Chapter Fifteen
Spike
I stand in the kitchen, my hands hanging at my sides, feeling like a damn idiot. I’ve just unloaded all my fears onto Emma, and the second I saw that look on her face—hurt, confused, and so damn patient with me—I knew I’d fucked up.
Sam’s gone back to his room, but I can still hear the echo of his words in my head. Is Emma leaving us? How could I have let it get that far?
I’ve been so scared of losing her that I pushed her away. All because I let my own fears spiral out of control.
I take a deep breath, walking toward her slowly, every step heavy with regret. “Emma,” I say softly, my voice already thick with the apology I should’ve given the second I raised my voice.
She looks at me, her eyes soft but still guarded. “Tomorrow, Spike.” Her voice is steady, but I can hear the crack beneath it. I’ve hurt her.
“Please listen to me. We can’t go to bed angry at each other,” I say, the words feeling too small for the weight of the guilt I feel. “I should’ve trusted you, Em.” I swallow hard, feeling the lump in my throat. “I let my fear get the best of me. I’m terrified of losing you. And it scared the hell out of me when I thought you were thinking about leaving.”
She takes a step toward me, her expression softening just slightly. “I understand that you’re scared, Spike,” she says quietly. “But you can’t just assume I’m going to walk away. You have to trust me. Trust that I’m here with you. Spike, I’m not leaving.”
I nod, running a hand through my hair in frustration. “I do trust you, but the thought of losing you just hit me like a freight train. So many thoughts flashed through my mind at once, and I just reacted. I don’t know, I panicked.”
But the more I talk about it, the more I realize there’s something deeper I haven’t fully acknowledged. Something I’ve buried for too long.
I take a breath, a heavier one this time. “It’s not just you, Em. It’s everything. I never really let myself grieve for Tyler and Kara. I couldn’t. I didn’t have the time or the luxury of dealing with it. I had to step up for the boys. I had to be their dad. I didn’t think about how hard that was going to be, how much it would hurt. And now, with you, I’m scared that I’m going to lose it all. I don’t think I can do it without you. I don’t think I could keep it all together if you were gone.”
The silence between us is heavy. Emma’s eyes search mine, and I can see that she understands. She knows the burden I’ve been carrying, even if I’ve never really let it show.
She steps closer, her voice soft but firm. “You’re not going to lose me, Spike. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. You don’t have to do this alone.”
But I can’t help the knot that tightens in my chest. “I just don’t know how I could be everything they need without you, Em. I didn’t even know how much I needed you until…” My voice falters, but I push through. “Until I thought I was about to lose you.”
She reaches up, her hand resting gently on my arm. Her touch is steady, grounding me. “You don’t have to be everything for them. You don’t have to be perfect. We’re in this together. You’ve already done more than you know. You stepped up when it mattered. And I’m not going anywhere. We’ll take care of them together. You’re not alone in this.”
I close my eyes, letting her words wash over me. There’s so much weight, so much grief, that I’ve been carrying for so long. And yet, when I’m with her—when she says things like that—I feel like maybe, just maybe, I could let it go. Let myself feel. Let myself trust.
“I’m so sorry, Em,” I say, my voice raw. “I should’ve been honest with you. I should’ve trusted you. I was so scared of losing you and the boys, but I pushed you away instead of opening up to you.”
She smiles, soft and understanding, though her own eyes are glistening now. “You’re scared, Spike. I get that. But you have to trust me. We’re building something good here. We can’t do that if we don’t talk about it.”
I nod, feeling the tears that have been threatening to spill for so long. “I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to lose any of you.”
She steps forward and wraps her arms around me, pulling me into a tight hug. I hold her back just as tightly, afraid that if I let go, I’ll lose her again. But when she says, “I’m not going anywhere, Spike,” I believe her.
We stand there for a long moment, just holding each other, the weight of everything we’ve said hanging in the air. And for the first time in a long time, I feel a sense of peace settle in my chest. I know it’s going to take time. I know I can’t just bury my fears and my grief anymore. But with Emma by my side, maybe I can start letting it go. Maybe we can build something better together.
“I want us to be okay, Em,” I say quietly, my voice a whisper now. “I want to build a future with you. With the boys. Together.”
She pulls back just enough to look up at me, her eyes shining. “I want that, too. I’m not going anywhere. We’re in this together.”
I lean down, capturing her lips in a kiss that’s slow at first, but then it deepens, and my heart races in my chest. I kiss her like I’ve been waiting my whole life for this moment, because, in a way, I have. This woman—this amazing, patient, and beautiful woman—has filled a hole in me I didn’t even know was there.
