Chapter 8
STAN
Being mated to Ax wasn’t something I’d ever envisioned as a possibility, and now that I wore his mark, I half expected to wake up only to discover it had all been a dream.
There was no place I’d rather be than in Axel’s arms—waking in his embrace, falling asleep snuggled beside him, cuddling on the couch with him.
As much as I wanted to spend every waking second with him, I couldn’t. We both had responsibilities, and mine were directly linked to the health and wellbeing of others. And it was time for him to go back to his team so he could get ready to finish out his season.
Before he left, I had him try on all my scrubs. They didn’t come close to fitting him, but they didn’t need to, all they needed was his scent. I wanted to be enveloped by it at all times, even at work.
Saying goodbye to Axel after we were mated was a lot harder than I’d imagined it would be. It was significantly worse than when we said goodbye in college. For some reason, I thought that being bonded would make it easier because it wasn’t “goodbye, goodbye,” it was more of a “See you soon.”
Try telling my fox that. He was already in a pissy mood because we’d spent so many years without our mate, all because I’d been scared. It wasn’t as if he had been doing any pushing. We were both at fault. I wanted to blame it on my youth, but it wasn’t that. Not exclusively.
After the initial joy of discovering that he was mine, mating him, and admitting to all my feelings, I faced the harsh reality that we were the reason it took so long.
The two of us. Axel, for not telling me he’d scented me as his because the timing was off which, to be fair, it very much was.
And then me, from the very beginning, being too leery to shift in front of him, not communicating the way I needed to, not fully understanding all of the hints fate left for me that only now in hindsight I saw.
They say young love is foolish, and whoever they were, they were right. I was foolish beyond belief, and if it hadn’t been for Axel’s accident, I still wouldn’t have him in my life. I hated that something so horrible was the catalyst for us finally being together.
“It’s time to go,” I said, standing in the doorway of the bedroom we’d been sharing. “Coach said the car will be here in five minutes.”
Axel wheeled his suitcase over to me. “I don’t want to leave.”
“You have to.” I pulled him into my arms and hugged him close. “Your team needs you, and you need them.”
They’d been really good about giving him the time that he required to heal, but once they discovered he was out of the woods, they’d been calling and video-chatting with him frequently.
There was never a night when five or six of his teammates would reach out, but there was always one or two.
I half-suspected they had a list to make sure that somebody was in communication with him daily.
Not for the first time, I saw just how much of a pack his team was. Most were human, and there was no hierarchy, political structure, and all of that. But the way they took care of each other, it was very pack-like, and it made it easier for me to say goodbye. Not that it was at all easy.
“I wish you could come with me,” he said, rubbing his cheek against mine, marking me with his scent.
“And I can’t. The hospital is short-staffed as they are. People get sick and hurt, even if I take time off.” Not to mention it would distract him, something he very much didn’t need right now.
“I know.” He looked like a sad puppy.
“It’s not like I won’t see you soon.” Something I kept having to remind myself of.
His phone beeped in his pocket. He grunted and pulled it out. “The car will be here in two minutes.”
“Well, in those two minutes, we can be sad because we need to be apart, or we can spend them kissing.”
“I know my choice,” he said, and brushed his lips against mine.
The kiss was sweet and gentle, and the emotions poured through it, my eyes tearing up, my heart racing. I had to be strong, not show him how much this affected me. He didn’t deserve to feel guilty for leaving. He was going where he needed to be.
I didn’t know how I would’ve said goodbye if I was the one bringing him to the airport. At least here, there was someone showing up to grab his things and putting an end to our prolonged good-bye.
One last hug, one last kiss, and he was gone. He’d be back with the team by nightfall. They wouldn’t be able to take care of him the way I could, but they’d be able to take care of him in their own way, and that was what my mate required right now.
As difficult as it was to give him that last hug, that last kiss, as he went back to his team who was still traveling, it was time.
Axel wasn’t fully ready to play, not being able to shift here in the initial 24 hours had really hindered his progress, but he was close and much better than the initial reports thought he’d be.
Of course, those reports were done by humans, and his healing was far superior to that. Go, furry genes, go.
He needed PT that was specific to his job, or so Coach had explained when he delivered the news.
Ax hinted he would fight to stay here until he was ready to play, but I couldn’t allow that.
As much as I wanted him here, Coach was probably right.
If he was going to get back on that ice, I wasn’t who we needed and neither was the PT he’d been working with.
Axel had asked me to come with him. I wanted to, but it wasn’t practical, not for my job, and as much as we both wished that weren’t the case, it was what it was.
But the reality was that it also wasn’t practical for my mate either.
He needed to focus on his skills so he could get back to doing what he loved, and me being there would be a distraction.
We talked to each other every day, and for the first three, it felt like things were going really well. The team doctor and the therapists were pleased with how far he’d come. Axel was excited. But over time, that diminished, but hope was still there.
Today’s call was different. I knew from the second his face filled the screen that something was wrong.
I assumed he was having an off day, but it was so much worse than that.
They weren’t happy with his progress. The first couple of days he looked unstoppable, but then it slowed to the point of no progress.
Slowing was normal, but stopping? That was a really bad sign.
They said he needed more healing before they could be productive with him. My heart broke for Ax as he told me, only my heartbreak didn’t match his expression as he continued explaining the situation.
“I found a specialist who is a shifter and I think can help me.”
“Oh, that is good news.”
“That’s not the best news. He’s about 20 minutes from your house, so if you’ll still have me, I’d like to come back.”
“Of course, I’ll have you.” What I didn't say was that I was happy. As much as that was true, how could I tell my mate that I was glad he wasn’t well enough to be away from me? What kind of a mate did that make me? “Give me all the details.”