CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE || BRYAN
W ith Tobias’s words still ringing in my ears, I followed him into Annie’s room.
It seemed immensely strange to me, that we had just barged into a stranger’s hospital room and decided that we were going to fix her. And part of me—a big part, if I’m being perfectly honest—wasn’t entirely sure I believed this was going to work.
What if it didn’t?
Tobias took charge the moment we stepped over the threshold. He pulled the curtains shut, concealing us from anyone who happened to pass by. I hadn’t seen any other nurses, just the one Tobias had used his magic on. But that meant very little. Surely there were others attending to their patients. We pulled up chairs and sat next to Annie, on either side of her. There was a folding chair hanging on the wall beside the door, which Tobias took, and then another chair made of cheap plastic and laminate, which Tobias instructed me to use. After that, he removed the breathing tube from Annie’s mouth.
It was a good thing he was the one to do it, because I don’t know if I could have. She looked so frail lying there on the bed, hooked up to about a half-dozen machines. Her skin looked chalky and entirely too thin. Her hair was a shock of black spread around her head and bony shoulders. Her face had probably been a nice one under normal circumstances: wholesome, kind, friendly. Now, it was unsettling, with skeletal thinness and ghastly hollows. There were deep shadows under Annie’s eyes that were so dark they almost looked like bruises. And her heartbeat was a mere struggling whisper in her chest. Some instinctive part of my vampiric nature, which understood how to decipher the sounds a heart makes, knew she had only a matter of hours left.
Perhaps less than that.
“Then we’d better get to work,” Tobias said.
I felt another small jolt of surprise at the easy way he’d read my mind. It wouldn’t be hard to get used to. Because, strangely, it wasn’t a bad feeling at all, knowing that he could hear my thoughts. It was almost nice, to have another person understand what I wanted and needed, so easily and immediately.
Shaken by this realization, I merely nodded.
With the breathing tube gone, one of the machines seemed to recognize that something was terribly wrong, and a wild beeping filled the room. Tobias silenced it with a spell.
Then he held his hand out to the door. He spoke a few words that I recognized as Latin. There was a sensation around us, almost like the room had depressurized in an instant.
“We’re sealed in here,” he told me, after he’d finished his spell. “No one will interrupt us for the next few minutes at least.”
I found that I was mildly impressed. I hadn’t realized how powerful—or useful—magic was. But I also felt the tiniest bit wary. This side of him wasn’t the warm and sweet man I’d come to know these past few days. It was calm, collected, and decisive. Here, I was seeing a highly trained warlock in action, rather than the man who seemed willing to do anything for me.
“Always remember that they’re the same person,” Tobias said, replying to my unspoken thoughts. He glanced up at me and gave me a small smile. “Any part of me would do just about anything for you, Bryan.” Then he paused and added, “I think we can begin now. Are you ready?”
Though about a million doubts surged up in me, I found that I trusted Tobias completely. And if he thought we could do this, I found that it was easy to believe him.
I nodded.
“Take my hand,” Tobias instructed me, holding out his other hand to me. “I’m going to link our minds and energies. It will help us to share power, so we can work together more effectively.”
I took his hand and held it across the bed, over the blankets covering Annie. His touch was warm, firm, and reassuring.
Then Tobias spoke another spell and my skin dissolved.
Or, at least, that’s what it felt like. It wasn’t unpleasant, exactly, but it was extremely weird. It no longer felt quite like I had a body. Instead, I felt weightless and free, with intoxicating power coursing through me. And I wasn’t alone.
Tobias’s mind was pressed right up against mine so abruptly and completely that I realized that it probably had been all along.
Can you hear me?
His mental voice was clear as a bell and filled with urgency. His mind was beautiful. It was kind, warm, and surprisingly gentle. And filled with light. There was pain there, too. And grief at the losses he’d endured. But those hadn’t twisted him. If anything, they had made him more of who he was.
Bryan. Tobias’s mental voice sent a little jolt through me. I removed the breathing tube from Annie, so if we don’t act quickly, she will die before we can save her. Can you hear me?
