Chapter 31
31
ELLIE
B leach, cleaning fluid, and… something familiar I couldn’t place that filled me with a sense of comfort and love were what first came to mind as I slowly drifted awake from a deep sleep. My body felt heavy, limbs made of metal rather than flesh and bone. A dull ache bloomed from my lower belly but was more of an annoyance than actual pain. Unlike the last moments I had before passing out. The pain of the bullet tearing through me was excruciating; my body slowly growing cold as blood seeped from my wound was something I’d never forget. Then there were those last few moments with Chandler. Witnessing him breaking was a different type of agony. That pain was in my heart, in my soul as if I was sobbing from the inside, devastated at the sight of him so upset because of me.
Chandler.
I inhaled again.
That was the familiar comforting scent. His unique combination of manly soap, deodorant, and a spicy cologne that I committed to memory from sniffing the collar of his borrowed jacket and all the days we’d spent together since. Behind my lids, I searched through the darkness, not quite ready to wake up and face reality just yet.
Somewhere to my right, whispered voices spoke. A quiet rhythmic beeping close to my ear, and something warm wrapped around my hand keeping the chill I felt everywhere else at bay.
The need to find Chandler won over my body’s urge to slip back into that peaceful darkness. Peeling my lids open, I blinked, clearing the haze. The small room was unfamiliar, clean, cold almost. My gaze tracked toward the far corner, where Alec and a short man in a white coat stood, both too wrapped up in their conversation to notice my stare.
The heater around my hand tightened. Rolling my head along the pillowcase, I found Chandler sitting beside me, hand engulfing my own. Red streaked the whites of his eyes, dark purple bags hanging beneath. Hair disheveled and skin paler than normal, he looked exhausted.
We both blinked when our gazes locked, neither speaking a word as we stared at the other. His last words played on repeat as we sat in silence. So much was said those final few minutes. All honest declarations, full of emotions and promises.
A slight tremble shook his fingers as he reached for my face, palm delicately cupping my cheek. Happy tears burned behind my eyes.
“There you are, baby,” he murmured against my knuckles as he brushed them along his lower lip. “I’ve missed you.”
After a few tries, I swallowed back the lump of unshed tears that clogged my dry throat. “You told me not to give up.”
“And you didn’t,” he said between planting kisses along the inside of my wrist and up my forearm.
“Where am I?” I asked, lids fluttering closed at the tingling sensations left behind at each place he kissed.
“A hospital. In Dallas.”
“Dallas?” I squeaked, eyes flaring open. My hair shifted along the pillow as I twisted to see out the windows. Ginormous buildings stretched high toward the sky, hundreds of them clustered so close together that I wondered if they touched. Between the buildings, highways packed with cars and trucks zigzagged. One building in particular held my attention, its odd shape and green windows a sheer marvel.
“What does it smell like?” I murmured.
When he didn’t respond, I rolled my head back along the pillow, brows raised in expectation. Chandler’s focus was still locked on me. I couldn’t help the way my cheeks heated beneath his intense focus.
“Smell like?” he mused. An almost smile ticked a corner of his lips. “Like old money, poor decisions, and pollution.”
I barked out a laugh at his unexpected description of the famous city, yet I knew if he said it, the words were true. My stomach muscles tensed and pulled with the action, and a searing pain stabbed into my side as a hiss pushed through my clenched teeth. I went to press on the area, hoping to calm the burning pain, but Chandler stopped me, urging my hand back to the bed.
“Don’t touch it, but if it hurts, let me know, and I’ll get you more pain meds.” Sorrow flashed across his face. “You had surgery to get the bullet out and had a few transfusions to help replace the blood you lost. Everything went as planned, and the doctors say you’ll be back to normal in a couple days.”
“How did I get here, to Dallas?” A million different questions flashed through my thoughts, but that one was the most important.
“I got you to Waco, where a medical team patched you up enough for us to fly you to Dallas.”
“Fly?” I squeaked. I flew. Holy Hades, I flew.
“A helicopter. Careflight, to be exact.”
Awe washed through me. “I’m sad I missed it.” I attempted a smile, but my disappointment at not remembering the flight hampered my mood. “So I’m in Dallas. Where exactly?”
“Baylor Medical Center.”
I took in the room and all the contraptions beside my bed. Embarrassment flared within me.
