Chapter 33
THIRTY-THREE
KNOX
I woke in a sweat, pulling off my top sheet and sitting up.
I needed…
Fuck.
The side table came into focus. The one with a decanter full of golden liquid. I was on my feet, trying to calm my heart when?—
“Mother above—!” I caught myself on the bedpost before I bailed completely, almost crashing into something small on the floor beside my bed.
Thistle blinked up at me, messy black hair tumbling over her shoulders in waves, wearing nothing but black lace.
“What are you doing?” I demanded, sinking back down and trying to reorient myself.
My throat was parched.
Why was she waiting here like this?
My eyes darted to the side table with the decanter of whiskey, suddenly not needing it anymore.
“You uh… you seem… upset,” she said. “I thought you might want to use me for some relief.”
Use her?
I blinked, a shiver running up my spine as she reached out, knuckle brushing my leg, her pupils dilating at the touch.
Fuck me, it was impossible not to react.
Her teeth caught her lip as she watched me carefully, then she leaned closer, her lips brushing my shin, her hand sliding up my thigh to my boxers. Her pupils dilated as she felt my hard-on.
I hadn’t even noticed when that had happened.
One second I’d been in a nightmare, the next her bold palm was running along my hardness, pale skin milky in the moonlight filtering into the room.
Again, I was drawn back to the moment she’d been crouched over me, running her lips along my collarbone, drawing a cloth along my skin.
“Tell me you want me, Daddy,” she said, voice a whine of need.
I ran my tongue along my teeth. At my pause, her little fangs brushed my shin. I groaned.
“I told you…” I tried to find my sanity. “You were to come to bed with me.”
“If I wanted cuddles?” she asked.
“Yes.”
She just blinked at me, eyes sliding from my face, down to my cock, as if to say, ‘this isn’t cuddles’ .
Which it damn well wasn’t.
I was weak—ambushed in the middle of the night like this. If this was some kind of game, I was losing, and I didn’t give the first fuck.
She drew away, beautiful, violet eyes, holding mine as she pressed her tongue out, neck still tilted just slightly in deference.
God damn.
I had my cock in my fist before I realised it, and her eyes jumped to it, a perfectly delighted look on her face.
I tilted my head back with a groan as her hand closed around the base, where my knot was already swelling.
My dick still ached from her bite, and I’d never admit it, but it gave me a half-mast when I thought about it. That dull ache returned with a vengeance as she ran her tongue along it.
This Omega was going to be my end.
By the time her lips wrapped around my length I was almost done. I balled my fist in her hair to steady myself as she took me all the way into her mouth.
Her large eyes held mine the whole time, even as I held her there, playing with fire as her throat squeezed me like a vice before I drew out again.
“If I let go, will you choke yourself?”
“Mhmmm…” The noises she was making were aroused, and I don’t know how I held on as she took me deep over and over until there were tears streaming down her cheeks.
“Fuuckkk…” Finally, it was too much, and I fisted her hair again, gripping the base of my cock as I finished down her throat.
She was mind blowing.
I almost felt drunk as I leaned down, dragging her lips up to meet mine, driving my tongue into her mouth. When I let her go, her eyes were dancing with delight.
In a bid to sort my dizzy brain out, I got to my feet, crossing to the bathroom to clean myself off and splash water onto my face.
But by the time I stepped out of the bathroom, she was gone. My stomach dropped until I saw my blankets shift.
I don’t know why, but I’d expected her to leave after. She was one of the oddest creatures I’d ever crossed and it seemed to fit that she’d ruin me like that and vanish.
Instead, I was witness to the sight of a small shape wriggling beneath my blankets, burrowing deep and getting comfortable. As I watched, her head popped back out, and she gathered them up to her chest before spotting me and freezing.
We stared at each other for a long moment.
That kind of behaviour meant she felt safe—right? Or it should . But I had no right to that.
I was the Alpha who’d bought her to torment her scent match.
And yet something had changed yesterday, and fuck me, but I couldn’t get her out of my head.
I stepped toward the bed, and she shrank, eyes darting to the door before she clutched the blankets closer.
I crossed the last bit of distance and took a seat on the edge of the bed. “Staying?” I asked, like it was going to be a trick.
“Mhmm.” She patted the blankets around her anxiously, and I noticed Bunny was already tucked in. “I should stay. In case you need anything else—it’s my job to make sure you don’t rut.”
I stared at her.
Was that anxiety I was seeing?