His silent words jolted me, causing me to pull back from his mind enough that the world around me seemed to reassert itself. I focused on Annie, listening with my vampiric hearing, and realized he was correct. Annie had stopped breathing.
She was dying.
I can hear you, I told him, sending my thoughts to him as effortlessly as breathing. You’re right. She doesn’t have long. What do we do?
Give her your blood, he told me. Like, a lot of it.
I nodded back at him and, with a small act of will, I caused my fangs to drop. I bit my wrist again, wincing at the sharp sting. Blood so dark that it was nearly black welled up from the wound immediately. I held it to Annie’s mouth, dripping the blood between her lips.
Nothing happened.
She’s not swallowing it. I thought at him desperately. Tobias, why isn’t she swallowing?
She will, Tobias assured me.
Then, I felt a surge of power well up between us. I knew it came from Tobias, but it seemed to draw from me, too. It was like every single nerve ending was buzzing and alive. Then the power gathered itself, traveling between us and into the point of connection where Tobias held Annie’s hand.
There was a single intention infused into the power: that Annie swallow the blood. With our minds joined like this, I didn’t know exactly who had formed it. It was suddenly hard to know where Tobias ended and I began. Perhaps we had both formed the intention at the same time. I felt a sense of wonder as I realized that this is what casting a spell was. It wasn’t really the spooky arcane words Tobias spoke that made reality obey him, it was his intention and power that really made things happen.
The magic, though silent, took effect immediately.
Annie swallowed. I left my wrist where it was. Then she swallowed again. And then, a third time, drinking in more of my blood.
That’s enough, I think.
I nodded, pulling my wrist back. My wound was already closing itself up anyway.
And then I gave a small start as I realized that I could suddenly sense my blood working its way through her. Connected with Tobias in this manner, with our energies pouring into each other and into Annie, I could also feel the power of my blood working its own magic on her ruined body. Wherever it touched, it sparked life.
One after another, her organs and tissues began to awaken and return to their normal function. I wasn’t a doctor, so I couldn’t have told you exactly how I knew that, except that I could sense the deep wrongness within her fixing itself, restoring to health and vitality.
Her heartbeat strengthened. It went from fluttering and weak to steady and strong in a matter of moments. She drew in a shuddering breath and then coughed a few times. Like a reflex, she swallowed. Then she coughed again. After that, she began breathing deeply and evenly.
The chalky pallor left her skin. The sunken hollows remained, but they looked less ghastly with each passing moment. In fact, with each breath she took, my vampiric instincts told me the same thing Tobias’s magic did: she was going to live.
But we’re not done yet. Tobias told me, sounding grim. Her soul has already left her body. We need to go and find it and convince her to come back.
We?
Tobias looked up at me from the other side of the bed and gave me a small smile. Yes, we. We’re deeply connected right now. When I use my power to step out of my body, I’m pretty sure it’ll take you with me.
You’re pretty sure?
I’ve never done this before with anyone except Poppy, he admitted. I’ve never trusted anyone else enough to connect with them in this way. Only you. He paused, then added, do you trust me?
Of course I trusted him. That was a silly question. I nodded.
Tobias let out a small sigh of relief. I could feel some of the tension leave him through the connection we shared.
Then he simply got up and walked out of his body.
I found that I could see it easily. Effortlessly. Tobias in spirit form was translucent but shining with a pale golden light that reminded me of the same white-gold color that the halos of saints are always painted with in renaissance artwork.
More than that, I felt the goodness and the power of him, those things I’d always known were there, but yet muted by flesh. Now, it was impossible not to see him for what he was.
My mate was absolutely breathtaking.
I let out a soft cry of surprise as waves of pure emotion hit me, unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. It was like every part of me had been rubbed raw, so even the tiniest feeling was almost too much.
Tobias drifted closer to me, and I felt a flash of tenderness and amusement from his mind, along with a fierce sensation of protectiveness.
