Chapter 17
Harper
I keep Lincoln’s shirt on all night. The one from my old Alphas gets tossed into the corner, and I can’t help but think about his words and the feeling of having something of his pressed close to my skin all night.
It feels like claiming something I don’t deserve, but I can’t bring myself to take it off.
The fabric is soft and worn, and it smells like him.
It wraps me in his scent in a way that makes me feel safe, and just a little turned on.
I get some of the best sleep I’ve had in a while, curled up like that, and I try hard not to poke at the reasons why.
In the morning, I go downstairs for coffee and breakfast, and Lincoln’s eyes track me as I move around the kitchen. They go dark as they take me in, and instead of making me feel uncomfortable, it sends a pool of heat simmering low in my belly.
Of course, when Everett and Cash come down, they can immediately tell what’s going on, and they watch me with their own looks of approval.
It makes my skin tingle and my heart pound to have their eyes on me like that.
It feels like I’ve been marked in some primal way, even though nothing’s been said.
“So,” Cash says, once he’s settled at the kitchen table with his coffee. “The shirt.”
“The shirt,” I echo, not even close to knowing how to explain.
Lincoln glances at me, clearly asking for permission to explain, and I give him a little nod. Easier to let him do it than to try to find the words myself.
“She was wearing her old pack’s shirt,” he says simply. “So I gave her mine instead.”
Cash gets up immediately, walking down the short hall to the laundry room. He comes back with one of his shirts, something soft and light blue. “If you need something else to wear, I’ve got plenty of these.”
“I have some too,” Everett offers. “If you need something else.”
I laugh, caught off guard by the sincerity and immediacy of their offers. My cheeks flush pink with embarrassment, and I shake my head at them. “I’ll keep it in mind.”
Luckily, I have work to do and Cora to get up and out the door, so I’m saved from having to discuss it anymore.
The next few days pass easily. My ankle stops hurting after the second day, and the knot that has been in my stomach since I got here seems to have untwisted itself.
I pick my car up from Paul, and having my own way to get around definitely helps.
There’s also something about staying on my own terms that takes some of the stress off.
I don’t feel a huge timer above my head, counting down until when I need to leave here.
Staying until I have enough money to be comfortable leaving has settled me, and I think I didn’t realize how stressed out I was until the stress was removed.
Cash, Lincoln, and Everett don’t show any signs of wanting me to leave sooner, and I keep thinking about Lincoln giving me his shirt. When I came back from work that day, Cash and Everett’s shirts were folded on my bed, left for me to wear if I want to.
Lincoln said that my old pack doesn’t deserve to have me think about them at all, and I know he’s right. After how they treated me, the last thing they deserve is a moment of my time or space in my head.
But at the same time, I know I can’t have these Alphas either. I can’t stay here, can’t slot myself into their lives. When I finally leave Silver Falls, all of this will be over.
Ever since I left my old pack, I’ve been closed off to the idea that anyone could want me, but maybe…
maybe it’s time to let some of those walls down.
If I let someone else in, it could be good practice for getting back out there and not ending up alone, and it’ll be a distraction from thinking about and craving the men I currently live with.
A win-win.
I’m at the bar, handling the lunch shift, when Leo, a local rancher, comes in. I know he’s a Beta, and I know he’s the friendly type, who always makes small talk and tips well when he comes in. He takes his hat off as he settles at the bar and smiles at me.
“What can I get for you, Leo?” I ask as I come over.
“Is your number still not on the menu, Miss Harper?” he asks, giving me a charming smile.
I roll my eyes at him the way I’ve always done since he started flirting with me. It’s never anything serious with him, just compliments and asking for my number, and when I turn him down gently, he doesn’t get angry or demanding. But he’s persistent and clearly interested in me.
“Hm,” I say, smiling a little. “Not sure about today. What can I get for you while I check with the kitchen?”
He laughs and orders his usual sandwich and fries, and I put the order in and tend to the other customers. But the lunch rush is always slow, and Leo is always there to keep chatting with me when I come back to his part of the bar.
His flirting is harmless, if a little generic, and while it would be easier to just turn him down point blank, there’s a part of me that remembers that I do need to get back out there eventually.
Even if this doesn’t go anywhere, at least I’ll have tried, right?
