Chapter 8
8
RAE
A roar of curses and pain-filled groans snapped me awake the following morning. My heart raced at the sign of someone in my home before the prior day’s events caught up with my sleep-addled mind.
Almost arrested.
One phone call.
Alec Bronson.
The much older, muscular brute known as Alec Bronson who was currently in the next room clearly upset about something. There was something wrong with me that his shouts didn’t set me on edge but offered relief, meaning he didn’t die in the middle of the night.
I was a whack job. But when you’d been surrounded by death as much as I had, I figured I was fairing pretty well. I hadn’t gone completely insane—yet.
Slipping out of the cool sheets, I padded to the dresser and retrieved a heavy sweatshirt. It was warm in the house, but I’d rather be hot and braless than cool and have to put a bra on before stepping into the living room. Twisting the knob, I pulled the door open and walked straight into a solid wall of muscle.
“Ouch,” I exclaimed, my hand flying up to my nose to rub the soreness away. I retreated a step and glared up at Alec.
Bloodshot, tired eyes stared down from where he towered over me. The deep purple, swollen bags made his gray eyes appear almost black. I winced at the irritation radiating off him.
“Sleep well?” I cringed.
The old wood groaned under his tight grip on either side of the doorframe. “Either I sleep in your bed tonight or we’re staying in a damn hotel. I will not sleep on that miniature-ass piece of furniture you call a couch one more night. Do you understand?”
I nodded, unable to speak. The sheer dominance in his tone and the way he stood over me sent a flutter straight to my core.
“Good. I need a shower.”
Snaking my arm past his waist, I pointed toward the bathroom. “That’s the only one. I put a towel in there for you last night.”
He was still on the phone when I’d locked my bedroom door and crawled into bed—after retrieving the box of notes from under the couch and shoving them back into their hiding place under the bed.
His eyes narrowed further as he leaned deeper into my bedroom. His arm muscles flexed at the cuffs of his white undershirt, threatening to rip at the seams as the lower hem rose slightly, displaying a row of taut ab muscles. My fingers twitched at my side, desperate to reach out and feel the ridged surface.
“This house is not big enough for the two of us.”
“Then leave,” I said with false bravado. I really didn’t want him to, nor did I want to go to a hotel. There had to be a compromise. “You’re the one who’s all ‘I can’t leave, you’re under my control,’” I mocked.
A sharp gasp seized in my throat when he quickly closed the space between us, putting us toe to toe. Each step I retreated, he moved closer until my back hit the tall dresser.
“Make no mistake”—the words vibrated in his chest with his deep, menacing tone—“you are mine, and I protect what’s mine. It’s you and me, Sunshine, against the world.” His voice deepened as his gaze slipped to my parted lips. “You’ve always been mine.”
Before I could register what was happening, his lips slammed against mine and a hand fisted in my sleep-tousled hair. It wasn’t even a thought when I kissed him back with the same amount of intensity, pouring out my hurt, fear, and loneliness.
Then he vanishedfrom my room, leaving me panting, wet, and so fucking confused.
It took several minutes before my legs would hold my weight and I could shuffle to the kitchen. I flipped off the closed bathroom door as I passed. What an asshole, playing with my emotions like that. Yet I’d let him. It wasn’t like I pushed him off or told him to stop.
“I’m a lost cause,” I muttered to myself as I filled the coffee filter with grounds. I tossed an extra scoop in for good measure; the way this morning started out, I would need the extra caffeine to get through the day. I flipped the switch, which turned bright orange as the machine gurgled to life.
The counter edge dug into my lower spine as I watched the dark liquid drip into the glass carafe. Did he really just kiss me? Morning breath and all. And he called me his. Or was that a dream? I pressed two fingertips to my lips. Maybe I’d become that delusional to daydream something and believe it actually happened.
The clang and roar of the shower turning on had my gaze slipping to the kitchen doorway. I hadn’t imagined the kiss. Or the possessive gleam in his eyes, or the desperation in his hold in my hair.