“Chandler, I can’t pay for this.” I sighed. “I don’t have enough?—”
“Really? You were shot, and that’s what you’re thinking about.” He shook his head, but the heaviness that surrounded him seemed to lift. “Don’t worry about any of that, okay? The FBI will foot the bill since you were injured during an altercation with the unsub. But”—he rubbed a hand over his short hair—“I do have a confession. I filled out your paperwork and consent forms for surgery, and I listed your name as Ellie Peters.”
I pressed two fingers to his reddening cheekbone. My dry lips stretched into a wide smile. “I like the sound of that.”
“Like it?” he huffed with zero frustration behind the sound. “Just like it?”
“Scratch that, I love it.”
“Hey there, Ellie girl.” I shifted along the sheets to turn toward Alec’s deep voice. “You gave us a scare. Try not to do anything like that again.”
I snorted while Chandler punched Alec in the stomach.
“Promise,” I said. “That’s nothing I want to go through again.” All three of us fell into a heavy silence. “He told me the why, the how.” I swallowed and picked at the white blanket pooled at my waist. “Did you find Brett?”
“Ellie, we can do this later?—”
A knock at the door interrupted whatever Alec wanted to say next. A woman in maroon scrubs walked through the door, face downturned, studying the clipboard between her hands. A bright smile split across her face when she glanced up, finding me awake.
“You okay to be in here alone?” Chandler’s brows were furrowed in concern, lifting slightly when I nodded. “Okay, well, we’ll be right outside if you need us.” A quick kiss to the top of my head and he stood, arching to stretch his back. Our fingers slid apart as he stepped away, mine dropping to the mattress when he moved out of reach.
“Chandler?” I called out before he made it to the door. He turned, brows raised. “Thank you for saving me.”
In two rapid steps, he was back by my side, curved over the hospital bed with his lips pressed to mine in a desperate, all-consuming, deep kiss. It said the intense emotions and feelings we couldn’t put into words, pouring it all from one to the other and connecting us on a new level. Guess that was what almost dying and seeing the one you love almost die in your arms did to you. It made you realize nothing else mattered but the one you love and who loved you back.
Something in my hand pinched as I clasped the back of his neck, nails biting into the skin in my desperate need for him to consume me whole. An attention-grabbing cough brought me back to reality, reminding me someone else was in the room.
I smiled, and he grinned in return. He brushed a soft, cherishing kiss to my forehead. “You saved me too.”
This time when he walked away, I didn’t stop him. He would be right outside like he promised, probably with an ear to the door ensuring I wasn’t in danger. This was my first hospital to ever see, let alone be in, and surgery was also another first, but I’d seen enough through TV shows and movies to know the basics of what to expect.
The nurse nodded toward the closed door. “That man didn’t leave your side once. We even had to call security to keep him out of the surgery room when you first arrived.” That was not surprising in the least. And if I was being honest with myself, it made me love my protective profiler a little more. “I know all this is new to you, so if you have any questions or are uncomfortable, let me know. First, I’ll start with checking your vitals, then change out your IV fluids and check your incision. After that, you’ll want to get some sleep.”
“Didn’t I just do that?” I asked as she changed out one of the deflated bags on the metal hook and replaced it with a full one.
“I suppose, but sleep will help you recover faster. Plus, I’m sure you’re tired.”
As if on cue, I yawned wide, making us both laugh.
Maybe sleep wasn’t such a crazy idea, even though I’d just woken up.
Just the thought had my lids drooping and finally falling closed completely after several attempts to keep them open.
Okay, maybe she’s right. Just a short nap.
The room was dark except for the bright lights glaring through the window. I squinted to make out the details past the glass. Not a single star was visible in the clear sky, the brilliant artificial light from the buildings keeping them hidden. It was strange, having been in a town where streetlights only existed around the interstate, to see the dark night lit up like it was daytime.
“Ellie.”
Turning toward the voice, I searched the dark room. My breath caught at the sight of him sitting across the room. Even with the shadows, his stiff posture and tension were clear. Between his hands was a blue folder, the edges bending under his tight hold.
“Hey,” I said, my voice still hoarse with sleep. “What are you doing all the way over there?” All my alarms went off when he failed to answer. “Chandler, what’s wrong?”
“I did something, Ellie.” I stopped breathing altogether as I waited. Tilting forward, he pressed both elbows atop his thighs and dangled the folder between his knees. “And I can’t take it back.”
The machine to my right beeped in sync with my rising pulse.
