17. Benji
17
BENJI
T his is a nightmare. I can’t fucking stand this. Being locked in this room with armed goddamn guards outside, refusing to let me anywhere, is killer. It doesn’t help that I’m still in agony, but I could work through that shit for Cassie. I could do anything for her. She’s been gone for far too long and it’s freaking me out. I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t know what they want with her. Obviously, whatever their initial plan was, I fucked it up by killing Alex and dragging her away, so now… I don’t know.
Even worse, I’m struggling to get through to Max. I’ve sent off some messages so he knows I’m in danger, and he already knows where I am, but I haven’t had anything reciprocated. I don’t understand, this isn’t like him at all. Usually, he’s scarily on top of things, but this time, it’s different and I don’t know why. I hope it doesn’t mean Max has given up on us.
“No,” I hiss to myself as my hands curl around into fists. “No, he wouldn’t give up. Never, and I can’t either.”
I just need to figure out how I’m going to leave this room without being shot. I’m no good to Cassie dead. But I also can’t just sit the fuck around and wait for them to do whatever they want to her. I’m glad she took a moment to get dressed, but it still puts me on edge knowing they have complete control over her. The things that could be happening are horrific.
“Stop it!” I bang the sides of my head, desperately trying to rid my brain of any unwelcome images. “No, stop it.”
But my brain keeps flooding me with the sorts of things that I definitely don’t want to consider when it comes to Cassie. I need her to be okay, to be alive, to be unharmed. It might be insane since we only just met, but my feelings for her are undeniable. It isn’t just a magnetic pull between us. It’s something much deeper than that. Almost destiny. We are meant to be. I need her back in my arms, back in my heart so I can treat her the way she should be for as long as she will allow me to.
Sure, I suppose I know it won’t be forever. She will eventually be ripped from me and taken back to her own life, but at least I know then that the woman I have all these feelings for will be safe and really cared for. She will be okay once more.
I pace the room. My feet can’t remain still as the ice-cold panic zig-zags through me. If there weren’t gang members every fucking where around this place, I could be out by now and with her, saving her. Somehow, I just know that waiting here’s the wrong thing to do, but I honestly don’t know any other way. I can’t see both of us getting out alive. Or either of us…
“Benji, you’re okay.” All of a sudden, the motel door flings open, and almost as if it’s happening in a dream, Cassie comes flying through it. She looks hurt and covered in dirt all over again, but thank God she’s alive. “I thought they hurt you.”
She flies into my arms as the door slams closed once more, locking us back inside but thankfully, together, and I hold her tight. Both of our hearts hammer violently, but mine is pounding because of happiness as well as terror.
“What did they do to you?” she gushes while pulling back to look at my face. “I saw them beating on you…”
“I’ve had worse,” I reply honestly while also trying to play down my pain a bit. She has enough to worry about. “I’m okay. I can get through anything, you know me. But what did they do to you? I hated not being able to get to you. It was horrible.”
“I had to record a kidnapping video,” she tells me morosely. “You know, with a newspaper and everything. For my dad. Only, they aren’t going to send it to my father. It’s going to the media to make a public spectacle out of things. The gang thinks that will make him more willing to pay up because he has some bullshit public image to maintain. They’re doing it now.”
“I’m sorry.” I understand why this is breaking Cassie, why it’s tearing her apart from the inside out. Not only does this destroy the secrecy around the situation that her family wanted to create, which could cause things to become even more strained than they have already become, but it also means that Cassie’s wishes for a private life will be utterly destroyed. “That’s horrible.”
“And the man stabbed me in the thigh as well for dramatic effect, which hurts like hell.”
She sits back on the bed and slides her trousers down for me to see the injury. Thankfully, using the limited knowledge that I have, it doesn’t look too bad, and I have a first-aid kit so I can try and help her as much as possible.
“I said some stuff in the video as well,” Cassie admits as I get to work on her injury. “Some stuff that sounds bad. I thought that it was only going to my dad, so I made a comment about my life being more important than money. I only said it to hurry him up, but with that shit going out to the press, it’s going to tear us apart. My family are screwed. I have a horrible feeling that even my siblings will hate me after this. I can’t see them ever wanting anything to do with me again.”
She hasn’t told me that her brothers and sisters have been basically her world, the people she really counts as family, but I can read between the lines enough to know. “I’m sure they will understand the duress that you were under.”
