Chapter 10 #2
“What are you doing?” Tyler said. “It’s freezing.” He turned to the back. “Can I get some of that gum?”
Addison passed him a piece. “Do you want one?”
I could tell them to leave, throw them out. Or I could just get out and go. Abandon the car, come back for it tomorrow.
“Dr. Lausson? Some gum?”
Addison was talking to me.
“No. I’m fine.”
“I heard about this party in Columbus,” Tyler said. “I thought we could check it out.”
“What?”
“One day back in Sawyer and I already feel suffocated. It’s on Greenwood, near the Short North. I’ll navigate.” He pulled something up on his phone. “Can I put the heat back on? I’m losing feeling in my face.”
“Calm down,” Addison said. “You’re so dramatic about everything.”
What had I gotten myself into? Anything I could say would only draw attention to the fact that I shouldn’t even be here. I had no idea what to do. So I put the car in reverse, pulled out of the lot, and listened as Tyler directed us out of town.
We’d exited the freeway and were coasting through Columbus, dark streets, slick with melted snow.
“This better not be some stupid frat party,” Addison said.
“I wouldn’t do that to us, these guys are cool. They’re all graduated.”
“How did you say you know them?”
“We met in the fall, when I was down here.”
My trip to the archives. Tyler’s lost hours.
“I don’t remember hearing about that,” Addison said.
“Oh, turn here!” Tyler waved his hand at the window. “Right!”
I cut the wheel, tires skidding beneath us.
“Give a man some warning,” Addison said, laughing. He leaned forward, a hand on my shoulder. “Tyler sucks at directions.”
“Please withhold your commentary,” Tyler said. “It should be just a few blocks, another right.”
The party was in a neighborhood south of the university campus. We turned onto a residential street, low brick apartment buildings giving way to houses set back from yards still laced in last week’s snow.
“There’s a spot.” Tyler pointed to a gap behind a car.
“I think it’s too tight,” I said. “I’m going to block the driveway.”
“You’ll be fine. It’s late, no one’s going anywhere tonight.”
I parked and we got out. The flash of a lighter and Tyler’s face lit up, cigarette at his lips.
“I thought you were quitting this semester.” Addison hoisted a plastic bag from the car, provisions from the liquor store.
“Semester starts on Monday.”
The party was in an old house, sagging roof and dull chipped paint.
Despite the weather, packs of partygoers huddled at the lawn’s edge and on the porch.
We wove between smokers sitting on the steps.
The porch careened to one side, like it might detach itself from the house and slide away.
Near the front door, a guy in a red ski cap waved, face shining, and he called out, “Tyler!”
Tyler shouted hello and Addison swooped right in, introducing himself and then me—he called me Mark, not Dr. Lausson, thank god.
“So glad you made it,” the guy said—his name was Connor. “Get in here.”
We walked smack into a wall of noise, dense clusters of people shouting over brash music turned up too loud for the cheap sound system, all punctuated and frizzy.
A crooked lamp jammed into a corner glowed orange beneath a piece of fabric slung across the shade.
A wide staircase led to a second floor. Guests crammed along the length of it, fiddling with phones, passing down a joint.
“Kitchen is this way,” Connor shouted and took the bag from Addison.
A door beside the staircase opened and a group of girls spilled out, laughing.
I called, “We’ll catch up with you.” I grabbed Tyler’s arm, pulling him into the room and shutting the door. It was small, lit by a bare bulb, meant to be an office perhaps, but used for storage. Rusted bikes stacked against the wall, a battered desk. The air reeked of perfume and weed.
Before I could speak, Tyler jumped in. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean for this to happen, I swear.”
“Well, what did happen? I’m trying to stay calm here.”
“I know, I’m sorry. Addison was being super weird.
He’s been in this foul mood because of some stupid shit with Kennedy.
And I don’t know, he really wanted to hang out and kept asking what I was doing.
He was like pressing and wouldn’t let up.
So finally I said I was going to this party.
I just needed something to say. And then he asked if he could come and wouldn’t drop it. ”
“Jesus, Tyler. You should have called me.”
“I know. I’m really sorry. He was being so needy, I didn’t know what to do.”
“What did you tell him?”
“What do you mean?”
“About us. About me. About what I’m doing here.”
“Nothing. Just—I said we’re friends. That’s it. It’s fine. You don’t have to worry about anything.”
“I don’t know about that, I’m pretty worried.” I closed my eyes and leaned against the desk. From the other side of the door, a cackling laugh cut through the music.
