Chapter 19
NINETEEN
Logan
“Thank fuck her place was small and she didn’t have much shit.”
Sebastian wipes at his sweaty forehead as we both look around the now empty space. Even with Elizabeth not having all that much shit, as he put it, it still took a full solid day to pack it all up.
That was paused for a bit when she realized that she wouldn’t be getting her deposit back since she was breaking the lease.
I had to explain to her how lucky she was that at least there was high demand for places to rent, and they already had a couple of people interested, that way the landlord wouldn’t be losing rent money as it sat empty.
“Just think of it as the deposit being paid to me now,” I said to her.
She cried harder. “So I’ll be out double the deposit?”
Me and Sebastian stood here, staring at her, both of us confused as all hell. It took a little bit of time to calm her down and explain that she wouldn’t be out anything, and I regretted even opening my mouth.
Now, we have a moving truck full of her stuff, ready to be unloaded at my house.
Sebastian drags his feet toward the passenger side of the truck. “Can we work on this tomorrow? I’m fucking beat. And I wanna go out tonight.”
“Tomorrow is great,” I jump to assure him. I’m done with this shit for today, too. “I appreciate all your help,” I make sure to tell him.
It all happened so fast once Elizabeth agreed to move in with me, I didn’t have any time to really think things through. Since I don’t know any of the locals, and I didn’t feel comfortable asking my other teammates for help, Sebastian was my only hope. Thankfully, he did not disappoint.
I get in the driver’s seat and start the engine, grateful when the cool air of the AC hits me in the face.
“Fuck, I can’t believe how hot it is. What if I never get used to this?”
It’s a legit concern. The heat is different than it was back on the east coast where I’d been for most of my life. It really sucks that I couldn’t get a contract in a cooler climate. Minnesota sounds freakin’ amazing right about now. They probably still have snow on the ground.
“I hear that,” Sebastian laughs. “I can’t wait to go back home next month. Smelling New York City has never sounded better.”
I bust out laughing. “Smelling New York City has never sounded good in the history of the city.”
“True that,” he snickers. “But at least I’m not gonna feel like I’m taking a deep breath of steam every time I’m outside.”
“When are you leaving for New York?” I ask him.
“Four weeks from yesterday,” he replies, sounding very precise with the information, then realizing what he did. “Not like I’ve been counting or anything.”
I snort at that and put the truck into gear, ready to pull out of the parking lot at Elizabeth’s apartment. She’s currently at my house, unpacking the clothes she took there in her car.
“Fuck, man!” Sebastian grips on the handle on his door. “Are you sure you know how to drive this rig? I’d hate dying in a head-on collision.”
I go over a small speed bump, which makes us bounce in our seats, and he presses a hand to the ceiling without letting go of the door.
“Getting into a car accident is one of my biggest fears,” he continues. “I need you to know that, so that it can hopefully help you focus and not get us both killed.”
In all honesty, I’ve never driven anything like this before, and I am a little concerned myself. We are so high up from the ground, all the cars around us look small and breakable.
“I’m more concerned about me running over one of these cars,” I tell him. “It’s like we’re in a monster truck.”
I turn on the signal, ready to turn onto the main road. Once that’s done, I press on the gas, ready to move things along.
“Fuck! Slow down, slow down,” Sebastian yells at me.
My eyes glance down to the dashboard but only for a second. I’m too scared to actually take my eyes off the road for long.
“I’m only going with fifteen miles per hour, asshole,” I tell him. “If I go any slower, we’d probably get arrested.”
The drive to my house is the longest I’ve ever been on, despite the fact that, geographically, it’s not very far. My entire body stays tense all the way there, and my hands feel clammy on the steering wheel.
“Fuck, what kind of men are we?” I wonder out loud when I finally stop in front of the house.
Sebastian must’ve thought the same because he already has an answer for me. “We’re God fearing men, that’s what we are. There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to die in a pile up on the expressway, surrounded by all your girlfriend’s things.”
I turn the engine off, the heat instantly suffocating us in the cabin of the truck. We both pop the doors open at the same time and get out. We meet at the front of the truck, and we both rest our hands on our knees at the same time.
“That was too much damn excitement to last a lifetime,” Sebastian says. He clears his throat a couple of times. “If you ever tell anyone that I screamed like a little girl on the way here, I will deny it until my dying breath.”
I don’t even have the energy to laugh at that. We both let out some high pitched noises as we kept on thinking we’d run into something.
“We shall never speak of this again.” I put my hand out for us to shake on it.
“I’m gonna take off now.” He starts walking toward his car that’s parked out in the street. “I’m a little scared to even drive that now.” He lets out a nervous laugh. “I’m traumatized for life.”
I pat him on the back in support. “Call you tomorrow to unload?”
He nods and waves goodbye. Since I don’t need to see him off, I turn to go inside the house.
Before opening the door, I take a deep breath in, bracing myself for what I might find.
Doubt is already creeping in. What if I made a mistake asking Elizabeth to move in?
What if we both hate living together? It would really suck if this ruined whatever we had from before.
I put my hand on the doorknob, turn it, then push the door open. I have no idea what I expected to find, but I am completely taken aback by how the entire vibe of the house has changed.
Music plays softly from somewhere in the living area, and I can hear Elizabeth singing along while she shuffles some bags around. A glance around the entrance tells me that nothing has changed while at the same time, everything has. My heart became happy the second I stepped over the threshold.
