Chapter 13
DANNY
Jealousy tastes like shit, and I’ve been choking on it for two days since seeing him with his ex.
Which is fucking stupid because Noah and I aren’t together. We’re not anything. He’s made that clear a hundred different ways over the past month.
But watching him sit across from some guy in an expensive suit, having coffee like they’re old friends, makes me want to punch something.
I leave the coffee shop, get in my truck, and sit there gripping the steering wheel.
Noah followed me out. He explained about Alex, Chicago, and the player whose career got destroyed because Noah trusted the wrong person.
And I believe him. I do.
But it doesn’t change the fact that seeing them together felt like a knife twisting in my gut.
For the next two days, I avoid him.
We’ve got practice, team meetings, the usual routine. I see Noah around the arena talking to staff, handling media, doing his job. And every time our eyes meet, he looks like he wants to say something.
I don’t give him the chance. I duck away every time he flies into my airspace.
On Thursday night, we’ve got a home game against Seattle. It’s an easy win for us. I play clean, too. No penalties, one assist, exactly the kind of game Noah would approve of.
Not that I’m playing for his approval.
Except I am. And that’s the problem.
After the game, I’m in the locker room pulling off my gear when my phone buzzes with a text from Noah.
Good game. Can we talk?
I stare at the screen.
About what?
About the other day. About Alex.
Nothing to talk about. You explained. I get it.
Then why have you been avoiding me?
I haven’t been avoiding you.
You have. Can we talk? Please?
The “please” gets me. Noah doesn’t say please. Ever.
I let out a deep sigh.
Where?
My office. Twenty minutes?
I should say no. I should go home, get some sleep, forget about Noah Enver and his walls and the way he looked sitting across from his ex.
But I don’t.
Fine.
Twenty minutes later, I’m standing outside Noah’s office, my pulse jumping in my throat. I pause with my fist in midair for a second before I knock.
“Come in,” Noah calls out.
I twist the handle and push open the door. Noah’s at his desk, still in his suit from the game, tie loosened slightly. His eyes are tired as he raises them.
“You wanted to talk.”
“Yeah.” He stands up and moves around the desk. “I didn’t like the way we left things the other day at the coffee shop.”
“Why? You explained everything. He’s your ex. He’s a journalist. He betrayed your trust. I get it.” I shrug. “Don’t need anything more than that.”
“Oh yeah? Because you’ve been avoiding me for two days.”
“I’ve been busy.”
“Bullshit.”
I lean against the door. “What do you want me to say, Noah?”
“I want you to tell me why you’re pissed off.”
“I’m not pissed off.”
“You are. I can see it.” He nods toward me. “Your entire body is tense, like you’re blocking me out.”
“Fine. You want to know why?” I throw my hands into the air and step forward.
“Because I walked into that coffee shop and saw you sitting with some guy who looked like he belonged in your life. And for a second, I thought maybe that’s what you want.
Someone like him. Someone who fits into your perfectly polished little world. ”
“What does that even mean?” Noah asked. “And, let me just say again, Alex doesn’t fit into my world. He destroyed my ability to trust people.”
“Yeah, but he’s still the kind of guy you date though, right? Journalist, professional, probably went to some fancy school. Wears suits. The kind of guy who makes sense for someone like you.”
“Someone like me?”
“Yeah. Someone who’s got their shit together. Someone who doesn’t throw people into barricades at charity events.”
Noah’s expression shifts. “Is that what you think? That I’d want someone like Alex instead of—” He stops.
“Instead of what?”
“Nothing.”
“No. Say it. Instead of what?”
“Instead of you.”
The words hang in the air between us.
“You don’t want me,” I say. “You’ve made that pretty fucking clear.”
“I never said that.”
“You didn’t have to. Every time I try to get close, you shut down. Every time I think maybe there’s something here, you put up another wall.”
“Because there can’t be something between us. You know that.”
“Why? Because you’re the PR director and I’m a player? Because your dad’s my coach? Because people might think you didn’t earn your job?”
“All of that. Yes.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it.”
“It’s reality, Masterson. If someone suspected we were together, everything I’ve worked would go up in smoke. And not only my credibility and reputation, but my father’s position, too.”
“So you’re just going to keep pretending you don’t feel anything?”
“I have to.”
“Even though you do feel something.”
He doesn’t answer. Just looks at me with those dark eyes that have been driving me crazy for weeks.
“Say it,” I push, closing the space between us. “Admit you feel something.”
“It doesn’t matter what I feel.”
“It matters to me.”
“Why?” His voice cracks slightly. “Why does it matter?”
