Chapter 20
The first morning Flora woke at The Refuge, she walked over to the main building and was a little overwhelmed, but she saw Jasna who waved her over. They sat at a table away from other people and Jasna talked to her about what she was studying and what she wanted to do with her life.
“Growing up, I was told that my only job was to please my husband and raise his babies. Honestly, I always bristled at that directive. It’s one of the things that made me escape.
I just couldn’t imagine life was that narrow.
I watched the birds and other wild animals, and they had freedom. I wanted that.”
“Were you just going to live in the wilderness?”
Flora nodded. “It sounded better than being married to some old guy my father picked. The community was very restrictive. There were so many rules we had to follow.” When they were almost done eating she had another question for Jasna.
“I have therapy with someone called Henley in an hour. Do you know her?”
Jasna’s smile grew bigger. “Yes. She’s my mom. She’s great. I mean, when I was a teenager I thought it was awful having a mom who was a therapists, but she’s wonderful. She’ll be able to help you.”
“I hope so. I want to figure out what to do with my life.”
“Well, this place is great for thinking. Go on the hikes.”
“Oh my goodness, I have hiking boots. Of course that’s not a big deal for you, but in the community, women weren’t allowed to wear shoes. When it snowed, we could have leather moccasins that would keep us from getting frostbite, but no shoes.”
“I’m so happy for you that you have shoes now. That must be exciting.”
Flora nodded as tears came to her eyes. Jasna reached across the table and squeezed her hand.
“Are you okay?” Jasna asked.
“Yes, it’s just you’re being nice and not everyone is. You’ve not made fun of me once.”
Jasna smiled. “Both of my parents taught me to be kind and respectful. We all have things that suck in our lives and you can’t judge anyone for what happened to them.”
“Thank you. It makes me feel better about being here.”
“Well, I’ll be here for a few more days before I go back. I’d love to chat with you again. If you’re up to it and you see me here at the main cabin, come over and chat.”
“Thank you.”
“Sure, anytime.”
Flora cleared her tray and stepped outside, wanting to get some fresh air before her therapy session. Henley found her outside on the porch.
“Hello, you’re Flora, right?”
Flora stood from the chair she’d been sitting in. “Yes, I’m Flora.”
“I’m Henley. Usually we sit in my office for sessions, but would you rather walk around this time?”
Flora nodded. “Yes.”
“This way. We’ll walk over to the barns and look at the animals.”
“Thank you. I met Tonka and Jasna.”
“Tonka said you were at the barn. It’s nice to connect with animals.”
Flora nodded. “I wasn’t allowed to do much with the animals, but I liked having them around. You know, they are nice to watch.”
“They are.”
They walked for a moment in silence and Flora felt like she might burst because of the questions dying to come out. When they’d gone about a hundred feet she stopped and Henley stopped, too.
“I know nothing. I mean I have friends helping me, and I’ve watched some documentaries, and I’ve read some stuff, but I feel like I’ll never know enough to live in this world.”
Henley smiled. “It’s usual to feel overwhelmed when you come out of a situation like you were in.
This place is healing. You’ll have a few more sessions with me, and some group sessions, also hiking time, and you can talk to people.
Learn their perspectives. Not everyone here wants to talk, so ask them before you start talking with them, but the group here these two weeks you are here are good.
They’ve had some interesting life experiences. ”
Flora nodded. “Being around people is hard for me. Some weeks I wouldn’t see anyone other than my father. We were discouraged from having friends. Sometimes it’s hard to open up. Jasna was nice.”
“She is a good person.”
“Thank you for this.”
“Of course. We want you to heal some while you’re here. You’ll learn some things you can do on your own, and hopefully when you go home, you’ll understand life a little better.”
Flora nodded, thinking she would. Already meeting Jasna had helped so much.
The woman was around her age but had been raised in a totally different environment.
She wanted to spend more time listening to her stories.
Tonka was nice, and Henley was great. She felt like she could grow here, which was exactly why she’d come.
The days at The Refuge had started off long, but by the end of her first week she realized one more week here would be very short. She liked everyone who worked at the place, and many of the guests were nice.
She got Jasna’s email address, which was just so funny to her that people could communicate by writing something on their phone or in their computer and it would get to the other person. She didn’t understand it but trusted it would work.
Learning to meditate and how to calm down when she felt overwhelmed would help her in the future. She wasn’t sure what her future would hold, but she was sure Q would be a huge part of her life.