Chapter 4
Sven
four
. . .
Vanessa steps toward me, reaching for my forearm. Her touch sends a lightning bolt of heat through my veins. I don’t like physical touch as a general rule, but when I think back to that night nearly ten years ago… It was different with her.
It’s never been the same since.
She freezes, and I take her hand in mine. Her eyes flick back to me, and I see her make up her mind.
Dragging me to a corner of the equipment cave, I angle myself so Andrews, the new guy, can’t see her.
“I’m about to do something, say something, that you may not like. I know we have a… history. And I know you keep to yourself, so this just might actually work. But can you go along with this for a few minutes? Nobody else has to know except him. I just want him to understand I’m not getting back together with him.”
When she told Andrews she’s seeing someone, my shock was twofold: one, I haven’t seen her with anyone or heard about anything, and as much as I try to stay away from it, there’s a lot of gossip in this locker room. Two: my pattern recognition skills and ability to put two and two together quicker than most people made my spine tingle, even if I wasn’t entirely sure why.
She wants me to be that person she’s seeing. And in a twist I didn’t see coming, my hand lands on her shoulder, surprising us both. “I’ll do it. Whatever you need.”
“It won’t be an issue?” She arches an eyebrow.
“No?” I’m confused.
“It’s not against the rules, technically. It’s just a pain in the ass with the paperwork. And I don’t hook up with hockey players,” she says quietly. “I—we can’t?—”
“That won’t be a problem.”
Her eyebrows go up.
“Do you think he’ll suddenly start telling everyone?”
Vanessa bites her lip. Her mouth is painted in a soft mauve lip stain, and it makes me want to pull her bottom lip into mine.
As a general rule, I don’t like kissing… but I did enjoy kissing her that night all those years ago.
Everything with her has always been antithetical to my rules.
I shrug. “I mean, if he does, we just… pretend?”
Her eyes go big. “You’d do that?”
“It’s not that big a deal,” I deflect.
When she joined the team a few seasons ago, I was in a relationship. It didn’t last much longer.
But by the time I was single, she had made clear to the team that she didn’t fool around with players. And not because it’s against the rules. It sounded like it was her personal edict. Something she just solidified.
Who am I to try to convince her to abandon her morals?
“Sven…”
The sound of my name on her lips makes me shiver. My cock reacts, constrained by the cup I’m wearing under my gear. It’s not a comfortable experience.
“I respect your boundaries. It’s just pretend. I don’t have to like it, but it means I can’t ask you out, so?—”
I stop, pressing my lips together. I did not mean to say that. Fuck.
She frowns. “You want to ask me out?”
“You don’t go out with hockey players,” I remind her. “I’m a hockey player. That means I can’t ask you out.”
Vanessa stares at me. “Wow.”
“What?”
“You just—you accept it at face value.”
“It’s a boundary. It’s black and white. A line in the sand.”
She shakes her head. “You’re something different.”
But she doesn’t sound like she means different is bad. Just that different is new.
I decide I like that.
“So what does this mean?” I ask.
“Will you pretend to be my fake boyfriend? Just to get Robby off my back?”
“Yes.” I’ll do pretty much anything she asks. Pretend to do the thing I apparently already want? Yeah, I don’t see the downside here.
“Thanks. I owe you.” She shoots me a quick smile, and I reach for her hand. She flinches. “I thought you don’t like physical touch.”
“I don’t.” I lace our fingers together. “Doesn’t mean I can’t help you out with this.”
Touching her doesn’t make me feel itchy. Yeah, my heart is pounding, though it’s with adrenaline instead of overstimulation. It’s not an unpleasant sensation. In fact… I might be able to get used to this.
She leads me back over to Andrews, who scowls when he catches sight of our entwined hands.
Good. That’s why I did it.
Well, it’s one reason.
“Sven,” she says, in a more gentle voice than I’ve heard from her in eight years. “Have you met Robby?”
“We met earlier,” Andrews says stiffly, jerking his chin at me.
“Robby, Sven is my boyfriend,” Vanessa says.
He narrows his eyes. “What the fuck?”
“We’re together,” she continues.
“Didn’t he just get here?” he demands.
“This is my fifth season with Boston,” I say evenly. “I don’t think we’ve met. Did you play in the league?”
He clenches his jaw and looks away. He has the lean frame of a player, big and wide like a goalie. I’d bet dollars to donuts he languished in the minors for a few seasons before getting a lucky break as equipment staff.
Inside, my heart is hammering a thousand miles a minute, and she squeezes my hand so hard I think she might bruise the bones.
It will be worth it, though.
“I didn’t know you were seeing anyone.” He almost sounds sad. “Bex said?—”
My face contorts into a scowl. I remember her friend Bex.
“We keep it quiet around the team. I haven’t officially filed the paperwork yet, but I guess I need to do that now so we don’t have to hide anymore.”
“No,” he says slowly, “I don’t suppose you do.”
There’s a wistfulness in his eyes I’m not sure I understand.
Does he want her back?
I don’t see why he wouldn’t. She’s freaking amazing.
I realize I’m still holding her hand. Squeezing lightly, I run my thumb over the back of her knuckles.
Her entire body goes tense.
She looks up at me, her light blue eyes bright. I meet her gaze again, letting myself get lost in her eyes. She’s even prettier than I remember. She’s wearing combat boots with her leggings, and her long blonde hair falls in soft waves from the clip at the crown of her head.
She’s wearing makeup, but it looks light and natural—I can’t really tell where her features start and the makeup ends, only that the effect is an overall softening of her features that draws me in. Her eyes are lined with dark liner and lashes, and her pale pink lipstick makes me think dangerous thoughts about her lips— where they’ve been, and where I want them to be.
Fuck. Maybe agreeing to be her boyfriend was a bad idea. Even though I’ve never had the experience before, I kind of want to be her boyfriend for real.
Since the night I gave her my virginity, I’ve been with a handful of women, but I’m not exactly Rico Suave. Most of the time, I let them pick me up, and I let them lead the show.
Not puck bunnies, though. I know better than to sleep with someone who just wants to use me for their own personal gain.
Andrews clears his throat, and Vanessa jumps back. Reluctantly, I release her hand, and she takes the packet of paperwork from him.
“Thanks. Welcome to the team,” she says.
“Happy to be here,” Andrews says.
But as he looks between us again, I don’t think that’s true—not anymore.
Coach’s whistle blows on the ice. Shit, I’m late. He’ll probably force me to do suicides until I puke.
“Gotta go, babe.” The word feels foreign on my lips, and at the same time, so perfectly right. I dip down and kiss her cheek. “See you later.”