I fist the sides of my hair. “Because I can’t stop thinking about you, okay? Because every time I’m in a room with you, I can’t focus on anything else. Because seeing you with Alex made me want to punch him just for sitting across from you.”
“Danny—”
“And I know it’s fucked up. I know we can’t do this. But I need to know if I’m the only one feeling it.”
He doesn’t say anything and with every second that ticks past, my throat gets tighter and tighter. Then he says, in a voice so low I almost miss it, “You’re not.”
“Then why—”
“Because I can’t.” He runs a hand through his hair, and for the first time since I met him, he looks completely undone. “I can’t risk everything I’ve worked for. I can’t put my father’s career in jeopardy. I can’t let my feelings for you be the reason people say I didn’t deserve this job.”
“So you’re just going to keep fighting this forever?”
“Yes.”
“That’s a damn lonely way to live.”
“It’s the only way I know how.”
I should walk out of this office right now and stop pushing him. But I can’t.
“You know what I think?” I say. “I think you’re terrified. Not of losing your job or your reputation. You’re terrified of actually letting someone in.”
“That’s not true.”
“Alex burned you. I get it. But I’m not Alex. I’m not going to betray you or use you or turn your trust into a headline.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Yeah, I do. Because I’ve spent the last month trying to prove to you that I’m not some reckless asshole who can’t control himself. I’ve done everything you’ve asked. I’ve stayed out of trouble, showed restraint, played by your rules. And you still won’t let me in.”
“Because letting you in means risking everything.”
“Or it means having something real instead of hiding behind your walls.”
There are only inches between us now. We’re close enough that I can see the conflict in his eyes, the way jaw tightens like he’s physically holding himself back.
“Danny.” His voice is strained. “You need to leave.”
“Why?”
“Because if you don’t, I’m going to do something I’ll regret.”
“Like what?”
He doesn’t answer. Just stares at me, and I can see him fighting an internal battle. Then I see the exact moment his control starts to slip.
“Noah—”
He grabs my shirt and pulls me toward him.
His lips are hot and hungry as they capture mine. The kiss is desperate. Almost angry. Like he’s been holding it back for so long that now that the dam’s broken, he can’t stop.
I kiss him back just as hard, one hand tangling in his hair, the other gripping his waist. My entire body sizzles as he presses into me.
He backs me against the door, and I hear the lock click. His hands are everywhere…my chest, my shoulders, my face…like he’s trying to memorize the feel of me.
I pull him closer, deepening the kiss, and fuck, it makes my heart swell and my balls tighten.
This is everything I’ve been wanting. Everything I’ve been thinking about late at night when I can’t sleep. Noah’s control is completely shattered, his walls crumbling around him, and it’s just him and me and this thing between us that we’ve both been fighting.
Suddenly, he pulls back, like I burned him.
“Fuck.” He’s breathing hard, looking at me through hooded eyes like he can’t believe what just happened. “Fuck. This was a mistake.”
“Noah—”
“You need to leave.”
“We should talk about this.”
“There’s nothing to talk about. This shouldn’t have happened.”
“But it did.”
“And it won’t happen again.” He’s rebuilding the walls right in front of me, brick by brick. “This was a lapse in judgment. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”
“Jesus Christ, would you stop doing that?”
“Doing what?”
“Pretending you didn’t feel anything. Pretending that didn’t mean something.”
“It can’t mean something, Danny. Don’t you get that? It can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because I just proved everyone right. I just proved that I can’t maintain professional boundaries. That I let my personal feelings compromise my judgment. That I’m exactly the kind of unprofessional that gets you fired.”
“No one knows. It’s just us.”
“It doesn’t matter. I know.” He turns away, bracing his hands on his desk. “You need to go.”
I turn away, unlock the door, and open it. Then I stop, my hand on the handle.
“For what it’s worth, I don’t think that was a mistake. I think it’s the most honest thing you’ve done since I met you.”
He doesn’t respond.
So I leave, close the door behind me, and stand in the empty hallway trying to process what just happened.
Noah kissed me.
Then pushed me away.
Same pattern, different day. Except this time, I felt him break and give in to what he’s been fighting. What we’ve both been fighting.
And now he’s in his office, probably trying to pretend it didn’t happen, going back to being the cold professional who keeps everyone at arm’s length.
My lips still taste like him. My heart’s thrashing hard. And I can’t stop thinking about the way he looked at me right before he kissed me.
Like he couldn’t help himself. Like he’d wanted to for so long that he finally just gave in.
I drive home, and the entire way, the kiss loops through my mind. The desperation in it. The way his hands felt in my hair. The sound he made when I pulled him closer.
He said it was a mistake.
But it didn’t feel like one.
It felt like the truth.
Fucking finally.