At least I’ll have practice for the next guy that comes along and wants to hit on me. Assuming there is a next guy.
Leo hangs around while he finishes his lunch and then stops me as I go to take his plate away. “I might be out of line here,” he starts. “But you haven’t told me to fuck off yet, which I’m hoping means I have a chance.”
“A chance for what?” I ask him.
“To ask you to have dinner with me. Tonight, if you’re free.”
I lick my lips, torn. It would be an automatic no usually, but he’s been nice, and I’m not sure how to let him down gently.
And… maybe there’s no harm in going out with him.
He’s nice, he’s handsome, he’s interested.
What other criteria is there right now? It’s not like I’m signing myself up for marriage or anything.
So I take a breath and force a smile. “Sure, Leo,” I say. “I can do dinner.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Cash standing near the bar. He was talking to someone before, but now his eyes are locked on Leo and me. Something passes across his face that I can’t read, before he turns back to his conversation.
Leo is grinning when I give my attention back to him. “Perfect,” he says. “I’ll pick you up after your shift is over?”
I shake my head. “I’ll need to run home and change. I’ll just meet you there.”
We make plans to meet up at one of the few nicer restaurants in town, and then Leo goes on his way, whistling as he lets the door close behind him.
Before I can even start reeling over what I’ve just agreed to, I feel Cash come up behind me. “Can I talk to you for a second?” he asks, his voice low.
“Sure.”
I follow him to the back office, closing the door. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah,” he says. “Everything’s fine. I just—Do you really want to go out with that guy?”
I blink, caught off guard by the question. My pulse spikes a bit, but I force myself to act casual. Cash doesn’t need to know that I’m partly using Leo to distract from how much I can’t stop thinking about him and his pack. Nothing good can come from going down that path.
I’m relieved that my voice is steady when I answer him. “It’s just dinner, and Leo’s nice. I need to get out more anyway. All I really do is work and then go back to your place every day. It won’t kill me to see how it goes.”
Cash’s jaw goes tight, but he nods. “Fine, okay. I just… wanted to make sure he hadn’t pressured you or anything.” I can tell there’s more to it than that, and I start to ask him if Leo has a reputation or something, but then think better of it.
Keeping Cash and the men out of my dating life is probably the best idea here.
“He didn’t,” I say. “He was persistent, but if I’d told him to leave me alone, I feel like he would have. It’ll be fine, Cash.”
He nods again. “Yeah. I’m sure.”
I go back to work, taking a moment between customers to call Lainey and ask her to keep Cora little later.
“It won’t be too late,” I promise. “I just have a dinner date right after my shift ends, so maybe an hour or two?”
“It’s not a problem, Harper,” she says. “But I do expect you to tell me all about this date when I see you. I need details!”
I laugh a little. “I’m not sure there’ll be anything to tell, honestly. But thank you for keeping Cora.”
“My pleasure, really.”
After my shift, I rush back to the house to shower and change, grateful that no one else is home yet. I have no idea if Cash would have told Lincoln and Everett about it yet, but I don’t want to deal with having to explain where I’m going to them right now.
I meet Leo at Smith’s Steakhouse, smoothing down the sundress I put on for the occasion and trying to act like someone who knows how to go on dates.
He looks nice in dark washed jeans and a button down shirt, the ever-present cowboy boots the ranchers wear adding to the look.
“You look beautiful,” he says, getting the door for me.
“Thanks. You clean up nice yourself.”
We’re shown to a table, and I pick up the menu, giving it a look over. “Have you been here a lot?” I ask. “I’m not sure what’s good.”
“It’s all good,” he replies. “I always start with a bottle of the house red. Sets the mood off right, I think.”
“I’m not drinking tonight, but you should get whatever you want.”
“I can’t tempt you with one glass?” he asks. “Not even a toast to our first date?”
I shake my head. I’m not about to explain that I need to be sober to go pick up my niece and drive home because that’s not really first date talk.
Luckily, he doesn’t press it. Unluckily, he does spend all the time before the server comes over, talking about himself and his family, without letting me get a word in edgewise.
My question, “what kind of ranching do you do?” turns into a whole explanation of how his father and his grandfather started their family business and where they get their cows from and how he plans to expand when he finally takes over from his dad.