Her hands slide up to my shoulders, pulling me closer, and I feel the warmth of her body pressed against mine, her breath mingling with mine like we’re two pieces of the same puzzle. She responds to the kiss with the same intensity, and I lose myself in it. It’s like the world falls away. It’s just her and me, and I’m not afraid anymore. Not of losing her, not of what the future holds.
She pulls back slightly, her lips brushing against mine one more time before she whispers, “We’re going to be okay, Spike. We’ll figure it out. Together.”
I nod, my forehead resting against hers. “Yeah, we will.”
And for the first time in a long time, I’m not scared of the future anymore. Because I know that whatever it brings, as long as she’s with me, we’ll face it together.
Chapter Sixteen
Emma
I step into the living room, surprised and a little breathless. The soft flicker of candlelight dances across the room, casting a warm, golden glow that immediately makes me feel like I’m stepping into something out of a dream. The table is set so carefully—crystal glasses, a bottle of wine chilling, delicate candles flickering in the middle. It’s intimate, thoughtful, and nothing like anything I’ve experienced before with Spike.
“Spike?” I call out, my voice a soft whisper of curiosity.
From the hallway, he emerges, wearing that same kind of gentle smile that’s been making my heart flutter more and more lately. “Hey,” he says, his tone almost shy. “I thought we could have a quiet night in, just the two of us. No distractions, no work, no kids—just us.”
My chest tightens with the sweetness of it all. “This is… amazing,” I breathe, taking a step toward him. “What’s the occasion?”
Spike shrugs, a look of genuine tenderness in his eyes. “No occasion. I just wanted to do something nice for you. Thought you deserved it. For everything you do, for how much you’re here—for Sam and Charlie… for me.”
The words settle in me, and I feel something shift inside, a warmth that goes deeper than anything I’ve known before. We sit down together, and the evening unfolds easily, the conversation flowing, but there’s something more between us tonight. There’s a quiet understanding, an unspoken connection that makes my heart beat a little faster.
After a while, Spike shifts in his seat, his gaze turning a little more serious, the way he looks at me when he’s about to say something important. “Emma…” His voice is thick with emotion. “I need you to know something. I’m in this. For the long haul. With you.”
I feel my heart swell in my chest, and I reach for his hand across the table, squeezing it gently. “I’m here too, Spike,” I say softly, my words steady. “I’m not going anywhere either. I’m all in with you, with Sam, with Charlie… you and me. I’m here.”
The weight of the words hangs between us, and for the first time, I feel the walls I’ve kept up around my heart begin to crumble. I’ve been scared, scared of losing myself, scared of opening up completely. But at this moment, with him—surrounded by the soft light, the warmth of the evening, and the tenderness in his eyes—I realize that I’ve already given him pieces of my heart. And I’m ready to give him all of it.
“I’ve fallen for you, Spike,” I confess, my voice barely above a whisper. “I didn’t want to… I thought maybe I could just keep it light, but I can’t. You and the boys… you’ve changed everything for me. I’ve fallen in love with you.”
His gaze softens, his hand tightening around mine. “I love you too, Em,” he murmurs, leaning closer. “I didn’t know what I was missing until you came into my life. I’ve never felt anything like this… and I can’t imagine my world without you in it.”
The words hang between us like a promise, and without another thought, I lean in, my lips finding him in a kiss that starts slow and tender as if we’re both savoring this moment. His lips are soft, his breath warm against my skin, and I feel the connection between us deepening, stronger than ever.
But then, there’s something else. Something more urgent. I can feel the heat building between us, the unspoken desire that’s been simmering beneath the surface for too long. I pull him closer, my hands sliding up to the back of his neck, fingers threading through his hair as I deepen the kiss. His hands find my waist, pulling me closer, and I can feel the tension in his body, his own need matching mine.
We break apart for a moment, our breaths ragged. “Are you sure?” he whispers, his voice low, full of an intensity that sends a shiver through me.
I don’t say anything. Instead, I pull him back to me, my lips pressing urgently against his, showing him with every movement that this is exactly what I want. I feel his hands slip down to my hips, lifting me effortlessly off the chair and into his arms. My legs wrap around him instinctively, and the heat between us intensifies as he presses me against the wall near the dining room.
The moment is electric—alive with everything we’ve been feeling, everything we’ve been holding back. I can feel the roughness of his hands on my skin, the way he holds me like I’m everything he needs. I moan into the kiss as he pulls me tighter against him, and I can feel the hard press of his body against mine.
