Chapter 20
Harper
When I wake up the next morning, it’s like I can still feel the phantom touch of Cash’s tongue on me.
I dreamt about it all night, and it wasn’t just what happened.
My imagination took over at some point, filling in the gaps of what could have happened.
I dreamed about him, and Everett and Lincoln too.
Dreamed of being surrounded by the three of them, their hands and mouths all over my body.
Their deep voices whispered my name and coaxed me to come for them, taking me higher and higher until there was nothing I could do but give in.
Of course none of that happened, but I’m not immune to the thoughts of it.
I’m still so fucking turned on this morning, despite having the best orgasm of my life last night.
It’s like getting a taste of it only made my body crave more.
Like a door really was opened and now all I want is to go through it again and again.
My pussy throbs in my sleep shorts, and shifting in bed makes my shirt rub against my peaked, sensitive nipples. My skin feels so fucking sensitive, the whisper of the sheets over it enough to have me practically whimpering with need.
“Fuck,” I groan, putting my hands over my face and trying to breathe around the feeling. I need to get it together.
I throw myself out of bed and head for the shower, letting the water run cold so maybe it will tame some of the heat pounding through my veins. The icy water runs over my overheated skin, and I focus on calming myself down.
Not that it helps much. I still feel wound so tightly, and even as I’m drying off there’s still an ache between my legs.
But it’s not like I can hide in my room all day. For one, I have things to do. For another, that would probably make the three of them come to check on me, and the last thing I need is all three of them looming over me in bed. That would just make this problem worse.
So I get dressed and head downstairs, still turned on and probably soaking into my panties from it. Fuck, they can probably smell it on me given how intense it is.
All three of them are in the kitchen, because of course they are. They move around each other the way they always do, making coffee and breakfast, the morning routine unbroken by what happened between me and Cash last night.
For a second, I wonder if we can pretend it never happened at all. At least in front of Everett and Lincoln. But then Cash smiles at me as he passes me a cup of coffee, and his fingers linger against mine when I take it.
I duck my head, trying to hide the blush that spreads across my cheeks, but that just makes Cash smile brighter.
He doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t really have to. He’s practically radiating smug satisfaction, and even I can pick up on that. All I can hope is that somehow the others are so preoccupied that they miss it.
Of course, I don’t get that lucky.
Lincoln frowns as he watches Cash and me, his eyes tracking between us, picking up on the new tension that crackles in the air.
When I get up to make toast, Cash is already there, pulling butter out of the fridge and setting it on the counter near the toaster with a little smile.
His hand touches my shoulder, just briefly, and it feels like everyone in the kitchen zeroes in on it at the same time.
Everett’s cop instincts must be buzzing. His eyes land on my face, and I know he can tell how flustered I am. I know he can see it, every single time Cash glances at me and lingers for too long.
It’s so obvious, and Everett and Lincoln both look confused and curious about what the hell is going on.
I wish I knew what to tell them. I wish I could disappear and not have to deal with this.
Cash’s phone buzzes in his pocket, and he frowns, pulling it out to glance at the screen. “Oh, this is the ferrier calling back about the appointment for this month. I’ll be back.” He gets up and steps out into the other room to take the call.
As soon as he’s gone, both of the other men snap their heads to look at me.
I try to focus on my coffee and my toast, knowing if I look at them, I’m done for. But they don’t even wait for me to make eye contact. Everett launches into an interrogation as soon as the coast is clear.
“What happened?” he asks.
“What do you mean?” Maybe if I stall, Cash will come back and they’ll drop it. It’s nice to dream.
“You know what I mean. Something’s going on with you and Cash.”
My face burns so hot I can feel it radiating heat from the force of my fluster. “It’s nothing, really. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Lincoln snorts, leaning back in his chair. “Yes, you do. If you were confused, you’d be able to make eye contact with us. What happened, Harper? We know it was something.”
I don’t want to outright lie to their faces.
That feels… wrong, after everything they’ve done to help me.
It’s just that Cash and I didn’t discuss anything after we did what we did.
I wish we’d come up with something to tell his fellow Alphas before now.
Before I was alone with them, scrambling for an answer.
I drag in a deep breath and glance across the table at them. “Something did happen,” I admit. “We just, um, got closer last night, that’s all. I had a bad date last night—”
“Bad how?” Everett demands before I can finish my sentence.
“With who?” Lincoln adds.
“It’s not a big deal. Bad like it was boring and he was self-absorbed. Nothing happened, really.”
They visibly stand down at that, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s not going to be the last I hear about it, knowing them.
“Anyway,” I rush to continue. “I came home and saw Cash, and… he comforted me. Stuff happened.”
Keeping it vague isn’t helping obviously because both of their gazes darken. There’s hunger there, unmistakable, and something like jealousy underneath it.
I swallow hard, caught off guard by that.
The way they’re looking at me makes my pulse race. It’s like they want to devour me, and I have no idea what to do with that.
Luckily, Cash chooses that moment to come walking back into the kitchen, sliding his phone back in his pocket.
“She’ll be out in a couple weeks,” he says as he steps in.
“We agreed they can go a little longer this month and—” He stops.
Looks around the room at the way Everett and Lincoln are looking at me and probably the deer in headlights look on my face. “What did I miss?”
“I don’t know,” Lincoln says. “Maybe we should be asking you that.”
“What?”
Everett raises an eyebrow and just stares at Cash, and I wonder if that’s the look he uses to intimidate people in his job. It would probably work on me. Cash manages to last an impressive minute or so before he cracks.
