Chapter 44
MAE
“You’re sure you want to do this?”
Jules usually tutored on Tuesday afternoon, but since her client cancelled, I had a riding partner.
“Absolutely. I’m excited to meet her.”
Last night I got a call from Ellie asking if there was any way I could meet her today.
She had an “unexpected event” and wanted to place her first official order.
After talking to my parents, I spent the rest of the night figuring out pricing since I was going to have to quote her.
Between that and researching names and business cards…
I was almost able to keep my mind off Beck.
Almost.
He texted me, said he was sorry he’d missed me at the inn. But his messages were short and didn’t say anything about meeting up. I told him that I wouldn’t be in today, and he said it wasn’t a problem, that they were covered.
And that was it.
“I find it strange,” I said now as Jules turned off my road. “Beck texted and called after yesterday’s lunch, but since then, he hasn’t said a word about meeting up.”
“Yeah,” Jules said. “That is strange.”
“It doesn’t feel like a conversation I want to have over text but”—I frowned—“I’m thinking to have you drop me off at the bar later, but that’s not really a great place to talk either. I just hate this place we’re in.”
Jules gave me a sidelong glance.
“How are you feeling about the whole thing today?”
I stared out the window. “The same as yesterday at lunch, I guess. But with a little more hesitation. I went there to tell him about the business. To tell him I was ready to see if this could work, between us. And then things went totally sideways. I don’t know, maybe we’re just better off as friends. ”
“Do you really believe that?”
I thought back to two nights ago.
“No. As evidenced by the dream I had last night. It was one of those you remember when you wake up, you know?”
“I do. Last week I had a dream I was renovating my house and forgot to install stairs so I couldn’t get to the second floor. I still remember it clearly.”
I did a double take. “That’s weird. What do you think it means?”
Jules was as woo-woo as they came. She loved all the horoscope, dream stuff so I was certain she had an opinion on it.
“Obviously it has to do with my career. I know where I need to be but just can’t get there.”
I laughed. “Obviously.”
“So what was yours?”
“Uh, new topic.”
Jules’s laugh was as deep and hearty as her personality. “That spicy, huh?”
“Beyond spicy. Honestly, it’s like he woke up some part of me I didn’t even know existed. At this point, if we don’t have sex, I’ll probably spend the rest of my life wondering what it would have been like.”
She said nothing to that. In fact, it wasn’t until we were a few blocks from the bed and breakfast that we talked about Beck again after I glanced at my phone for the umpteenth time and Jules mumbled something about me having it bad.
“I’m so nervous. It feels like I’m pretending to be something I’m not.”
“Mae, you silly girl. You are an award-winning pastry chef. Ellie knows full well you don’t have a business yet. Don’t pretend, just be honest. You can always hear what she has to say and then quote her later. Just give her a good discount for being your first customer.”
“Got it,” I said as she pulled up. “You coming in?”
Jules looked around. “I’m just gonna circle the block since there’s no parking.”
“What about up there?”
“Looks like a handicap.”
I didn’t see any blue lines. Was it me or was Jules acting strange?
“Go, if I find a spot I’ll be in. Good luck.”
“Thanks,” I said, grabbing my purse. I got out, looked up to the house, took a deep breath, and climbed the steps. Sure enough, Ellie was there to greet me, standing in the exact spot she was before.
“Well, hello there,” she said warmly. “It’s good to see you again.”
“You too.” I went to shake her hand but Ellie surprised me by going in for a hug instead. Okay then, a hug it was.
“Thank you for coming up on such short notice.”
I’d wondered about that, at first. Why we couldn’t do this over the phone. Probably a generational thing. Plus, it wasn’t that far, and she was my first official customer.
“My pleasure.”
I waited for her to take the lead.
“Before we talk details, would you mind taking a look upstairs? I’ve been thinking about adding a tea and pastry service up there on weekends, and I’d love your thoughts on the space.”
I loved the idea. “Of course.”
“So we’ve booked a rehearsal party, and they’re interested in a brunch,” she said as we walked up the stairs. A tug in my chest reminded me of that night. How quickly things had changed. One little kiss, and my life had turned upside down.
And I’d do it again.
“The bride is the daughter of a winery on Seneca, and they want to go all out. No expense spared, in their words.”
I had ideas already.
“When is it?” I asked, a familiar hallway looming ahead of us.
“The last weekend of June. Do you think that might work for you?”