Holy fuck, that was hot. Even just thinking about it made my entire body quiver. When we were younger, we never went all the way. Just a few stolen moments toward the end, before he left, where our make-out session went a little too far. I loved the feel of his hands on my skin, and I still remember the first orgasm he pulled from me with a few delicate touches.
The Alec back then treated me like I was made of glass. Too perfect and innocent. Grown Alec, the man now naked in my shower hopefully using my loofah, was demanding, dominant, and I wanted more. So much more.
A shouted curse snapped me out of my lusty haze. My feet pounded against the worn hardwood as I rushed to the bathroom, where another shout still reverberated against the walls.
It was my house, my lame excuse for why I didn’t knock. Steam billowed out of the small room into the short hall, most still clinging to the inside of the bathroom.
“Everything okay?” I asked, taking a step into the bathroom just as he tore the shower curtain back.
I opened my mouth to say something, only to shut it again when no intelligent words formed in my stunned brain. All I could do was stare. Ripped abs, chiseled heaving chest, thick corded forearms, and strong biceps were all too much to take in at once. Then my gaze slipped lower and my heart stopped. Holy hell, he was huge and hard. His dick twitched under my full focus.
“Rae.” My name was like a whip, the word sharp. I tore my gaze upward to meet his hooded lids. “Eyes up here.”
I hummed in agreement, still not trusting my voice.
“Did you forget to tell me you have all of seven minutes of hot water?”
“Water, yeah.”
Droplets flicked off the ends of his drenched hair with the shake of his head. “Never mind. You should go.”
“Why?” Not sure if that was the right response, but it just slipped out.
“Go, Rae. Now.” That commanding tone sent me back a step. “And shut the door.”
Damnit.
Ducking my head, embarrassment finally catching up now that my brain registered what I’d done, I closed the door and turned to the living room.
Screw coffee, I need a cold shower now too.
Several minutes later, he finally emerged from the bathroom—fully dressed, to my disappointment. Sitting on the couch, I sipped my coffee, watching as he stormed around the room, shoving his dirty clothes into a duffel bag.
“Shit night sleep, hot water vanishing before I….” He cast me a wary look. “And Charlie flying in at some point. It’s shaping up to be an interesting day already.”
And that kiss , I wanted to add. Was that part of the shit day or a bright spot he obviously wanted to forget and not mention? Instead, I hooked my thumb toward the kitchen. “At least there’s coffee.”
“Thanks,” he said over his shoulder, already entering the kitchen.
“Who’s coming today? Charlie?” I shouted so he could hear me. This was a safe conversation, not approaching the fact that I stared at his dick for a solid minute earlier. Did all guys get hard in the shower? That seemed odd unless he was….
Oh. Ohhh.
Now I understood why he was so grumpy.
I smirked behind my coffee cup as he reentered the room, a steaming cup in his hand.
“I need some help with the details of the case. He’s with the FBI, and I’ve worked with him on other cases before. He can help me retrieve everything the police have on each of those unsolved cases. We can review them one by one and see if anything was missed or maybe look into other suspects they had.”
“Great,” I replied, not knowing what else to say with the tension mounting between us. As the quiet seconds ticked by, it grew stifling. “I’m going to get ready for work. Be ready to leave in thirty?”
“Great,” he grumbled, attention stuck to his phone.
I had to agree with him on one thing: today was shaping up to be an interesting day.
Okay, what is his deal? I glared over the stack of books that needed inventorying to the man I couldn’t decide if I wanted to strangle or wanted him strangling me.
I needed professional help.
Across the library, he sat at one of the three open tables, leaning forward with his elbows digging into his thighs, studying his phone. We didn’t talk about what happened earlier, my stare-off with his dick or the kiss. In fact, we didn’t talk at all. We had to do something or this awkwardness would eat me alive from the inside out. But how did you bring something like that up to someone clearly set on avoidance as the best option?
Maybe I should pass him a note.
