15.
LYING AWAKE IN BED HOURS LATER, I START TO WONDER IF I’LL EVER BE ABLE TO SLEEP LIKE A NORMAL PERSON AGAIN. PROBABLY NOT UNTIL THIS WHOLE MESS IS OVER
I sigh eventually giving up and getting out of bed. I toss on a pair of yoga pants, and a flannel, and pull my hair up in a ponytail after splashing cold water on my face.
Liam, Dagger, and Ryder.
“What are you doing, Laina?” I mutter to myself glancing at my reflection staring back at me
Maybe I’ve been here too long or there’s something in the air. I leave the bathroom and shove on my boots to go for a walk and get some fresh air.
It’s a lie because deep down, I know I’m just hoping to see one of the guys. Well, except for Ash. He’s the only one I don’t want to see.
My mind still tangled in knots, I move on autopilot, letting my feet carry me toward the common room
MY MIND STILL TANGLED IN KNOTS, I MOVE ON AUTOPILOT, LETTING MY FEET CARRY ME TOWARD THE COMMON ROOM
That’s when I hear them.
What now?
Sharp, low voices cut through the silence. I move toward the sound slowing my steps. The door to one of the back rooms is cracked open, spilling into the hallway. As I get closer, I recognize the voices immediately.
Ash. Ryder. Dagger. Liam.
They’re arguing.
I press myself against the wall just outside the doorway, my heart hammering.
“This is reckless, Ash,” Dagger is saying sounding frustrated. “We should be taking the fight to Reynolds, not sitting around waiting for him to make a move.”
“And what, exactly, would you have us do?” Ash fires back. “You want us to run in blind, guns blazing? That’s how people get killed.”
“People are gonna get killed anyway,” Ryder snaps. “That’s what Reynolds does. He tears people apart, and right now, we’re letting him stay one step ahead. We don’t even know who's working for him.”
“We’re keeping our people alive,” Ash growls. “That’s the priority.”
I swallow hard, curls of unease swirling in my stomach.
Then, another voice I don’t recognize cuts through the tension.
“Your priority should be the club, Ash. Not her.”
The silence that follows is suffocating.
I press myself harder against the wall, my chest tightening. I know they’re talking about me.
“Watch yourself,” Ash warns, his voice dangerously low.
“No, you watch yourself,” the man—whoever he is—fires back. I want to peek through the crack and look, but I can’t risk being seen. “You’re putting all of us in the line of fire for one girl. For what? Because you feel bad for her? Because you want to fuck her?”
“She didn’t ask for this,” Liam says coldly. “None of this is her fault.”
“But it’s our problem now, isn’t it?” the man shoots back. “Reynolds wants her. And as long as she’s here, we’ve got a damn target on our backs.”
A chair scrapes against the floor, hard enough to make me flinch.
“You think kicking her out will fix that?” Ash’s voice is controlled, but there’s an edge to it, the kind that makes my skin prickle. “Do you think Reynolds will just forget about her? About us? Are you really that stupid?”
“No, but I think keeping her here is a mistake. She’s not one of us, Ash. And she never will be.”
Ryder lets out a dry laugh, “And what do you think happens when Reynolds gets her? You think he stops at her? You think he doesn’t come for us next?”
The silence stretches too long.
I shouldn’t be listening to this. I should turn around, go back to my room, and pretend I didn’t hear any of it. But I can’t. I have to say something, even if I’m nothing more than an outsider.
I take a deep breath to steady myself, and before I can talk myself out of it, I step into the room.
Every pair of eyes turns to me at once.
Ash is standing with his arms crossed at the head of the table, his jaw tight. Ryder is leaning back in his chair, his expression unreadable. Dagger is tense, his hands braced against the table like he’s seconds away from punching something.
And then there’s the other guy—the one who made it painfully clear what he thinks of me. His gaze flicks over me dismissively, like I’m hardly worth his time.
“Don’t stop on my account,” I say coolly.
Ash exhales sharply, running a hand over his face. “Laina?—”
“No, really,” I cut him off, folding my arms. “Please continue, I’d love to hear more about how I’m single-handedly ruining your lives.”
No one speaks.
The man who started it all leans back in his chair, his mouth twisting into a smug line. He’s older than the guys, his dark brown hair threaded with gray. His light, honey-colored eyes narrow in distaste. “You are a problem, sweetheart,” he says. “That’s just the truth.”
