Chapter Twelve #2
I nod again. “There was blood everywhere. I guess everyone stood there freaking out for a while, watching as I bled from my head before someone finally called an ambulance.” I can’t remember much from the point of falling, only being incredibly scared and in pain, then it was nothing but losing control.
After spending years of my life perfecting every move I make, of being graceful, yet always in complete control, to lose it… Was terrifying.
“Those motherfuckers. The hospital couldn’t repair the damage, or was it too much?”
“The hospital fixed my jaw and my wrist. However, my wrist isn’t as strong as it was before, no matter how much I Google physical therapy moves for it and work on strengthening.
I had sprains everywhere, which are easily reinjured now when stressed too much.
I didn’t have insurance, and my abuela couldn’t afford to help.
The money raised locally wasn’t enough to cover my ear surgeries I would need to regain my hearing.
The hospital basically fixed the most pressing issues and wrapped everything up in a bandage to be dealt with at a later time to avoid the expenses.
I work through physical therapy moves daily that I found online for free to help anything I can; the yoga has been a game changer.
However, there’s no physical therapy move I can do for my hearing issue. ”
His frown deepens as he stares at me with confusion, “Wait, so they could’ve fixed your hearing with surgery when it happened?”
I shrug, playing it off, but it’s something I think about all the time, no matter how hard I attempt not to.
“It’s a possibility. I didn’t lose all of my hearing, it’s hard to explain.
I can hear different sounds, but they’re indistinct.
I can’t tell who’s talking or if it’s a television, and the sounds aren’t like regular words.
It’s all foggy, if that makes sense. The best way to describe it is if I’m underwater.
I know there’s sound, but I can’t tell what sound. ”
“And it’s the same in both ears?”
“I hit both sides, the first in the initial fall, the other when my head bounced off the ground. The doctor tried to tell me it could heal over time, but so far it hasn’t.
It’s something I’ve learned to live with and that I’ll most likely have for the rest of my life.
” My tears have begun to dry up. I was dreading this conversation with him, but in the end, it’s actually a bit cathartic to get it all out.
It’s been a very long time since I’ve spoken about my injuries so much openly.
“And ballet? Why don’t you dance there again? You’re unlike anyone I’ve ever seen before, you move like the wind.”
God, if only he saw me before, he’d easily notice the difference. I was considered a future prodigy, the dancing world at my fingertips. Now, I’m slower, clumsier, scared . I don’t ever admit the last part, though.
“Well, aside from them basically telling me I would never be good enough again to even consider a position with the company, my hearing loss affects my balance. My broken wrist, my sprained ankles, and injured shoulder, it’s all stuff I can work through, but it’ll never be back to where I was when it happened. ”
“Fuck them,” he huffs angrily. He’s deadly serious as he declares, “You dance like a motherfucking goddess. I meant what I said, the nights you’ve danced for me; you are the best I’ve ever seen.”
I offer him a tender smile. The man always knows how to make me feel special in his own way.
He’s everything I needed in my life, but never knew it.
“I learned other types of dance to help make up for it and to also improve my balance. However, I have had multiple falls since my accident. I fractured a rib, was concussed, and re-sprained my left ankle in some of those later falls. I’ll never be where I need to be to follow my dreams of ballet.
I had trained for most of my life just to get to where I was before. ”
“I truly am sorry. I wish I could take your pain away and make all of your dreams come true.”
My lip wobbles at his sincerity, and I nearly admit he’s already easing my pain by being so wonderful to me. “Thank you, I’m taking it one day at a time.”
“I’m proud of you for being so damn strong, shortcake. Now tell me the name of who threw you.”
I knew it would come to this once I shared my story, so I can’t say I’m surprised by his question.
The thing is, now that I have Powerhouse, I don’t want anything to take him from me.
Sadly, my trauma will if I allow it, he’ll end up in prison and I’ll be forced to spend the rest of my time on this planet apart from him. There’s no way…He means too much.
He means more to me than dancing ever has, and the knowledge puts everything into clear perspective for me.
I do love him.
I always will.
“It will solve nothing.”
He nods, “Okay, you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. Just know I’m here for you any way you’ll allow me to be.”
Wrapping my arms around him, I tug him close, admitting, “You are already changing my life, Powerhouse. You’ve made me smile more in the past week than I have in a long time, thank you.” I leave off the bit of how he’s made me fall head over heels for him, too. We’ll save that for the future.
He presses a kiss to my forehead before promising, “Anything for you.”
And I believe him.