Tyler tugged at my shirt. “Look at me.” And then another tug, when I didn’t. “Mark, look at me.” I opened my eyes. “I’m so happy to see you. I just wanted tonight to be fun.”
“I wanted that, too.”
He placed a hand on either side of my face, holding it like a book, or a prayer.
“Then let’s have fun.” He kissed me, the cigarette fresh on his breath. He pulled away, smiling. “It’s not so bad.”
I smiled back, despite myself. “It’s not.” And maybe he was right, I was freaking out over what? We were in Columbus, we weren’t even on a campus.
“Check it out.” On the floor, beside the desk, a bottle of wine.
“Those girls must have forgotten it.” He took a long swig and coughed.
“Wow that’s sweet, even for me.” He passed me the bottle.
The pink label had a drawing of a cat—I felt a quick pang; Safie had once said never drink wine with an animal on it.
I tipped it back—it was almost painfully sweet—and then drank again.
Tyler laughed. “So you’re not mad.”
“I’m not mad.” I reached around and grabbed his ass, pulling him to me. “I missed you.”
Tyler wiggled in my grip, rubbing himself against me. “I can’t wait for you to fuck me tonight.” He stretched on his toes and licked my chin.
The doorknob rattled again and then someone was banging on the door. It shook in the frame. A shout. “Who the hell is in there?”
Tyler pounded back, three hand punches. “Calm the fuck down!”
“We should go out there.”
Tyler took another long drink and passed me the bottle. I did the same, the sugary sweetness making my mouth water. I licked my finger and slid it down the back of his pants, past his underwear. He groaned. I leaned down and kissed him again, tongue filling his mouth, finger reaching inside him.
Whoever was on the other side shouted something else, I couldn’t make out the words.
“Fuck,” Tyler said, and pulled back, giggling. “Let’s go.”
We left, pushing through the press of bodies down a short corridor to the kitchen, where we found Addison. “There you are,” he grinned.
Tyler rooted around the countertop, crowded with bottles. He grabbed cups and poured, spilling some on his hand. He licked it off, red tongue darting. It was bright in the kitchen and the wine was already spreading its warmth, softening the space.
We threw back the tequila, chasing it with long gulps of beer. Addison laughed and coughed, spilling beer down the front of his shirt.
“You’re already a mess,” Tyler said. “I told you we would have fun. Let’s get in there.”
The other end of the kitchen opened onto the living room and we moved into it, humid and dense with dancing bodies.
It was dark, no lights, and it took my eyes a moment to adjust. Groups in tight circles, facing each other and singing along.
Girls with long hair swooping across their backs, bright fingernails clutching cups they raised above their heads, in triumph.
Scattered throughout, pairs of guys and girls slid up and down, snakelike and urgent.
Tyler yelled over the noise. “God, Sawyer parties are so boring.”
“Yo.” It was Connor. He pulled a joint from his mouth and lifted it toward us.
“Yes, please.” Tyler took a long drag, eyes narrowing, pink lips a slit beneath them. He released the smoke, a long, slow stream. “That’s perfect.” He passed the joint to Addison. Addison hesitated—his eyes shifting from me then back to Tyler. Tyler laughed. “It’s fine.”
Addison looked at me and I nodded. “Go ahead.”
He took a drag, a smaller one, and then turned to me, eyebrow raised. I hesitated.
“Come on,” Tyler said. “It’s a party.”
Addison smiled. “Just a puff?”
Fuck it, I thought. I’m here. Fuck Sawyer.
“Sure.” They both whooped. I closed my eyes and inhaled the muggy, pleasant burn of it. I held it in then let the smoke spill from my mouth.
“There we go!” Addison said, and clapped me on the shoulder—an easy friendliness that flattered; I wanted him to like me. Tyler laughed, and then I did, too. The noise of the party swelled around us.
“This is awesome,” Tyler said. “My two guys.”
From the throngs, one of the long-haired girls spotted Tyler and shouted, waving him over.
“Of course you know everyone here,” Addison said.
“Let’s dance.”
“You go ahead,” I said. “I’m going to take a moment.”
Addison charged into the crowd; Tyler lingered.
“This is okay?” he asked. “You’re having fun?”
“I am,” I said. “I like seeing you out in the world.”
“You don’t want to dance?”
“I’m happy just watching.”
“Yeah?” he asked, smiling. “You like watching me?”
“Go,” I said, laughing. “Dance.”