Look down, Bryan.
I did as he asked, and my hand flew to my mouth. I was floating three feet off the floor. My physical body was slumped over in my chair, still holding Tobias’s hand over Annie’s unconscious form.
How?
I told you, he replied. I linked our essence with my spell. It allows us to share our thoughts, emotions, and gifts with each other. You’re experiencing my power right along with me.
You can just do this at will? I couldn’t disguise the wonder that carried through our mental link along with my words.
Yes. Tobias replied, smiling. You want to see the world? We could go anywhere we wanted, any time. Just say the words, and I’ll take you there.
Cheesy, I admonished him. But my wide grin probably softened it.
I looked around the room. It was dimmer, somehow, than it was in the physical world. Like all the light that should have been there was filtered by a sheer curtain or an invisible veil of some sort. Apart from that, the room looked exactly like it did before I left my body. Except, I noticed, as I looked toward the door, there was a symbol hovering there, glowing with a pulsing blue-white light.
Huh. You can see that? Tobias’s mental voice sounded mildly surprised. It took me years of practice to be able to see magic in this state.
Maybe because you can do it, so can I?
Maybe . Or maybe you were a bit psychic before you were turned, and it lets you see things here more clearly. It will make the next part much easier, though. He pointed at Annie’s physical body. Do you see the silver cord connected to her?
I looked in the direction he pointed and saw immediately what he was talking about. There was a gossamer-thin cord of pale light protruding from Annie’s solar plexus. It stretched almost the entire length of the room until it went up and out of the ceiling at an angle.
It’s the connection between Annie’s soul and her body. We need to follow it. Once we do, we’ll find Annie. Then we can convince her to come back.
Tobias held his hand out to me, an offer. I knew I could refuse it. That what was beyond these walls might be a bit frightening for me. Or at least unsettling. That I could become disoriented. I knew these things because Tobias knew them and they were filtering through our mental connection. I knew that, in order for this to work, I had to trust Tobias.
After hesitating for only a moment, I slipped my palm into his.
Tobias locked eyes with me and I felt his fierce gladness through the mental connection. Then he took hold of the silver cord with his other hand and guided us out of the room.
Traveling in spirit form was… strange. It was less like walking or even flying and more like teleportation. As though Tobias simply willed us to be next to Annie.
Her spirit was much like Tobias’s. It was made of pale golden light. And it radiated a sense of calm and peace. When we arrived, she was in a pink bedroom, standing with her back to us, beside a bed that was covered by a Disney princess comforter. The bed was piled high with stuffed animals.
I felt mildly surprised by the location, but I could sense that Tobias wasn’t. The reason why filtered through to me a moment later: it was normal, apparently, for souls to recreate places that had been sources of deep comfort for them in life, once they entered the spirit world. This must have been her childhood bedroom or something.
Hi Annie, Tobias greeted her.
She turned to face us. Based on the expression she wore, she seemed only mildly surprised to find us there, only a few feet from her.
Oh, hi, she said, speaking to us silently. It was similar to the mental voice I could hear from Tobias, except quieter somehow, more muted. And with no emotional content at all connected to her words.
I expected to see a family member or something, she told us. Or a tunnel of light. Or maybe even a grim reaper or something.
We’re not here to take you to what comes next. We’re here to guide you back home.
That did surprise her. She took a step back, away from us. I can’t go back there. There’s so much suffering. Going back isn’t worth it.
I don’t know what possessed me to do it, but I stepped forward. I felt an abrupt sense of overwhelming compassion for her. Because I understood just how she felt. I hadn’t realized until this very moment that on some level I had checked out of living my own life, because I was scared of all the suffering that would come along with it. And because, deep down, I didn’t feel like I deserved to be happy.
But here, weightless and free, I knew those were lies I was telling myself. Those were merely my fears talking, preventing me from happiness. Here, facing Annie’s spirit, I knew that I was wrong.
