Chapter 38 #2
If I was exhausted—if every fiber in my body vibrated with bone-deep fatigue—then maybe I wouldn't have the energy to think about the fact that his distance bothered me.
Way more than I'd thought it would. The way his absence had somehow become more distracting than his presence ever was.
The way I'd catch myself watching the door during practice, waiting for that familiar flash of blonde hair and that lopsided grin that never came my way anymore.
I guess I pushed myself too hard, because even my teammates had started to notice. Gina's concerned glances. Sarah's whispered conversations that stopped when I approached. Zoe's uncharacteristic gentleness during drills.
And that was when the surprise treats started to show up.
Like the sports drink that appeared by my gear bag after particularly brutal practice sessions, condensation still beading on the bottle like it had been placed there moments before.
Or the protein bars that showed up in my locker when I'd been pushing myself too hard, always the exact flavor I preferred.
Or the way my teammates had suddenly started bringing me chocolate—Snickers bars, specifically, with increasing frequency.
"Thought you might want this," they'd say when I asked. Always casual. Always looking suspicious. But it wasn't like I could call them out on any of it, even though my alarm bells kept going off each time. They were doing what teammates would do.
Now, the locker room door slammed open, jolting me from my thoughts. My teammates filed in, their chatter filling the space with familiar noise.
“God, I think I'm dying,” Zoe groaned, dropping onto the bench with theatrical flair. “These mixed scrimmages are brutal.”
Tell me about it. I thought, my jaw clenching. Today’s practice was the same as was becoming the norm, with Lively barely acknowledging me on the ice. The only difference was that now, I was doing the same .
But even then, ignoring him the same way he ignored me was only making me even angrier; a cold chill growing with each passing day, in my chest. Did I even have the right to get angry at him? Maybe I didn’t, but…
Ugh. What’re you even thinking? Just forget it . I forced my mind back to the present, to the locker room, and away from what ifs and what nots.
“At least you're getting better at working with your partner,” Sarah pointed out, toweling sweat from her forehead. “Remember the first day? You nearly took Matt's head off.”
“He deserved it,” Zoe muttered, with no real heat in her words. “Though I guess he's not completely terrible. For a goalie.”
The casual fondness in her voice had long since ceased to shock me anymore. The last week since our return from Blackwater had shown me that I was apparently the only one having a terrible relationship with my assigned partner.
And it’s your fault. Damn it, I couldn’t even properly gaslight myself this time. Because it was my fault—
“Speaking of partners,” Gina said, and I felt every muscle in my body tense at her tone. I just knew what she was about to say. “Have you managed to actually talk to Summers yet, Hails?”
And there it was.
I turned to give her my flattest stare. The kind that said ‘are you, by any chance, blind?’ without me having to waste breath on actually forming the words.
The look should have been enough to end the conversation. Should have sent my teammates scurrying for safer topics. Instead, they just exchanged those glances again. The same knowing looks they’d been sharing for days, like they were all in on some secret I wasn’t privy to.
Fucking suspicious.
That same bitter suspicion curled in my stomach again as I studied their faces. There was anticipation there. Expectation. Like they were waiting for something specific to happen.
“You know what’s weird?” I said instead, slowly, reaching into my gear bag. My fingers closed around the familiar wrapper of yet another Snickers bar, this one from Dani after today’s particularly grueling session. “How you guys have suddenly become so interested in keeping me fed.”
I unwrapped the bar deliberately, taking a bite while maintaining eye contact with Gina. The caramel and peanuts tasted exactly right, exactly like always, but something about the way my teammates were watching me made my skin crawl.
Their eyes tracked my every movement like I was performing some kind of experiment they were dying to see the results of. Zoe was practically vibrating with suppressed excitement, while Dani kept shooting meaningful looks at the others.
“Since when do you all care this much about my snack consumption?” I arched a brow, doing my best to keep my tone casual.
“We've always cared,” Gina said, her lips curving into a small smile that I didn’t trust. Not one bit. “You've been pushing yourself pretty hard lately. We want to make sure you're taking care of yourself.”
That was true enough. But the explanation felt thin, incomplete. Like there was more to the story they weren’t telling me.
I finished the chocolate in silence, hyper-aware of their continued scrutiny. Whatever they were up to, I didn't have the energy to figure it out right now. I really didn’t have the energy for much else, honestly.
“I'm leaving now,” I announced, slinging my bag over my shoulder with enough force to make the straps protest. “See you guys next week.”
“Say hello to Mallory for us!” they chorused, their voices bright with a warmth that felt way more genuine now. Like they didn’t have to hide their affection anymore.
“Hey, give her this.” Gina thrust another candy bar at me, this one clearly meant for my sister. Her smile was soft, affectionate in a way that made some of my suspicion ease.
I looked down at the pack of M&M’s in my hand, then at my teammates’ expectant faces. They really did like Mallory—that much was obvious. My sister had that effect on people, drawing them in with her infectious enthusiasm and genuine sweetness.
“Sure, whatever.” I agreed, shoving the candy packet into my pocket. “See you tomorrow.”
Their voices followed me out the door and, despite my suspicions, warmth bloomed in my chest at the sound. Whatever else was going on, I knew I was lucky to have teammates who cared about both me and my sister.
Even if they were acting weird as hell lately.