Chapter 5
5
RAE
E asy, Rae. Play it cool.
But with the sexy-as-sin Alec Bronson less than a foot away from where I sat, my mantra did little to slow my racing heart and erratic thoughts. I bounced from focusing on the imminent danger I put Alec in by being connected with me to wanting to lift his shirt to see if his abs were as lickable as they were in my dreams.
Who was I kidding? Of course they were.
Fucking look at him.
I cast a side-eye stare his way, cataloging his features. Some things were different, others the same. Those smoky gray eyes saw every move, catalogued every breath while giving nothing away to what went on inside his head. Long dark hair drifted past his ears, softening his masculine square jaw and deep-set eyes. A smooth forehead, neat dark brows, and nibble-able lips completed his attractive yet stern look. And those thick, tan, flexing forearms….
I licked my lips. Oh, I was so screwed.
Not only was there a man missing, meaning the person who killed everyone I loved was back, but now all my thoughts were lust-filled with Alec as the lead character.
He stole a look my way, catching me red-handed.
Whoops.
Playing with the end of my ponytail, I scrambled for something to say. We hadn’t said a word since we left the police station parking lot. I hadn’t even had the nerve to give him directions to my place, just pointed left, right, and straight like a damn fool.
I cleared my throat. “So. How have you been?” Lame. I was so lame. I’d like to blame it on the fact that I hadn’t had a full conversation outside the library in nearly ten years, but I knew it was more than that. It was him.
Alec’s rumbling laugh launched a horde of butterflies fluttering in my lower belly.
“Seriously, that’s what you’re going with?” I shrugged like I didn’t have a clue as to what he meant. “Fine. I’ll play along. I’ve been working my ass off, leaving zero time for everything else.” His lips pressed together like he had something to add but stopped himself. “You want to know what I’m wondering?” I nodded. “Why?”
My heart galloped. “Why? Why what? I told you I didn’t do it.” Him not believing me hurt worse than those weight remarks from the detective and officer.
“Not that.” I released a relieved breath. “Why me? After all this time, why reach out to me now?”
“Oh, right. That makes sense.” Soft hairs brushed along my dry lips as I debated my response. “The short story. Wait, turn right here,” I said while pointing to my street. The rhythmic tick of the blinker hiked up my growing nervousness about him entering my home. “I read the article in the paper about your involvement with the cult case outside Waco, and when all this happened today, I thought about you. I figured it was worth a shot even though it’s been a while since….” Since you left me. I shook my head to not drag that hurtful memory out into the open. “Since high school. That cottage, the white one with navy shutters.”
I gripped the door handle as we slowed to a stop along the curb in front of my house. My stomach twisted and sweat coated my palms as I stared at my tiny, dilapidated house. Navy shutters outlined the three front windows, one hanging slightly askew thanks to the straight-line windstorm last year. White paint peeled from the siding and porch, revealing weathered wood beneath. The best feature was the large oak tree in the front yard, offering shade to half the house with his full branches that desperately needed a trim.
It wasn’t pretty, but it was home.
“Alec,” I said between increasing quick breaths. “I….” How did you explain to someone that you were a paranoid freak of nature who hadn’t had a single person enter her home in years?
“What?” he questioned. The sounds of him shifting in his seat reached my ears. “Something wrong?”
I tilted my head one way, then the other. “I don’t have people over. No one goes into my house except me. So you, the idea of you entering my house, is nerve-racking. New.”
“New,” he repeated in a tone that spoke to his confusion.
“I’ve lived a very simple life since you left.” Well, mostly, and all he’d ever find out about. “I have a rigid routine. No friends or dates, no family. I construct everything to keep others out and safe.” Groaning, I leaned my head back against the headrest and stared at the cloth covering the roof. “And now you’re here after years of nothing, and I haven’t talked this much in a single day in I can’t tell you how long and?—”
He held up a hand, halting my rambling. “Is there a point to this?”
Was that a hint of humor in his tone?