“Yes,” I said, hoping I didn’t sound too enthusiastic, even though I wanted to jump out of my skin. This was really happening. I couldn’t wait to tell… Beck. It had always been my first thought when something good happened.
How could I not have seen the signs earlier?
“So this is the room.”
The universe had a sense of humor, apparently. It was Beck’s room from that night. The one I’d crossed the threshold into, having no idea what was in store.
I was surprised she wanted to turn it into a service room. It had looked recently remodeled, perfect for a bedroom.
“I’ll let you go in first,” she said.
Trying not to give Ellie a strange look, as it was an odd thing to say… or maybe it was the way she said it, I walked past her.
And gasped.
It was like a scene out of a movie.
Flowers everywhere.
Pink rose petals, my favorite color, everywhere.
In the middle of it all, Beck. The door clicked behind me as I stepped forward, unable to speak. He wore khakis and a white shirt, his sleeves rolled. He looked… handsome. And nervous.
“How—” I began as he stepped forward.
“I never meant to insinuate you were the kind of person who would lead me on. It’s just that… I’ve loved you my whole life, Mae. And I was bound to screw up trying to make you understand how much. Truth is…”
This couldn’t be happening. How was this even possible?
“You asked why men suck. Some of them just do. But others, myself included, were never taught the words to use to express emotion. Or worse, were taught not to do it at all. So then when we do, we mess it up royally. I can’t speak for all of them, but for me?
I pushed people away before they could decide I wasn’t enough.
Before you could. I didn’t think I deserved the kind of love you wanted.
Still don’t know if I do. But I’m done self-sabotaging before I can find out. ”
I tried to process his words. They were as honest, and raw, as any I’d ever heard coming from Beck.
“You don’t suck,” I managed. “Not by a long shot.”
“Good,” he said. “Please keep that in mind when you give me your answer.”
“Answer to—”
He knelt on one knee before me, eliciting another gasp. Opening a ring box, the most perfectly simple round diamond stared back at me. Beck was asking me to marry him.
“I might not deserve you, but I want you to be my wife anyway. I will spend the rest of my life proving how different I can be from the one you knew before. Mae O’Malley, I’ve loved you since the moment I realized a boy could love a girl. Will you consider becoming my wife?”
His wife.
I didn’t know what to say.
It was the least expected question I could have imagined, coming from him. Which was exactly how I knew the answer. It was surprisingly easy.
He was my best friend.
I loved him too, and always had.
The chemistry between us was electric, and my heart raced as I realized the implications of the word I was about to say.
Looking into his eyes, so Beck could see the sincerity of my answer, I said, “Yes. Yes, yes, yes.”
He couldn’t hide his surprise, a fact I would have to rectify. I’d pushed him away out of fear, and he’d done the same.
No more fear. Just love.
My hand shook as he took it. “It fits, perfectly.”
“Courtesy of your mom. She went with me this morning to pick it out.”
He stood.
“My mom knew? You’re full of surprises today.”
“She did. And your dad too. I got his blessing last night.”
Last night. He’d gone to the bar.
Ohmygod. He’d got my father’s blessing. I was about to be a puddle but Beck pulled me into his arms. I’d been hugged by this man many times before, but never like this. Never as a lover hugs a person he’s just asked to be his wife.
He held on to me as if I could save him from a sinking ship. And maybe I could. Maybe he could save me too. Being wrapped in his arms this way… I’d never felt safer in my life.
Never felt so… sure.
My heart raced as he pulled back to look at me. I understood what he was thinking. Disbelief that had just happened. Joy that the longest, and only, fight we’d ever had was over. Love. And also… knowledge of what would come next.
His gaze dropped to my lips.
Suddenly our text exchange came back to me, and I didn’t want to wait any longer. I raised up on my tiptoes as Beck lowered his lips to mine.
Like the first one, there was no awkwardness.
No learning curve. Our mouths melded and tongues clashed as if we had been kissing forever.
My hands moved to the forearms I always stared at and wanted to touch.
Now, I could. Running my hands along the muscles I’d watched flex as he made drinks, with Beck’s lips on mine… I couldn’t hold back a groan.
That seemed to set him off.
Beck’s slow, lingering kiss became more insistent. And just like that, the slow seduction became an inferno of insistence and tossed clothing. First, he lifted my shirt, our kiss halting as it went over my head.
“Do you know how long I’ve dreamed of this?”
