Chapter 11
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Elise Marshay Hunter
Rashawn’s voice carried a distant chill as he declined the conversation without a second thought.
He couldn’t even bring his eyes to meet mine the entire night, and I couldn’t help but steal glances at him every few minutes.
My silent tears grew worse watching his tall frame bend down to hug Nariyah just before he reached the sliding glass doors.
He was leaving, and my chest heaved harder.
Without Essex bringing us together like he used to before he got with Nariyah, it was possible for Rashawn to avoid me for only God knows how long.
Essex grasped my arms as he peered down at me, asking me what was wrong. He repeated himself at least five times, but my attention was on Rashawn. My brother’s words were a distant background noise.
“Rashawn, I’m sorry!” I shouted as he inched closer to the house.
He paused for a moment, and I stiffened, bracing myself for his response.
“Sorry, can’t fix this shit. Sorry, can’t rebuild my heart and piece it back together. Sorry, can’t bring back what you took from us.”
“I was scared. Essex was going through a lot and then… my parents… I didn’t want to disappoint them,” I explained, rushing towards Rashawn.
Essex was right on my trail but I didn’t care.
My focus was on Rashawn, I had to make things right.
It was too difficult to function without Rashawn in my life.
I was having withdrawals without hearing his voice before I went to bed at night.
My mornings were dreary without a kiss to my forehead or a good morning text.
“Well, you disappointed me,” he continued through the sliding glass doors, and I was right behind him.
“Well, this is some next level dinner and a movie type shit,” Ms. Candace joked in the distance.
“Ma, stop,” Nariyah scolded her.
I really didn’t care about the scene I caused, or who thought what. Nothing would get in the way of me making things right that time.
“Rashawn!”
“What the fuck you want from me, Elise?” Rashawn roared, spinning around to face me in the middle of Essex’s foyer.
“Aye nigga! Ion give a fuck what y’all got going on. We can take it there about Elise. Don’t talk to my sister like that!” Essex argued, brushing me to the side of him.
“Move Essex. Stay out of this!” I shoved him back.
Both men stared at me like I had lost my mind, and maybe I had.
They were both shocked that I was going against Essex at that moment when he was trying to protect me.
Essex’s annoyance was mixed with confusion.
He had an idea, but not the full details, and it was eating him up inside, but I couldn’t focus on that.
“Yeah, please stay out of this,” Rashawn snapped. He opened the door and stormed out.
“I’m serious, this is between us. Mind your business,” I doubled down, trailing Rashawn out the front door. I tried to shut the door on Essex, but he grabbed it and followed us outside.
“Mind my business? After both of y’all being all up in my business for years? Y’all both got some big nuts!” Essex shouted behind me. I couldn’t be bothered to dignify him with a response. All my attention was on his best friend.
Rashawn wasn’t slick; he was trying to get far away from me. His shoulders were rigid as he took long, deliberate strides and cut across Essex’s grass towards his truck. He was moving so swiftly down the inclined yard that he wasn’t centered.
“So y’all going to ruin the party and fuck up my grass?” Essex shouted behind us.
Ignoring Essex, I picked up my pace. I was thankful I’d dressed comfortably in the same outfit I wore to my tournament earlier.
The high waisted wide leg pants, the yellow crop top that stopped right above the top of the jeans, and the yellow Nike Vomeros made it easy for me to move.
Before Rashawn could reach the edge of the grass, I pounced.
My arms slid around his chest, locking just beneath his shoulders before he could brush me off.
Rashawn struggled beneath my grasp, but the hold made it impossible to turn easily, and I already bent my knees into a squat to knock him off balance.
Although he was taller and most definitely stronger, it didn’t matter when I was fueled by angst and rusty wrestling moves.
The world quickly tilted as I guided us to the ground in the middle of the grass.
We came down harder than I intended, but neither of us was dying.
Rashawn emitted a startled breath when we collided with the grass.
A leaf covered my mouth, and I instantly blew it away while I caught my breath.
We were on our sides, and I hurriedly wrapped my legs around Rashawn before he could scramble from beneath my hold.
Thin, damp blades of grass brushed against my neck, and my legs were exposed as my pants slid up.
