Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Spade
After we’d come home from dinner with Riker and his family the other day, Soren had sat me down and we’d made a pros-and-cons list. It was amusing that he thought the cons would outweigh the pros.
They hadn’t, of course, because the simple answer—and one I wrote in bold letters—was that he was my everything, and my need to protect him as much as he did me was strong and important to me.
A few more days had passed before Soren brought up the subject of turning me again. I didn’t think it was because he’d been avoiding it, but more that he was thinking. Maybe he was even planning.
So, when he stood in front of me in his living room after we’d just spent the night downstairs in his club, I could see that familiar intensity in his eyes.
This was it.
“I’ll do it.”
My chest tightened with anticipation.
“With one condition,” Soren added, his voice steady and controlled, telling me this mattered more than he was letting on.
I stepped closer, sliding my hands onto his hips. “Anythin’.”
His gaze searched mine as if he was looking for hesitation or doubt, but he wouldn’t find any.
“You don’t go into this blind,” he said. “You need to understand every part of it. The pain of the turn. The hunger afterward. The control that will slip.”
“I do.” We’d touched on it when we’d been writing the list, and he’d told me to put it down on the cons side.
He shook his head and said quietly, “You don’t. Not fully. But you will.”
I nodded once. “I’m all ears, babe. Tell me.”
A beat passed before he exhaled slowly. “It’ll feel like your whole body is on fire, burning from the inside out, and you’ll think it lasts forever. Then, the hunger…. It’s like nothing else you’ve felt. It gnaws at you until you fulfill it, and that could take some time.”
“I get it. But you’ll help me through it.”
He nodded once. “Theo, I’ll have to completely drain you of your blood,” he said. “As close to death as I can take you without losing you.”
My pulse kicked. He was scared of the risk, but I believed with every damn fiber of myself that it’d work. He was an elder and powerful. He would bring me back. “And then?” I pressed.
“Then I’ll give you my blood,” he said. “Enough to change you. Enough to bring you back.”
The bond flickered with unease.
I stepped closer, closing the space between us, lifting my hand to his cheek. “You won’t lose me,” I said quietly.
He covered my hand with his, holding it there. “You don’t know that.”
“I know you, babe,” I countered.
That silenced him for a moment. Until he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and said, “I’m not lying, pet. This will be agony.”
“I’ve been through a lot. I can handle this.”
His jaw flexed.
“Soren, I know you’re worried, but I’m not. I have complete faith in you and your power. We’ve got this, babe. I wouldn’t ask you to do this if there was a chance I wouldn’t pull through. I will because I’ll be with you.”
He slid his hand down my arms to take my hands so he could press his forehead to my shoulder. “I love you.”
“Love you, too, babe. Always.” I ran a hand up and down his back. “Was there anythin’ else you want me to know?”
“I want you to consider moving in here with me.”
I grinned. “Babe, I was gonna start leavin’ my shit here whether you liked it or not.”
And by the warm look he gave me and his pleased smile, I knew he clearly liked the idea.
“But,” I added, “I’ll keep a room at the compound open for me in case we have a big night there and need to crash.”
He nodded. “Perfect.”
“Speakin’ of the club and brothers… how long will I have to stay away from humans until I’m under control?”
His fingers grazed my jaw before he pressed a palm against my beating heart.
“It will depend on how well you take to the change. I’ll be giving you both my blood and human blood.
I have been told by other masters that it does help the newly changed gain control quicker.
I’ll let your family know you won’t be around until you can handle it. ”
My brows rose. “When were you thinkin’ of doin’ this?”
He straightened and gave me a small, hesitant smile with a shrug. “Now. If you’re ready.”
I didn’t hesitate. “Fuck yeah, I am.” I grinned, and he leaned in to kiss me. Opening up, I deepened the kiss, taking his mouth slow, showing him how much this meant to me.
He pulled away, took my hand, and led me to his bed.
“We’re doin’ it here?” I asked.
“This is the best place for it.”
“Won’t it wreck your sheets or mattress?”
A soft snort left him. “I am a tidy eater. Decades of experience. I won’t lose a drop.” Soon after he said that, his lips thinned, and I could feel the worry rising through the bond.
“Babe, you’ve got this,” I told him, pressing my lips to his in a quick kiss.
He straightened. “I do. Please lie down,” he said.
My heart beat faster now as I did, my body catching up to the reality of it even if my mind was already decided.
Soren moved to sit beside me, slower than usual. His hand came to my jaw, tilting my head slightly, exposing my throat.
My pulse jumped under his fingers.
“You can still stop this,” he said quietly.
I met his gaze. “You know I won’t.”
Something in his expression shifted as his resolve locked into place. “Then I’ll try to make this as fast as I can. I promise I’ll be here the whole time.”
“I know you will. If I do or say anything while I’m out of it, don’t take anythin’ to heart. I love you, and I mean that with my whole soul.”
“I love you more than anything, pet.”
He leaned in, and the moment his fangs pierced my skin, it stung like it always did. Sharp and immediate. But it didn’t stay that way.
The pain melted into heat, into pressure and pleasure, then into something deeper as he began to drink deep.
The bond surged.
I felt his focus, his restraint, his will, the way he was holding himself back even as instinct pushed him forward.
It grounded me.