“What did you do?” My voice shook with trepidation. After everything I’d been through, those words held heavy meaning. Did he trade me like Jacob, video me like Brett? Even as those fears swelled, maximizing the worst-case scenario, I knew in my heart that Chandler would never do anything to harm me. To harm us.
Despair leaked from his stare, his tone heavy. “I want you to know I didn’t know,” he pleaded. “I had no idea it would be this deep, this dark.” The chair shifted as he rested back and tapped the folder against his opposite hand. “I thought… hell, I don’t know what I thought. It was a long shot.”
“What did you do?” I asked again, stronger this time.
“It struck me as odd when I saw your parents, the lack of resemblance between you and them. I just had this gut feeling that something was off, and I followed through with that feeling.”
“What did you do?” I shouted, immediately regretting it when my wound pinched, sending bolts of pain radiating from the incision.
“I took a hair sample one night when you were sleeping.” I released a breath. That wasn’t so bad. Creepy but not terrible. “I sent the sample to the Dallas FBI office to run DNA.” Again, I found myself holding a shallow breath in anticipation. “It’s all in here,” he said, holding the folder up.
“What’s in it?” My voice shook. “Why are you acting so strange? It’s freaking me the fuck out.”
“You were stolen, Ellie.” He shook his head and cursed under his breath. “Fuck, your name isn’t even Ellie, or Elizabeth, or Lizzy, or any name you’ve ever been called.”
“What are you talking about?” I balled the rough material of the blanket in my tight fists. “I would know if I had a life before The Church.” But that dream, the memories that sometimes surfaced for half a thought before floating away again…. I shook my head in disbelief. “It’s wrong.”
“You were kidnapped from a water park in Oklahoma City.”
“No,” I stated.
“You were five, there with your family. You have an older brother and sister.”
“No. I don’t have any family.” My tone held the conviction I didn’t feel.
“Ellie.” The clear despair on his drawn features and the crack in his pleading voice made me ache to comfort him even though I was heartbroken too. “You have a name, a real birthdate and birth certificate, a social security number.”
I slapped a hand over my quivering lips to quiet the building sob. Chandler launched from the chair, coming to sit on the edge of the bed before pulling me into his protective arms. Face tucked against his neck, he held me close, never saying a word as I sobbed, my tears flowing down the column of his throat.
“You have a family who’s looked for you, who’s never stopped looking for you.”
“Really?” I said between sniffles.
“Really, really. The detective over your disappearance logged every call your mother made to him asking if anything new was discovered. Every year on the date of your disappearance.”
“What’s my name?” I swallowed down my fear. I couldn’t hide my head in the sand. This was real. I should’ve been excited, overjoyed that I was a real person, but more than anything, I was scared. Terrified of this new unknown.
“Maddison Jane Bishop.”
“Maddison.” I blinked, saying the name over and over in my head, but it didn’t feel right. Hand pressed to the center of his chest, I put some distance between us. “No, not Maddison. Maddie.”
“You remember?” Lifting the few strands of hair stuck to my cheek, he swiped them behind my ear, his other hand cupping my face.
“Maybe.” I nibbled at the edge of my lip. “Do they know about me, what I… where I was?” Shame bloomed, making me feel dirty and used. If they knew what I’d done, what I’d lived through, would they even want me now?
“No.” I relaxed against him. Good, that was good until I figured out how I felt about all this. “When I received the report, I instructed everyone who knew to hold off on contacting your parents or the detective. That will be your call if you want them to know about you.” Chandler brushed a thumb along my cheekbone. “But there’s more.”
A half laugh, half cry bubbled past my lips. “What, I’m a millionaire?”
“Better, some might say. You’ve gained a few years back to your life. You’re twenty-three.”
My jaw popped open and a hysterical laugh erupted, the revelations and weight of the last few minutes finally catching up with me. “Look at you, robbing the cradle.” No idea where that came from, but for some crazed reason, it was the funniest thing I’d ever heard. Tears streamed down my bunched cheeks. Hand to my bandages, I attempted to keep my stitches together as I laughed and laughed before breaking completely and collapsing against Chandler, sobbing once again.
Careful of my incision, he held me tight, whispering how strong I was, how I’d survive this just like I had everything else in my life. He spoke in my ear all the things about me he found amazing, and sexy, and beautiful.
After who knew how long of me crying in his arms, the tears slowed. Stroking my hair behind an ear, he tipped my chin up, forcing me to look up to him. “Do you realize what this means?”