The thought made me chuckle. We used to pass a dozen notes a day back in school. I didn’t hold on to all of them, just the ones that had some kind of deep-rooted meaning to us as a couple. It was pathetic that I still had them, but for someone who had very little hope in her life, holding on to those words of his somehow kept me strong through it all.
Did he ever think about me the way I’d thought about him? Wondering what would’ve become of us if he hadn’t disappeared from my life? I still didn’t know where he went, and I was too afraid of the impact of his answer to ask.
A dark shadow crept over my desk before a man stepped into my line of sight, blocking my view of Alec. The overpowering body spray sent me reeling back a few inches to catch a clean breath. Long stringy hair hung to his narrow, scruffy jawline. Cold lifeless eyes stared down at me, but he didn’t say a word.
I wasn’t surprised by his somewhat disheveled look.
“Need to use the computers to build a résumé and look for jobs?” I questioned but already knew the answer. When I stood, the man took a shaky step back. “It’s okay. I’ll show you to the computers and help you get started. Sound good?”
He gave a weary nod in answer.
“Follow me.” My flats padded against the thin multicolored carpet. A deep line indented between Alec’s brows, his eyes tracking the man’s every movement as we walked past. “How long have you been out?”
“One week.”
I nodded.
“Congratulations on your release. We’ll get you back on your feet in no time.” The chair slid easily away from the desk as I motioned for him to sit down. He slumped into the curved plastic, shoulders rounded. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s easier than you think. I’ll get a résumé template started for you.”
Once he was all set, I left him to fill out the information on his own.
“Who’s that?” Alec asked, his intense focus still zeroed in on the only other person in the library.
“No one you need to worry your pretty little head over,” I said lightly. “We get visitors like him all the time. We’re the only library on this side of town, so their probation officers send them here to use the computers to look for work.”
“Probation officer,” he nearly growled. The hand wrapped around his phone tightened. “This happens when you’re here—alone. I don’t like it.”
I shrugged. “Fortunately, you don’t get an opinion. Most I’ve met were sentenced for petty theft, minor drug charges, things like that. Nothing violent. If someone with a dangerous record stops by, their probation officer usually calls and gives us a heads-up, but I’ve never felt threatened. Most come in here hoping to turn their lives around, and I enjoy helping.”
Alec groaned and eased back into the chair. “Same old Rae. You always were the type who thought everyone deserved a friend.”
I wanted to remind him not to bring stuff like that up, but today it felt different. It felt good and comforting that he remembered specific things about me.
“What’s for lunch?” he asked. “I’m starving.”
I forced a smile into a blank stare. “We just ate breakfast.”
“It was cereal, not breakfast. And that was two hours ago. I need a snack. You don’t look like this without constant calorie intake.” For emphasis, he patted his flat stomach.
“Wish snacking did that to me.”
“You’re perfect from my point of view.” He visually traced over every curve, every dip of my body.
I snapped, the tension from this morning and now this making me hit my breaking point.
“No,” I said and jammed a finger into his chest, hurting me more than him. “You do not get to say shit like that. You do not get to kiss me and walk away. I’m tired of your mood swings.” I chanced a glance at the man at the computers, his rapt attention on us. Shit. I was yelling in a library. I lowered my voice and hissed, “You do not get to act like any of this is okay. Not when you’re the one who left. Not when everything we were clearly meant nothing to you.”
“Who said it didn’t?” he rasped. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, Sunshine.”
“Stop making me feel something you clearly don’t,” I whisper-yelled. I held my ground under his challenging stare. “You either want me or don’t. Stop playing with me.”
“I’m not doing this here,” he said through gritted teeth. “Actually, we’re not doing this at all. This is strictly business, nothing more.”
“Then what about that kiss?”
“A slip in judgment.”
I reeled back, his words a slap to the face and knife to my heart. Tears welled, but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of letting them fall.
“Am I interrupting something?” said an unfamiliar voice filled with amusement.
Who the hell is that?