I don’t flinch. I don’t let him see how deep his words cut. “You sound scared,” I say instead.
I can feel Ash’s eyes digging into my skull and I wonder if I’ve gone too far.
The guy’s expression darkens and he sneers, “I’m not scared of you.”
“No,” I agree. “You’re scared of him. Of Reynolds and what happens next.” I let the words settle before adding, “And I don’t blame you. He’s terrifying.”
His jaw clenches.
“But let’s be clear,” I continue, stepping forward, my voice unwavering. “Reynolds isn’t coming for you. He’s coming for me. And if you think throwing me out is going to stop that, then you’re the problem, not me.”
Silence.
Dagger watches me carefully; his expression unreadable while Ryder smirks, like he’s enjoying the show.
Ash just looks pissed. Not that I blame him, this is the second meeting I’ve barged into.
But it’s too late to back down.
“So,” I continue, “if you’re going to sit here and whine about how much danger I’ve brought to your doorstep, at least be honest with yourselves. This was never just about me.”
Ash’s eyes burn into mine. “Are you done?”
I lift my chin. “That depends. Are you planning on making more decisions about my life without me?”
More silence.
Then, finally, Ash looks away, exhaling sharply. “Get out.”
My stomach twists, shit I’ve messed up. With an effort, I keep my face blank. “Excuse me?”
“I said get the fuck out,” he repeats tightly. “Before you say something else that’s going to piss me off.”
Without another word I turn and walk out, slamming the door behind me.
And this time, I don’t look back.
I storm down the hallway, my pulse hammering, my fists clenched so tight my nails dig into my palms. My whole body is coursing with adrenaline, anger, and something else I don’t want to name.
Ash is a bastard. A cold, calculating, insufferable bastard. And yet?—
I blow out a deep breath, pushing the thought away before it can sink its claws in too deep.
I don’t know what the hell I’m doing anymore.
One second, I’m standing my ground, telling off a bunch of bikers for assuming they can decide my fate, and the next, I’m questioning everything. I have feelings for them in a way that makes me hate myself a little. But Ash?
He’s a different story.
I want to punch him, and maybe I want to kiss him too. Which makes me hate him and myself even more.
My feet move on instinct, leading me away from those assholes. I need to get out of here, just for a little while. But where? I could go to Izzy, crash at her place, and clear my head. I don’t know if it’ll help, but right now, I don’t have a better idea.
As I reach the stairs leading up to the apartment upstairs, my mind is still racing. Maybe Izzy will talk some sense into me. Maybe she’ll remind me that this whole thing—Ash, the Dead Demons, everything—isn’t my fight. Maybe she’ll tell me to run, and for once, I’ll actually listen.
But before I can reach the door, I run straight into someone.
I barely register the impact before I stumble back. My eyes snap up as I steady myself. I’m about to apologize when I see her.
Tessa.
She’s standing in front of me, arms crossed, one hip cocked like she owns the whole damn world. Her dark eyes flick over me, taking in every detail, my expression, my stance, my outfit; even the way I’m still slightly off balance from crashing into her.
She doesn’t look impressed.
I swallow hard, my breath catching in my throat.
“Well,” she says, her voice smooth and unreadable. “Aren’t you full of surprises.”
And just like that, I forget all about Izzy.
Tessa tilts her head, studying me like I’m a problem she’s already figured out.
I don’t like it.
I square my shoulders and force myself to hold her gaze. “Sorry about that,” I say politely, “I was lost in my head.”
She smirks, slow and knowing. “It’s fine. Are they done yet?” Her gaze flicks past me toward the main building before settling back on me.
“I don’t know.”
“I figured I’d wait until the boys were done fighting over you before making my entrance.”
My stomach twists into knots, but I don’t let it show. “That’s not what was happening.”
She laughs, low and sharp. Her eyes gleam like she knows something I don’t.
“Oh, sweetheart, that’s exactly what was happening.”
I grit my teeth. I don’t know what I was expecting from her, but whatever it was, it sure as hell wasn’t this.
She takes a few steps closer and stops just short of crowding my space, but close enough that I catch the faint scent of perfume under the lingering smell of cigarette smoke. Her smirk fades, replaced by something colder.
“Do you even know what you’re doing here?” she asks, her tone quieter now, almost pitying.
I stiffen. “I know exactly what I’m doing.”
