Mac
FOURTEEN
The room is silent, words hanging in the air. Sage looks at me with a scared expression before shuttering it away. Luna looks guilty after spilling the secret she didn’t know she held.
Dave is dead.
He’s been dead. For fucking years. I’ve been living a half-life out of fear a dead man would find me.
It would be hysterical if not for the fact that Sage never told me. He ignored my calls when he had this. Dave haunted my life, a sword hanging over my head. And Sage could have stopped it all.
“He’s never coming back.” That’s what he said. Over and over again, he told me Dave wasn’t going to come after me. But he never said how he knew he wasn’t coming back. He helped me out of a panic attack and didn’t say a goddamn word.
“Luna. You should go,” I say, my voice calm and dry. I don’t take my eyes off Sage. I watch him swallow and sit straighter. That’s right, buddy. Prepare for a fucking fight, you bitch.
“I don’t think—” she starts to object, scared to leave Sage alone with me. I’m a ticking time bomb. I’m fucking radioactive.
“Now, Luna.”
She jerks her head to Sage who just juts his chin towards the door. A silent agreement. She stays sitting on the edge of the couch I’ve called my bed for weeks.
“Don’t kill each other.” She finally rises from the couch and shuffles past us towards the door. “I love you both. Please remember you love each other, too.” The front door softly closes behind her.
“Mac—”
“Shut the fuck up, Sage. Let me fucking think.” I jump from the coffee table, my knee knocking into his. An anger I’ve never felt before makes me antsy. I need to move or I’ll strangle him.
“Don’t leave.” Fuck! His voice is so soft, so scared.
I scowl down at him. His eyes are pleading and so scared.
“Please. Hit me, kill me, whatever you want. Just don’t leave me.
Not again, Mac. Please.” My anger starts to sizzle out with his vulnerability.
But it spikes again when I think he’s trying to manipulate me.
That’s not his style, but I’m fucking irrational right now.
“I’m not fucking leaving. Just—” Fuck, my head is a mess. All my thoughts are jumbled together, too loud to decipher. My hands tug at my hair, pulling against the roots.
Sage killed my dad. I’m glad he’s dead. I’m so fucking relieved that piece of shit is now rotting in hell. But he’s been dead for two years! I can’t get those years back. I can’t go back and stay.
“You killed him.”
“Yes.”
“How?”
“Beat him to death right outside that door,” he deadpans, pointing. He beat him to death. All these words I know, all words I understand. But none of them stem any comprehension.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask, pacing around the living room. All pent-up energy and conflicting emotions.
“I called. I called so many times after you left, and after he died. And after I got let out of jail,” he tells me with a cold detachment.
“Then why didn’t you answer when I called you back?”
“You mean weeks later? Weeks after you snuck out of my bed? Weeks after my mom fucking died?” He’s yelling, standing from the couch with years’ worth of rage in his eyes.
Everything is so messed up. All of these conversations should have happened so long ago, not now! Not the day after the man I’ve secretly loved for years kissed me. Not after he swung open that door, only for Luna to slam it shut. Sage steps towards me where I pace.
“You promised me you wouldn’t leave. You swore it was always going to be us.” His fisted hand hits his chest with a thud. “But you left me!” Every word grows louder and louder until it’s a booming thunder. “You left me here alone, Mac!”
My pacing stops. I’m a goddamn statue by the TV. I know I hurt him when I left. I know I went about it wrong. I always lied to myself that he would understand. That one day he’d answer my call. But the days turned to weeks, weeks vanished into years, and he never answered.
“I killed Dave after he held a gun to my head. After he screamed in my face looking for the faggot.” Another step towards me.
His chest is now right up against mine. “I killed him for you.” His finger jams into my chest, right where he tapped it.
“I killed him so he could never hurt you again. Even after you abandoned me. Even after you fucked off and didn’t call for weeks, Mac!
For weeks, I waited! So no, I’m not sorry I didn’t tell you.
I didn’t owe you a goddamn thing.” I stare into the brown eyes I’ve looked at most of my life.
I see the scar on his eyebrow, the freckle next to his left eye.
I see the man who sacrificed everything for me. And I just left.
“Why?” This is the only question I can form. Why did he do it? If me leaving hurt that bad, why?
“Because you’re mine, you fucking asshole. You’ve been mine since I was ten years old and you decked Stephen Harris. You’re fucking mine, and that fucker tried to take you from me.” His voice wavers, stutters, and chokes at the end. My heart does, too. I feel a tear slip from my burning eyes.
This dick. Maybe it’s the high of the anger, maybe it’s the rollercoaster of chaos storming through my head. I grab the back of his neck and slam my mouth to his. Just as harsh as our first kiss, our teeth clanking together. I eat his gasp and demand more.
This time, he has to catch on. His body locked and tensed for a fight, not a kiss. When I nip his bottom lip, he snaps out of it, his hands grabbing onto me. We trip back a step, hitting the wall next to the TV.
The kiss is mean, and angry, and beautiful in its own way. It’s us. My tongue slips between his lips and twins along his. His teeth embed in my lip, and the taste of copper dances on my tongue.
I’m pinned to the wall, but my hand on his nape keeps me in control. His hand moves from my hip to my dick, and I moan. My dick throbs in his punishing grip. I mirror him, squeezing his hard cock in my hand. He whimpers into my mouth, his hips pumping into my hand.
The kiss is a war. Both of us fighting for control we already lost. But I’m willing to die on this hill.
I spin us around, pushing him into the wall with a thud. I break the kiss and stare into his dilated eyes. All I see is Sage. I search for the anger I had but come up empty.
“Mac,” he says, breathy and full of lust. His hand continues to rub me through my shorts.
I release him to tug his shorts down in one hard pull, his hard, thick cock springing free.
He copies me until we are both bare. I press forward, rubbing us together, loving the feel of his hard cock against me. Velvet skin over hard steel.
“I won’t leave you again,” I whisper, kissing the corner of his mouth as I grab both our cocks in my hand and jack us together. Pre-cum drips down both of us, making it slippery. He gasps and moans, dropping his forehead to mine.
Panted breaths, desperately chasing. This is Sage. My fucking Sage. I forget about everything that’s happened, all the words that remain unsaid. All I see, all I feel is him.
“Fuuuccckkk.” His hips jerk, thrusting his cock against mine. I swipe my thumb over his slit, spreading another squirt of pre-cum.
My skin feels hot; his hands feel like fire on my hips. He pulls me closer, tossing his head back against the wall. “Fuck, Mac. I’m—” His cock swells in my hand, right before he explodes. Cum shoots out onto my shirt and drips down my fingers.
My balls rise up, sparks flaring along my spine as I follow him over the edge. Black creeps in along the edges of my vision, but I can’t close my eyes. I can’t take them off of him. I slow down my frantic pace. Sage slumps against the wall, looking at me from under his wet lashes.
When the high of the orgasm fades and my vision clears, I drop my forehead to his once again.
“I’m sorry.”
“Me too.”