Chapter 1
Chapter
One
SAVANNAH
“ C ome on, Cutter, we’re going to be late for school,” I called up the stairs and then rushed into the kitchen to continue making his lunch. Rushing and running around were not things I excelled at, and I swore and dropped the knife on the counter as I cut myself. “Dammit.”
Turning on the water, I ran my bleeding index finger under the spray. The dishtowel—the only thing in reach—became my wrap as I shut off the water and dashed across the kitchen to the drawer that held all the first aid stuff. I didn’t need this today.
I glanced over my shoulder as I put the antiseptic and sticky bandage on, but Cutter’s seat and bowl of cereal were still not touched. What was going on with him today? The rest of his lunch was made in record time. I didn’t know why NASCAR didn’t have mothers as their pit crew because no one could multitask at lightning speed the way we could. Stuffing the lunch into Cutter’s bag, I tore out of the kitchen and up the stairs, grabbed my jacket, and stuffed my arms through the sleeves as I went.
“Cutter, what’s taking so long?” Not only was Cutter always on time, but he was genuinely the greatest kid on the planet. I was sure every mother said that about their children, but it was as if Cutter had been born wise beyond his years. He creeped me out with how smart he was. It was great, but the words he said and used correctly were words I didn’t know until I was much older. It didn’t help that when he said these things seriously and with a tiny smirk on his adorable face, it felt like I was staring at a miniature version of Nathan.
Stepping into Cutter’s room, I found him sitting on the bed, dressed and ready for school, but his head was down as he held onto his Wolverine action figure. I walked over and sat down beside him.
“Hey, are you not feeling well?” He shook his head. “Are you having trouble getting ready?” He shook his head again. I wrapped my arm around his shoulders. “Then what has you so upset?”
He let out an annoyed sigh that had me biting my lip to keep from laughing. “Mommy, is Daddy really not coming home anymore?” My smile fell. Oh shit. “Why does he have to leave us?” His big blue eyes turned up to mine, and there was so much sadness in them that I almost burst into tears.
I knew when I took this undercover job that it was a risk bringing him with me, but I couldn’t leave him behind. My mother and I weren’t on speaking terms, and Nathan didn’t know about him. I needed to keep it that way until Cutter was old enough to understand.
It was supposed to be three to six months—tops. It wouldn’t have been a big deal, but Marko, getting deeper into the organization, created extension after extension. We’d tried to explain to Cutter that Marko was only Mommy’s friend—we were never intimate and didn’t even sleep in the same room—but he was still the only father figure he’d ever known. Marko was from the local office and had been undercover for over a year. He’d gotten in deep enough that dinners with family were expected, so they shipped me over here to be his pretend wife.
I’d grown to love Italy and was fine with staying, but I’d always worried what kind of toll it would take on Cutter when the job ended and Marko went home to his family while we flew back to the United States. Now, here I was, staring into Cutter’s sad eyes as guilt wracked every fiber of my being.
“We talked about this last night. Marko’s job is done, and he no longer needs to rent a room from us.”
When his lip pushed out and his eyes filled with tears, I wanted to take the last three years back. How could someone so young understand so much?
“But he was my daddy,” he said.
“Cutter, he isn’t your daddy. He is a really, really good friend. I know he’s going to miss you though. He told me before he left.”
“He has a family?” I nodded. “Can we just be part of his family?” I gave him a sad smile.
“It doesn’t work like that, Bud.”
Marko finally had enough information that a team raided and arrested twelve prominent members of a smuggling ring, including the right-hand man to Aldo Mancini, who was the head of the snake we’d been after here in Italy. But that also meant our time here at this house, pretending to be a happily married couple outside these doors, was over.
I needed to figure out how to explain all of this in a way that Cutter would understand, and at the moment, I was at a loss for the right words.
“How about we get you to school? After I pick you up this afternoon, we’ll go anywhere you want for dinner, and I’ll answer all your questions.”
“Anywhere I want?”
“Anywhere you want.” Smiling at him, some of the sadness lifted in his eyes as he nodded. “Perfect, go grab your shoes, and I’ll get you a blueberry bagel for breakfast. Would you like that?”
He nodded. “Okay.” Cutter hopped off the bed and ran to his closet but turned and looked at me. “Mommy?”
“Yeah, Bud?”
“Will he forget about us?”
My heart squeezed in my chest, and I felt like the worst mother in the world. “No, sweetie, Marko will always remember you and will always love you.”
That wasn’t a lie. Marko had fallen for Cutter hook, line, and sinker. Everyone did. His teachers gushed about him, and strangers on the street struck up conversations with him. Just the other day, we were at the store, and he sat down on the bus stop bench beside an old man and laid his hand on his. It was moments like that when I knew I’d done the right thing by not telling Nathan about him. Nathan’s world was dark. His father might have tried to kill us both, and I wanted Cutter to have a normal childhood, not one filled with drugs and violence. No matter where we went, Cutter was a bright star drawing everyone in, and I never wanted to see that snuffed out.