Rolling my head, I turned my gaze to him. “The point is, I’m nervous. You’re breaking my routine, and that makes me scared.”
Those gray eyes searched mine. “Scared of what, Rae?”
“You,” I admitted.
He flinched like I’d hit him.
Shit, that came out the wrong way. I wasn’t afraid of him, just scared of what he could do to my heart.
“You called me, Rae, not the other way around. I don’t even know what’s going on, yet you say you’re scared of me.”
“I know, I know.” Reaching across the dash, I gripped his thick forearm. “Scared is the wrong word. Damnit, Alec, I’ve had a shit day, okay? I’m intimidated, worried, freaked out, nervous, panicking. Nauseous.” I released him and turned toward the door before I could spew any more of my emotions. “It’s fine. I’m good. Let’s go.”
A billow of dust rose around my ankles before whisking away in the breeze when I leapt from the seat to the curb. The dark navy sky glittered with millions of bright stars and the nearly full moon, lighting the way down the concrete path to the house. If Alec cared about the state of my house, he didn’t say a word as we walked side by side to the front door.
At the door I unlocked the first lock, then the next and the next.
The weight of Alec’s stare had me swallowing hard. “I like my privacy.”
When I’d unlocked the fourth and final bolt, I twisted the knob and stepped inside, holding the door wide enough for his broad shoulders as he followed. The moment we were both inside, I secured all the locks once again and pressed the nine-digit PIN into the alarm’s keypad.
Leaning against the wall, I let out a relieved sigh. Finally home. Like Pavlov’s dog, my skin itched with the need to remove all clothing the moment I deactivated the alarm, just like I did every day when I arrived home. But today was a different story. Peeking one eye open, I watched Alec survey the small living room, his powerful arms crossed over his chest, making the sleeves of his dress shirt pull at the seams.
That cataloging gaze zeroed in on something, making him smirk. I leaned forward to see what he found so amusing. Haphazardly dangling from the couch arm was the crimson bra I’d removed yesterday and tossed aside. I checked the rest of the living room, finding the remaining clothes flung randomly throughout, an empty popcorn bowl turned over on the floor, and three empty wine bottles staring back at me from the coffee table.
Embarrassment heated my cheeks. I pressed my fingers to my face to ease the growing warmth as I dashed around the room picking up the discarded clothes, snagging the bra first. Hopefully he didn’t have time to notice the small cup size. My breasts never got the memo that I was a full woman and had stayed at a small size B since puberty.
“I thought you didn’t date,” Alec said, his voice deep, almost accusing.
Bent over, picking up my pants, I shot a look over my shoulder.
“I don’t.” After tossing the armful of clothes into my room and slamming the door, I checked the room again only to cringe when I saw the dreaded shoebox shoved beneath the coffee table. He could not see that. Then he’d know exactly how pitiful I really was.
Alec moved as I shouldered past him. “Then why are there clothes strewn about the room? Seems like someone tugged them off you in a damn hurry. You have a boyfriend you’ve conveniently left out along with the details regarding your incarceration?”
I snorted. “First, they never charged me, thank you very much. Second”—I looked up and held his gaze as I kicked the shoebox under the couch—“No boyfriend. The clothes, that was me.” His head tilted in this cute little confusing way. “Regular clothes are….” I wiggled a little, as if the mention of them added another layer of itch to my skin. “When you have this much to cover, clothes are uncomfortable. I shed my work clothes the moment I walk through the door in exchange for my comfies.”
A beat passed between us. The corner of his perfect lips twitched before tugging up into a smirk, making that damn dimple I’d forgotten about pop. How could I have forgotten that little tidbit about him? I used to love poking it whenever it made an appearance.
“Then what are you waiting for?” His voice was deeper, full of mischief. He slipped both hands into the front pocket of his jeans. “Strip and get comfortable. Don’t let me hold you back.”
“Um, no?”
“Nothing I haven’t seen before, Rae.” His straight white teeth gleamed with his wide smile. Those stormy gray eyes twinkled.