He reached behind my back, and easier than I’d ever managed, Beck’s fingers unclasped my white lace bra. Thank goodness I’d worn a good one. Lifting it over my arms, he looked down, mouth opening, with the most primeval of sounds escaping from him.
“My God, you’re fucking perfect.”
He didn’t waste another second. Both of Beck’s hands covered my breasts as he kissed me again. I couldn’t get his expression from my mind. It was pure… worship.
Do you know how long I’ve dreamed of this?
If I were being honest, I’d imagined it too. Many times. But had quickly put the idea out of my mind, certain we would never work. Certain Beck would only break my heart.
Who could have imagined the opposite were true? That it would be Beck who put it back together?
“I’m going to tear the rest of your clothes off,” he said, pulling away. “Lay you on that bed, and worship every inch of your gorgeous body, Mae.”
Before I could respond, he did just that. Kicking off his own shoes, so I did the same, he unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans and scooted them down. In nothing but a white lace thong, I was as impatient to see him too. Reaching up, I began to unbutton his shirt, Beck watching me.
“Do you have any idea how hard it was to walk away from you that night?”
I was nearly done unbuttoning. “Which one?” I asked, pushing off his shirt.
“Take your pick, but I was thinking specifically of the one at the bar.”
Beck began to unbutton his pants.
“I’d have let you take me right then and there,” I admitted. “Windows and all.”
He pulled them off, taking off his socks too.
“I almost did.”
“Beck,” I said, when we were both down to our underwear. “We are about to see each other totally nude.”
It might have been the most ridiculous thing I’d ever said.
“Mae,” he responded, grinning like he’d just won the lottery, “I am fully aware of the fact.”
With that, he lifted me, and tossed… literally tossed me onto the bed. Squealing, hoping there was no one in that adjoining room, I scooted up to the pillows as he crawled toward me. Biting one edge of my thong, and with one finger under the other side, he removed them.
With his teeth.
Watching him do it, I swallowed, hard. This was Beck we were talking about.
“Perfect,” he said when finished. “Absolutely fucking perfect.”
No one had ever looked at my body with such reverence before.
“That was hot,” I admitted.
That smile. My breath caught.
“Yeah?”
Nodding, I watched as his head descended toward one breast, taking it into his mouth while simultaneously separating my legs. Knowing what he was about to do, I clenched, preparing. Waiting.
He worshiped my body, just as he’d promised.
As he kissed every bit of me on his way down, I reached for the head of hair I’d stared at so many times, wondering how he managed to make it look perfect when I knew for a fact Beck spent very little time getting ready.
Positioning between my legs, opening them wide with hands I’d watched pour a drink or toss a shaker into the air more times than I could count, Beck looked up at me.
“When I said worship, I meant it.”
With that, he licked me from bottom to top. Pulled me open, and licked again. Cheekily, Beck looked at me, our eyes meeting.
I couldn’t breathe. Let alone speak.
When he said worship, it wasn’t a joke. With every touch of his tongue, Beck expertly made my ass jerk from the bed. The sight of him, the feel of him… “If you’re trying to make me come,” I teased, “it’s working.”
“Mmmm,” was his response, as if Beck was licking a freshly baked croissant. “The first time you come,” he said, abruptly stopping and kneeling up, “is going to be with me inside you.”
With that, he sprang himself free. The loss of his perfect mouth, the sight of Beck between my legs, his dick full and hard and right there.
“Beck.” My voice wasn’t even my own. I lifted my arms, welcoming him into me. It seemed he needed no further encouragement. And just like that, Beck eased into me, holding himself up and studying my face as intently as I did his.
“I can’t believe this is happening,” he said, his voice thick. “God damn, Mae, you’re so fucking tight. And wet.”
“For you.”
That put him over the edge.
When he leaned down to kiss me, a beautifully naked Beck thrusted deep as I grabbed his shoulders. We moved just as we’d kissed. With the rhythm and tempo of a well-practiced pastry chef crafting a perfect soufflé. Our bodies slammed together, and stilled. He thrusted and I met him at every turn.
When he lifted his head to look at me, it was all over.
This was Beck.
My life-long friend.
My future husband.
“Come with me,” I pleaded. It was as if he knew exactly what to do, circling in the only way I could possibly come without any other stimulation.
“My pleasure.”
He watched. Waited. Knew the moment the pressure had built and was about to explode. And then buried himself full hilt as the waves began, my ass cheeks clenched, and Beck roared with pleasure.
It wasn’t sex.
Or even making love.
That was… magic.