Using the sleeve of my soft cotton hospital gown, I wiped at my eyes and nose. “I’m a real person?” I joked.
“You’ve always been a real person, Ellie. You’re the most real person I’ve ever met. But I’m talking about your age and how it affects The Church. I’m suspecting you were taken that day specifically for The Church, meaning someone within those gates kidnapped a five-year-old child.”
I sucked in a breath at the implication of that statement. “There could be others.”
Chandler dipped his chin in acknowledgment. “And if you decide to move forward with all this, allowing the FBI to run with your kidnapping, we have the evidence to arrest Jacob.”
“What?” My voice dipped with doubt.
“You weren’t eighteen, Ellie. When he forced you to marry him. You were underage, without parental consent and against your will. There isn’t a judge in this state who wouldn’t sign that arrest warrant.”
I blinked at Chandler, processing what he said. If I decided to move forward, that bastard of a man could be behind bars. I could be free of him, truly free, finally.
There wasn’t a choice, not really. I loved that Chandler gave me the option, but there was no way I could say no. Not when I could possibly save other victims behind those gates and help find their real families.
“I’m in. That bastard needs to pay for what he took from me, what they all took from me.” Sitting up straighter, I gripped Chandler’s shoulders. “What do you need from me?”
Apparently almost dying opened the floodgates to the tears I’d held back my entire life. It was one of the things Jacob hated, that I could control my emotions to hide any physical reactions to his games. Well, being shot broke down my walls and meeting my real parents.
The tears hadn’t stopped since the two walked through the hospital room door. I expected it to be awkward, having to explain where I’d been, but it was the opposite. Their steps weren’t tentative, no hesitancy slowing their enthusiastic shouts of relief the moment our eyes met.
My dad—Steve, I quickly found out—wrapped me in a bear hug, his shoulders shaking with joy-filled sobs. My mom, Kathy, just held my cheeks between her small hands, memorizing my features while silent tears leaked down her smiling face.
It wasn’t awkward at all.
It was perfect.
After an hour, Steve excused himself to gather his emotions in private. That was twenty minutes ago. Now Kathy clung to me like a koala bear, arms looped around my neck, keeping me close in her tight hold. A soft sniffle echoed in my ear before she pulled back to study my face again. Her smile was mine—or mine was hers, I guess. Matching blue eyes, same petite face and button nose, which was red from the box of tissue we’d already cried through. And of course the thick blonde hair. Well, mine was still dyed, but if I had my natural color, it would match hers minus the brilliant streaks of silver that sometimes caught the fluorescent light.
Biting back her grin, she shifted her gaze to look over my shoulder. More tears pooled in her lower lids as she pressed three fingers to her trembling lips.
“Thank you,” she whispered, her throat clogged with emotion like mine. “Thank you for saving my baby and bringing her home.”
“She saved herself long before I came along.” I leaned back against Chandler’s chest, savoring the warmth that seeped from him through my soft long-sleeve T–shirt.
“I need to call—” She flicked her gaze to the ceiling, her eyes searching as if the names were written on the tiles. “—well, everyone. Our family, everyone who helped look for you originally, and who’s continued to search since.”
Chandler held up a hand, stopping her. “We need you to hold off on telling anyone about Maddison.” I held back a wince at the sound of the foreign name on his lips. “If the people who took her are tipped off, they could run. I’d like us to make the formal arrest and have the ones responsible in custody before you make any calls.”
“Right, of course, sorry. That makes sense, and I don’t want to jeopardize the chance of making that asshole pay.” She winced. “Excuse my language.” She patted my hand. “Now, I’m going to go check on my husband, and, well, collect myself a little too. We’ve dreamed of this day for so long. It’s a miracle. You’re a miracle.” My returning smile was brittle. She didn’t need to know Jacob had said similar things and just thinking I was special now made my stomach sour. “I’ll be back in a little while.”
“She’s safe with me.” Chandler’s chest vibrated with the words, tickling along my spine.
“I know she is.” With another near asphyxiating hug, she walked to the door, turning around before slipping into the hall. “I love you, Maddie.” The moment the door closed, an elated scream belted down the hall.
Chandler chuckled and wrapped his arms around my waist, careful of my injury. Twisting around, I pressed my cheek to his chest. We sat on the edge of the bed for several minutes in contemplative silence, letting the last couple hours soak through.