I reach up once she’s bandaged and stroke her hand in mine. Our eyes lock together, and I can see the emotions overflowing through her. In this moment, I feel an even deeper connection with Cassie than I’ve ever had before. It’s even more powerful than when we were having sex. This confirms what I already knew, that there’s something there between us. Something that we can’t shy away from even if it’s insane. She and I really do have a bond that will last forever.
“We aren’t going to die here, you know,” I tell her boldly, now confident in my own words. “I won’t let it happen.”
“They told me that if my dad doesn’t do what they want, I don’t stand a chance,” she whispers back. “And I don’t know…”
“Your father will pull through for you. Any father would. And honestly, your life being in danger is more urgent than anything incorrect said in a video or any public image going under. Your life is worth more than any money.” I offer her a smile, which she attempts to return but doesn’t quite make it. “Plus, I’m here. I know this isn’t easy because we’re out numbered, but I can kick ass. I was a Navy SEAL, and now I’m in charge of your life. You will get out of here alive, I promise you that much.” Still, I’m not entirely convinced that she’s totally on board. “Max will have something for us soon. He knows exactly what is going on, and he won’t abandon us. I promise you, we just need to keep holding on for a little bit longer.”
Eventually, Cassie concedes and pulls me up onto the bed with her. I hold her in my arms and whisper comforting words to her. Sadly, I don’t feel her relaxing for even a second, though. The stress is rolling through her in endless waves, stiffening her body and probably making every bit of the pain deep inside her a million times worse. I want to change that. I would do anything for Cassie right now to help her get through this with ease, but I also can’t make it worse.
“Do you think they’ve done it already?” she asks while pulling her head up to glance at me for a moment. “Sent the video out, I mean. I’m so stressed about it being on the TV. I don’t know how I’ll handle it. It’ll be awful. And sitting here helpless while it’s going out on the airwaves, destroying everything… I hate it. It’s making me feel ill.”
“I’m going to try and contact Max to find out,” I assure her, more confidently than I really feel since I haven’t had a response from my other messages yet. But I can’t exactly just sit around and do nothing. “See if he can stop it from going out.”
“Would he be able to do that?” Hope shines in Cassie’s eyes. I really hate putting it there when I don’t know if I can follow it through, but I’ll do my best. “Oh, my God, if he could stop it from going out, then everything would be better.”
“I’ll try, but I can’t guarantee it,” I admit sadly. “But I’ll see if he can at least try and get control of things.”
I don’t feel good as I message Max now. I feel like I’ve given Cassie too much hope that hasn’t panned out as planned today, but I suppose she’s got to understand that while I’m here, I’m pretty much out of control as well. I also pass the message on to Max that Cassie was coerced into saying things that she didn’t mean, which is almost the truth—I mean, she was in a terrible position—in the hope that he will pass that information on to William and the Jones family so they don’t hate her.
“You are amazing,” Cassie gasps once I’m done. “I know that this might not work, but the fact that you’re trying… it’s incredible to me. Thank you so much, Benji. I wouldn’t want to be going through this with anyone else in the world.”
I wasn’t expecting that. She throws me off a little, actually, and I find myself getting choked up. “I would do anything to keep you safe, Cassie,” I tell her thickly. “I don’t want you to be harmed at all, and that’s because I love you.”
Shit, that wasn’t meant to come out. Heat of the moment, stress of the situation or not, that isn’t the sort of thing that you say to someone you barely know. All the air sucks out the room as we stare at one another, wondering what’s next. I probably should try and suck the words back in, but any denial will probably just make things a million times worse. I can’t win here.
“I love you too.” Those words burst from her like she’s been holding them in for far too long. “Oh, Benji. I really do.”
She leaps into my arms once more and kisses me, hard and desperately. There’s some passion there, but a whole lot of desperation as well, a neediness which puts me on edge. I don’t know if this should be happening right now. It’s all so confusing. I mean, I might love her, and she may well feel the same for me as well, but our lives are hanging in the balance and…
Bang! As if to prove my point, the fist gunshot rings out, followed by a whole bunch more. Bang, bang, bang.
Oh, God, here we go again. Cassie leaps off me, knowing that everything is changing all over again, just as I do. Gunshots can’t be good. They can only lead to more disaster, and honestly, I don’t know how much more drama either of us can take.