CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE || BRYAN
T eresa was already waiting for me when Tobias and I stepped into the spirit world.
Her expression was somber when she met my gaze. Hello, Bryan.
Hi, I greeted her, feeling fear and shame wash over me. Look, I’m sorry. I don’t want to make this about me. I know you have things you want to say, but I need you to know that I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you—or anyone.
I hated you, you know, Teresa told me. For weeks, after you killed me. I followed you everywhere, determined to make you feel the pain and horror of my death. I wanted vengeance.
I know , I said, her words sliding underneath my skin and freezing in place.
No. You don’t know , Teresa said, shaking her head. Because I eventually began to realize that you weren’t—well, you weren’t a person at all, really—when you harmed me or any of the others. I couldn’t understand it, at first. It didn’t make sense. But after each of your kills, I watched you find dark and hidden places, far away from any other person, and then you… you shut down. Until it was time for the next victim. You were entirely motionless, sometimes for weeks at a time. Your eyes were open, so you weren’t really asleep, but you weren’t awake either. You were vacant.
I shuddered with fresh horror at her words. I didn’t remember that part at all. The only thing I remembered was the hurt I had caused. Everything from between those awful memories was simply… blank. It was just darkness.
When I put together that you were acting under a spell, I realized that you were a victim, just as much as I or any of the others.
If I could have just stopped myself—
You couldn’t have , Teresa told me, her voice flat. I’ve never seen spells like that before and I had been a practicing witch all my life. And, as much as I would like to be able to hate you for taking me away from the people I love, I can’t. Because it was never your fault.
She paused, then added, It was your courage, even with knowing what might happen to you as a result of turning yourself in, that helped to save countless lives from bloodshed and darkness. Including many of the people I loved most in life.
I don’t understand—if all that is true, then why were you haunting me?
I was trying to reach out to you. I watched you shutting everything out. I watched you run from the people you loved. I watched you place yourself in danger. And every time you did, I knew that Giles was winning. You would have been his last victim. I couldn’t allow that to happen. Not if I could have stopped it.
Oh , I said. It was such a small word, considering that it held months of fear and shame, those emotions abruptly rewriting themselves into something else entirely in the span of a single moment.
The man who did this to us saw you as nothing more than a tool. You have proven him wrong a dozen times over. She paused. I don’t say this for me, but I know you must hear it, so I will say it, nonetheless. I forgive you.
Something snapped inside of me at her words. Some last piece of darkness and hurt and terror and pain dissolved. And I collapsed to my knees, doubled over with the sudden emotion. I sucked in a gasp, trying to keep myself together.
Tobias fell to his knees beside me, and I know he felt the tidal wave of overwhelming emotions through the bond. My walls were totally down, after all. He drew me into his arms as sobs tore through my body, one after the other, the poison inside of me finally finding its release in his arms.
You must live , Teresa told me, after a very long time had passed. She crouched down beside me and cupped my face in the palm of her hand. She gave me a soft smile. If for nothing else, you must live as best you can to spite the bastard who did this to us.
I couldn’t help but laugh through my tears at that.
Yes, I did want to spite Giles very, very much.
A golden-white light gradually began flowing into the space all around us. It didn’t seem to be coming from anywhere in particular, but from everywhere all at once. It grew brighter with each passing moment.
I’ve said what I have remained behind to say , Teresa said, sounding more distant than before despite standing right in front of me. It’s now time for me to move on.
Where will you go? I asked, my voice strangled with emotion. It was too soon. I hadn’t had a chance to thank her. I hadn’t had a chance to—
I’m a witch, darling , Teresa told me, the light suddenly growing so bright that I could hardly see her at all. But I thought that maybe she was smiling. I’ll go wherever I damn well please.
Then the light blotted everything else out and I had to close my eyes against it, because it was so bright that it was blinding to look at.
When I opened my eyes again, she was gone.
Tobias and I were alone.