I walk around the corner and see her. She is sitting on the floor, sorting through some clothes, separating them by colors and whatnot. My couch is covered in her garments, bags everywhere.
“Hey.” I drop the keys to the truck on the coffee table and take a seat next to her on the floor. “Whatcha doing here?”
She jumps in place, surprised that she’s no longer alone in the house. But then, her face breaks into the happiest grin, like she’s been waiting for me to come home.
“All this…” I point around to all her clothes. “They are meant to be in a closet,” I explain to her. “We don’t keep them in the living room.”
She breaks into giggles. “Shut up!” She pushes gently at my shoulder. “It was just easier to organize everything in here instead of in the bedroom. There’s more light here, too.”
I keep the shutters closed in my bedroom because I want to be able to sleep as much as possible on my off days, and the sun bothers me in the mornings.
The large windows of the living room have a protective film on them that allows for the light to come in but not for the heat.
That way, I don’t have to pull the shades down, especially since I love looking out over the pool.
“How did it go with the truck?” Elizabeth asks. “I can’t believe you drove it. It looks so intimidating!”
“It wasn’t a big deal,” I shrug and lie through my teeth, thankful that I’m sitting down because my legs are still a bit shaky. “Sebastian was a little nervous, though,” I throw my friend under the bus.
I once again take in everything she’s got out here. “Is there enough room in the closet?” I ask, and she instantly looks away in embarrassment.
“I was sorting everything so that I can put in the closet only what I really want. And I’ll put the rest in the suitcases I came with. I’ll rotate them,” she explains.
I frown at hearing that. “Why don’t you put the rest in the spare bedroom closet? It just sits empty. They’ll get wrinkled up in the suitcases.”
Elizabeth drops the shirt she was folding and turns sideways to look at me. She stares at me like she’s about to give me bad news, but how can that be since she hasn’t even been moved in for twenty-four hours yet?
“I feel like I am taking over your life.” Her voice is barely above a whisper.
“You’re not…” But she doesn’t let me finish.
“It’s true,” she insists. “I followed you to Texas without even asking if you wanted me here. I just assumed. Now…” She sighs and looks around. “Now I am moved into your house. I have no real prospects for a job, and you’re trying to support my dream of being an artist.”
I wait for her to continue, but when she stops talking, I don’t know what to say either. I can tell that this is eating at her.
“Maybe I should go back home for a while, Lo,” she whispers. “I can stay with my father until I have my life in order. Then…”
I can’t believe my ears. In one swift move, I pick her up and plop her into my lap.
“I asked you to move in with me because I wanted you here,” I tell her. “And I promise to always be honest with you, okay?”
I shake her shoulders lightly to bring my words home, then wait until she nods that she understands.
“Would I have asked you to move in if this hadn’t happened?
I have no idea,” I shrug. “But once I said the words, I meant them. I know that it took me a while to say I love you again…” She looks away, like she can’t meet my eyes while talking about this.
“But that doesn’t mean that I stopped loving you, Lizzie. ”
She drops her forehead onto my shoulder and remains quiet. I stop talking, too, to give her the time she needs and process what I just told her.
“I hate how I took your love for granted.” Her words are a bit muffled from where she’s hiding her face into me. “It never even crossed my mind that things would not go my way once I got here,” she confesses.
I wrap my arms around her body and hug her close, smiling at everything that is her.
“I’ve always thought of you as more outgoing in bed than out of it,” I tell her. When she pushes at my chest, I laugh. “No, hear me out,” I insist. “You’ve always known what you wanted when we were together, but we never spent much quality time out in the real world for me to actually know you.”
I lean back and bring her head up so that I can see her face.
“I hated that we had to hide before, and I hated even more the way your father found out about us.”
She looks like she is about to cry. “I did, too. I’m so sorry. I…”
“We went about it the wrong way, Lizzie.” I run my thumb softly over her bottom lip.
“Let’s not do stupid things again. We are together now.
I love you and you love me. I will do everything in my power to help you with whatever you want to do.
I believe in you. I believe in us. I need to know that we are on the same page. ”
She very delicately, or as much as one can, wipes at her nose before saying anything.
“I feel responsible for you losing your position on the Sliders,” she says. “If it wasn’t for me…”
“No,” I stop her. “We are not going to look back. Had I not transferred to the Aces, I would still be stuck in the third string position, with not much of a chance to move up in the ranks.”
She gives me a sad smile. “I’m really glad that you’re able to put a positive spin on this, Lo.”
“You need to do the same, Lizzie,” I sigh. “If not, this will be a disaster. Let’s make the most of where we are today.”
She falls against me, arms wrapped around my neck. “I love you so much.”
I kiss her on the lips but don’t take it any farther than that. I don’t want her to think that’s the only thing I want from her.
Elizabeth seems to have different ideas when she opens her mouth, effectively inviting me to do the same.
Since I’ve never been able to resist her, I lick at her bottom lip before slowly dipping my tongue into her mouth.
It is a lazy kiss, with neither one of us in a hurry to rush it, even when she moves her hips against mine.
I get instantly hard, which is a natural reaction to what’s going on, but I am not desperate. I want to enjoy us just doing this for a while. I want both of us to feel secure in each other’s presence and know that we have more than just mind blowing sex.
Most of all, I want her to believe in me as much as I believe in her. I hate the intrusive thoughts she seems to get every so often. They put doubt in her mind, and I fear that they will lead her to leave me just as fast as she crashed into my life.
I want her to trust me that I can make her happy, and that she is the only one for me.