Chapter 12
CHAPTER TWELVE
Soren
The bathroom filled with steam faster than I expected. Theo stood under the spray, head bowed, water gliding over his skin in rivulets that carried streaks of blood down the drain. Some of it was his. Too much of it.
On the way up here, he told me about Riker saving him before… Before he almost got murdered and I would never have had the chance to be around him again.
My chest ached at the thought.
I wanted to slaughter Patrick all over again.
My jaw tightened as I stepped in behind Theo, closing the glass door with a quiet click.
For a moment, I just watched the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. The way his shoulders still held tension, like his body hadn’t quite realized it was safe yet. The bruises—fading now, but still there—as Dashiel’s healing magic continued working through his system.
My hands curled at my sides.
I had seen centuries of violence. I’d dealt it, endured it, and survived it.
None of it had ever felt like that moment, seeing him covered in blood and—
“Soren.”
His voice was softer than usual, but still rough around the edges, pulling me from the spiral of my thoughts.
I stepped forward without answering, my chest brushing his back as I reached past him to grab the soap.
“Yes, my pet?” I kissed his neck.
“Stop thinkin’ about it.”
No doubt he could feel my emotions from our bond.
“I will try,” I murmured.
Theo didn’t argue. Didn’t joke. Didn’t say any more. He knew it wasn’t possible not to think about how things could have been different. He was just trying to let me know in his own way that it wasn’t worth worrying about or reliving, since he was here, alive and well.
Which was why he simply nodded.
I worked the soap between my hands before setting it aside and placing my palms against his shoulders. He sucked in a quiet breath at the contact.
Slowly and carefully, I began to wash him. The act should have been simple. Routine.
It wasn’t.
Every inch of his skin felt like something I needed to memorize, to reassure myself that he was whole. That he was here. I moved my hands down his arms, over muscle and skin, lingering whenever I found a mark that hadn’t fully healed.
My fingers paused over a bruise along his ribs—faint now, yellowing at the edges where the magic had done its work.
I brushed my thumb over it, my touch light despite the storm coiling inside me. “Does this hurt?” I asked quietly.
Theo shook his head. “Not like before.”
Not like before.
The words settled heavily in my chest.
I moved lower, tracing another mark along his side, then his hip. Each one told a story I didn’t want to hear.
Each one reminded me I hadn’t been fast enough and that if it weren’t for the shifters, there could have been a different outcome.
My throat tightened.
“You shouldn’t have had to go through that,” I said, my voice low, roughened by the still-lingering anger that I couldn’t quite suppress.
Theo slowly turned until he was facing me. Water ran between us, warm and steady, but it did nothing to ease the cold knot inside me.
“Soren,” he said again, firmer this time. His hands came up, and he slid over my arms, grounding me in a way nothing else could.
“Yes, my pet?”
“I love you.”
“Theo—”
“So fuckin’ much, and I was more worried I wouldn’t get to tell you.”
“I still can’t believe you love me even after you saw me rip a head off.”
His gaze held mine, unflinching. “You were protectin’ me.” Theo closed the small distance I’d created. He slid his hand up to my jaw, turning my face back toward him. “I’m not scared of you,” he said quietly. “It was fuckin’ hot.”
The words hit hard and had my next words ripping out of me: “I love you, too, Theo.”
I covered his hand with mine, where it rested against my face, and leaned into it without thinking.
“You matter to me so goddamn much,” Theo added, softer now.
Before I could stop myself, I pulled him closer, sliding my hands around his waist, drawing him flush against me. I pressed my forehead to his as the water continued to fall around us.
For a moment, neither of us spoke.
We didn’t need to.
Theo traced his fingers along the back of my neck, through my damp hair, the touch slow and deliberate.
It was comforting and felt claiming.
I tilted my head slightly, brushing my lips against his. The kiss was gentle at first, but it didn’t stay that way for long.
It couldn’t.
Too much had built between us. There was too much fear, too much relief, too much need, and love.
Theo responded immediately, tightening his hands against my hips as he kissed me back. There was urgency there, but also something deeper. Something steady and sure.
He was alive.
I deepened the kiss and slid my palm up his spine, pulling him closer as if I could fuse us together and never risk losing him again.
When we finally broke apart, Theo rested his forehead against mine again, his breath uneven but his gaze clear. “Soren,” he said quietly.
I hummed in response, not trusting myself to say much more.
“I need to ask you somethin’.”
That got my attention. I pulled back slightly, studying his expression. He gave me a small smile.
“What is it?” I asked.
He hesitated for only a second. “Tell me what it takes to become a vampire.”
The words landed like a stone dropped into still water.
Everything inside me went very, very tense.
“No,” I said immediately.
Theo didn’t flinch. “You didn’t even—”
“No.” My voice was firmer this time, edged with something sharper. “Absolutely not.”
His jaw tightened. “You don’t even know what I’m gonna say.”
“I know enough.”