I silently patted myself on the back for executing the move my girls were focused on in practice that week.
Who knew that the extra practice would actually help in my personal life?
“Essex! Man, get your crazy ass sister off of me!”
“Didn’t y’all tell me to stay out of it?” Essex laughed as Rashawn thrashed within my grasp. Our bodies dug into the soil, and a damp mineral smell rose around us.
“Rashawn, I just want you to listen to me, and then after this, you can never speak to me again if that’s what you choose.”
“Man go ‘head,” he grumbled, relaxing in my embrace.
“I understand why you are upset. I should’ve told you about the abortion. Having it behind your back was wrong.”
“WHATTTTTT!?” Essex screamed from the porch. His voice echoed down the quiet block. I didn’t have to see his face to know that his eyes bulged out of his head when he shouted.
“Go in the house, Essex!” I shrieked.
“You know what. Y’all crazy asses got it!” Essex huffed.
I couldn’t see whether or not Essex left because we were facing his neighbor’s yard, but I didn’t care.
I picked up where Essex had interrupted me, refusing to let him derail the moment.
Whether he stayed or walked away was not my concern.
I was prepared to confess my sins and profess my love to Rashawn in front of the entire world.
“There were so many times I almost told you about the abortion. Especially since we started spending more time together. I was about to tell you that day before my parents barged in. I wanted to make sure you still wanted to move forward with telling Essex that weekend after you knew everything. But I never got the chance to tell you.”
“You killed our baby because you were so afraid of what everyone would think or say. Yeah, I would’ve wanted you to keep the baby, but that’s not even my biggest issue.
It’s the fact that you confided in your parents but not me.
After all we’ve been through, Elise. Deep down, I’ve always felt like you didn’t have confidence in me.
Especially since January, when I laid it all on the line just for you to give me another hoop to jump through like you can’t already see that I’m moving differently. ”
“I’m sorry, Rashawn. I didn’t treat you fairly.
I dropped you off and picked you up when I felt like it.
Holding both of our futures hostage because of my own fears.
Wanting to live up to the expectations my parents ingrained in me, but I’m done with that.
I promise. Honestly, I didn’t even tell anyone about the pregnancy or the abortion.
I just did it. My parents only found out because my emails were still going to their desktop computer, and I didn’t realize it.
They saw the emails confirming the procedure,” I divulged, silent tears streaming down my face.
“That was the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through, and it’s something I deeply regret. ”
“I always felt like you didn’t have confidence in me, and you don’t.
I would’ve respected your decision. I would’ve held your hand during the procedure.
I would’ve taken care of you afterwards.
And then, we would’ve discussed how to avoid an unwanted pregnancy going forward.
I’ve gone all of these years without getting anybody pregnant.
I only moved that reckless with you. But you didn’t have faith in the nigga that kept your secrets for what? Eighteen years?”
“I know I messed up, but I promise I have all faith in you now. I love you, Rashawn. I have so much confidence in you that I’m keeping this baby.
I have confidence that no matter what, you will be there for him or her.
Even if you don’t want me,” I confessed, my voice cracking as I anticipated his response.
“You pregnant?” Rashawn questioned. The bite of Rashawn’s previously cold tone dissipated and his words came out monotonous.
“Yes,” I nodded, my cheek rubbing against his low fade.
My heart galloped in my chest as I anxiously waited for Rashawn’s response to the news.
The silence between us felt suffocating under the starry night sky.
My stomach twisted into knots, similar to how it did while I waited for the results of the pregnancy test two days earlier.
“You pregnant and out here wrestling that nigga to the ground? Clearly, you lost your mind! If you don’t get your ass up!
” Essex’s scolding made me flinch and laugh at the same time.
I should’ve known he hadn’t left me and Rashawn out there alone.
Before I knew it, I was staring up at Essex’s scowling face.
“So y’all not going to get up?” He questioned, but we both ignored him.
I released my grasp on Rashawn, and he turned over in the grass to face me. My nervous system relaxed, and love bloomed in my chest when I saw the corners of his lips curl into a smile. His hand cupped my flat stomach, and my eyes drifted back to the pair of doting pupils staring at me.