There will be some suffering when you go back, I admitted. Because that’s life—there’s suffering. And it’s okay to be a little afraid of it sometimes. But there’s also joy and there’s excitement. And there’s so much left to do, isn’t there? There are people to fall in love with. There are places to see. There are new experiences to have. There are people out there who need you, Annie. Even if they don’t know it yet.
Something went softer in Annie’s face. Are you an angel?
I smiled at that. I’m about as far from being an angel as it gets. I’m just a person, like you. But I can promise you, it is worth it to live, even if it hurts sometimes.
I realized, even as I spoke the words, that they were true. I really believed what I was saying. I wanted to try to live again.
Tobias was strangely silent, watching us. I could sense a building emotion inside of him, like a storm he was barely keeping at bay. A fierce gladness. Protectiveness. Tenderness. A sense of overwhelming rightness and joy.
And, because that was exactly right, I couldn’t help but feel it, too.
But the doctors said that I wouldn’t wake up.
We’re not angels, but we’re not regular people either, Tobias told her. Bryan healed your body. His blood is magic. When you go back, you’ll be as good as new. I promise.
Annie looked at me for confirmation and I nodded.
Will you come back? I asked, holding out my hand.
You’re safe with us, Tobias added.
Annie hesitated for an instant, looking between Tobias and me. Something she saw on our faces seemed to help her decide, because after a long pause, she took my hand.
Tobias and I guided her back to the hospital room, where she immediately vanished back into her body.
Still in spirit form, Tobias and I grinned at each other, and my chest felt so full that it seemed like it could burst at any moment and turn me into a puddle of sappy love-struck goo.
I’m going to cast a spell to seal her soul into her body so she doesn’t slip back into the spirit world, Tobias told me. Just as a precaution.
Smiling at him, I nodded.
He turned away from me, his expression screwed up with concentration, and began murmuring something under his breath. Annie’s body began to shimmer with each word. I was filled with a sense of immense rightness and satisfaction.
We had given Annie’s life back to her. Maybe, instead of hunting monsters, that’s what we could dedicate ourselves to doing. Maybe, working together, Tobias and I could bring light out of the darkness. It seemed like a far better future than one spent hunting ghosts and other supernatural creatures, even if doing so ultimately meant protecting innocent people. But there were others out there already doing that. Maybe Tobias and I could do something just as good, but different.
Together.
That was when I noticed a flicker of movement from the corner of my eye.
More startled than alarmed, I whirled to face it.
Teresa Dames stood before me. The front of her dress was still stained red with her blood. And the expression clamped across her face was immensely somber. Of course it was somber. She was a spirit now. And she clearly wasn’t at rest.
She reached out a spectral hand.
To grab me, perhaps. Or maybe to tear the life from me, the same way I had done to her.
Horror flooded through me. Guilt was fast on its heels.
Her lips began to move, and I knew she was going to say something I wasn’t ready to hear yet. Like an absolute coward, I staggered back, out of her reach.
Then I turned away from her.
I screwed my eyes shut and a thousand possible words rose to my lips, all of them useless. On some level, I had begun to maybe half believe what Tobias saw when he looked at me: that I was a good person on some level. That I was, after all, worthy of someone like him. But here was incontrovertible evidence that my mere existence had caused so much suffering already.
The rational part of my brain knew that I wasn’t being fair to myself—or Teresa.
I knew that I should turn back and face her. I should try to make her understand. Or maybe I should try to apologize. Or I should at least stand there and let her say whatever she needed to say, so that maybe she could finally rest. After everything these hands had done to her, it was the absolute least I could do. I wanted to give her that much.
And the tiniest voice from deep within me—a voice that sounded an awful lot like Tobias’s—whispered, reminding me that a truly bad person wouldn’t care one way or another about any of this.
But none of that did anything to stop the icy bone-deep fear from seizing every part of me. Even though I wanted to turn and face her, I couldn’t make myself do it. Even after I realized she wasn’t going to grab me, I still couldn’t make myself turn around.
And then, without warning, I slammed back into my body.