Chapter 9
NINE
THISTLE
Knox didn’t stop, not until the world was hazy and distant, pleasure burning through every rational thought—over and over, leaving me shivering and weak.
I was crying on and off, and I didn’t even know if it was bad tears.
I’d only cried over one Alpha before, and it wasn’t like this—or because of this.
I didn’t understand.
Well, I hadn’t… a few minutes ago… hours, maybe? But that was back when my mind was working the way it should.
Before the first wave of an orgasm—because I’d lied to him. When I’d climaxed that first time, there had been no pain—and I’d never experienced that before.
From the wrong Alpha…
Now floated on a cloud, the world nothing but movement and touch. Occasionally sound would crash in, when I heard myself cry out, or his coaxing of another orgasm.
At first, I’d almost missed a few of his commands, the sounds not working right, but now they broke through every time.
“ …Tighten that sweet pussy, Doll…”
“ …Present…”
“ …Come for me, again beautiful…”
And I just… couldn’t stop doing whatever he said, my touch starved body protesting at my own aversion, sending hormones to burn down any semblance of autonomy.
Finally, when I was so spent each breath ached in my lungs, his touch vanished, and I felt a gut-wrenching sadness when I realised it was over.
A sob caught in my throat, but I squeezed it down with all my remaining might.
He would leave, now, and I would be left with… Oh… Oh, it was going to be bad. I could feel the horror creeping in like little claws in my periphery, warning me I’d screwed up.
I felt him move me. I always knew when his skin was on mine, even when the world swam with a million unidentifiable shapes.
Huge arms were lifting me.
This… this was it.
He’d take me back to that room he’d given me and leave me to rot…
He’d… bring Bunny, right?
The weakest moan rose in my chest, the sob getting free, panic trying to force the world to make sense.
I n-needed Bunny.
Before my sob could turn into an all-out wail, he was setting me down.
Too soon. We could barely have shifted across the bed. The room was still his, ink and antique wood drifting into the air, fighting for space with my scent.
Now the pretence had died, and the scent dampener had worn off, his scent had been like a tide, rushing in. Obsessed and mad with lust, which still didn’t make any sense.
Something soft was tucked beneath my head.
A… pillow…?
Then a thin blanket was draped over my shivering body.
I swallowed, trying to get my bearings, when something was pressed into my arms. The old, familiar dusty smell warmed my heart.
Bunny…?
I hugged him tighter as I heard footsteps fading.
Oh…
Bunny… I think…
I clenched my jaw, feeling the monstrous edges of reality begin creeping in.
I was crashing hard—maybe harder than I ever had, and that was bad.
Really, really bad.
I’d fucked up so much tonight I didn’t think I could even tell Bunny. Something had gone wrong. Not a single time Knox had pushed me to an orgasm tonight, had it hurt.
I didn’t understand why, when I knew Rogue was within reach…
The thought cut off as I felt a brush against my cheek. The bed had moved again, ink and antique wood filled my senses, banishing all the horrible rational thoughts as he propped me up.
Something cold was pressed to my lips and then icy water touched my tongue.
“Drink…”
I blinked blearily, tilting my head back, swallowing a gulp.
“…Good girl…”
The fog got thicker at those words, my eyelids heavy again as my body shivered. Another sip, then another, and then I heard the sound of a glass being set on the side table.
Over too soon…
Was he leaving now?
My tears had stopped, but not for long.
Only, he didn’t leave.
Something hot and damp brushed my cheek, rough but still pleasant. I almost recoiled when the truth of what it was settled on my mind. As he took the cloth and wiped my face and neck.
Knox was… he was wiping my tears.
Cleaning me off.
There was something so frighteningly gentle about it that another sob of panic caught in my chest.
“Shh.” His hand closed around my neck. “Look at me.”
Again, it was impossible not to listen, and those intense caramel irises swam into my vision as I managed to blink my eyes open in the dim room.
“You did so fucking good, Doll,” he told me.
“Did I?” The broken question sounded stupid after it tumbled out.
He flashed his beautiful smile. “Cross my heart.”
When he was done, I felt the blanket shift, and then he was there, his soothing touch wrapping around my waist as he dragged me close.
“Wh-what are you doing?” My voice was raw and cracked, shock breaking through everything for a second.
“This is what you wanted, isn’t it, Little Doll?” he asked as he drew me against him.
He was… was holding me?
I curled up tighter, frightened of my reaction to that.
“Do you want me to play with you some more?” he asked. “While you go to sleep.”
I didn’t answer, instead sinking back against him in need, the desperation I felt every time I heard those words, seizing me by the throat.
Take me back… I don’t want to be here anymore.
He wanted me.
He wanted me like no one has ever wanted me.
Even if it wasn’t real, that’s all that mattered, right now.
He hadn’t fucked me though, and that left me with its own insecurity, but I let out a sigh of comfort as his touch dropped between my thighs, offering me something, for the millionth time tonight, that I’d never been offered before.
A drug.
An addiction.
Something with razor teeth and claws. Something that would catch up to me.
“Let me help you go to sleep.”
I hugged Bunny closer as his fingers dipped into me, and the touch was enough to banish my fears. It shouldn’t have been so easy, but his purr was at my back, teeth occasionally brushing my neck, and my spent body was more tired than it had ever been.
He held me closer than any Alpha had held me before, and the little mewl of pleasure I let out as his touch curled into my core sounded foreign to my ears.
Almost instantly my eyes fluttered closed, and the world faded away, my weary mind whispering lies of safety in a world made of nothing but sharp edges.