Spike’s lips trail down my neck, his hands sliding under the fabric of my shirt, lifting it over my head. The moment is desperate but gentle, both of us needing this, needing each other in a way we’ve never needed anything before. He takes his time, kissing me deeply, his hands exploring, giving me everything without hesitation.
I tug at his shirt, pulling it over his head, needing to feel his skin against mine. The world outside fades away—the only thing that matters is the way he holds me, the way his hands move over me like he can’t get enough.
His lips return to mine in a kiss that’s deeper and more urgent, and I can feel the way his body responds to mine. His hands are everywhere, roaming over my skin, as if trying to memorize every inch of me.
I can’t get close enough to him, I pull him toward me, my hands running down his chest, feeling the hard muscles beneath. He groans into the kiss, a low, hungry sound, and it sends a thrill of desire through me.
With one swift motion, he lifts me again, carrying me into the bedroom, his lips never leaving mine, our bodies pressed together as if we’ve been waiting for this moment our whole lives.
Spike’s hands are everywhere, his touch igniting a fire inside me I didn’t know I could feel. He pulls me closer, his lips trailing down my neck, kissing me with a hunger that matches my own. I arch into him, needing more, feeling the urgency in every movement.
“Spike,” I whisper, my voice barely a breath as I slide my hands over his chest, feeling the heat of his skin beneath my fingertips.
He lifts me easily, his strong arms wrapping around my waist, pulling me against him. His body is solid, pressing into mine, and I feel the undeniable evidence of his desire for me. It sends a rush of heat through my body, and I kiss him harder, more desperately, trying to convey everything I’ve been holding back.
His lips move from mine, trailing down to my collarbone, and I can’t help the soft moan that escapes me as he touches me like no one ever has. He’s gentle yet assertive, his touch both tender and desperate, as if he’s trying to hold onto something precious.
“I need you, Emma,” he breathes, his voice rough, filled with need. “You have no idea how much I need you.”
I respond without thinking, pulling his lips back to mine, my hands running down his torso, eager to feel all of him. I want him as much as he wants me. There’s no hesitation anymore, no holding back. Everything between us is raw and real, stripped of any pretense. Just us—together.
His hands are at the waistband of my jeans, pulling them down as I help him, every move synchronized with the same growing urgency. His lips never leave mine, and when I finally feel the warmth of his skin against mine, a wave of pleasure washes over me, so overwhelming that it takes my breath away.
Spike’s hands move to my back, unfastening my bra with practiced ease, and I let it fall to the floor, feeling completely exposed but utterly safe in his arms. He looks at me for a long moment, his eyes dark with desire but filled with tenderness too, and I feel something shift inside me. It’s as though he’s seeing me in a way no one ever has—and I’m seeing him too, not just his body but his soul.
With a single, fluid motion, he lifts me again, and this time, we make our way to the bed. Spike’s lips return to mine, his touch more urgent now, as though he can’t get enough of me. The world outside of us fades completely. All that matters is this moment, this connection, this feeling of being fully and completely with him.
His touch is a mix of urgency and reverence, as though he’s both worshipping and claiming me. His hands, his lips, his body—they make me feel like I’m the only woman in the world. And when he enters me, it’s not just a physical act; it’s a declaration of everything we’ve shared, everything we’re building.
The way he moves, the way he kisses me—it’s all with a purpose, a purpose that’s all about us, about the love and the trust we’ve cultivated between us. Every thrust, every caress, brings us closer, and I lose myself in the sensation, in the overwhelming need to be with him completely.
“Emma…” he groans, his voice thick with desire, and it’s like hearing my name in his mouth makes everything more real. More intense. “I love you.”
The words hit me like a wave, crashing over me, and in that moment, I know that this isn’t just about sex. It’s about us. About how much we’ve come to mean to each other. About how we’ve built something strong and unbreakable, something that’s ours and no one else’s. This is about our future.
“I love you too,” I gasp, my hands gripping the sheets as his body moves against mine, each motion sending waves of pleasure coursing through me.
We come together in a breathless, overwhelming release, both of us consumed by the intensity of it all. I cling to him as if he’s the only thing holding me together, and for a moment, nothing else exists but the two of us, intertwined in the most intimate way possible.
Spike collapses next to me, both of us breathing heavily, our bodies still tangled together. His hand finds mine, squeezing it gently. “I don’t ever want to let you go, Emma,” he says, his voice raw but filled with warmth.
I turn my head to look at him, my heart full, my soul content. “You don’t have to,” I whisper, resting my head on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath me.
This is everything. It’s love, trust, and the promise of a future together. And no matter what happens, I know that we’ll face it—together.