“No, you don’t. You think these guys give a shit about you? That you’re anything more than a problem they haven’t figured out how to get rid of yet? Something for them to play and use. Fuck when they want.”
I swallow hard, but I keep my face blank. “You don’t know me.”
“I know enough.” Her eyes darken, and she leans in slightly. “I know Ash. And I know he doesn’t do anything unless it benefits him.”
My heart beats a little harder, screw being polite. I force out a dry laugh. “Right. And you’re what? His biggest regret?”
Tessa’s expression flickers for a fraction of a second—just enough for me to see the crack beneath all that confidence. But then her mask slips back and her lips curve into a cruel smile.
“I’m the one who left him first,” she says, her voice cool and unbothered. “You should try it sometime. Before he throws you to the wolves.”
“That’s not what’s happening here.”
She lets out a sigh like she was exhausted by my stupidity. “Then you’re even dumber than I thought.”
“You’re threatened by me.”
That makes her laugh again, but there’s something brittle in it this time.
“Please. If you knew the first thing about Ash, you’d realize he’s not capable of caring about anyone but himself.” She tilts her head, her dark hair spilling over one shoulder. “But don’t take my word for it. Stick around. See how fast he turns on you when it’s convenient.”
I hate that her words sink their claws into me.
Hate that she’s voicing the exact fear that’s been sitting at the edge of my mind since the second I realized I was in way too deep.
“You don’t know what’s going on with Ash.”
“Oh, honey,” she murmurs, her voice soft, almost gentle. “He’s all I know.”
A thick, suffocating silence stretches between us.
Then she steps back, giving me a once-over like she’s already dismissed me. “Do yourself a favor,” she says, slipping her hands into her pockets. “Get out before they decide what to do with you. Because it’s not going to end the way you think it will.”
I stay silent, my nails digging into my palms.
Tessa sighs and rolls her eyes like I’m a lost cause she’s already bored of.
I turn to leave, but her voice follows me, smooth and laced with something sharp. “You think you’re different, don’t you?”
I stop, but I don’t turn around.
“You think Ash gives a damn about you?” she presses. Her tone turns cruel like she can sense the crack in my armor and wants to twist the knife in deeper. “You think he’s not just keeping you around until you’re useful to him?”
“He’s protecting me. They all are.”
She laughs sounding both bitter and amused. “Oh, sweetheart. No. He’s protecting his club. You? You’re just leverage.”
I whip around, my blood running hot. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t I?” She steps closer and her voice drops low sounding almost conspiratorial, “Let me guess, you’ve had your moments, haven’t you? He looks at you like he actually sees you. Like maybe, just maybe, you mean something. Maybe you could be different.” She tilts her head, her dark eyes gleaming. “And then, the second you push too far, the second you show even a little defiance, he shuts you down and pushes you out. Reminds you exactly who’s in charge.”
I swallow hard, her words hitting home.
She sees it, smirks, and keeps going.
“I’ve been where you are, Laina. Thinking I was special. That I mattered.” Her expression hardens, all trace of amusement gone. “But I didn’t and neither do you. He’ll use you to get what he wants. And what he wants is revenge.”
I listen to her words with a pounding heart. My hands trembling with frustration and anger.
“You think they’ll come for you when this all goes to hell?” she asks. “You think Ash, Ryder, Liam, any of them, are going to put you before the club?” She steps so close that I can feel the heat of her breath when she says, “You’re disposable. The sooner you realize that the better off you’ll be.”
I want to tell her she’s wrong.
I need to tell her she’s wrong.
But the words won’t come.
Because deep down, there’s a part of me that knows she might be right.
And I hate that.
Tessa watches me, daring me to argue. When I don’t, she sighs in satisfaction and steps back. “Like I said. I can drive you out of here. Take you home to that cute little apartment in the city.”
I swallow down the lump in my throat and shake my head. “I don’t need your help.”
She shrugs like she doesn’t care either way. “Then I suggest you figure out whose help you do need. Because you don’t have a lot of options left.”
I don’t say anything. I just turn and walk away, my steps quick and unsteady as I head for the stairs.
I need to get out of here and clear my head.
And right now, there’s only one place I can think of.
The Hellfire Riders.
They were my first instinct before Tessa got into my head, and now? Now they feel like my only option.
I don’t stop. I don’t hesitate.
I just go.