “How are you feeling after today and now that you’ve had a little time to process everything?”
Swallowing the bite of the burger I’m chewing, I wipe my mouth to give myself a few seconds to gather my thoughts. “Learning about them also going into Witness Protection…I don’t know how I feel about that.”
One of the most shocking things from today was finding out that after I was moved to Nashville, the feds decided it was too dangerous for my family not to follow me into Witness Protection, which makes sense.
My stomach sank when I found that out, partly because I didn’t know why they weren’t moved to the same place I was.
My dad explained that they were told it was safer for now if we weren’t in the same city, but that we might all be able to live close to each other, eventually.
Ian runs his hand down my back. “But they’re safe, and that’s the most important thing.”
I nod, knowing he’s right. As scary as the alternative is, it gives me a glimmer of hope that we could all be together again.
“Do you think Pamela would sit down with me again?” I ask hesitantly.
“She’d absolutely be willing to sit down with you again, beautiful.”
His resoluteness gives me solace. Knowing I have someone to talk to professionally, even if it’s just one more time—because I don’t want her to feel like I’m taking advantage of her kindness—makes the onslaught of emotions flowing through me more manageable.
I set my plate on the bed and crawl next to Ian. Cuddling up to his side, I resume eating. He steals a fry and leans into me.
All those feelings are tomorrow’s problem. Tonight, I want to enjoy spending time with Ian, because who knows when we’ll get another chance to get away from Nashville?