Chapter 26
Sven
twenty-six
. . .
Vanessa’s breath slows to a moderate pace. She’s not panting like she’s just run a marathon—or had a fantastic orgasm—and she’s not choked up like she might cry again.
When I peek down at her face, she’s calm and relaxed. Pliant.
Her hand moves from my belly up to my sternum, and she looks up at me, a satisfied smile on her face. Her blonde waves are messy, and her makeup is smeared over her face—and she’s absolutely the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen.
How the hell did we get here? How did I get so lucky as to get this second chance with her?
One thing’s for certain: I’m not going to waste this opportunity with her. I waited for her for nine years. I can wait a little longer for her to be ready.
Vanessa arches up against me as she moves her legs to remove her panties, shuffling up the bed until she can set her hand on my cheek, and she lowers my head down for a kiss. She lets out a groan, no doubt tasting herself on my lips. Deepening the kiss, she slips her tongue into my mouth, tangling with my own.
As I slide my arm more firmly around her, I shift us so we’re both on our side, facing each other. I draw her leg up over my hip, opening her up again—but I don’t touch her.
She tries to pull me on top of her, tries to rub her core against me. The sensation of her hot, wet cunt, brushing against me through my pants is enough to overload my brain. With everything I possess, I force myself to still.
She breaks the kiss and frowns up at me. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong.”
“You’re… stiff.” She runs her hand down my arm. “What happened? What did I do?”
I have wanted this for so fucking long, and now that it’s here… I almost don’t know what to do.
This thing we have between us—it’s more than just sex.
I mean, sure. She’s the only person who can touch me without a full body shiver in a bad way. And she’s the only person I’ve ever felt completely safe around. Okay, and yeah, she’s the only person I’ve ever wanted to pursue.
It’s more than that, though.
Isn’t it?
I love the way she bites her lip when she’s thinking, and the little furrow in her brow when she’s concentrating, and the way she lets out a happy sigh after her first sip of coffee. I love the way she always has a kind word for everyone, the way she’s always ready with a fist bump or high five for the guys after a good play or a goal, and the way she fits so effortlessly with the team, like she was made to be part of us.
Since the moment she walked back into my life, all of my thoughts have centered around her in one way or another. Yet I didn’t even let myself consider a world in which this could ever happen.
And now that it’s here…
Vanessa sets her hand on my cheek.
“Hey, it’s just me,” she says quietly. “This is just us.”
My eyes flick to hers, so full of kindness and understanding. My throat gets choked up and I have to swallow to force all of my feelings back to a place where I can navigate them.
And that’s when it hits me: this is a lot.
She told me, but I didn’t understand, not really. My feelings for her aren’t little, they’re all-consuming… and right now they’re threatening to consume me.
So how did she feel when I bombarded her with my declarations? She didn’t even have the benefit of four years of wanting on her side.
“I’m sorry,” I say quietly.
She tilts her head, her brow furrowed in confusion. “What for?”
“We should have dated. We should have taken this slow. I pushed you, I rushed you. That wasn’t fair of me.”
Vanessa runs her fingers over the short beard lining my cheek. I shiver—in a good way.
“However we got here, I’m glad that we did,” she says. “We’re going into this with our eyes wide open and our feet firmly planted. We’re making healthy, mature decisions.” She trails her thumb over my bottom lip. “And that is what will make this work.”
“I hope it does.”
She takes the opportunity to press her thumb past the crease of my lips, and automatically I suck and swirl my tongue around her finger.
A heady dose of want courses through me. I’m powerless against her; she holds all the cards. I’d do anything she asks.
Vanessa removes her thumb, running the wet digit down my chin and to the hollow of my throat. Her fingers rest lightly around my neck, exerting the tiniest bit of pressure.
I swallow.
She smiles.
Surging forward, I meet her halfway for a kiss. It’s rough, needy. Her tongue flicks into my mouth and her fingers tighten on my neck. She’s not constricting my airway, just letting me know she’s there.
She’s in control.
She’s in charge.
And I like that.
My cock jerks in my pants, and I know she feels it, pressed up against me as she is, because she smiles against my mouth. I pull her leg over my hip, grinding into her to relieve some of the pressure.
Her bare, wet cunt is hot and slick, and even with my suit pants in the way, it feels absolutely amazing. I don’t know if I can wait to be inside her again.
Vanessa removes her hand from around my throat. I can’t stop the disappointed whine that bursts out.
But then?—
She moves her hands to my waistcoat, unbuttoning it quickly, and I disconnect from her to pull it off. Her nimble fingers work quickly at my shirt, focusing on the buttons there.
With three freed, she groans and tears at the middle of the shirt, ripping the fabric and sending buttons flying.
Helping her, I remove the shirt, tossing it on the floor behind us. Her hands go to work on my belt, whipping the leather free. The whistle of the leather through the straps makes me shiver.
Vanessa pauses. “Are you okay?”
“No, I’m not,” I tell her honestly.
“Is it a bad sound?”
Shaking my head, I pop the button and zip on my pants. “It’s a very good sound.”
“Then…”
Taking her hand in mine, I guide her into my open pants, and she grips my shaft automatically. I tighten her fist around me to get the pressure I need.
“This. This is what you do to me.”
She strokes my cock slowly, tortuously slowly. I think I might die. I honestly think I could come just from this. I might want to.
If this is how I go… yeah, I’m okay with that.
She’s still wearing her dress, though. That’s not okay. That’s not right.
Pulling her hand away, I scoot back. She’s watching me intently. I can’t read the expression on her face.
There’s a zipper on the side of her dress. As I pull down the tab and cleave away the fabric, she sighs and helps me. It’s a pretty dress. I like it on her. But I like it even better on my floor.
When I finally have her bare to me, I reach for her again.
But Vanessa shakes her head. “We need to have a conversation.”
“Now?” I set my hand on her hip. “What do we need to talk about?”
“I’m on birth control,” she says.
“Okay. And?”
“And I know the team tests you regularly. I’ve been tested since—well, I’m good,” she says. “But I’m not ready for kids, I want us to be in a different place if that happens.” Her eyes meet mine. “Not if. When.”
Swallowing thickly, I nod. “Okay.” She’s meeting me halfway. She’s not saying she doesn’t want it. She’s just not ready for it right now.
“I just—I’d feel better if we used condoms, too,” Vanessa whispers. Her shoulders go up around her ears. “Is that okay?”
I blink. “Why wouldn’t that be okay?”
She swallows. “I know some guys don’t like them, and, well…”
“I’m not some guy, I’m yours,” I tell her. “And my first priority is always going to be making you feel safe and comfortable and loved. Always. What you’re asking isn’t unreasonable. So yes—until you’re ready to go without, there’s no reason not to use condoms. Contraception is both of our responsibilities, but you’d have the burden to bear. You’re already taking a medication that has a profound impact on you. Using condoms is hardly asking me for the same sort of commitment.”
Vanessa blinks a few times. “You’re just… you…” She shakes her head. “Who are you?”
Rolling away, I offer her my hand. “Hi, I’m Sven. I’m your boyfriend.”