Even as everything else started to slip.
My body grew heavy first.
Then I felt light.
My heartbeat slowed—each thud weaker than the last.
Soren wrapped his arm around me, holding me in place, steadying me as he fed.
Then everything started to fade. “Soren…,” I murmured, though I wasn’t sure if the sound actually came out.
I felt his response in the tight squeeze. It told me, I’ve got you. But the bond carried it through my system, too, strong and certain.
The world dimmed even more as my body gave in and my last heartbeat echoed loudly in my ears.
A sudden, painful burn forced its way into my subconscious. Liquid fire poured through my veins, sharp and overwhelming. A silent scream ripped through my mind as the pain lashed over every inch of my body, again and again.
It didn’t ease. It didn’t pause.
It consumed.
Every nerve ending screamed as the heat surged deeper, brighter, and stronger, like I was being broken apart and reformed all at once.
And I couldn’t do anything but suffer.
What seemed like hours—or weeks or years—later, a coolness touched my throat and washed away the agony, dragging me back into my body with a violent jolt.
I gasped as awareness slammed back into place, nearly choking on the blood filling my mouth.
Blood.
I blinked open my eyes and wrapped my arms around the half-naked man hovering over me, holding me down while giving me exactly what I needed from his throat.
Mate.
My fated.
Soren.
It was his blood saving me from that inferno.
Instinct took over. I swallowed over and over, settling against the mattress while running my palms over his smooth, soft skin. My cock thickened from the touch and closeness of my mate.
Power rushed through me, flooding every part of me.
Until I felt full.
When I did, I withdrew my fangs—holy fuck, I have fangs—from Soren’s neck and whispered, “Babe?”
When he slowly shifted away, the light seemed too sharp. Too bright. I squinted, yet I could still make out the grain in the wood across the room, the faint crack in the ceiling, even the individual specks of dust hanging in the air.
I blinked, expecting the impossible clarity to fade.
It didn’t.
If anything, the details snapped into even sharper focus.
Yeah, this was going to take some getting used to.
Then sounds cut through next—the slow, steady drip of water somewhere in the house. The faint hum of electricity in the walls. The shift of fabric as someone moved—
Soren.
I turned my head toward him instantly, faster than I meant to, my body reacting before I could think.
And then I could smell him. His scent was of clean skin, blood, and power. It called to something inside of me.
But the more I dragged in through my nose, the more his blood stood out clearer than anything else.
It was rich, thick, alive, and everywhere.
My body reacted violently, muscles tensing as that hollow, gnawing need surged forward, demanding.
Feed.
“Soren—” My voice came out rough, broken, barely controlled.
He was there instantly. “I know, pet,” he said, calm but firm. “Focus on me.”
I tried. I really fucking did, but his scent—his blood—was right there. Calling to the hunger inside me that didn’t care about control or restraint.
Mine.
The thought slammed into me, not entirely my own.
The bond flared, wrapping tight around my chest, anchoring me before the hunger could take over completely.
“Look at me,” Soren ordered.
I did.
It took effort.
But I did.
His face came into focus, and every detail was absolutely clear. The slight tension in his jaw, the way his eyes tracked every movement I made, ready to react.
He wasn’t afraid. More like he was prepared to handle me if I got out of control.
“Breathe,” he said.
“I don’t—” I swallowed hard, brows scrunching. “I don’t need to.”
His expression shifted slightly. “No. But it helps you focus.”
I dragged in a breath anyway.
The scents hit again, but they were softer this time.
“Good,” he murmured.
The hunger still burned, but it wasn’t all-consuming now. Not with Soren around. Not with the bond steadying me, feeding me something other than instinct.
I flexed my fingers, watching them move like they didn’t quite belong to me yet.
Everything felt sharper. Like I already knew I could move faster than I ever had before.
I flicked my gaze back to him when he produced a blood bag. I shook my head. “I don’t need—”
He ripped it open, and I lunged for it, but Soren was there, pushing it against my fangs and holding me as I drank it all down.
As I fed, he explained, “Like I explained, you’ll need human blood as well as mine for a short time to get your hunger under control. It’s okay if you prefer mine over these. I’ll drink enough for the both of us so you can do whatever you prefer. My blood is yours to take whenever you want.”
When I drained the bag, Soren placed it on the bedside table, and I saw at least ten other empty ones. Had they been all for him while I drank his?
“Did you have to replenish that much? I didn’t hurt you or do anythin’, right?”
He kissed the top of my head. “I did, but it never bothered me. And no, pet. You were perfect. I’m in awe of your change. You listened when so many others I’ve seen changed haven’t.”
“Good.” I closed my eyes and added, “I can hear everythin’,” I said, my voice quieter now, steadier. “Smell everythin’. See… too much.”
“You’ll adjust,” he said. “Your brain just needs to sort through it all. Get used to the brighter senses.”
I nodded slowly as the bond pulsed again, softer, like it was reassuring me.
I focused on that and him.
On the one thing that still felt solid in the middle of everything changing.
“I’ll be okay,” I told him after a moment because I could taste his worry.
He glided his fingers through my hair, which felt like fucking heaven. “I know you will be.”
This was a change I wanted. For him. For us. And for me. And I would go through it all again if I had to. Without hesitation.