No, as hard as it was keeping this secret, Cutter deserved more, and the world deserved this version of him. I’d do whatever I needed to protect him from that life. If something happened to him, my heart would stop beating.
“Come on, Bud. I’ll stop on the way and get you a large chocolate milk.”
His eyes lit up. “Yay!”
I glanced in the rearview mirror at the sucking sound of Cutter’s straw emptying the last of his milk. He’d been quiet for most of the drive, but he still waved to someone at every red light. It made me wonder what Nathan was like when he was little and not corrupted by the world he lived in. I’d never been that social and would hide behind my mother’s legs, but Cutter was the complete opposite.
Not a single day had gone by that I didn’t think of Nathan and our whirlwind romance—and not just because the best thing that ever happened to me came from those weeks. Nathan had captured my heart, which was stupid and dangerous when I knew full well that he’d wasted no time moving on with his life. All you had to do was look up his name and see the dozens of pictures.
Pushing away all thoughts of Nathan and the fact that he would put a bullet in my head if he knew about Cutter, I turned down the side street across from the school and parked.
“Make sure you think about where you want to go for dinner tonight,” I said, unbuckling.
“Okay, Mommy,” he said, nodding.
Getting out, I grabbed my purse and then went around the car and opened Cutter’s door. I took his offered garbage since that was what I was now, a walking garbage container for all of his stuff. Gum was the worst. What did he want me to do with that? Reaching in, I got him unclipped from the car seat and helped him out, but he always insisted on walking.
It was cooler than usual today, and even though it was still warm, I shivered as a breeze tickled the back of my neck. My eyes darted up and down the street as I closed my door, but other than students and parents dropping off their children at the private school, there was nothing out of place, so I shook it off.
“Here you go,” I said, pulling out the small bag of figs and handing one to Cutter. It was another school ritual. I’d given him a fig as a treat one morning, and now he wanted to eat one every day before school.
“Grazie,” he said, and I smiled. It wouldn’t be long before he was smarter than me in two languages. “Mommy, can I go to Mario’s house on Saturday? He asked me to go play.”
I hated him being out of my sight. Paranoid? Maybe. But when you were always looking over your shoulder for a notorious mob boss, it made you as skittish as a cat on a hot tin roof.
“Let’s see what Saturday brings,” I said, but I knew I’d let him. It would be the last time he could play with Mario before we transferred home. I wasn’t looking forward to that because everything would be new for him. A new school and new friends. It made me sick to think of him having to adjust to all of this at once.
We walked hand in hand along the sidewalk and stopped at the traffic light to cross the street. My eyes darted in every direction, and I kept looking over my shoulder as my instincts told me something was off, but I couldn’t pinpoint what. Then I saw one and then another. Shit. They had to be Aldo’s men. They were dressed like parents or people sitting at the café. But no matter how hard they tried to look normal, the hardness in the soldier’s eyes gave them away.
There was only one reason they would be here. I tightened my grip on Cutter’s hand, and his eyes turned up to me.
“What’s wrong, Mommy?”
“I forgot something in the car. Let’s go get it.” I glanced down and smiled, but he already had the ‘I don’t believe you’ look down pat, and his eyebrow raised just like Nathan’s had. God, genes were weird that way.
“No, you didn’t,” he said, calling me out. “Come on, Mommy, let’s go.” Cutter pulled on my hand as the light signaled for us to walk. The men all moved simultaneously, hands going under their jackets. We needed to get out of here and get them away from the school. My pulse spiked as one of them tossed a cigarette onto the ground. Picking up Cutter, I ran for my car.
Gunshots rang out, but I kept my eyes on my vehicle. The squealing sound of tires and roaring of engines announced more men coming up behind me, but there was another line of black SUVs screaming along the road toward me. Oh my god.
“Mommy,” Cutter cried as the buildings around us took the bullets and sent debris flying into the air like shrapnel. I ducked as low as I could get, holding Cutter tightly as I ran.
Black vehicles surrounded my car, and men were firing, but I realized they were firing on the line-up of SUVs coming at us. More bullets rained down, and I cuddled Cutter to my chest and hid behind the tire of my car. There wasn’t an alley or anywhere to hide, and I had no idea what was going on or why there was so much gunfire.
I spotted a black shadow moving a moment before someone slipped around the back end of my car, and my eyes went wide.
“Nathan?”
“Let’s go. Now.” My shock-riddled mind allowed him to grab me by the shoulder, and we ran behind my parked car to the open door of his SUV. He shoved me roughly inside and slammed the door, blanketing our bodies with his. “Go,” he yelled.
Everything was happening so fast. The screeching of tires and then being jerked around as we flew down the street. I couldn’t see where we were going, but we’d made a sudden turn one way and then the other.
“Boss, they’re chasing us.”
“Doesn’t matter, just drive faster,” Nathan barked out, and Cutter buried his head tighter to me.
“What the hell is going on,” I asked. Nathan didn’t answer. “Nathan, what’s happening?”
“I’ll tell you when we’re out of danger,” he growled.
Fear lanced my heart even as gratitude for his protection wasn’t lost in the moment. No matter how thankful I was, I’d kill him before I let him take my son from me.