At my silence, her scent began to give her away. Her knuckles were deathly white as she squeezed the life from my duvet.
“I could wait on the floor—I mean, if you want , but I should stay?—”
“Absolutely not.”
After what she’d just done to seduce me?
Every nightmare had been obliterated in an instant.
Her scent spiked, and I caught what was real panic. Her lip trembled as she drew the blankets closer. “B-but I already burrowed.”
I frowned.
Ah. Shit.
“I meant you aren’t waiting on the floor.”
Her whole frame relaxed.
She hadn’t just got in, I realised, her scent was rising in the air, far too strong, as if she’d scent marked half of it already.
“Come here.” I beckoned her. She shuffled closer, and I nudged her chin up. At my touch, she nuzzled against my palm, clambering over me, and—to my surprise—her hand slipped down to my crotch.
I caught her hand, drawing it away.
“Um…” She looked worried again. “What do you need? I can?—”
I flipped my hand, thumb pressing against her lips to cut her off. “That’s not what I want.”
I realised most of our sexual interactions had been marathons, but I was still reeling from tumbling from the nightmare, to nearly tripping over an angel, and more sex wasn’t what I wanted.
Instead, I drew her close, burying my face into the crook of her neck, inhaling frosted moonflower. Enough to rid my mind of the darkness I’d just left behind.
Next thing I knew, bony arms had tentatively wound around me, and she was clutching me like the last life raft on a sinking ship.
This felt… real, and for a moment I found myself wondering wildly if she might like me for me. No one had ever chosen me for me, not without chains or obligation…
I lifted my hand, holding her closer, a low purr rumbling to life in my chest. Again, she went still, as if she wasn’t sure what to do with what was happening.
In perfect alignment with the emerging trend I’d been seeing, she didn’t know what to do with interest and affection.
I’d never, before the last day, truly considered the ramifications of what it must have been like, living as a scent match to Ace Maverick. I’d landed lucky-side-up when it came to the psychopathic Alpha, so I didn’t hate him—not like Rogue did.
But now, I thought I could see the fallout.
And, just like earlier, I wanted to fix it. Only this time, I failed at holding back—at committing to actions I wasn’t sure I could backup.
“You’re so perfect,” I breathed, dragging my teeth against her skin.
“P-perfect?” She asked as I drew away. She glanced up at me, then squeezed her eyes shut—not fast enough that I didn’t see the glassy look in her eyes.
“I’ve never met an Omega I wanted until you.”
It was as if she was made of china, frozen and delicate, as if she might shatter if I squeezed too tight. This side of her was so different to the more bold, confident sides of her she fronted in her discussions with Bunny.
“No one else ever ?” those words were so broken, it was like a fist closing around my heart. “N-no other… Omegas?”
“No, Doll, you’re the first Omega I’ve ever claimed.”
She held on tighter, going from porcelain princess to barnacle in a second.
“O-okay…” She swallowed, trembling against me. I let out another purr as her whole frame turned to liquid. I felt the trace of wet tears against my chest.
Once more, I thought about biting her. My lips trailed down her neck, teeth grazing her skin.
How many times had that happened now? How many times had I failed to go through with it? The reasons not to, they were fading, one by one.
I could claim her in a bond, and she would be mine forever.
She let out a contented hum, as if the hint of my claim was something she wanted…
I didn’t think I deserved that.
Her fingers dug into my chest as she drew me closer, voice faint and happy. “I think I love you, Daddy,” she whispered.
I shut my eyes, ever so slowly, drawing away.
Had she just…?
But… she couldn’t mean it.
Still, my chest warmed as I heard words I didn’t think I’d ever hear again.
That was it: the one reason I couldn’t. I think it would be the last thing that made me the very monsters I chased.
A claim for me.
To cage.
To own.
Without a thought for what it would mean for her.
Except she’d seen that cruelty before. It left her with jagged shards of should-have-beens and dreams she barely dared whisper, clutching close a ragged Bunny made of stitches as if without it her own might come undone.
And somewhere down the line, stupidly, impossibly, I’d decided I wanted to be the one to begin sewing patches back on so she might have a chance to breathe again.
But if I bit her, I couldn’t be that person.
Because I couldn’t be in a pack with Rogue, and I thought he might be one of those patches she needed so desperately, too.
One day, she’d have to choose.
I shut my eyes, arms winding around her frame, a low growl of a claim in my chest I knew would make her melt.
One day, but not tonight.
Tonight, she was here, holding me close, and banishing every last nightmare.