Chapter 4 #2
Brett swallowed hard, turning his gaze back to the princes they were supposed to be focused on.
The whip cracked again, and he felt a shiver run down his spine.
His answer hovered on the tip of his tongue, and for a moment, he considered brushing it off with a joke, a deflection, something safe.
But the heat in Felix’s gaze made him reckless.
“It’s…intense,” Brett admitted finally, though the word felt woefully inadequate to describe what he was feeling. “There’s a level of…control, a trust in each other that’s hard to replicate elsewhere.” He focused on Felix from the corner of his eye, not wanting to fully face him.
Felix licked his lips, and something darkened his eyes. For the first time in a while, Brett couldn’t tell what it was, but it made Felix step closer, stopping in front of him instead of doing his job.
“Felix—”
“Dominic is keeping watch.”
“Dominic isn’t here. And anyway, it doesn’t matter. We still should—”
“I told Dominic to cover because I’d had enough, and I needed to know. I need to know.”
“To know what?” Brett wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer. He wasn’t sure he was strong enough at that moment to hide the truth.
“Would you ever want to try something like that?” Felix asked, his voice dropping to an intimate whisper barely heard over the music. The teasing tone disappeared and sincerity laced his question, a vulnerability Brett hadn’t expected but found he wanted.
Brett’s heart skipped, the air between them growing thick with unspoken possibilities.
He didn’t answer immediately, turning the question over in his mind.
He had always known that there could be more between him and Felix than just their job, more than the camaraderie that came from being partners in their dangerous line of work, but he hadn’t allowed himself to fully explore what that “more” meant.
Until now.
He looked at Felix, really looked at him for the first time in a long time, and saw the desire there, not even partially concealed.
It hit Brett like a punch to the gut, all the fantasies he’d kept locked away rushing to the surface.
He was in love with Felix. Had wanted him for so long that it hurt now he had acknowledged it fully.
But if they crossed that line, if they admitted aloud what they both wanted…there would be no going back. Especially as Brett couldn’t give Felix what he so truly deserved.
“Maybe,” Brett said slowly, his voice rough. He met Felix’s gaze. “But I think the real question is, would you?”
Felix blinked and seemed caught off guard. He opened his mouth to respond, but Brett didn’t give him the chance.
“What do you want from me, Felix? What can you ask for that I’m able to give?” He had little left, not after starting his entire life again from the age of fourteen.
“I want whatever you can give me.”
Brett studied Felix’s expression, the butterflies in his stomach swarming until he felt sick, but not enough to back away from the conversation. A conversation they needed to have, but maybe not there when they were supposed to be working.
“I can’t let you reach so low,” Brett said. “I have barely anything to give anyone, and you deserve the world.”
“Shouldn’t that be my choice?” Felix stepped closer, and Brett breathed him in, his chest aching as he held the scent in his lungs, not wanting to release it.
“I can’t let it be. You’d destroy yourself trying to fix me.”
Felix shook his head. “You don’t need fixing, Brett.” He licked his lips. “You’re perfect for me.”
And that right there was the reason he couldn’t let them happen. He had to protect Felix, especially when he wouldn’t protect himself.
“No, Felix.” He spoke the words through the lump in his throat, wishing he could give them both what they seemed to want. But there was too much at risk. Too much that Felix didn’t know.
Felix visibly wilted and then nodded and stepped back into position. “Understood.”
Silence descended. Well, between them. The sounds of the clubs still echoed through the night, and Brett tuned them out, needing to forget what had been talked about.
When they finally saw the princes to their home, Brett said goodbye to Felix and headed home himself.
He hated the place, but he wasn’t there enough to worry about it, and by the time he had grabbed the little amount of shut-eye he ever got at night, he was up and off to work again.
Rinse and repeat until the end of his life.
Which might be sooner than he thought if whoever was trying to hurt them got their way.
The tension between him and Felix had grown drastically, but they hadn’t let it affect their job.
That was one thing Brett wouldn’t allow.
And as the time came for them to start preparing for Christian and Oscar’s wedding—and by preparing, he didn’t mean what Randall had spent months pouring over; he meant what he and the team had to do—they had barely spoken any words that hadn’t needed to be said.
The run-up to the wedding had purposefully been left fairly clear of events and appointments so the security team had enough time to organise themselves and ensure plans were in place to cover all eventualities that they could think of.
They had been through the same processes for every wedding, and the extra precautions needed for the fact that this was another gay marriage were annoying.
Protestors were inevitable, but Brett wished they weren’t.
That argument was for another day, though.
“So, start with what we’ve already agreed as per the previous weddings, and then we can tweak as needed. Everyone know what they’re doing?” Brett asked the team and received nods in return. “Good. I want this sorted by the end of tomorrow so we can adapt the plans if necessary.”
He turned away, and that was their cue to get moving.
Chairs scraped, conversations started and laughter echoed, but Brett felt no humour.
He hadn’t felt anything close to it since his “chat” with Felix.
And he hated it. Well, he hated the silence between them.
He wasn’t bothered about not laughing. He hoped Felix would forgive him one day, but he would never be able to forgive himself if something happened to him.
And that meant they needed to figure this shit out.
And it also meant he needed to have a conversation he never wanted to have.
“Boss?”
Brett briefly closed his eyes and then turned with a raised eyebrow, hoping his expression came across as inquisitive rather than dismissive.
“We’ve received a message,” Felix said. His tone suggested it wasn’t good news.
“What did it say?”
“‘The trap is set. Those in the line of fire will meet their fate.’”
Brett would’ve never thought his body could’ve felt hot and cold at the same time.
Cold because the words sent a shiver of foreboding down his spine, and warm because anger curdled in his stomach.
He was so sick of this shit being thrown at them.
Whatever happened to just plodding along through life with no complications?
That thought almost had him breaking his no-laughter streak. If he hadn’t wanted complications, he shouldn’t have become a bodyguard.
“Let everyone know to be on the lookout. We might not realise it’s a trap before we’re already in it.”
“Shouldn’t we be concerned?”
“Yes. Keep an eye on your surroundings at all times, Felix. Things are amping up again. I just wish they’d get this over and done with, for fuck’s sake.”
Brett slammed the folder down on the desk and sat in the creaky chair with a sigh.
“Stay safe, Brett,” Felix whispered before exiting the room.
Brett stared after him, wishing he could give some sort of comfort, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t give Felix anything.
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