Chapter 16 Zane #2
My teeth find his ear, grabbing onto the lobe before assaulting his neck, nipping and tugging at his flesh. I rub my fingers over the tip of his dick, slicking precum over the slit.
“Beg me to make you come,” I say. “Tell me how much you want this, how much you want me to give it to you.”
I clench my teeth, white light exploding behind my eyes as the orgasm rumbles deep inside of me. But I can’t lose it first. I need…I need…
“Please…” Tate chokes out. “Make me come. Give me everything. I fucking need everything, Zane.”
It takes every ounce of self-control to not yell when the orgasm erupts out of me. Tate tenses then trembles against me, then ropes of cum spill over the side of my hand as the orgasm consumes him.
A few breathless seconds pass before I slip out of him and let go of his cock. I lean forward, my forehead hitting the back of his neck. My shoulders quake, aftershocks rippling through me. My heart thrashes in my chest as Tate slowly turns to look at me.
“This is so fucked up,” he whispers, grabbing some tissues from a box on a nearby table. He hands some to me and cleans himself up before tucking himself back into his jeans.
“Yeah, it is.” I put myself back together, the blood rushing between my ears drowning out the panicked thoughts exploding in my mind. What if Morrison has people in here, watching? What if he saw what we just did?
“We can’t keep doing this.”
“I know,” I say, my voice tight.
“Someone’s gonna figure it out.”
“Probably.”
“My career will be over.”
“Not just yours.”
He looks at me then, really looks at me, and I can see him processing what I just said. That I have just as much to lose as he does. Maybe more.
“Then why are we doing this?” he asks.
“Because I can’t stay away from you.”
“That’s not good enough.”
“I know,” I say. “But it’s all I’ve got.”
He’s quiet for a moment, studying my face for answers I can’t give him. “What happens now?”
“We pretend this never happened.”
“And tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow we go back to being coach and player.”
“That’s it?”
“That’s it.”
He rolls his eyes. “You can’t fuck me like that and then pretend it doesn’t mean anything.”
“It means everything. That’s the problem.”
He grips the front of my shirt. “Then do something about it, Zane. I dare you.”
“I’m trying to be honest because it’s true. I can’t give you what you want, Tate. I can’t be the guy you think you’re falling for.”
His eyes flash with anger. “Why the fuck not?”
“Because that guy doesn’t exist. The real me would crush your life.”
“Let me be the judge of that.”
“No. If I did that, you’d make the wrong choice. You’d choose me over your career, over everything that matters. And I won’t let you do that.”
“That’s not your decision to make.”
“Yes, it is. I’m the one with the secrets. I’m the one who knows how dangerous this is.”
“Dangerous how?”
“Just dangerous,” I say.
“That’s not an answer.”
“It’s the only answer you’re getting.”
I press my fingertips against my temples. What the hell is wrong with me? How could I get in this deep, knowing how his life is hanging in the balance? And I can’t save him from what’s about to happen unless I want my own life to go up in smoke. He’d choose me. He already told me that.
But I can’t choose him. And he deserves so much better than that.
Something dark eclipses the hope in his expression, and his walls go back up. “You know what? Fuck this. Fuck you and your secrets and your protection that I never asked for. I’m done wanting someone who won’t let himself want me back. I’m done pretending that what just happened was enough.”
He heads for the door, but I catch his arm before he can leave.
“It’s not that I don’t want you,” I say.
“It’s that being with me puts you at risk.
I made choices, Tate. Choices I can’t take back.
And they have consequences for everyone I care about.
Don’t get sucked into the black hole of my bad judgment.
” I let go of his arm and step backward.
“Go home. Forget about me. Find someone who can give you what you deserve.”
The rejection in his expression stings. “What if I don’t want to?”
“Then you’re going to get hurt. And I won’t be able to live with that.”
A long minute stretches, and I can see him trying to process everything I’m not telling him.
“I can help you figure out whatever trouble you’re in. We can do it together.”
“Are you serious? You have a future. A career. A family who loves you. There is no ‘together’ for us. There’s just you, going back to your life and pretending this never happened.”
“I can’t do that.”
“You have to.”
“Why?”
“Because the alternative is worse than you can imagine.”
He pauses, taking in my warning, then shakes his head. “You’re wrong. The worst thing I can imagine is not being with you. But I’ll go if it’s what you want.”
“Not what I want,” I murmur. “What I need. What you need.”
He gives a stiff nod and stalks out the door, leaving me alone in the conference room with the taste of him still on my lips and the knowledge that I’ve just compromised everything about this mission, including my freedom, because I’m falling for him.
And that will be deadly for everyone.