“I guess you heard, huh?” he asks, glancing at me.
“We sure did. Should we be congratulating you or asking what happened and where?”
“Harper said you ‘comforted her’,” Lincoln says. “Interesting use of the word comfort there. Seems like it’s doing a lot of heavy lifting.”
Cash snorts at their teasing, and none of it seems angry or too intense, but at the same time, the tension in the air cranks up another several notches.
There’s something crackling between the three of them now, there in the way they’re holding themselves and the way they keep looking at each other.
It’s territorial instincts through and through, like they’re circling each other to try to declare some kind of dominance. And they keep looking at me with a heated intensity that makes me squirm in my chair.
Before they can say anything else, we hear the sound of little footsteps clattering down the stairs, and I breathe a sigh of relief as Cora comes walking into the kitchen.
The three of them immediately drop their scrutiny and turn smiles to Cora.
“Morning, little star,” Cash says, beaming at her.
Lincoln sets his coffee cup down and tips his head in a nod. “Hey there, Cora bear.”
“Good morning, ladybug,” Everett says in turn.
It still sometimes shocks me that the three of them have nicknames for Cora, ones that are full of fondness that I know Cora can hear.
She smiles back, signing her gestures that she developed for each of them, and another of those small, happy noises spills out of her. They used to be so rare, but they come faster now, proof that this place has been good for her.
Even with Cora here, accepting juice and fruit and breakfast from the men, there’s still tension crackling in the air. Thank fuck Cora is too young to pick up on it. It’s not even intentional, I’m sure, but every time one of the men glances at me, something hot slides down my spine.
At this rate, I’m going to be a mess before lunch.
“I need to get to the bar,” I say, pushing back from the table and getting to my feet. It’s a little early for my shift, but anything to escape this heated tension.
“We’ll come with you,” Everett says. “It’s inventory day.”
Fuck. Of course it is. So much for my plan to put some distance between us.
“I guess we’re all waiting for Lainey then,” I murmur. “She’s picking up Cora.”
Thankfully, she comes quickly, breezing in with a smile and a side hug for her brother. “Cora!” she says, laughing when Cora runs up to hug her. “Are you excited for today’s adventure?”
Cora nods eagerly, brushing toast crumbs off her shirt.
“Where are you guys heading?” I ask.
“Cora’s been invited to come spend some time with Bessie,” Lainey explains.
Cora’s excitement is easy to see from the way she bounces on her feet, tugging at Lainey’s hand.
“Replaced by a cow,” I tease, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of Cora’s head. “I see how it is. Have fun, baby. Be good.” Cora hugs me tightly, and then dashes off with Lainey.
When I turn back from the door to see all three of the Alphas standing there watching me, I kind of wish I could go with Lainey and Cora to see the cow instead.
But I’m not a coward, and I have a job to do, so I square my shoulders and lead the way out the door to head down to the bar with the men.
At first, I think that the soothing rhythm of the work is going to be enough to distract me from everything else going on.
After this long, I can do most of it with my eyes closed, and I move through my tasks with ease, trying to keep my head down and my mind focused on stacking glasses and running plates of food.
Cash, Everett, and Lincoln spend the first couple of hours in their office, and I can just barely hear the low murmur of their voices as they go over inventory and deal with everything else they have to do today.
But that can’t last, of course. And the morning shift isn’t busy enough to distract me fully. There’s no crush of customers or drink orders flying, so when Cash comes out of the back office and walks toward the bar, I’m hyperaware of it.
I can smell him, and the scent wraps around me, soothing and electrifying all at once. He comes behind the bar and reaches around me to grab something, his chest pressing against my back as he does.
My heart thuds hard in my chest, and I have to swallow down the little involuntary noise that wanted to spill out of me just from this.
“Get it together,” I mutter under my breath once he’s gone again with another smile.
Just when I think I’m going to find my footing again, Lincoln comes out, stretching lazily as he comes behind the bar.
“How are things going?” he asks.
“Fine,” I say. “Slow, as usual.”
“As usual,” he replies.
But when a customer comes up to the bar to order a soda, Lincoln reaches for the glass at the same time I do. Our fingers brush, and electricity shoots through me. I snatch my hand back, letting him fill the drink from the fountain so I can move farther down the bar and try to get my shit together.
Halfway through my shift, Everett comes over to the register and starts going through it, checking to make sure it doesn’t need to be topped up with coins and smaller bills for change.
He doesn’t touch me, doesn’t do more than tip me a small look before he starts counting, but he’s standing close enough that I can smell his cologne.
His own scent is there under it, and the combination is enough to have my breathing going shallow.
Fuck, I’m a mess.
I don’t even know if I can delude myself into thinking that the three of them don’t notice, considering how closely they’ve been watching me today.
It’s just that I have no idea how to handle any of this—this attraction, these feelings, the line I crossed with Cash and the thought that’s taking up space in the back of my mind that his packmates are jealous and waiting for their turn possibly.
Part of me feels like I made a huge mistake letting it go as far as it did last night.
Maybe if we’d only kissed it would be easier to handle, but letting him eat me out was crossing a line that I never cross.
But then there’s the part of me that’s been dismissed and ignored for so long, the part that I’ve neglected because there’s always been something else more important to deal with, the part that’s been living such a small fucking life all this time.
And that part can’t agree that it was a mistake.
That part feels like all of this is worth it.
Because for the first time in a long time, everything else fell away and I was just able to feel. To feel pleasure after so much pain and emptiness. And it was amazing.