“Wow. Wow,” I said, not having any other retort. “Stop right there. We are not going there.” Even though my now throbbing center so wanted to go there. Every part of me remembered what his talented fingers could do.
He shrugged and stretched his arms high above his head, the curve of his knuckles hitting the ceiling. “Your choice.”
I scoffed. Right, my choice. Like he’d want anything to do with me. He probably had women in the wing ready to fall on their knees with a simple acknowledgment. Was I jealous? Hell yeah. There was only so much pleasure you could wring from a battery-operated boyfriend. And pretty sure I passed that unfortunate threshold last year. Sure, it felt good, but I missed the feel of another’s hands on my body, of riding high on lust, making me forget everything but the person in my arms.
An attention-grabbing cough turned me back to Alec, whose brows furrowed as he studied me.
“You need to eat, right? I know how you get when you’re hungry.”
A sinking feeling settled in my stomach at his words. I didn’t want him to do that, to remember things he tossed away—that he left without a second glance back to the woman he said he loved.
Reluctantly, I followed him to the small galley-style kitchen while reinforcing the walls around my heart from this man.
“Whoa,” he remarked as he scanned the contents of my fridge. “All there is in here are takeout boxes.”
“Yeah, I don’t cook. It’s hard for one.” I shrugged like admitting that out loud didn’t rub salt in an old wound. “Let’s order something. But first.” I stepped around him and slid a bottle of red wine off the counter. “Remove work clothes, put on comfies, then wine. If I can’t have the first two, I’ll definitely need this.” Good thing the stress of the day chased away the earlier hangover.
He shut the fridge door and came to stand behind me, leaning against the opposite counter while I twisted the metal cap off the bottle. Yep, high-class drinking for this girl. No corks, just twist tops. I withdrew a wineglass from the cabinet and filled it halfway.
“Want some?” I asked, my voice faltering with the intensity of having him so close.
“I’m on the job, remember? No drinking for me.”
“Afraid I’ll make a run for it?” I released a humorless laugh. “Pretty sure you could catch me if I somehow got around you. I’m not that fast. Plus, there’s no way to sneak out of here. The locked windows have a protective coating, making them unbreakable. There are seven bolts on the back door, four on the front, and a highly sensitive alarm that’s almost always set. Believe me, if I planned to escape your studious guarding, I wouldn’t have brought you here.”
I turned and leaned against the opposite Formica counter, then took a long sip.
His grip along the edge was so tight his knuckles were void of color. “Who are you protecting yourself from? Why all the security?”
“To keep me safe inside where I can’t hurt anyone.” I took another lengthy drink. “You’re my last resort, Alec. I have no one left to help me figure this out.”
“No one?” His hand loosened and reached forward, almost like he wanted to grab me and pull me close, but stopped.
“No one. Listen.” I downed the remaining cool wine from the glass. “If we’re going to do this, me hashing out everything that’s happened over the last several years, explaining why I was at the station, and dealing with being stuck around you—” I blew out a breath, pushing the stray hairs away from my face. “—I need my pajamas, pizza, wine, and my couch.”
Humor lit behind his soft gaze. Standing taller, he waved a gentlemanly hand toward the bedroom. “You change and I’ll order the pizza. Then we talk. And, Sunshine?” He leaned in close, putting us nearly nose to nose. “I think you’re stalling. Don’t get too comfortable or drunk, because we won’t be sleeping until I get the full story.”
“Okay, you mean leaving, right? As in you leaving to stay at a hotel. You won’t be leaving until you get the full story.”
A few locks fell along his forehead as he shook his head. I fought the urge to brush my fingers along his skin and sweep them away. “Sleeping. I’m not going anywhere, Sunshine. You’re mine to guard until further notice, which means I’m your new roommate too.”
I licked my lips, dragging his intense gaze lower.
A sleepover with Alec Bronson.
Was I terrified or excited?
One thing was for certain: I didn’t imagine the heat behind his eyes right now or the way he leaned closer than necessary.
This could get very interesting.
Hope I have enough wine.