Rashawn’s intense gaze moved across my face until they settled on my eyes again.
He was searching for something buried deep in my soul.
If it was the love I had for him, the sincerity of my words, or the fact that I was standing ten toes down behind him moving forward, he’d find all of that plus more.
I was ready to start my forever with him.
His lips crashed into mine, and my hands grasped the sides of his face while I deepened the kiss.
Rashawn’s hands went to my back, and he pulled me in closer to him, my side skidding across the grass and leaves.
An audible aching moan escaped me as we deepened the kiss, our tongues sloppily communicating how much we missed each other.
“Come on, man! In my grass!” Essex groaned, and that time I heard him stomp off before his front door slammed shut.
We laughed, ending the kiss, and Rashawn cupped my chin, forcing my face upward until we were staring into each other’s eyes. “You really want this?”
“Forever and always, Rashawn. I haven’t seen myself with anyone else since my first weekend in college. I’m ready to behave like it. I’m on your time.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yep,” I bubbled, relaxing in the grass. I didn’t care where I was, as long as Rashawn was with me.
“Essex said y’all were in the grass kissing, but I didn’t believe him,” Mrs. Nina squealed.
“Victoria always had her suspicions,” Mr. Jordan chimed in.
Rashawn peered over my shoulder and burst out laughing.
I strained my neck to see as well, and the entire family was outside looking at us.
We sat up in the grass, and Rashawn helped me to my feet.
Once I was on my feet, he dropped to his knees, and Rashawn pulled a necklace from beneath his shirt.
A modest diamond ring dangled from the chain, and he snatched it off, lifting it up towards me.
“What we share is special. It’s rare. I know I’ll never find it again.
I love you. I have loved you since we were eighteen.
You’re my best friend just as much as your brother.
I’m ready to love you out loud for the rest of our lives.
Everything reminded me of you while we were apart, and Ion ever wanna do that shit again.
Elise Marshay Hunter, will you marry me? ”
“Yes!” I shouted, bouncing on the balls of my feet with my hand extended in his direction. “I promise it’s me and you for eternity, Rashawn. I’m ready. The outside noise no longer matters.”
Once the ring was on my finger, Rashawn stood, and I leapt into his arms, wrapping my legs around his waist while I devoured his face.
Loud claps and whistles erupted behind us, but Essex’s shock cut through the noise just as sharply.
He’d have to get used to Rashawn playing the role of his best friend and my husband because we were all family, more now than ever.
“No disrespect, Essex. I was planning to ask you for permission after we told you we were a couple, but we skipped a few steps,” Rashawn yelled at him.
“If you would’ve sprang this on me a few years ago, you would’ve had to run me a fade.
It’s just weird, man. Seeing my sister with anybody is weird.
I guess if it was going to be anybody, I’d prefer it be you.
You know how I’m rocking behind Elise, and you’re probably the most chill I’ve ever seen you in my life.
I know you’ll take good care of her and my niece or nephew. ”
“You know I got them,” Rashawn dapped him up, then glanced down at me.
“You want to get married in Tennessee next weekend? We can take that trip to Tennessee with Essex and Nariyah and tie the knot up there without the waiting period. My mama can skip church for us this one time. We just need to get Nash there because I gotta make jit my best man.”
“Damn, you taking my sister and my son?” Essex nudged him.
“We had a deal. You know that’s my lil nigga.
Plus, he told me on Halloween that he knew we had something going on.
We were planning to tell you that Sunday, after everybody left y’all crib, but then that shit happened with Myron.
We didn’t want to pile too much on at once.
This ain’t about you, though, Essex. This is about my baby.
Do you want to get married next weekend?
Become Mrs. Williams in Tennessee?” Rashawn redirected his attention to me.
“We could get married tonight, and I’ll be happy as long as I get to spend the rest of my life with you,” I cooed, peering up at him.
Rashawn leaned down and pecked my lips before I cuddled up against his chest. He announced our plans to the family, eliciting another round of celebrating that Essex joined in on that time.
The support from our family that mattered was more than I could’ve imagined.
It drowned out all the negativity that wanted to fester in the back of my mind.
I had to live my life for me from that moment forward.