“When will the arrest be made?” I asked, resting my chin on his sternum.
He pressed a soft kiss to the end of my nose. “Alec’s headed there now with all the warrants and reinforcements in case of resistance. Once Jacob is arrested, they’ll begin investigating the community as a whole.”
I released a slow breath. “After today I’ll be free?”
“You’re free, Maddie.”
I pulled a face. “Please stop saying that. It might be my legal name, but in here”—I pointed to my heart—“I’m Ellie. The girl who knew deep down there was more waiting for her on the other side of the fence, the girl who twice left the life she knew, breaking free of the men desperate to dominate her. I’m the girl who gets the happily ever after with her hero.”
He chuckled, rubbing the back of his hand along my cheek. “I’m no hero. You were shot, after all.”
“Sure, but it would’ve been worse if you hadn’t talked Ryan down initially. You saved me, Chandler Peters. You helped me live.”
Closing the small distance between us, I planted a kiss to his lower lip. With a contented sigh, I relaxed against him, nuzzling his neck until I was tucked beneath his jaw. My lids grew heavy from the emotional exhaustion and the warmth of his skin.
“About DC.” My eyes snapped open at the hesitation in his tone. With a firm grip on the back of my neck, he pulled back, putting us face-to-face. “I think you need to stay here.”
“What?” I exclaimed, scooting back an inch on the bed to put more distance between us. “You don’t want me to go with you?”
He offered a sad smile. “Of course I want you with me. The thought of leaving you”—he rubbed a fist against his sternum—“it physically hurts. But, Ellie, you need time with your real family. Catch up on everything you missed. Meet your siblings, spend time with your parents, who seem really great, hell, celebrate Thanksgiving next week surrounded by your real family. If I were to take you now, when you’ve just found all this, it would be selfish of me. As much as I want you by my side, which will happen one day soon, I think you’d regret not taking some time to breathe.”
“But I don’t want to breathe without you,” I confessed. Stretching past Chandler to the bedside table, I snatched a peppermint from the candy stash he’d surprised me with earlier that day.
“It’s not goodbye. We’ll never be done. You and me, we’re forever, remember? Think of the time apart as a pause. A breather for you to discover who you are outside of Orin, Texas, away from Jacob and Brett, away from me. I’ll wait for you.” Tilting to the side, he withdrew a long white envelope from the back pocket of his jeans and placed it in the space between us. “Inside you’ll find a first-class, one-way plane ticket to Washington, DC. To be used anytime. Also my address, access code, and a key to my condo. For when you’re ready to start a new chapter. Our chapter.”
I sniffled and wiped away a stray tear with the back of my hand. I didn’t want to agree with him, but deep down, I knew he was right. I needed some time here, wanted to breathe the air as a free woman, a real person with a real family. Maybe give my internal bruises a little time to heal, maybe even find a little bit of this Maddie I’d buried deep inside myself where no one could find her.
I nodded in agreement but kept my lips sealed, unable to say a word without crying all over again.
“Listen, I don’t leave until tomorrow.” A knuckle pressed beneath my chin, Chandler lifted my face to meet his. “And with it being my last night here, I’d really like to spend it with you.” The bed jostled and creaked when he stood. Searching through a backpack that sat along the floor, he held up his iPad and gave it a hopeful look. “How about a Mindhunter marathon?”
More tears leaked out of my eyes against my will. Not only was he sexy, smart, and all mine, he understood me.
“Yes, I’d love that,” I somehow said around the ball of unshed tears burning my throat.
With a childlike grin, he toed off his shoes and stripped down to his undershirt. As he emptied his pockets, I shimmied beneath the layers of blankets, holding one side open as an invitation for him to crawl in beside me. After a few adjustments of the pillows and him tucking one arm under my head, we finally found a comfortable position.
Halfway through the intro to episode one, I turned my head, pressing my cheek to the pillow to take in his handsome face.
“What?” he questioned, cutting his eyes my way.
“I think I love you,” I whispered as I searched for the right words. “But I’m not so sure. It feels more than that, like my heart might burst with everything I feel when I’m around you. So I’m lying here wondering, what comes after love? What goes beyond that emotion? Because that’s what I feel for you.”
Turning, he mirrored me, our noses brushing. “I beyond love you too, Ellie. I forever love you.”
And just like that, I knew.
I knew my happily ever after had started.
And I never wanted this chapter to end.