I stepped back, creating space between us, though every instinct I had screamed against it. This wasn’t a conversation I could have while touching him. Not when my control was already stretched thin.
“It’s not a solution,” I continued. “It’s not a fix for what happened. You’re just worried about me and how I reacted and what I felt. What about you?”
“Me? I want this. I ain’t askin’ just for you,” Theo shot back, his voice rising slightly. “I’m trying to make sure nothin’ like this happens again.”
“You think becoming like me will guarantee that?” I asked, incredulous.
“I think it’ll give me a fighting chance, and wasn’t it you sayin’ at the club the other day that you were worried about the risks that come with being with you?”
He had me there. “I did.”
“And you were right. This world isn’t forgivin’,” he went on. “I walked into it blind, Soren. And today—” His voice faltered for the first time. “Today proved how out of my depth I am.”
“You survived,” I said.
“Barely.”
The word hung between us.
I hated that he wasn’t wrong.
Theo stepped forward again, refusing to let the distance remain. “I don’t want to stand behind you,” he said. “I want to stand beside you.”
Didn’t he see? “You already do.”
“Not like this.” He pressed his hand against my chest, right over my heart. “You’re stronger than anyone I’ve ever seen. Faster. Deadlier. And people will come for you because of it.”
“I can handle that and protect you at the same time. You don’t have to give up your mortality.”
“I know you can protect me,” he said, his gaze softening. “But I want to be able to do the same, and not just with the weapons Deacon gave me. They weren’t enough tonight. The vampires were too fast to track.”
My throat tightened.
“This isn’t just about me feelin’ weak,” he added.
“It really is about me wantin’ to protect you too.
I know I’ll age the same as you with the amulet the council gives fated mates.
You told me that the other day when I was worried about growin’ old and being seen with a young stud at my side.
But I want the strength. I want to be able to take anyone down who even tries to fuck with you in any way. ”
I let out a slow breath, dragging a hand through my wet hair as I tried to find the right words. The right way to make him understand.
“You don’t know what you’re asking,” I said finally.
“Then tell me.”
“It’s not just strength,” I continued, my voice quieter now but no less intense. “It’s hunger. It’s losing parts of yourself. It’s centuries of watching everything you care about change or disappear while you remain the same.”
“I’m not scared of time,” Theo said.
“You should be.”
“I’m more scared of losin’ you.”
The honesty in that hit harder than anything else he’d said.
Silence stretched between us again, thick and heavy.
I studied him—really studied him. The set of his shoulders, the steadiness in his gaze, the absence of fear where there should have been some.
“You would want me to turn you?” I asked quietly.
Theo blinked. “Unless you want someone else to do it?”
“No,” I snarled, fingers digging into his hips as I brushed our cocks against each other. “Mine,” I stated darkly.
He smirked. “Then why ask?”
“I-I don’t know.” And I didn’t. I just need him to be sure this was something he truly desired and he wasn’t only acting from this one situation or from how I’d reacted to it. He’d felt my fear through the bond when I’d seen him covered in blood.
“Soren?” he murmured.
I exhaled slowly. “It’s not something we rush,” I said at last.
Relief flickered across his face, but he didn’t interrupt.
“It’s dangerous,” I continued. “Painful. And once it’s done, there’s no undoing it.”
“I get it.”
“Do you?” I challenged softly.
“Yeah, babe.”
I held his gaze for a long moment, searching for hesitation, but I didn’t find any.
That both reassured me and terrified me in equal measure.
I brushed his damp hair back from his forehead before settling my palm against his cheek.
“You’ll be giving up more than you realize,” I said quietly.
“Maybe,” he admitted. “But I’d be gaining a lot more too.” His lips curved slightly, soft but certain.
“What would you gain?”
“You.”
I shook my head. “You already have me as you are.”
“Yeah, I know. But imagine the things we could get up to in the bedroom when we’re equally matched.”
I blinked and then laughed. “You’re thinking of sex?”
“Sex, feedin’ each other, travellin’, our long lives together doing anythin’ we want.”
“You will have all that from the amulet the council will give you.”
“Babe, I want to be able to protect each other, not just live our lives together. You matter more to me than food, than my brothers, than anythin’ else you can think of to make me question my choice.”
My resolve broke… for now. He sounded so sure. I leaned in, kissing him again, slower this time. Deeper. Not driven by urgency, but by something steadier. Something that felt dangerously close to surrender.
When I pulled back, I rested my forehead against his once more. “We’ll talk about it properly,” I said. “Every part of it. Every risk.”
Theo nodded. “Okay.”
“And if you still want it after that…” I hesitated. The weight of the promise sat heavy on my tongue. “I’ll do it,” I finished quietly.
Theo’s breath hitched. “Thank you, Soren.”
“Just make sure you’re 100 percent certain before giving me an answer after we speak about it some more.”
“Promise, baby. Now, you think we got time to fool around before going back down to help?”
My cock throbbed as I tightened my hole around nothing, wanting him inside me.
“We’ll make time,” I told him.